Belonging
by missblueeyes63
Summary: Sam struggled to feel accepted by the team. The events on the day he finally feels like he belongs are the catalyst that brings enormous pain to Sam, his team and others. Will Sam's past kill him? Will he find the beauty of life again? Will he ever truly belong? - Whole team plus OCs.
1. Breathe, just breathe

**Belonging**

_**Summary:** __Sam struggled to feel accepted by the team. The events on the day he finally feels like he belongs are the catalyst that brings enormous pain to Sam, his team and others. Will Sam's past kill him? Will he find the beauty of life again? Will he ever truly belong?_

_**Setting:** Begins a few months after Sam joins Team One. Ends with a lead into Eagle Two. Mostly stays in character cannon but most are a bit more emotional. My take on Sam's backstory weaving into his SRU world. There will be lots of emotional and physical hurt. I've built a fairly painful backstory for Sam but he continues to thrive in spite of it._

_**Characters:** Sam centric but whole team plus OCs supporting because I like __deep friendships between all the good characters._

_I do not own Flashpoint nor any of the characters from that series. I do own my original characters (OC)._

* * *

**Breathe, just breathe ...**

* * *

_**SRU HQ - Outside  
**_

Sam Braddock slowly opened the door of the patrol car and stepped out. Glancing up at the entrance to the SRU Headquarters he felt so drained. "Thanks for the ride" Sam mumbled quietly as he shut the door.

The seasoned patrol officer replied "just doing my job" as he shifted the car back into drive. As he drove away the officer could only shake his head slowly and thought to himself 'I've been on the job a long time, too long and I've seen so much over the decades. But never, never, never something like this. How do they do it? Day in and day out they had to deal with stuff like this. It would take a strong, resilient person to handle the burdens of their job.'

He doubted if he could ever do what they have to do so often. He silently chided himself that he didn't say something other than 'just doing my job'. That boy is in pain, so much pain, it's etched into his soul and all I can say to him is 'just doing my job'. How pathetic.

'Just doing my job', wasn't that my mantra Sam dully thought. He stood in the parking lot, for how long he didn't know. His head hanging down, not moving, stone cold still, still as a statue, not even breathing. He finally succumbed to the need for air and took a slow painful breath in.

He was so tired. It hurt so much. Could he walk in? Should he walk away? His heart, mind, and soul were torn to bloody shreds and so very conflicted. His physical body wasn't in much better shape but at least it wasn't bleeding out uncontrollably.

Here, this place is where family is, a safety of sorts he had never really known before joining the SRU. But after yesterday …? His thoughts stopped. Oh god was it only twenty-four hours ago? he asked himself. Yeah only twenty-four hours. So much had happened in just that short period of time.

Did he belong? Did they still want him here? Would they really care if he left?

All he had known from family, the biological kind, was condemnation. Never good enough. Every little error flaunted in his face over and over. Never acceptance, no tolerance, no concern or care, only unfulfilled expectations of being the perfect son. No, not son, not son, that's wrong. The perfect what … soldier? Yeah, that's it, the perfect soldier. Pain so deep … breathe, remember to breathe, slowly.

Could they, his chosen family, want someone like him around? Could they accept him after what had happened? Was it only yesterday that the light filled him and he felt like he really belonged?

But now, oh god, now would he find solace or retribution with them? He forced himself to take another slow painful breath in. God it hurt so much. 'I'm a killer; I was trained to be one since I was old enough to hold a gun. No emotions, breathe, hold, aim, squeeze softly like a caress, and snuff out a life' he said softly to no one.

Was SIU agent Richard Donner right? Was he unfit? Was he too quick on the trigger? Was he a murderer? Was he a liability to his team? He blanched when he recalled Donner's accusations "SIX! Six Braddock! Do you hear me? Six people you killed today! Without a second thought. In cold blood. In the span of thirteen hours you murdered SIX PEOPLE! You are so sure of yourself, so cocky, too fast on the trigger. Your badge is NOT a license to KILL. How can YOU even believe you are fit to be an SRU officer? You put your team at risk every time. With every person you kill you put BLOOD on THEIR HANDS TOO!"

A deep sigh escaped followed by a shaky shallow intake of breath. It hurt too much to take anything other than shallow breaths. He lifted his head slightly and started to move listlessly towards the entrance. Time to face whatever was coming. He was many things, but coward was not one of them. Even if it ripped the last vestige of his soul from him, he would face his team.

It was all his fault. Wasn't it? So much blood on his hands, he's the one that pulled the trigger six times. No, wait, only five times. But six deaths belonged to him because he failed to be quick enough on the fourth shot. Aw damn I'm so confused … death comes if I'm too fast or too slow.

Sam kept moving towards the entrance. Just a few more steps and he'd be at the door. He would endure whatever they threw his way. He always did. He would allow them to vent every hateful feeling they had for him and pin the blame for all this blood where it squarely fit, on him.

He would take it in, push it down, seal it in the dark, thick walled place he contained all his hurt, shame, guilt, pain, inadequacy, and failures. He'd never let it show. His mask, his façade, his walls were well-built after years of construction.

Hand on door. Breathe, just breathe …


	2. Morning Workout

**Morning Workout**

* * *

**_Previous Morning - SRU HQ - Gym_**

"Hey Samo, you're late" Ed called as Sam walked into the gym.

"Morning Ed, Wordy, Sarge" Sam replied with a solid smile and walked to the heavy bag taping up his hands. "Sorry boss, won't happen again. I'm not sure how, but I fell asleep early last night before setting my alarm."

Wordy, Greg and Ed, shared a quick glance with one another. Sam was smiling! He was late, so out of character and he had a real smile on his face. What is up with that they wondered?

Sam looked well rested and relaxed too; as if he was comfortable. Sam was never comfortable. He always had a bit of defensive edge to him. Something had happened, changed. It was good to see. So they all smiled and got back to their workout.

As he started his bag workout Sam was silently musing. He was actually very shocked when he awoke this morning at five am to find that he had slept so soundly and for so long. No nightmares had woken him in the wee hours of the morning.

The team had ended their shift on time yesterday, a rarity, and he'd gotten home around seven-thirty pm after grabbing a pizza and some beer. He'd sat down on the couch and turned on a hockey game, opened a beer and the box of pizza. He didn't remember falling asleep but was sure he didn't see the end of the game.

In fact, when he woke on the couch his bottle of beer was only half gone and two slices of pizza were eaten. He figured he had gotten nine solid, uninterrupted hours of sleep. Totally unheard of for him, usually he survived on four to six with a catnap here or there.

Their shift officially started today at seven am, but the team always showed up two hours early for workout. So technically he was twenty minutes late when he arrived at five-twenty. When he'd looked at the clock he'd been so shocked at the time and being late that he ran to the bathroom, brushed his teeth, then grabbed his keys and ran to his truck.

He'd gotten to the truck when he happily noticed he was dressed. Good thing he had fallen asleep fully dressed not even kicking off his boots. Otherwise it would have been a bit embarrassing to end up at his truck in only boxers or less.

Sam stopped his silent musing and realized that Jules, Spike and Lou were not in the gym. "So it looks like I'm not the only one late today. Where are the others?" Sam asked.

"Jules had a problem with the Jeep. Spike and Lou, well it's their day for coffee run so they must be stuck there." Greg said. "So Sammy you're the only one without a good excuse" piped up Wordy from the treadmill. "Does that mean he gets extra cleaning duty" he continued.

Ed smiled and cocked his head as he continued to lift weights. "Maybe, depends."

At that moment Spike, Lou and Jules all rounded the corner into the gym. "Morning guys. What depends on what?" Jules said as she smiled at them.

"Well, you see … all you young pups are late on the same day. None of you could get your butts in here on time. No one respecting my authority as team lead. So I have to decide what punishment to dole out" Ed sternly said.

Although the effect of Ed's stern voice was totally ruined by the amused smirks on Greg and Wordy's faces. "Aw guys, you two are worthless, thought you'd have my back on this" Ed chuckled.

"It is a unique situation for sure though. Don't think it's ever happened before. It is extremely rare that anyone is late and I don't think we've ever had more than two late on the same day but I know we've never had over half the team late. Ed, we might be slipping. Might be worth instilling a little more discipline, everyone who was late scrubbing the floors, what ya think?" Greg laughed as he ran his hand over his head with a towel.

Before Ed could reply Spike's excited voice cut in "Maybe it's an omen that today will be totally awesome and unique. Could be something so profoundly different and life altering than we have ever experienced? How cool would that be?"

Lou just shook his head and asked "Who wants their coffee?" He passed out the coffees to everyone and there was a collective sigh as they took their first drink. The team happily bantered with one another as they continued their workout.

The discussion was light and fun and everyone offered up suggestions on how a day could be profoundly unique for a SRU team. Spike was currently on a rant about maybe aliens popping up and babycakes saving the day.

Sam smiled. For him, something profoundly different had already happened today. For the first time in, oh so long, he was truly and deeply happy. This was his chosen family and he felt accepted and cared about. He belonged. It felt good, no it felt GREAT. He had slept, REALLY slept for the first time since before his first tour.

He attributed that to the feeling that he was making a difference, no longer just a point and shoot guy. This was good. Sleep was good. Family was good. Here, this place was definitely good. He was profoundly happy.

Greg, Ed and Wordy shared a knowing glance with each other. Their unvoiced conversation conveyed that, YES today was a unique day. It was a GOOD day. They all recognized that something had finally changed in their rookie this morning.

An actual light was in his blue eyes this morning. There was a genuine smile on his face. There was subtle shift in their team too. Their family had grown and everyone had finally accepted a very talented young man into its fold. He was now and forever a valued and loved member of this family.

Fortunately it had finally happened. Unfortunately it had taken a lot longer than it should have and that was their fault. As leaders of this team they shouldered that responsibility.

As Greg peddled on the exercise bike, his thoughts slipped to when the rookie joined. It had not been an easy transition. Actually it was like walking through hell. They had all made mistakes, every last one of them.

But Greg and Ed felt theirs were the biggest being the leaders of the team they owned setting the tone and they had failed big time. Unfortunately, they had made assumptions about the ex-soldier. They had been pissed that he had not joined the team in the usual manner; they did not get to pick him. They felt that if he had gone through regular selection he would not have made it onto Team One, let alone any other SRU team. He was cocky, self-assured, he swaggered. He was army, shoot first, and ask questions later if at all.

He just didn't fit. He was a privileged, spoiled army brat. Hell what else were they to think when Sam got his position on Team One because his father the General spoke to Commander Holleran. Greg still did not really know the facts about how Sam actually got the job. All they were told was that he was ex-JTF2 and a qualified sniper.

Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. Perhaps his father had gotten him in to JTF2 the same way; all prestige no substance. Holleran never felt it was necessary to explain the kids' past or qualifications beyond being a sniper. He just told Greg and Ed he was on the team and that was it, end of story.

That first call with Sam had almost been a complete disaster. Sam had thrown a proverbially lit match in when he sent up the heart. Based on how he joined and that first call the team did not give him a chance and came down relentlessly on him for every single mistake however minor.

He cringed thinking, never had they ever treated a rookie like this. Yeah rookies make mistakes but they had always mentored them and helped them understand the whys of the actions. With Sam they just berated him and treated him like an outsider.

Looking back, Greg could clearly see how Sam had reacted to their harsh treatment. Firstly and most unexpectedly, the harder they were on him the harder Sam tried. He never gave up. He was a quick learner and didn't seem to make the same mistake twice. Not that the team ever gave him credit for that. He tried so hard to fit in and do what was expected.

Sam was good at following orders. Well except for putting himself in dangerous situations, Ed believed he still had too much soldier in him. Ed was constantly pissed about that; had thought that Sam was playing at being a hero or showboating. But Sam never failed to have their backs, even when it risked his own life.

Greg now saw that it is a core element of who Sam is, he is a protector. It is so deeply ingrained in him, it is instinctual. To change that would be to change who Sam is in essence and Greg would not want that. Sam is a good man. He wished he'd been open-minded at the first and recognized that.

The second thing that he, Ed and Wordy all noticed, the thing they most regretted, was that a mask had begun to fall into place. When the team, especially Ed would come down on him and berate or belittle his actions, Sam would just sit and listen with this blank look on his face. When they were done harping on him he would simply and emotionlessly say 'I'm sorry sir' or 'Yes sir, won't happen again'.

The first few weeks Sam did try to defend his actions but that would cause the team to just dig in harder against him even when it was not logical. Greg can now distinctly recall when he stopped. In the debriefing of a call where Sam had disobeyed a direct order and put himself in harms way to save a seven year old girl he had quietly listened to everyone's criticisms and then tried to offer his explanation for his actions.

He was rudely cut-off at every turn. After about fifteen minutes of trying to get us to listen he finally said in a soft defeated voice 'I'm sorry sir, my fault, won't happen again sir'. As Sam turned his chair to stare out the window, Greg distinctly heard him mutter very softly and sadly under his breath 'I just thought that SRU was about saving people that can't save themselves'. He said it so softly it couldn't be heard by the others and it did not register fully with Greg at the time because he was still upset at the risk Sam had taken.

After a few months, in addition to no longer offering any defense to our criticisms Sam stopped offering any input to tactics. No matter how minor, he just followed orders. His blue eyes held no spark; he rarely smiled or showed any emotion, more like an empty shell just going through the motions of life.

Except for when he trained with the heavy bag. That thing took a lot of abuse from Sam. The bag had to be replaced three times in two months. Sam would come in, do his job and leave, never hanging out with the team, not that anyone had ever invited him.

It was sad that it took the death of a civilian and the event afterwards to get Greg and Ed to pull their heads out of their asses and recognize that their actions had set the team up for failure and seriously hurt a member of their team.

Serving the warrant on the drug dealer started with good preparation. It all went to hell when Ed allowed a cryptic comment from a Special Forces training liaison to plant the seed of doubt and question the loyalty and ability of Sam to cover the team's back.

Ed has still not forgiven himself for this, it is a sin he has etched on his soul. He cannot for the life of him understand how he allowed an unsubstantiated comment to get under his skin in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Ed still needs occasional reminders that it was from those events that we were able to recognize the bigger error and begin the process of making amends before we lost a team member.

Sometimes in Greg's darker moments of recrimination he thinks that Sam quitting the team is not how he would've lost him if it had continued. How long could someone live without cracking when they constantly gave of themselves but got only indifference and callousness in return? It was worrisome that Sam seemed to be able to operate in that kind of world, and made Greg question what had happened in the kid's past to enable that.

The horrible scene still plays out in Greg's mind. There was friction as the team got ready to execute the warrant. Ed changed up the tactical plan at the last minute and relegated Sam to third instead of point for entry.

Sam chafed at the change and Ed told him 'When you're the democratically elected leader you get to make autocratic decisions.' The quick flash of anger in Sam's eyes that was just as quickly squashed was telling. He didn't feel a part of the team and did not know why Ed did not trust him. Especially since only two hours earlier Ed had given him rare praise and told him he was staying on point.

Then the civilian entered the apartment and totally blew the entry plan out of the water. In the end they had to do a hard entry and Sam did not stay in formation and went in without a shield. The civilian was shot by the drug dealer and died in Ed's arms.

Ed's emotions were raw and mixed. He was angry a civilian died. He was angry that Sam didn't follow orders and put himself in harms way. AGAIN! Damn that rookie did that too often.

When Ed saw Sam standing near the EMS truck he lost it. He slammed Sam against the truck, hard. Not his finest moment; later shamed that he got physical with a team member under his command. But he was so damned angry. The one thing that worried Ed most was the safety of his team and when they behaved in a manner that put them in jeopardy, he saw red.

Greg had been focused elsewhere but his attention was drawn when he heard Ed yelling "I don't know, but that is not your call! And maybe I was wrong, Sam. Maybe. But I need to know that my team is on my side."

Sam's anger had flared red hot and he could no longer contain it as he yelled back "Then treat me like I'm on your team."

Ed stepped closer to Sam and menacingly postured "What?"

Then with slightly less heat Sam said "You wanna know what happened in Afghanistan? Is that what this is about?"

Sam's tone dropped the heat and changed to one of giving a report, just cold hard facts, no emotion. "I was taking out targets in a stronghold, 1500 meters away. The reccy was done, I was cleared to fire."

His carefully controlled mask slipped a little, sadness started to show in his eyes and voice "We went down to do the id's."

Then in a fraction of a second the mask completely fell and it looked like it shattered into a million pieces slicing Sam deep to the bone. Every emotion was laid open for viewing. The intense pain, the unrelenting guilt etched deeply into his soul, the pure unadulterated grief shown in his eyes and his voice cracked with raw emotion "One of them … was my be..best friend Matt. I was sn..sniping with a .50 cal."

It was clear as day to anyone listening that his next words were said more to try and convince himself rather than anyone else. Trying desperately to justify his actions to himself, knowing it would bring no real solace, breaking hoarse words said softly "He …sh.. shouldn't have b…been there. I was … was cle…cleared to fire."

Sam's final words were what slammed home that we had unfairly judged him. Caused him untold pain. Reinforced his belief he wasn't a member of the team. That we didn't deem him worthy. That we hadn't even bothered to listen or try to connect with him. Sam's mask started to slide back into place, it was frightening to watch how quickly he reconstructed it, as he softly and with just a hint of sadness said "You just had to ask."

Five simple words 'you just had to ask' condemned our treatment of Sam. That night Greg, Ed and Wordy stayed after everyone left for the day. Wordy was first to speak and said what we each felt. "We treat subjects with guns to hostages better than we treated Sam. Shit, we yelled at him at every opportunity for not adequately following the SRU motto Connect, Respect and Protect. What fucking hypocrites we are."

Ed spoke next, rage filled his voice. Rage directed at himself. "When did we ever try to connect with Sam? Never, not once did anyone of us try. He was just the teammate that was forced on us. We were so busy blaming him for how he arrived on the team. We FAILED, we seriously and utterly failed."

They all agreed and sat stewing for a long time. Each consumed by a sense of guilt and personal recriminations of actions they either took or failed to take. Finally, Greg spoke up "So, how are we going to fix this? It is up to us."

Ed stared at Greg then Wordy "Is it possible or is it irrevocably broken? Have we broken him?"

Wordy softly said "We can fix this, we will fix this. Sam has been incredibly hurt by us but he is not broken. It will take time though; it won't be a quick fix. We have to show him, demonstrate to him that he can trust us; that we care about him and we have his back. I have no idea how long it will take, but if anyone can do it, it is this team."

It had taken longer than they had anticipated. It still burned to know they had caused someone so much pain. But as Wordy pointed out to them over the past months, pain that deep and walls that thick and impenetrable were not the result of a few months of mistrust. Those walls took years to build and reinforce.

But today Sam had come in smiling, really smiling and more relaxed and rested then they had ever seen him. Had they finally breached the walls?

All thoughts were interrupted as the sirens went off and Winnie called over the loudspeaker "Team One hot call, shots fired."


	3. Hot Call 1 Bang Fitness - 7 am

**Hot Call 1 - Bang Fitness**

* * *

**_Enroute to Bang Fitness - 7 am_**

"Team One, gear up. Winnie, details" Greg said as he was pulled from his memories and moving to gear up himself.

"Shots fired, at Bang Fitness on Bay View Ave. Full address sent to your PDAs. At least two hostages according to the caller. Subject is an unknown male at this time" Winnie rattled off.

"You gotta be kidding me – shots fired at a place called Bang fitness. Talk about irony" Spike quipped.

Snickers could be heard from most of the team. They could always count on Spike to lighten the tense mood with some witty, or not so witty, remark.

"Units on scene and setting up a perimeter. They say they have three witnesses for you to talk with when you arrive" continued Winnie.

"Thanks Winnie. Jules, you and Lou find out what you can from the witnesses when we get there. See if we can identify the subject, hostages and what prompted this" Greg directed.

* * *

**_Bang Fitness - 7:10 am_**

Arriving on scene, three black SUVs and a command truck come to a rapid halt. Seven SRU team members emerge quickly. Jules and Lou head off to question the witnesses. Greg engaged with the senior patrol officer on scene to get an update on the current situation.

Ed rounded the back of an SUV to get geared up as he handed out tactical assignments to the rest of the team. "Spike, in the truck, I need you to pull up blueprints of the gym and send them to our PDAs. See if you can get eyes in if there are cameras. Wordy, need you to determine the best entry point. Sam, you're Sierra 1. We don't know where the subject is yet but see if you can find a vantage point across the street since the gym's front is all floor to ceiling windows. See if you can locate the subject and determine the number of hostages."

A chorus of "Copy that" sounded through the headsets.

Sam scanned the businesses across the street from the gym to determine which one would give him the best visibility into it. The roofs were too high to give proper view into the single level gym. He picked the one directly in the center. It had windows on the second floor that opened.

It would allow him to position himself with good visibility to the entire gym and if he had to take a shot, he could do so without damaging the windows of the business. It was Sam's ability to rapidly assess a myriad of conditions while considering the impacts and making a split second decisions to minimize the impact to the public that made him a tactical asset to the team. He grabbed his Remi and kit from the SUV and sprinted over to the building.

The officers had not cleared this business yet. As he walked in he realized it was a massage therapy spa. He had been slightly intrigued by the business name 'Relax'. Now he understood.

The looks the patrons gave him as he entered were priceless. Sam had come to understand that most people were a little in awe of a SRU officer in full tactical gear. It was a sight to see. The team liked to joke it was because they had the 'cool pants'. He got a few smiles and 'I want you' looks from the ladies in the reception area, not that he really noticed, which he didn't usually.

His short blonde hair, intense blue eyes and rugged good looks had that effect on women; even without the SRU uniform. And today, all that was enhanced by a beautiful smile that seemed to be plastered to his face. Sam clearly had no clue the affect he had on women, devastating. He calmly informed the manger of his need to be in the center room of the second floor and was immediately granted access. The patrol officers arrived to clear the business and secure the building.

As he set up the rifle, Sam listened to the chatter of the team, keeping abreast of the developments but he could not keep his mind from wandering a bit to the fact that he was so very happy today. He was doing something he loved, helping people and he belonged to a family. Belonging felt so good.

"Sorry Boss, no cameras in the building. The owner wants to make sure people don't feel uncomfortable when working out. Apparently, many people feel self-conscious about video cameras taping them while they sweat. Doubt our Jules would mind. Know Samtastic wouldn't; he probably go shirtless and hog the camera time" Spike joked.

Sam lightly laughed at Spike's comment. He really liked that guy. Sometimes he was over the top but he made Sam laugh a lot lately. Laughing was good, it helped heal the soul.

He opened the window to quickly scan the gym across the street with the high-powered scope. "Boss, Ed, I've got a good view of the whole gym. No blind spots. Got a twenty on the subject. He's against the green wall, about mid-way between front and back, near the free weights. Has a gun to the head of the female hostage who is on her knees in front of him. Second hostage, male, also on knees in front of subject but facing hostage one. I don't see anyone else in the gym. And Spike you're just jealous I can bench more than you."

As Sam lay down on his stomach on the massage table to line up the shot Greg replied "Good info Sam. Let's focus now guys."

"I've got the solution" Sam informed them as he settled in to watch and wait as his teammates, no his family, worked their magic. His professional sniper mask slid onto his face, but there was a faint hint of smile at the corners of his lips. Something that had never been there in all of his life when readying himself for a shot.

"His name is Clive Parch. He was a personal trainer at the gym until last week. The assistant manager tells me that he was fired and banned from the gym because a woman accused him of unwanted sexual advances and inappropriate touching during training sessions" Jules shared.

Spike couldn't help himself as he said "And more innuendo to Bang Fitness. I could sooooo have a field day with this." Soft snickers were heard from several teammates.

"Ed let's slowly move inside and try to get his attention; see if we can get him talking." Greg proceeded to enter the gym with Lou and Ed providing cover behind shields. Wordy was covering the single rear exit as a precaution.

"Spike, join Wordy in the back since we have no techy stuff for you to play with here" Ed directed.

Slowly approaching Clive and the hostages, Greg quietly asked Jules "Do we know who the hostages are yet?"

Jules chimed in again "Yeah Boss, the woman hostage is Lori Plane, she's the one who lodged the complaint. The male hostage is Neal Johnson, Lori's boyfriend. The second witness was also a client of Clive and said that he has been having violent moods swing lately. One time he got so mad at him for doing nine reps instead of ten that Clive threw a free weight at his head. Missed him but after that he refused to work with Clive again. The third witness said this is out of character for Clive, but he thinks he's been under stress while preparing for a weight lifting competition. Said he's been bulking up really fast. He thinks the accusations are false and that Clive is upset at being banned from the gym so close to the competition."

"Why does he think the accusations are false" asked Lou.

"Says that Clive doesn't swing that way and Lori has been hitting on a lot of the guys at the gym to try and make Neal jealous" Jules responded.

"The bulking up quickly could present a problem Boss. Clive is as big as a freaking house, that's just not normal. Wonder if he is taking steroids? It might explain the mood swings and anger issues" Sam piped in.

"If that is the case, talking to him will be very difficult Boss. I knew a guy on the force years ago that got into steroids. Messed him up bad, his rage would go from zero to sixty in a blink of an eye. He went off the deep end one day because some guy borrowed a pen from his desk. It took four guys to take him down, and three of them ended up injured; one bad enough to require EMTs. So watch yourselves" Wordy interjected.

"Good to know" Greg said then he began negotiations with Clive.

As Sam watched through the scope he could see that Clive was all over the place emotionally. He had a bad feeling how this was going to end. Clive was going from red to yellow and back to red with amazing speed. Nothing Greg said seemed to be working.

The woman, Lori looked so scared. She had tears running down her face as she gazed helplessly at her boyfriend Neal in front of her. Sam couldn't see Neal's face but he could probably empathize with what he might be feeling watching what was happening in front of him.

Sometimes you were just in a situation you had no control over and needed someone to help. That's why there was the SRU. Sam smiled again, slipping slightly out of sniper mode. Not because of this situation, but because he was here with Team One and they would help as best they could. They would do everything in their power to get Lori, Neal and Clive out of this mess unharmed. He hoped Greg would be successful with talking Clive down.

Sadly, Clive escalated again, hitting Lori on the head with the back of his hand and shoving her down while lunging forward and pointing the gun straight at Greg's head. "Scorpio" Ed called.

Sam instantly took the shot. No hesitation. Hesitation could cause an innocent or team member their life. Sam had the quickest reaction time of all the snipers in SRU. Hell, he held the fastest response time in all of JTF2 during both his tours. He thinks he may have even held that 'honor' when he was training for Special Forces. His father had started training him when he was only six. Hours, upon hours spent at the range when most kids were playing sports or just hanging out having fun. Punishment was brutal if he failed to hit the targets where and when the General demanded.

A direct hit to the brain stem leaving no chance of a twitch of a finger on the gun as Clive crumbled to the ground. Dead. Sam rarely missed. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he missed.

However, he remembers when he wished with every fiber in his being that he had missed. Matt. Oh god, Matt, he thought as all traces of smile vanished from his face.

"Subject neutralized" Ed softly called into the headset.

Sam lay completely still. Breathe held as the pain of taking another life and remembrance of Matt washed over and through him carving another line in his soul. He hated taking a life but logically knew that it was necessary sometimes. But it didn't make it any easier. He had taken so many lives; death was familiar, all too familiar, but never ever easy.

The General was a cruel bastard who kept forcing his son into mission after mission in JTF2. Other members in his unit got downtime. While they were taking a break from the horrors of war he was forced to temporarily join other active units. Always put in missions with high death counts.

Sometimes Sam wondered how many lives he could end without completely losing his soul. He knew exactly how many people he had killed though he would never share that number with anyone. It was too painful to let others know how much blood there actually was on his hands. It would color their perception of who he is, the person he desperately wants to be.

Breathe, remember to breathe; a shuddering deep breath taken in and harshly blown out.

"Sam you okay?" Ed queried hearing the ragged breathing over the headset. Ed knew what it was like to take the shot. The first breathe after always burned. It took some time to clear the head after too, even if the shot was to save an innocent. Ed had been amazed and frankly a little scared at how quickly Sam could right himself after taking a shot.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Be right out" Sam managed to reply smoothly. That was his standard reply 'I'm fine'. It was true; Sam did not like to lie. Fine was an absolutely true statement if you knew that he actually meant F.I.N.E. instead of the simple word fine. Yeah, Sam was F.I.N.E.; Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. Who wouldn't be F.I.N.E. after ending a life?

The post shoot mask slipped firmly in place, as he pushed the pain and Clive's face down, down deep into the dark place he built to keep those things and firmly locked them away.

He grabbed his kit and Remi and headed out the door to hand over his weapons to the SIU agent. He hated the interrogations with a passion. He was forced to open that place and allow the ghosts and pain out while he relived the shot over and over in excruciating detail.

Sam understood the legal and ethical need for it, but damn some of the agents could be brutal and it was sometimes hard to keep the mask firmly in place. Some agents were actually compassionate; those sessions were not too bad to deal with. Some SIU agents just treated it as a formality to validate the auto-scripter account. Those were the easiest; he could stick to just facts, no emotions dredged up. But unfortunately as in all professions some people were just assholes and relished in making a process as painful as possible.

His first lethal force experience with SRU he had been assigned one such SIU agent. Richard Donner. At the time he and Ed were still butting heads and not really communicating. So Sam had no idea of the actual process, he had no prep or guidance on how to handle it either.

He didn't realize he was allowed a lawyer, no one told him. Right after the shot was taken SIU had swooped in. They confiscated his guns and placed him in a patrol car with a directive that he was sequestered and was not allowed to speak to anyone other than SIU. The scene was a mess and Greg's attention was needed elsewhere. So Sarge did not accompany him since SIU was so fast on picking him up. He now knows SIU did not follow standard procedure that day.

When he arrived at SIU headquarters he was briskly ushered into a small windowless room with only a metal table and three uncomfortable looking plastic chairs. Agent Donner told him to strip to his boxers. The SIU agent had actually sneered at Sam's shocked expression.

He had not expected to have to strip, let alone in front of someone; not that he had any shyness after being in the military, but it did take him by surprise. He was so very glad he had not gone commando that day. Knowing that part of the process now, he never went commando at work. That would be slightly embarrassing to strip completely down, especially in front of the female SIU agents.

Everything was bagged and tagged as evidence by a young constable who looked rather uncomfortable with the whole process. Once he was only in his boxers, not even socks, agent Donner pointed to a chair and said, 'sit' while he threw a file folder on the table. Sam sat shivering slightly in the ice cold room answering the same questions over and over for what seemed like hours.

Sam decided that agent Donner got his jollies by hearing the sickening details. He kept asking for more and more descriptive words to be used to 'paint the picture'. How far did the blood spatter? Was there any on the subjects face, on the hostage? How fast did he fall? Was he still when he hit the ground or did he twitch? Questions Sam couldn't even begin to see how they pertained to determining if it was a justified, legal use of lethal force.

A lawyer stormed into the room three hours later. He only knew it was that long he'd been in that room because the lawyer indicated that in the tirade he unleashed on the agent upon entering the room. The lawyer, Dale Gibbson, exploded in a barely chained fury at agent Donner for not contacting him sooner and for beginning the interview without him.

Gibbson also lodged a formal complaint against the agent when he found out that Sam had been denied water, the opportunity to call a family member (not that he had any to call) and most especially denied clothing. He had been appalled Sam was forced to participate in only his boxers for three hours. The session ended quickly after Gibbson arrived.

Sam liked Gibbson. He had Dale's number in memorized contacts now. He now always called him on the way to SIU and the man never failed to be there when Sam arrived. Sam was not sure how the man always arrived before him at SIU but in a small way it comforted him to know someone would do that for him.

Sam laughed a little bit remembering the whole thing. Gibbson made it clear that he thought it was cruel and unusual to force Sam to be interviewed in only boxers. What Sam never shared with the lawyer, or anyone else for that matter, was that he wished all the 'cruel' interrogations he'd been subjected to were that cozy.

The faded scars on his torso were visual testament to ones that were actually considered cruel and unusual. The sad thing that popped into his head as he approached the SIU agent was that one might think that the worst scars were inflicted by the enemy while he was in JTF2. But in reality many of the worst scars, the ones not visible to human eyes, were much, much worse.

"Aw crap, my head is all over the place today" he said softly as he started to hand over his Remi to the SIU agent.

"What was that Samo?" Ed asked hoping he hadn't heard what he thought he did. Not a good sign if his men were not totally focused and on point while on the job.

Sam didn't realize he'd voiced that aloud until then. So to cover up he flippantly said with a hint of sarcasm "Said nothing Ed, you hearing things? And hey you know you're not supposed to talk to subject officer."

"Okay, I see you're following protocol today Sammy. Good boy" Ed glibly retorted.

"Ed, told you not to call me Sammy" laughed Sam.

"Oh so 'boy' is okay but Sammy is not. I'll make note of that Samtastic" Spike interjected.

"Jules is the only one that is allowed to call him Sammy" added Wordy.

"Don't bring me into this, boys" Jules laughed with extra emphasis on the word 'boys'. "I'm over here just minding my business and packing up" she finished.

"Easy children, settle down. Sam we'll see you for debrief back at the barn when you're done with SIU. You did good" Greg said as he took off his hat and rubbed his hand over his head. Still trying to figure out how he had lost the subject, he replaced the hat and moved towards the command truck.

This good natured bantering brought the smile back to Sam's face. It was nice to belong.

Sam was about to respond with thanks, when Winnie's voice broke over the headset "Team One, hot call, shots fired, robbery alarms triggered, Central Bank in mid-town." During that exchange Ed had walked to where Sam stood with the SIU agent.

"Winnie we are one man down, with Sam going with SIU. Taking on a bank call is not ideal without a full team. Is Team Three available?" Greg asked.

"No, sorry Sarge, both Teams Three and Five are engaged in calls and it would take over an hour to recall either Team Two or Four."

Ed adopted his sternest face and stared at the SIU agent "Sorry, my officer is needed in the field. Bag his rifle and gloves for now and when we are finished you can have him back."

It was rare, but there was precedence for this course of action. Hot calls and team safety in the field trumped SIU interviews. The SIU agent agreed hesitantly but took the Remi and gloves only, leaving Sam with his unused side arm. Sam and the rest of the team ran to the SUVs to head to the next call.


	4. Hot Call 2 Central Bank - 9:30 am

**Hot Call 2 - Central Bank**

* * *

**_Enroute to Central Bank - 9:08 am_****_  
_****_  
_**Team One was speeding toward Central Bank in mid-town. Cross talk via the headsets was minimal. Everyone was mentally stowing the last call away to put full focus and energy into the current call. They'd done this a lot. Sometimes on a bad day they would have two or three hot calls in a row.

They each had their own method to process and prepare. Some were quicker than others although they were all pretty fast at it. Jules glanced over at Sam in the passenger seat and silently wondered how he was able to change gears so quickly. To her it seemed like his process was as simple and quick as closing one door and opening another simultaneously.

She had started to covertly study Sam trying to understand what made him tick shortly after Ed, Wordy and Sarge had had a serious heart to heart with her, Spike and Lou on team dynamics a few months ago. Spike with his twisted sense of humor had dubbed it _'The Proper Care and Feeding of Samtastic'_ discussion. Not that anyone ever told Sam that the six of them had sat down to thoroughly discuss how badly they had screwed up those first months Sam had been on the team.

One Friday evening at the end of debrief just before shift was over Greg had announced that the team had the following five days off. He said he needed to speak privately with each member of the team before they left for the night, beginning with Sam. Greg had looked pensive when he informed them. Jules could read a confused look on Spike's and Lou's faces. Ed looked thoroughly pissed off. Wordy's demeanor was like when he was worried about one of his daughters, fatherly concern.

Sam, well he was extremely hard to read and after the first few weeks with the team he had become almost entirely unreadable. She attributed that to his military training, especially the Special Forces training. She figured those types of guys had to be hard and closed-off to do their jobs.

As she glanced at Sam a small look flittered briefly across his face. Jules instantly interrupted it as guilt or more descriptively 'crap, so now I've screwed up so bad it's affected the entire team, again'. It shocked her that that was how she read his brief look. Especially the 'again' piece; where did that come from she wondered?

Jules herself probably mirrored the same concerned look as Spike and Lou, although better contained. She tended to hold her real feelings very close to the vest. Especially any that would make her appear weak or girly. She couldn't allow that to happen and ruin everything she had worked so hard to achieve. The only emotion she was really comfortable with expressing was anger. Anger didn't show vulnerability.

Everyone was released to shower and change and await their private meeting. Sam had done so in record time; probably his military training again. Sam met with Greg for about ten minutes and left directly after not speaking to anyone. One by one, the remaining members met with Greg and then also left without speaking to anyone.

Five of the six had gotten the exact same message from Greg. Be at his home at eight am sharp tomorrow. And under threat of instant dismissal from SRU they were not to drink any alcohol that evening or speak to any member of any SRU team after leaving the meeting. Greg explained that he needed them completely clear headed tomorrow morning. Greg never shared what he had said to Sam that day, but the message had to have been totally different than the one she, Ed, Wordy, Spike and Lou had been given.

At eight am sharp the next day, six of the seven members of Team One were seated around Greg's kitchen table. All noted that Sam was not there but Lou was the one to voice the concern. Greg simply stated that Sam was exempt from this meeting.

Then Greg took a moment and rubbed his hand over the top of his head and across his eyes as he often did when he was upset. He inhaled sharply and gave each one of them a pointed look as he slowly exhaled then stated "We have a serious problem with team dynamics."

That was the beginning of _'The Proper Care and Feeding of Samtastic'_ discussion. Sarge outlined the problem, which was that the team had not given Sam a chance and had made him feel like he was not a member of the team. Greg apologized to the team for letting them down by allowing the problem to arise in the first place and allowing it fester for so long.

Sarge then pointed to several boxes containing the transcripts from every call the team had been on since Sam had joined the team. He told them they were going to review each and every one of them so we could learn what our mistakes were and then develop a plan as a team to fix the situation. That is why he had arranged five days off. This was a serious and complex problem and he expected it to take that much time to analyze the issues, process our feelings and to develop an effective plan.

Everyone sat in stunned silence for a good twenty minutes. There was not a single sound, not one word uttered from the six team members sitting around the table. He allowed us time to process what he had said, to comprehend the seriousness of the situation and start to accept the fact that the best SRU team had royally screwed up.

Finally, the Boss broke the silence, "Listen closely, we are human, we make mistakes, we save strangers every single day. Let's do what we do best and save one of our own. We can salvage this, it won't necessarily be easy, but I believe in all of you. We are more than a team, we are family. Our family needs to make its newest member feel like he belongs. Because if we don't we will lose an amazing person. Who despite our callous attitudes and actions, has repeatedly covered each and every one of our backs for months; often taking extreme risks to his own life to protect ours. He deserves better from us! We will find a way to prove to him we are worthy of him."

Over the next few days as the case files were reviewed, there was a lot of self-recrimination, heavy hearted guilt and a few tears shed by all. The black and white words of the transcripts starkly illustrated how much Sam was doing for the team and how badly the team had treated him.

Greg and Ed and to some extent Wordy tried to shoulder the bulk of the blame saying it was their jobs as the leaders of the team. But the rest of us wouldn't allow it. We were all to blame equally. We would emerge from this a better team, a stronger family. We just had to determine the best way to ensure that the team and family included Sam Braddock.

After the initial review of the files looking for their faults they reviewed them again looking for Sam's strengths. Things they could use to begin the process of fixing this ugly mess. What they found amazed them.

They saw that his quick thinking, physical speed, strength and sniper skill had saved their butts on more than one occasion. They learned that when he took risks, the ones they had rudely deemed 'stupid' risks, there was usually logic applied before action taken.

There were still rookie mistakes as was to be expected and 'army instincts' as Ed referred to them. Like the time Sam threw himself on a concussion grenade. Ed argued that although the Kevlar vests would protect him, the action was still risky and he believed it was more army instinct rather than calculated risk assessment.

Ed learned that almost every time he let Sam pick his own Sierra vantage point Sam had a clear solution. He was damned good at analyzing blueprints and choosing a position that afforded the best coverage for the team and hostages.

Honestly this revelation both distressed and impressed Ed. The kid was good, damned good. But to get that good means he had to have a hellva lot of practical experience. It was not a skill you picked up from textbooks. Ed sadly thought the kid was too young to have that much experience.

Wordy pointed out that Ed had placed Sam on point for almost all locked soft entry points. Subconsciously, Ed must have recognized that when speed and stealth were needed Sam was the go to guy.

Spike and Lou acknowledged that Sam had been helpful with several bomb calls. But they also noticed that on those calls Sam had gotten extremely quiet. Lou suggested that maybe Sam had seen to many buddies killed by IEDs while in Kandahar. That comment silenced everyone. They had never really contemplated that Sam had served two tours with JTF2 and had probably been exposed to more death than they had.

Spike had wondered aloud what would make someone so accomplished leave JTF2 and join a police force. Jules had been looking directly at Ed when Spike spoke and saw in Ed's eyes that he thought he knew the answer and it was not pretty. Jules asked Ed to share. He responded 'Not my story to share, but I agree that it would probably take something significant to make a decision like that.'

She then remembered the night Commander Holleran had introduced Sam to the team at the retirement party. After Sam asked about her name, she had been annoyed and blasted back at him with "Elite special ops anti-terrorist guy leaves it all behind for the glamour of urban policing. Huh. What's up with that?" She can now see that the question caused him pain. He instantly grabbed onto Spike's question about how many Al-Qaeda guys he had taken out. His flippant "what you mean like out to dinner?" response effectively changed the course of the conversation and deflected from something he obviously did not want to discuss.

They had all agreed that he sucked at negotiating. Greg insisted it was because of the many years Sam had spent in the shoot first environment and they all needed to work with Sam to help him develop the skill.

* * *

**_Outside Central Bank - 9:30 am_**

Jules was brought back to the present and caught the only the last of what Winnie was sharing about the current situation "… and the person that got out said they looked like military types."

Jules quickly chided herself for getting so lost in memories and missing out on what was said. She muted her headset and looked to Sam pleadingly and said softly "Sam, I didn't catch all of that. Recap for me please" and then turned her headset back on.

Sam gave her a quick wink and lopsided grin then said "So Sarge, if I got all that, what we have here is three subjects, possibly military trained, armed with automatic weapons, four hostages, one is a baby so no CS gas, only one way in and out of the bank, five people got before the hostages were herded to the back, no one harmed so far. Did I miss anything?" He finished just as they pulled up.

Jules smiled and quickly mouthed a silent 'thank you', then cringed a bit as Ed said "No Sam, didn't miss a thing. Nice recap though for anyone that was distracted."

"Spike, you know what I need?" Greg asked as he entered the command truck.

"Right Boss, on it, eyes in two minutes. Hopefully with sound. Just gotta hack their security password unless there is a manager that can provide me it quicker" Spike said as he started to make the necessary connections to the feeds.

"Sorry Spike, just checked with the five that got out, no managers, only customers" Jules informed him.

"Boss, I'd like Sam covering you if you go in. If these guys are military he might be the best one to connect. Give him an opportunity for some field training with you right there to guide him" Ed stated.

"Good call Ed, in the last negotiating training session he called me an asshat and failed to listen to my demands" Lou laughed.

Sam blushed as he and Wordy grabbed the shields and trotted over to Greg's position near the front of the bank. He really did suck at negotiating. It scared him a bit to actually do it in the field, but if the boss told him to take over he would do his best. He just hoped his best would be good enough. He knew the boss would be right with him and help him if he faltered.

Ed commanded "Lou, take over info gathering from Jules. With Sam inside I need you in a Sierra position Jules. With that baby in there we need to have someone cover each of the three subjects."

Two "Copy that" were heard as the team executed Ed's commands.

* * *

**_Inside Central Bank - 9:45 am_**

Greg, Sam and Wordy made their way into the front of the bank as the subjects started to engage with them. Lou identified the subjects as Private Tom Summers, Corporal John York and Private Marty Green. John appeared to be the leader of trio and was the one currently talking with Greg.

"They all came home within the past three weeks but no additional information on their service records is available immediately. We need authorization to access the records" Lou said then continued "Winnie can you work on that please."

"Will do but it might take some time" she responded.

"Winnie can forward the info to Spike when it comes. Lou, I need you to get another shield and slowly make your way into the bank closer to the hostages if possible. Be ready to cover them if necessary." Ed continued to give orders and it was decided that Sam and Wordy had John, Ed had Marty and Jules had Tom. Wordy would take over for Sam if Greg handed negotiations over to him.

"You don't get it. You've never been there. The things that they do to you as a prisoner over there. You will never understand" yelled John as he was escalating and waving the gun around.

Greg looked over at Sam and with a tilt of his head was silently asking him 'do you think you could connect?' Shit, he didn't want to do this one but with a slight nod Sam answered in the affirmative.

Sam drew a deep steadying breath, slowly letting it out to settle his nerves and slow his racing heart. Greg inched over to him and they switched positions with Greg taking the shield and raising his weapon while Sam lowered his. Wordy instantly took over aiming at John. It was a seamless transition of roles. The team was good. John recognized something had changed when Sam spoke.

"Corporal John York my name is Sam Braddock with the SRU. I'd like to talk with you to see if we can resolve this so no one is harmed." Sam took a slow breath in and out to calm the adrenaline coursing through him and glanced to Sarge who gave him an encouraging smile. "Can you tell me what you need?"

"Like I told the other guy, you can't understand. You just don't know what it is like over there. You sit in your cushy homes and leave us to deal with all the shit on our own. You will NEVER UNDERSTAND! They do things that aren't human. You think the only issues we have to deal with is dying buddies being blown up or shot. But there are things much worse than that. But you don't know so you cannot help" John's voice was shaking with raw pain, anguish and a good deal of anger.

Sam was listening. He heard loud and clear. But how to help them? That was the question. John was not thinking clearly, none of the three were. They all had a haunted look to their eyes. He had an inkling that they were here to die, force us to shoot them, suicide by cop. How could he stop that from happening?

He realized that he was the only one on the team that had even a snowballs chance in hell of truly connecting with these guys. Crap, he knew what he had to do. Wasn't gonna be pretty, he'd pay for it emotionally for a while, but it was the only way he could see to get them out of here alive.

Sam mentally fortified himself before answering. "That's where you are wrong, I do understand."

Greg instantly hissed in his ear "Sam first rule, don't lie."

Sam shook his head slightly in answer to Greg but continued talking to John "I'm with the SRU now but before I was Master Corporal Samuel Braddock, with JTF2 in Kandahar. Served two tours and I know there are worse things to see and deal with than bombs and death. Talk to me buddy, I'd like to help."

John was silent for a moment then turned and stared directly at Sam and then slowly started to say "You were over there? Really? You look too damned young and innocent to be a Master Corporal. But even if you were you never saw or endured what we did."

John motioned to Marty and Tom "We were from different units but all ended up in the same hell hole. My unit was slaughtered in front of me then the bastards decided to keep me for weeks. Fed me only a slice of bread and two glasses of water each day. They beat me, punched and kicked me daily."

He shifted his gun then continued "Then Marty showed up and three days later Tom. The bastards were vicious and inhuman. They didn't believe us when we said we had no useful information. We didn't we were just grunts. They didn't care, they just laughed then beat the crap out of us. After four weeks we were rescued."

Pain and anger flared in John's face as he sneered "Ha rescued. That's a screwed up word. I wasn't rescued; part of me is still there. I can't sleep. I keep remembering every hit. You cannot understand what it like to live like that, wondering if today is the day they would finally kill you." Then he paced back and forth three steps agitated again.

John stopped then looked directly at Sam and pointed the gun at him as he yelled "YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND."

Sam said almost too softly "Yes, yes I can."

Still looking directly at Sam John and raged, yelling at the top of his lungs "HOW, HOW CAN YOU. You NEVER had to deal with that. Look at your pretty face. NOT A MARK ON IT. There is TOO MUCH LIGHT in YOUR EYES for you to have experienced anything like what we went though. How DARE YOU say you understand!"

Again softly and calmly Sam replied "I do understand."

Sam's eyes shifted and let his mask to fall completely away. He allowed the intense pain that he kept buried deep to surface and appear in his eyes as he mentally gripped the bandages covering old wounds and prepared to rip them wide open. He looked directly at John and waited until John's eyes had locked onto his.

John's gaze was held tight to the young officer only a few feet in front of him. There was a truth and pain in those blue eyes that could never be feigned. It was so intense the heat of it burned directly to his soul. For a second John's breath caught in his throat. All his bodily movement ceased as he concentrated on the calm, clear voice of the young officer that reached his ears.

Imbuing calmness he did not feel into his voice Sam began "I know exactly how you feel. I cannot give too many details because it is still classified. But when I was with JTF2 during my first tour I was held captive and tortured for three months by one of the known terrorist cells. They knew of my affiliation to JTF2. How? No one was able to figure it out, but they had that information."

John's mind registered the ever so slight slump of the rigidly straight broad shoulders of the officer as if they were bending under the weight of the world. Most wouldn't have seen it but he was so close and John was now paying rapt attention to the figure in front of him. The voice continued.

"I know about starvation like you. They only fed me every few days; just barely enough to keep me alive. Only enough so they could keep torturing me. The only water I got was from waterboarding sessions every single morning and night."

John saw a small shake of the officer's head back and forth and the voice shook slightly as it said "Still can't stand water hitting my face."

An audible slow breath in and out and then the voice resumed evenly but with a soft growling inflection that communicated tightly controlled anger "Their favorite methods involved long, very thin whips, needles and steel toed boots. There were many more methods they used but I won't go into those. Just know I understand what you mean when you say some people can be depraved and inhuman."

Spike was in the truck watching the video feed from the cameras. He had zoomed in on Sam with one camera as he had started to speak. He was the only one of the team who could see Sam's face as he spoke.

The broken despair and hurt that etched across Sam's face made Spike gasp. Truth, agony and raw torment blazed in Sam's eyes and Spike suddenly couldn't breathe. An invisible vice squeezed his chest as his lungs screamed for air. How could someone endure that and be the strong, funny, gentle man that Spike had come to know in the past few month. Spike didn't realize he was crying silent tears until they splashed onto the keyboard.

The room was absolutely silent as Sam continued "I was more dead than alive when my unit finally found me. There were days in the months after I wished I was … that I had …" Sam sucked in a shuddering breath and gently exhaled to regain his composure.

He then continued "But eventually it got better. My buddies helped a lot, especially Matt. Having one person is all you need. One person you know has your back; for me that was Matt. He held tight, never letting go and wouldn't let me drown my darkest thoughts. Just one person is all it takes to pull you back to the beauty of life; to help you remember that most people are good and kind. I know it's hard, so very hard but you can put it away. The memories will always be with you, but you don't have to allow them to control how you live your life. You can acknowledge they exist but tuck them away in a safe place."

The whole team was reeling from all Sam was sharing. They had no idea he had been tortured. Sure the guys had seen his torso when changing. But the thin lines, all those faded thin lines crisscrossing his chest and back, they had never imagined Sam had suffered through hell. It took unfathomable courage to lay himself open like that for all to hear.

Jules, having never seen him shirtless, had no visual reference for the torture he described but it was the words he almost said that impacted her the most. He had wished he had died. He was tortured so badly he wished he was dead.

She prided herself on being a consummate professional but this, this, this, oh god this pierced straight to her heart. It was so totally beyond her capability in that moment to stop her body's reaction to this revelation. Her sable brown eyes welled with unshed tears and a small sob escaped her constricted throat as grief, for what he had endured, overwhelmed her.

Greg never imagined that this call would cause such pain for his rookie. Sam had connected with subject but at what cost to his own sanity. Could he bring something like this to the forefront and then tuck it away in that safe place again like he told John?

Other horrible thoughts crowded into Greg's mind; is he able to maintain objectivity? Where is he going with this? Can he turn this to a good conclusion? Greg had recognized the signs of a desire for suicide by cop. What would it do to Sam emotionally if he loses them?

As he was trying to figure out how to proceed to protect Sam and end this call in a good way for all he heard Sam's quiet and firm voice say "So John, now that you know I understand, what is that you need? How can we end this with no one getting hurt? We've all had enough pain for several lifetimes. Can you help me help you by putting the guns down?"

Wordy was closely watching John, his assigned subject, for any signs of threat towards Sam or the hostages. What he saw in the man's eyes was pain or the reflection of another's pain and then decision. Wordy tensed not sure what decision it was. He waited.

Sam took a small step forward to John and reached out his right hand palm up. John remained still. Sam took another step forward and said "Will you hand me the gun, please?"

John remains still. Another step forward. Sam was so close to John now. One more step and he'd be able to touch the gun. Sam stopped where he was and tenderly pleaded "John, please; choose the beauty of life, please."

Everyone's eyes except Ed and Jules were riveted on Sam and John. Waiting.

It all happened in the space of three heart beats, but it all played out in a sickening slow motion for Team One.

Heartbeat 1: John lowered the gun, ready to hand it to Sam. Sam gently smiled and reached out to take the gun, turning his body slightly to the left. Marty lowered his weapon ready to surrender, to choose life. Tom raised his weapon and fired. Jules blinked unshed tears from her eyes.

Heartbeat 2: Jules fired. Sam crashed to the ground.

Heartbeat 3: Tom went down. Greg, Ed, Spike, Lou, and Wordy all yelled OFFICER DOWN. Jules said subject three neutralized. John dropped to his knees his face contorted in agony as he stared at Sam's body on the floor, screaming Nooooo.

Time sped up to normal and controlled chaos reigned. Jules and Ed sprinted to the bank from their Sierra positions. Ed called for Winnie to get EMS to the scene as he ran. Wordy grabbed the gun from John's limp hands and handcuffed him. Lou rushed in to disarm and handcuff Marty. Greg hurried to Tom to secure the weapon and assess his status. Spike raced flat out from the truck directly to Sam.

The hostages rooted in place, frozen in utter shock by what just happened. They all had tears in their eyes after listening to the conversation between the gunman and officer. The young mother cradled her daughter close, shielding her from the view. The middle aged woman's body was wracked by sobbing she could not control. The bank manager's mouth was hanging open and slack as he stared at the brave young officer lying motionless on the floor, eyes closed. Life could be so cruel.

Spike got to Sam a split second before Jules and Ed. Each one dropped to their knees to assess his injury. Spike was breathing so heavily due to the speed of his run and the emotional scene that had played out before him. He was hyperventilating and couldn't speak as his hands roamed over Sam's body trying to find the damage.

Jules gently lifted Sam's head and cradled it on her knees. She lightly tapped his cheeks trying to get him to respond as she urgently called "Sam. Sam do you hear me. Sam wake up. Sam damn it don't do this to us. Don't let your death be on my hands. SAM!"

Ed didn't see any blood as he scanned where Sam lay. He urgently checked Sam's body armor hoping to find the bullet lodged in the vest instead of his body. A few seconds later, which felt like hours, he located the bullet lodged in the upper left just below the shoulder section. A fraction of a second later Sam forcefully coughed and frantically struggled as he attempted to pull air into his lungs.

Sam did not comprehend anything other than pain radiating across his chest and left shoulder and the need for air. He thrashed trying to sit up as he attempted again to suck air in. There was an annoying buzzing in his ears. Hands were forcing him down when he needed to rise. He couldn't get enough air and started to panic. Air, need air. Cough, pain, cough, oh god I need air.

The buzzing in his ears was beginning to make some sense. He tried to concentrate on the sound instead of the pain and the dire need for more air. A commanding tone broke through the swirling confusion. Focus on the words, he fought to rise again, gotta get air. Finally the words broke through with resounding clarity and authority.

"SAM LAY STILL. Do you hear me? Lay still. QUIT FIGHTING." Sam's mind registered it as an order. It was so ingrained in him to follow orders that he immediately stopped fighting the hands holding him down.

"Okay now, sniper breathing. EMS is on the way. Relax. Sniper breathing." He tried, really tried to comply with the order but he couldn't get his body to remember how respond properly.

"IN. HOLD 2, 3 4. RELEASE. That's it. IN. HOLD 2, 3 4. RELEASE. You're gonna be okay, it was in the vest. Relax. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release." Sam listened to the words, following orders; thank god for the guidance, his body had forgotten how to get air into his lungs.

"Good, okay Samo, look at me. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. Open your eyes. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. Come on you can do it. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. OPEN YOUR EYES NOW." Eyes fluttered open.

"There you are. Okay, okay. In. Hold. Release. You scared the shit out of us. Lay still. Keep your eyes open. That's good. In. Hold. Release." Ed breathed a sigh of relief. Damn, the kid responds to well to a commanding tone. But he felt bad having to yell at him when he is in this state.

Ed could see the reproachful looks from several people around them. But he knew he was doing the right thing to help Sam. The tone and volume able to cut through the confusion in a way nothing else could and allowed Sam respond instinctively.

"Get …it …off." cough; gasp; cough "Get it off …pl ..please." cough, gasp, hiss, cough. Hands moved to remove the vest. "Better?" A slight nod of affirmation.

Sam finally began to register his surroundings. Ed knelt to the right of him. But with his face positioned directly in front of him; mere inches from his instructing him how to breathe. It read two emotions. The set of the jaw is commanding and full of anger but the eyes show concern and relief.

To his left side kneeling is Spike holding of his vest. He must have taken it off me. His face is a kaleidoscope of emotions but mostly shifting between sadness, fear and relief with drying tear streaks down both sides of his face.

Above him is Jules. His head rested in her lap and her hand was gently stroking through his hair; feels nice. Her face set solidly in anger, but her eyes are watery.

Standing around him are Greg, Wordy and Lou and they all look to be in varying degrees of distress. What the hell happened? Why is he on the floor? He almost had John's gun.

Intense pain engulfed his chest again and his eyes fell closed of their own accord as he thought, 'crap how'd I screw up this time'.

His ears were assaulted with a chorus of raised voices all at once. "Keep your eyes open." "Come on buddy, stay with us." "Even out your breathing." "Relax. Steady. Help is coming." "You're okay. We've got you." "Samtastic, hold tight, I'm never letting go."

Through the blur of pain, he couldn't distinguish who said what. Well maybe one, only one person calls him Samtastic. Sam slowly forced his eyes to open and locks them onto Spike's concentrating solely on him.

Spike clasped Sam's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze then repeated "I'm holding tight, never letting go."

Understanding dawned. The words, Spike spoke his words back to him. Spike won't let him drown in the sea of pain and darkness. Spike believes in the beauty of life.

Sam gave a slight return squeeze then focused on relaxing his muscles. The pain in his chest started to recede and his breathing started to ease.


	5. Wrap Up Hot Call 2

**Wrap Up Hot Call 2**

* * *

**_Inside _****_Central Bank - 11 am_**

Winnie informed the team that EMS was fifteen minutes away due to an accident and construction detour blocking their route. Looking up at the faces of his teammates Sam saw that this news aggravated the entire team, with the exception of himself. Sam would be happy if EMS never showed up.

As he lay on the floor quickly regaining control of his body, he realized the team needs to focus on the job not stare at him until EMS arrives. And he could really use a few minutes of alone time to start to push those agonizing memories back into that dark, thick walled place he contained all his hurt. Sam was good at deflection. Had to be given his past, so he took a tentatively deeper breath, flashed them all a huge grin and said with mock disgust "What, I can't nap in a bank either?"

His wild left field comment got the desired response from most of the team; several relieved laughs and smiles. Ed laughed deeply and then mock sternly replied "No Braddock, you are no allowed to sleep in a bank."

Sam's ability to sleep anywhere had been a running joke with the entire team over the last few weeks. Ed had found him asleep in some strange places during their break times and always joked about it and told him he couldn't nap there. The unacceptable nap location list was growing; bank floor had just been added.

Greg and Ed shared a look that communicated, 'he'll be okay'. Each of them at one point or another had taken a hit in the vest. It hurt like a mother but was usually fine in a few days if nothing was cracked or broken. Greg looked at his team and quickly did his normal assessment of each member's condition after an event like this. Everyone but Spike seemed pretty much settled back to normal.

Spike appeared to be really shaken by this, he'd talk later with him about it. For now though best to get everyone back to on task. He removed his hat and rubbed his head "Alright team, let's get back at it. Spike, I need you to stay with Sam until EMS checks him out." The rest of the team dispersed to take care of business.

Greg and Spike helped Sam to a seated position. Greg leaned down close to Sam and said softly "Good work Sam. I'm so proud of you and glad you are a member of this team. You connected in a way none of us would have been able to. Thank you. I know that was hard. If you ever want or need to talk about what you shared today, I'm here; we're all here for you." He rose and stepped away to give direction to the unit taking over the scene.

Sam appreciated the offer, but he'd never willingly talk about those things with anybody. It was too agonizing to let them escape. Those feeling were held tight in that dark prison he'd made for them.

Crap, 'let them escape', 'dark prison', he never used that terminology before. Was it a prison? Did those emotions want to escape? GET CONTROL NOW Braddock he yelled in his own mind. Now is not the time to try and sort this out. You are on the job. For now it is sufficient to think that you pulled them out because it was the only way to connect, to save others. How you put them back before they kill you will have to wait. What? 'before they kill you.' Aw man, this was gonna be harder than he originally thought to shove back down. He'd never thought in these terms before; harm yes but not kill.

He winced as another realization hit him hard, almost taking his breath away like the bullet to the vest. He'd done it again. Shit! Ed would be pissed if he knew. He'd taken what Ed referred to as 'unacceptable risk' again to save someone else. He sighed softly. Relived Ed wouldn't lay into him over this because Ed wouldn't ever know because this 'unacceptable risk' was a risk no one else could see.

Dammit, dammit, shit, and dammit again! The rookie did it AGAIN Spike fumed in his own head. He didn't think anyone on the team knew. Boss might suspect based on the talk only, he was intuitive like that. What Boss just said to Sam indicated he was holding out a hand but Sam would get to choose to take it or not at this point because Greg only suspected. Ed certainly didn't know or he would have laid into Sam already, injured or not.

Spike reasoned he was the only one that knew, truly knew without a doubt because he was the only one to see Sam's face as he spoke with John. Dammit, why was Sam always risking himself for others? Today Spike glimpsed a profoundly wounded soul. Today the risk taken wasn't physical but it was no less lethal.

Right now he had no idea how to help Sam. For now, all he could do was watch and wait and be the lifeline that caught Sam if he fell. He had been and still was utterly serious when he told Sam he would 'hold tight and never let go'.

Spike took a deep cleansing breath and plopped down to sit on the floor next to Sam thoroughly spent emotionally. "So what's the prognosis Dr. Braddock" Spike quipped trying to lighten the mood.

So engrossed in his own mental musings, Sam wasn't sure what Spike meant and just stared blankly at him. "Your injuries, ribs, shoulder?" Spike clarified.

Oh right, Sam got it. Spike watched as Sam began to probe his ribs and shoulder to determine the extent of his injury. He knew Sam was trained in medical self-assessment and treatment thanks to the Special Forces.

Sam knew his physical body intimately and how it reacted to various types of injuries. He had a mental catalog of every injury he's sustained and how long it took to heal. The bruising would be vivid; it always was even when it was a minor injury. The way he bruised always garnered horrified gasps from anyone who saw them. It sucked, they always looked worse than they actual were.

He healed extremely quickly, except for bruising. He also had a fairly high pain threshold; which was a good thing because he hated taking medication of any type. He'd rather deal with the pain then the loopy, out of control feelings pain meds usually caused him.

"Well, the patient is bruised but no real damage. He'll be sporting awesome shades of red, blue, black, purple, green and yellow over the next week or so. He might be a little sore and stiff, no need for meds. I release the patient for active field duty, effective immediately" Sam replied as he looked at Spike with an assessing gaze.

Spike snorted with laughter and said "Can't wait to see the awesome colors. Your bruises are always spectacular."

Good, thought Sam, I've got him laughing. Sam could tell something was bothering Spike. Whatever emotion he was feeling showed easily on his face; so unlike Sam's own controlled mask. There was clearly something bothering him and Spike needed something to do, to focus on, to get outside his own head.

"What do ya say we get out of here and head to the command truck? I need a change of scenery" Sam suggested. "I can wait for EMS there. I know Sarge won't let me get away without them checking me out at least on site" he sighed.

Spike hopped up and then offered a hand to Sam. Sam took it and rose slowly to his feet a little shaky at first. Without having to say anything Spike was immediately at his side providing stabilizing support. Sam took a step, faltered a bit, but Spike was there at his side steadying him; not letting him fall.

"Thanks" Sam said.

"Anytime" Spike responded.

* * *

**_Outside _****_Central Bank - 11:15 am_**

They slowly made their way to the command truck and arrived just as EMS parked next to it. Good timing Sam thought. The paramedic had Sam sit in the back of the ambulance while he checked him over.

The paramedic had grudgingly given Sam an all clear even though he had wanted Sam to get x-rays to be one hundred percent sure there was nothing cracked or broken. Sam's insistence that he was okay and mentioning his JTF2 medic training got the paramedic to back off and agree to clear him.

Sam was just about to put his shirts back on as Jules walked up. She started to ask how he was, had gotten out "How's our guy, is he ..." when her eyes landed on his chest. Whatever it was that she had intended to say never left her mouth. Her eyes widened in shock and her hand flew up to cover her gaping mouth.

Sam understood her reaction and hurriedly pulled his t-shirt over his head and down. Jules had never seen his scars. They were faded now but still visible and it disconcerted most people when they saw them.

He desperately wanted to redirect her thoughts and quickly. So he plastered a cheesy seductive look on his face and said in his best cocky guy voice "Well, well the sexy sniper chick finally gets to ogle my awesome body Spike. Ya think she likes what she sees?"

Spike instantly picked up on what Sam was trying to do so and chimed in with his best nerdy-boy high pitched voice "Nah, you muscular, he-man brute types don't interest her. She'd rather ogle this sleek Italian stallion".

Christ! Did they just say what I think they said Jules thought? She swiveled her head back and forth between the two of them with an incredulous look on her face. She then pinned them each with a 'you are dead look' before she spun around and stormed away.

Sam and Spike looked at each other with mock horror and fear and said simultaneously "You're in trouble now dude." "Me?" "Yeah you."

Then they both broke down in a fit of laughter, until Sam clutched at the pain in his chest and started to cough. Spike patted his back lightly. As his coughing eased and pain receded, they stared at each other. They were truly amazed they'd said the same exact words at the exact same time. Then they broke into another fit of laughter. Spike silently thought, this is good, laughter heals the soul.

Jules knew exactly what those two had just done for her and loved them for it. They'd given her a reason to exit in anger. Instead of standing there fumbling with other emotions brought on by seeing those scars for the first time.

Especially, since raw pain of what Sam shared still hung heavy around them all. Oh god, it was just so horrible what Sam had gone through. She mentally braced herself, now was not the time to time dwell on those thoughts. So, over the headset she responded angrily "You two are soooo in trouble; you better watch your backs."

The other guys on the team had heard the entire exchange and soft chuckles were heard. Deep breath in and out, better now, Jules slowed her pace to a walk and headed over to where Sarge was located. She had SIU to deal with.

Greg piped in "Behave children, you do realize you're all still on the auto-scripter. HR might be stopping by to conduct sexual harassment and sensitivity training if you're not careful."

Laughter exploded again, this time from every single member of the team drawing curious gazes from those around them not privy to the all that had transpired.

When the laughter died down, Sam's mind wandered back to the workout this morning when he realized that he was truly and deeply happy that his chosen family had accepted and cared for him. This call and his teammate's actions and reactions were tangible proof they were a family and affirmed Sam's feelings. A quirky smile flittered onto his face as he finished buttoning up his uniform shirt and walked towards Sarge. He still had SIU to deal with from the previous call.

Kendall Stevens was a seasoned SIU agent who had recently transferred from Ontario to Toronto. She had heard from several of her fellow agents that Team One was the best. This was her first time on a call with them. Her co-workers were absolutely right; this team was good, very good.

Courtesy of an earwig that allowed her to hear but not communicate to the team she had watched and listened to this latest byplay among the team and delicately smiled. She could see they were the best because they truly cared. They cared about the hostages, they cared about the subjects and they cared deeply about each other.

Kendall was glad that she was the agent to get this call. She knew she has a special kindness about her and always treats subject officers gently when investigating them. She is fair and balanced and bristles at procedures that don't treat the officers like they are human. Those procedures actually tick her off and she is happy to ignore them when necessary.

She had arrived on scene just as the team started to enter the bank. She watched in awe as the team seamlessly worked and sadly listened to everything Constable Braddock said. So today when Constable Callaghan had basically thrown the Remi to her in her desperate run towards a fallen teammate, Kendall had backed off and completely ignored the 'take them before they talk to anyone' procedure.

They were all on auto-scripter so all the real details were recorded anyways. She had simply observed from a respectful distance. Giving the team the space needed to take care of one of their own after such an emotionally fraught call.

They are human, and they put their lives on the line every day to save strangers. Watching Callaghan cradle Braddock's head in her lap and gently stroke his hair before she knew if he was dead or alive had touched Kendall's heart. The way the entire team responded impressed her. They care for and are fiercely protective of one another; that was clearly evidenced today. Kendall was so relieved when she found out the young officer was alright.

Jules, Sam and the Kendall arrived at Greg's location about the same time. Kendall introduced herself "Sergeant Parker, my name is Kendall Stevens, SIU. I need to take Constable Callaghan in for interview. I can also take Constable Braddock with me if he has been cleared for duty by the EMTs, as I understand he needs to be interviewed for a prior call."

"Sam, what's the word from the EMTs?" Greg queried.

"All clear, just bruising and little soreness to be expected" Sam answered.

Greg scanned Jules and then thoroughly scrutinized Sam making his own assessment of their status before saying "We are all done here, the units have taken over. So okay, you two head off with agent Stevens and we'll see you both back at the barn. We have a couple of tough debriefs to get through as a team."

Sam and Jules nodded in acknowledgement.

The three had just turned to head towards the agent's car when Winnie's voice called out "Team One. Hot call, armed robbery in progress at Bennie's Gas Station."

Greg blew out a harsh breath "Copy that Winnie. At this rate today is gonna be a long one."

He fixed his gaze on agent Stevens "Sorry agent Stevens, interviews will have to wait. I need Sam and Jules for now."

Greg waited for Kendall's nod of acknowledgement then turned and hurried away saying "Winnie, details please."

Jules and Sam shared a glance that communicated 'saved by the bell', as they both gave a quick nod to agent Stevens and then turned and jogged to their SUV.


	6. Hot Call 3 Bennies Gas Station - Noon

**Hot Call 3 - Bennie's Gas Station**

* * *

**_Enroute to Bennie's Gas Station - 12 pm_**

"Ed with me" called Greg as he approached the SUV. Greg needed a moment to talk with Ed privately before the team arrived at the next call.

"On my way" Ed responded as he sprinted to Greg's location. The team paired off and headed to the remaining vehicles. Jules jumped into the driver's seat and Sam in the passenger seat of one. Wordy and Lou took the last SUV and Spike headed over to the command truck.

"Winnie, a gas station robbery is usually a patrol unit call not SRU territory. What makes this one ours?" asked Ed climbing into the driver's seat. He knew calls were not routed to SRU unless they met a certain criteria, but this one had sounded so ordinary that he needed the full details.

Winnie replied "Yep usually, but this one has six young kids, ages three to five as hostages. According to a unit on scene a daycare van stopped to fuel up on its way to a zoo trip. One of the chaperons thought it would be nice to let the kids pick out their favorite snack for the ride and took them inside to select their items. Right after that the subjects entered demanding the cash. The cashier refused and things went downhill from there. Currently, there are two subjects and eight hostages, unknown if anyone is injured. That's all the details I have here."

"Thanks Winnie. Let the on scene units know our ETA is about ten minutes" Ed said then glanced at Greg. Greg motioned for Ed to mute his headset as he proceeded to mute his own. Ed turned his off "What?"

"Ed, we've had two intense calls. Need your assessment of the team's readiness before we arrive" Greg responded.

Ed thought for a moment "Well, you, me, Wordy and Lou appear fit to go. Spike's a little shaken. Based on his reactions to Sam getting hit, I think he saw something the rest of us didn't in that last call. He had cameras at all angles. He's good to go now, but you should talk to him about it later."

Halting a moment to focus on shifting lanes to go around traffic Ed continued "Jules, well she's angry with herself that Tom got the shot off that hit Sam. Also saw those dammed scars of Sam's for the first time. That had to be upsetting. Still remember when we all saw them for the first time."

Ed shuddered and Greg nodded knowingly agreeing "But she has already pulled it together and is back in professional mode. She's good to go."

He was quiet a moment as he considered Sam fitness status. "Sam, wow what a morning our rookie has had. Neutralized a subject, shared some private and horrifying memories to help someone and gets shot in the vest. All that and he can still have the presence of mind to tease Jules helping her through a bad moment and have a good laugh with Spike. I will say I'm impressed with his resilience. I'd be inclined to say he is fit for duty ..."

When Ed hesitated to continue, Greg interjected "I hear a 'but' there. And I concur with all you've said. I often worry that even strong resilient ones such as Sam can take only so much. I understand where your hesitation is coming from. But we need to go cautiously here."

Greg checked his PDA as it vibrated indicating Winnie was feeding him current information then he said "Sam's a protector at his core, we've discussed that before. He copes best when he is active. When we force down-time on him he gets restless. I think that is when he is most vulnerable to emotions he has not yet processed. Working helps him process those emotions and put them in the proper places."

Both contemplated what each other had said then Ed suggested "For this call we put him in the truck with Spike. Have him focus on tactical analysis away from the potential for lethal action and negotiating. He may be a protector but he needs protecting too. Give him a little space to breath and process things before throwing him back to full action."

Greg approved of the idea. The two of them usually had much the same read on each of the team members. It felt good to have his assessments validated via his team lead's assessments. They worked well together, effortlessly filling in each other's shortcoming thus making a stronger leadership team.

Wordy and Lou started to have a similar conversation but quickly it veered off track. Lou had initiated it motioning for Wordy to mute his headset and doing the same. "So, you think Sam is okay?" Lou asked smoothly.

Wordy needed no time to respond since he had been thinking about Sam's state since closely watching the mirrored emotion in John's face as Sam talked. Wordy answered "He's wounded beyond what any of us even imagine."

That drew a quick look from Lou but he had miss-interrupted Wordy's meaning. Lou said "But the EMT cleared him. They wouldn't do that if he was injured. Sure he'll be bruised. Man, he does bruise so intensely, it's a bit scary. I can't get the image out of my mind of that first bruising I saw, scared the shit out of me when I saw it. You remember? It was the day after we did all the hand to hand take down drills. You had him act as the target for all of us, take down after hard take down for hours."

Wordy laughed "Yeah. I remember that. Had him be the target because he was so damned good at getting out of every maneuver I could think of. We learned a lot from him that day. He never looked winded and barely flinched on some of the hard throws you guys landed or when we practiced using pressure points to disarm and take down. I think we got schooled in only a portion of what he really knows."

Lou stated "Yeah, I learned a bunch. Remember all the razzing we gave him the next morning when he joined workout wearing a long sleeved shirt and sweat pants instead of the sleeveless shirts and shorts he normally wears. He just said he was cold but he sweated like a pig that morning. We all gave him more shit when came out of the shower area fully dress and ready.

Wordy injected "Then we had that call where you and Sam had to climb into the huge garbage container to pull out that kid. You guys stank and Sarge ordered you back to shower and change. None of us was willing to get into a truck with either of you."

Lou grimaced remembering "God that was an awful smell. Something like skunk meets rotting fish with a side of vomit. Uuugh. I was at my locker already half-dressed when Sam rounded the corner with just a towel around his waist using a small wash cloth to towel dry his hair."

Chuckling Lou said "I scared the crap out of him when I suddenly yelled, HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU! He jumped back about three feet and slammed into the locker behind him. He looked around to see who I was yelling at and then back at me confused when he didn't see anyone else. I was just staring at him my mouth hanging open."

"It looked like his body had been used as a paintball gun target. His torso, arms and thighs were covered in bright red, blue, and purple hues. It finally registered with Sam what I was talking about and said, 'oh that, it's nothing, just a little bruising from yesterday's training' and moved to his locker to dress."

Wordy was laughing at the recollection and added "The rest of us had just gotten back and Sarge, Spike, Ed and I ran into the locker room to see what the commotion was. The four of us stopped dead in our tracks when we saw him."

"Remember Ed's reaction? He went ballistic. Didn't believe in the slightest when Sam said it was nothing and he wasn't injured. Ed threatened to relegate him to the truck for a week if he didn't let the EMTs check him out. That's when Sam got pissed and said 'Dammit Ed, I just bruise vividly, it is nothing. Looks awful but nothing hurts. I'm okay. If I beat you in the tactical course will you believe me and drop it?"

Lou was laughing now too "I think Ed regrets agreeing to that. He was hard to live with for a while after Sam bested him in the course by fifteen seconds and broke his long standing record for the course by five seconds."

They smiled at the memory and then quieted a bit as they were approaching Bennie's Gas Station. They turned on their headsets and shifted into job mode.

Over in the SUV Jules and Sam shared the headsets were muted too. As they neared the gas station, Sam was busy begging Jules for a power bar. She was having a good time teasing him, pay back for the comment early.

Their banter had started just after they got into the truck. Sam was sitting quietly and somewhat meditative if Jules had to put an emotion to it. Then out of nowhere there was a loud growling sound.

Jules snapped her head towards Sam "What the hell was that Braddock?"

"Just my stomach" snorted Sam. "I woke up late and didn't get to eat breakfast today. Only had the coffee the guys brought today."

"It sounds angry, better feed it. Why did you wake up late anyways?" she asked.

"Would if I could, and because I was sleeping" replied Sam.

"Don't you pack power bars? And that's a stupid answer, I ask why you were late not what you were doing" she countered.

In the past few weeks they had started to banter like this. Anyone listening to them might get lost with the multiple conversations within the same conversation but they never did. It was like a small mental calisthenics session.

But unrealized either they each had an ulterior motive. For Jules she was trying to get a handle on how this guy ticked. He was so different from any guy she'd known, which made him intriguing.

For Sam, he liked saying things that got her hackles up. There was a fire in her sable eyes and a flush to her cheeks when she was slightly pissed that made her so sexy and desirable. He couldn't stop himself from doing it.

"Took care of the most important thing only before I left, and no it's not a stupid answer it was because I was sleeping" Sam retorted.

"So what's more important than food? And yes it is a stupid answer, that's what you were doing, not why you were late" Jules said.

"Brushing my teeth and no that wasn't what I was doing. It was why I was late" Sam countered.

"So you think brushing teeth is more important than food. Explain you answer. We are going around in circles" she said.

"Yes they are more important, because I couldn't WOW you with my smile without my pearly whites now could I. I was late because I fell asleep unexpectedly before setting my alarm. So the cause for me being late was I was sleeping" he explained.

Secret target bulls-eyes achieved by both. For Sam the 'wow you with my smile' comment garnered a flashed glare from Jules that said 'get over yourself and never in your dreams'. He gave her a lopsided grin as he relished the fire in her eyes.

For Jules his explanation for being late clarified that he went directly to a base root cause not one several layers up. Most people would have said I forgot to set the alarm, but the root cause for not setting the alarm was that he was already asleep. Interesting.

His stomach roared again and the begging commenced. He hadn't had time to replenish his stock of power bars in his bag. Sam knew she kept some too so he begged her to give him one. She should have just offered him some but it was too much fun to see how he would try to wheedle them from her.

Just before they arrived, she grabbed two from the door pocket and tossed one to him with a smile. A muffled thanks though a mouthful of power bar was heard just before they exited the truck.

Jules laughed as she noticed that he'd actually shoved the whole bar in at once. He must be really hungry, he's used a ton of energy in the past seven hours and it doesn't look like they'll be getting a break any time soon. She planned to eat the second one herself but as an afterthought said "Hey soldier, think fast" and chucked the bar to him.

Sam gave her a huge smile that showed off his pearly whites as he caught the bar. She ducked her head as she headed to the command truck so he couldn't see that, yes, that smile did in fact, WOW her.

* * *

**_Bennie's Gas Station - Exterior Front_** **_\- 12:10 pm_**

The team with the exception of Greg converged at the command truck, which Spike had parked near the rear of the gas station, to determine their plan of action. Spike was already at the computer trying to pull up camera footage to try and identify the subjects. They were completely blind to who they were dealing with at the moment.

Ed started to layout the tactical assignments "Due to the kids in there we need to go less lethal and no flash bangs or CS gas. Spike's working on eyes in to find where the hostages are located. Sam I need you in the truck studying those blueprints and finding us options for getting in undetected if possible. Jules we need info about the subjects and hostages. Boss is getting current status from the units on site. Lou and Wordy, make sure the units have the perimeter secured and get those news crews back further."

A chorus of "copy that" and all proceeded to their assigned tasks.

Greg started feeding them information "According to the unit on site, at least one of the subjects appears to be high on drugs, behavior is erratic. The second subject is behaving less erratically. They have been holed up in there for twenty minutes now."

Spike got access to the station's cameras. They were fixed in place and not movable and didn't give full view to the interior. There were several blind spots. The most concerning spot was the one by the back door. There was full view at the front of the short hallway which also had the bathrooms. But if someone was in the bathroom already they could slip to the back door unnoticed. Spike located the hostages. Sam studied the blueprints and noted several options for entry depending on where the hostages and subjects were located.

"They have grouped the kids together near the candy case just left of the hall. The jittery subject is covering the kids and is armed with a semi-automatic pistol. Calmer subject has a rifle and has the cashier and chaperon behind the counter on the other side of the store. Sam's is pretty sure it's a single shot hunting rifle. Why would they separate the adults and kids?" pondered Spike aloud.

"Good question" intoned Greg. "Anyone have any ideas why?"

"Maybe they don't think they are a threat and are content to just eat candy, since they placed them next to a fully stock candy counter" offered Lou.

"Tactically on their part it is smart. Doing so makes our entry options more difficult. We have to cover two areas instead of one. Also, if an adult is not keeping the kids calm they may panic and bolt into the line of fire. They might know that limits our entry options" Sam said.

"Agreed. Sam, see if you can determine an entry plan based on this intel" Ed simply said.

Sam reviewed many options and no scenario was good enough. He was not happy. There were too many variables when kids were involved.

Greg looked at Ed and said "So, we really need a talk solution. Any progress yet on identities of the subjects?"

"Still running facial recognition on the images we got from the cameras" Spike said.

Jules started sharing details she gleaned from her interviews "Wendy Glines, the daycare chaperon outside has given me names and pictures of the kids involved. I've sent them to you Spike. We have one five year old girl Ava Clarry, four four year old boys, Gary Burns, Todd Olsen, Kenny Rescher and Paul Vorhees and one three year old girl Sara Clarry who is Ava's little sister. The chaperon inside is Gayla Fines. The cashier is Lonnie Beam."

"Wendy says the boys are very rambunctious. It is hard to keep them still for more than thirty minutes. Sara has asthma so we definitely cannot use CS" Jules finished sharing the info she had obtained.

Sam finished assessing the blueprints "Hey Ed, I've got one or two possible entry scenarios. None of them are ideal, too many factors. Also determined there are no clear Sierra positions."

"Plan A seems to be the best bet and would require two to enter the front door to contain subject one who is with adults. To contain subject two who is with the kids, one us us would need to do a drop entry from the ceiling vent and two enter from the back door. Again no plan is ideal, there is a high risk the kids will get spooked no matter what entry plan we use. It would be best if we can talk them out" Sam shared.

"Hey Boss we just got ids on the subjects from facial recognition" Spike said. "They both have fairly long criminal histories. Mostly petty robbery and smash and grabs at computer and jewelry stores. No record of use of weapons in previous incidents. This one appears to be different from their usual. They have been involved in many crimes together. Our calm subject is Chance Bigalow and the jittery one is Ted Jitters. Wow that's funny, what are the odds of that?" Spike smirked.

Greg grabbed the megaphone and called out to the station "My name is Greg Parker with SRU. I'd like to talk with you. I'm going to call the gas station number, please pick it up so we can talk."

The team all breathed a small sigh of relief when Chance actually answered the phone and began talking with Greg. He learned that Chance did not really want to rob the station with guns. Chance preferred to just smash and grab. But Ted had wanted to try it for fun.

Ed was proud of his team, it was amazing how fast the team had worked to pull together the intel and develop a plan. They'd been on site for less than ten minutes. He decided to position the team based on Sam's plan. It was going to piss Sam off but he was going to stay in the truck.

He doled out the assignments "Lou you're with me Alpha team entry thru the front for subject one. Wordy, Spike, Jules you are Bravo team. Wordy and Spike entering from the rear for subject two. Jules, entering via the vent since you are small enough to fit. Sam you're in the truck on the cameras. Need you to inform us if anyone moves."

A chorus of 'copy that' sounded thru the headsets as everyone moved to comply.

Sam wanted so badly to object. He bit the insides of his cheeks to keep from mouthing off. Why was he benched? He'd been cleared for duty by the EMTs. It was his plan yet he was relegated to just watching.

Was Ed questioning his abilities? He didn't even put him as backup on the back door. He could feel his anger rising. Why the hell was I benched? Spike was always in the van. He's the tech/bomb guy. I'm sniper/tactical.

He started pacing back and forth in the truck. That pissed him off to because it was a confined space, only three steps each way. He hated confined spaces.

Greg was continuing to talk to Chance. In the few moments he was pacing angrily Sam failed to notice that Ted was escalating and the kids were getting antsy and moving more.

Ed could hear Sam's pacing through the headset. Sometimes the kid was loud; usually when he was angry. Ed would give him a few more back and forth paces. He knew Sam need to burn off the anger at being benched.

He was damned sure that Sam would interpret this as a lack of trust in his abilities. Ed hated to do that to him but it was for his own good. Someone had to watch out for Sam too. Ed was also sure that if Sam did discern the real reason it would still piss him off. Ed heard when Sam finally dropped back into the seat.

Sam recognized immediately what his anger had cost the team when he looked at the monitor. God dammit he'd screwed up. "Ed, subject two has moved to behind the kids instead of in front of them. I can only see five kids now. Sara is no longer in camera view" Sam firmly said.

"Where'd she go?" Ed asked.

"I messed up. I didn't see. I missed it" Sam said with self-loathing dripping from every word.

"Keep scanning Sam let us know if she comes into view" Ed replied.

Well this is just wonderful, Ed thought sarcastically to himself. His attempt at protecting Sam had just backfired one hundred fold. He should have told Sam to sit down immediately when he heard him pacing. If anything happens to the little girl Sam will blame himself. Hell, I'll blame myself too. How fucked up can this day get.

About fifteen minutes later, Sam said loudly over the headset to get their attention "Ed, Boss! Ted has just grabbed Kenny and is shaking him hard."

"Chance, what is Ted doing to Kenny?" Greg called.

Chance replied "Ted don't, god Ted, he's just a little boy. Leave him alone. No, no, you don't want to do that …"

Sam's voice urgently and loudly cut over Chance's "Ed you gotta go NOW. Ted is gonna kill Kenny."

"Go, go, go" Ed gave the order as the sound of a gunshot reverberated through the air.

Two teams instantly move into action.

* * *

**_Bennie's Gas Station - Inside_**

Alpha team moved in quickly. Ed and Lou stormed through the front door weapons raised. Directing them at Chance as they yell 'SRU drop your weapon', 'drop your weapon now'. Chance was startled. The cashier and chaperon screamed.

Ed moved quickly towards Chance as Lou covered him. "Drop your weapon now and put your hands up, on your knees now" Ed commanded. Ed grabbed the rifle and handed it off to Lou then cuffed Chance.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, oh god I think he shot the kid. I'm sorry" Chance kept repeating in broken sobs.

The cashier was shaking terribly and still screaming. Lou approached her and placed a hand on her shoulder and said "You're okay, you're okay now." The chaperon overcome at the thought of Kenny being killed directly fainted. Lou barely caught her and gently lowered her to the floor.

Bravo team had entered at the same time as Alpha team. Jules kicked out the vent cover and fast lined to the floor landing just behind the kids. Weapon raised yelling "SRU weapons down" and scanning for Ted and checking the positions of the kids.

At the same time Jules dropped down, Wordy and Spike stormed through the back door. They headed towards the candy section with weapons raised yelling "Police drop your weapon" as they scanned for Ted and the kids.

Ted was not visible. He was no longer where he had been a split second before entry. Four little kids sat huddled together crying. One little boy, Kenny was crouching in the middle of the aisle screaming at the top of his lungs. Three year old Sara was not among the kids.

It took Bravo team mere seconds to enter and take in all these details. Instinctively they divided the tasks at hand. Jules was closest to the huddled set of kids. She moved in to cover them until Ted was located. Spike moved towards Kenny.

Wordy started scanning for Sara and Ted. "Subject two location unknown, one hostage location unknown" Wordy informed the team.

Spike dropped to his knee next to Kenny and started looking for the wound they expected to be there. He checked all over and did not find one, nor did he see any blood on the floor. "Hostage unharmed. No harm to Kenny" Spike said with a huge sigh of relief.

Wordy caught a flash of movement at the rear door. "Subject on the move, has hostage, exiting rear, in pursuit, could use some backup" Wordy yelled as he ran after Ted and Sara.

* * *

**_Bennie's Gas Station - Back Alley_**

Sam heard Wordy and exited the truck at top speed to provide backup to Wordy. "Wordy got your back" Sam said coolly as he easily sprinted to catch up to Wordy in the alley behind the gas station.

The two of quickly ran in the direction Ted took with weapons raised and ready. They rapidly cornered Ted. There was no outlet in the alley. Ted had nowhere to escape.

In his drug induced frenzy, Ted wildly looked for an exit. When he couldn't find one he turned to face Wordy and Sam with Sara held tight to his chest, facing outward. He was using her tiny body as a human shield. His other arm, the one with the gun, twitched uneasily at his side.

"You let me leave or I swear I'll blow her brains out" Ted yelled as his gun arm jerked violently.

Sam instantly took in all details as he scanned the area. Sara was a tiny slip of a thing with long, blonde hair and big green eyes framed by golden lashes. There were no tears in her eyes and she was very quiet. She was wearing a pink and green polka sun dress with a pink bow in her hair. Ted had his arm crushed around her little waist trapping her against his chest.

Sam was drawn back to Sara's little face. Big green eyes locked onto deep blue eyes. Innocent soul meet suffering soul. Trust shone brightly in her eyes as she smiled sweetly at Sam. Her thin little legs were dangling down and Sam noticed she was missing her _shoes_.

Sam's heart suddenly shredded into small, sharp, shards as the memory smashed savagely into his head.

SWEET. SMILE. SARA. SAM. SCREECH. SCREAM. SLAM. SILENCE. SHOES. SORRY. SAVE. SOLUTION.

BANG!

Three bodies crashed to the ground.

Ted was dead.

Sara was saved.

Sam was screwed.


	7. Aftermath Hot Call 3

**Aftermath Hot Call 3**

* * *

**_Beanie's Gas Station - Inside_**

As Wordy ran out the back door in pursuit, the team heard Sam say "Wordy got your back" and trusted that those two could handle the situation in the alley. The rest of the team was dealing with the bedlam going on inside the gas station. They needed to contain a distraught subject, soothe five very frightened crying children, calm down an extremely hysterical cashier and get medical help for an overwrought chaperon who had collapsed.

As Lou squatted next to Gayla checking her pulse, strong but fast, he called out "Boss, I need EMS in here now Gayla has collapsed."

Greg was making his way in and could not hear what Lou had said due to loud hysterical screaming in the background "Lou, repeat please."

Lou swiveled to peer at the cashier. He stood and placed a hand on her shoulder, applying slight reassuring pressure. "Lonnie, calm down, shhhhh, it is okay, you're okay, quiet down, please" he said in a smooth calming voice.

Once Lonnie had quieted enough that Greg could hear him Lou repeated "Boss, I need EMS in here. Gayla has collapsed. Her pulse is way too fast."

As Greg and the EMTs were entering and heading towards Gayla, Ed was trying to get the distraught subject on his feet. Ed needed to place him into custody of the uniform officers outside but the man would not rise.

Chance kept blubbering "I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt anyone, I'm sorry."

Ed was getting a little frustrated. He had a gut feeling he needed to get to the alley with Wordy and Sam but couldn't do so until he handed Chance off to the unis. Ed snapped out "Kenny is fine. Get up now. On your feet. Let's go." Finally, he got the subject up and was escorting him out to the unis.

At the same time as Lou, Ed and Sarge were handling their issues, Spike and Jules were trying to get the kids settled down. They needed to get them outside to be checked out by EMS and into the arms of their anxiously waiting parents who had arrived on scene. Ava had clamped tightly to Jules leg and would not let go. Kenny was still bawling but no longer screaming bloody murder as Spike cradled him in his lap and rocked back and forth slightly. The other three boys had ceased crying and were nervously hovering very close to Jules.

Jules gazed down to Ava with compassionate eyes and softly said "Ava, it is okay sweetie." She glanced at the boys "You all are okay, you are safe now, shall we go see your parents?" With that Ava reached to be picked up and Jules scooped her up into a tender embrace, gently stroking the little girl's blonde curls. Spike stood with Kenny still ensconced safely in his arms as the seven of them started for the front door.

BANG!

Five heads jerked up and eyes widened in shock as the sound of a gunshot ricocheted loudly in their headsets.

"Wordy? Sam? Status?" Greg urgently called quickly rising from where he knelt next to Gayla. He rapidly headed towards the back door of the station and the alley.

Silence.

* * *

**_Beanie's Gas Station - Exterior Front_**

Ed's gut feeling was raging now "Guys, status!" Ed snapped harshly as he approached the patrol officer who would assume custody of the subject.

Silence.

"STATUS NOW!" Ed roared as he handed Chance off to the patrol officer.

The patrol officer flinched at the ice-hard tone, steel set jaw and lightening flash in the SRU officer's eyes that dared anyone to defy his command. He briefly thought damn he's scary, I'm glad I'm not whoever it is that didn't respond. They're gonna get a big-time ass chewing.

Silence.

Ed spun on his heel and stormed toward the alley.

* * *

**_Beanie's Gas Station - Back Alley_**

Ed and Greg skidded to a halt at the end of the alley taking in the perplexing scene before them. Ted was dead, bullet through the head. Sam was unconscious on the ground with little Sara clinging to his chest sobbing. Wordy was on his knees, hands laying limp on his thighs, head shaking slightly back and forth with unfocused eyes and a dazed expression on his face.

"What the hell happened?" bellowed Ed looking from Wordy to Sam to Ted.

No response.

Greg and Ed looked at each other apprehensively. Something bad, very bad, had just occurred. They just didn't know what yet with neither of their guys responsive. They had to get control. "Ed I've got Sam and Sara you deal with Wordy."

Ed moved closer and placed a hand lightly on Wordy's shoulder "Talk to me buddy."

Mind in a fuzz, eyes unfocused, he finally found his voice and whispered "Sam shot Ted?"

Ed recognized it was a question not a statement "Wordy, you okay? What happened?"

"Sam shot Ted" this time statement not question.

Wordy was trapped in his own head with disordered thoughts swirling around still not fully comprehending. Sam shot Ted. If Sam shot Ted, why is Sam on the ground? Why? It doesn't make sense. Why is Sam lying there?

Ted's dead, I know that. Ted is dead. Hey that rhymes. What? Why is Sara holding Sam? Why is she crying? She's so tiny, helpless. How did she get to Sam? Ted is dead. Only one shot fired. Only one shot. It came from Sam I'm sure. Am I sure?

Why is Sam not moving? Is he dead? Only one shot I'm sure. Sam shot Ted. No talking just shot. Oh god he just shot him. Just aimed and shot. Why did he do that? Why? Ted shot Kenny? Ted is active shooter. Sam shot Ted.

The confusion just continued to swirl in Wordy's mind.

Greg had immediately knelt down and checked Sam's pulse. It was steady but fast; probably due to adrenaline. There was a bit of blood next to his head, not much. He lightly probed Sam's head and found a slight lump and a very small cut on the back. Minor but would likely give him a headache.

He could find no other injuries, no bullets to the vest, nothing. He must've fallen. The fall must have knocked him unconscious. But how did he fall? Sam needed to be checked out but first Greg needed to calm Sara and get her safely away from this scene.

Slowly shaking his head Wordy repeated again "Sam shot Ted."

Spike, Jules and Lou all had heard what Wordy kept repeating and wondered why Sam didn't say anything. Spike and Jules were still very busy with the kids but Lou was now on his way to the alley.

Arriving he stopped dead in his tracks. Shit, this is not good he thought. Greg and Ed were busy with Wordy and Sam so he went to check Ted and secure the weapon that was lying on the ground. He looked at Sam then Wordy then calmly said "Spike we need EMS in the alley. Sam is unconscious and Wordy is on his knees dazed. Unsure of injuries."

Greg lightly placed a hand on the back of the tiny sobbing girl. She lifted her golden head and looked at Greg with tears running down her face. "It's okay, will you come to me?" Greg asked quietly.

Sara shook her head no and held tighter to Sam. "Please." Another shake no. "It will be okay, you are safe now." Sobbing increased as she held tightly to Sam shaking her head no. "Please. I can take you to your mommy." No again but more vigorously. "Why don't you want go?"

"Safe" a tiny voice said.

"You feel safe with Sam?" softly asked Greg.

"Safe" and a vigorous shake no as the sobbing continued.

Greg was baffled. He thought her one word meant she felt safe with Sam. What else could she mean? She was only three, how do I understand what she needs?

During this exchange Ed had placed his arm around Wordy and was trying to get through the haze to him. "Buddy, come on. Shake it off. Wordy look at me. Where are you man? Focus on my voice. Talk to me."

As Ed continued to speak Wordy's eyes began to focus coming back to the present; mind regaining control exiting the haze. He gave his head a sharp shake and blew out a ragged breath. Then Wordy took a deep cleansing breath and exhaled; completely returning to the present, mind crystal clear now.

He looked directly at Ed with ferocious determination carved into his face. A look that could be read as a father protecting his young and stated in a rock-hard, clear voice filled with conviction "Sam saved Sara."

That was not at all what Ed had expected his long-time friend to say. It threw him off balance. "Sam saved Sara?" he repeated back to Wordy questioningly.

Wordy nodded firmly and with conviction stated "Yes!" then abruptly stood up walking toward Sam.

When he reached him he knelt down and stroked his hand through Sam's hair and said in a fatherly voice "It's okay. She's safe. Sam you saved Sara. Wake up. It's okay now. Sam you saved Sara."

Wordy was shocked by his own actions. He wasn't sure what drove him to react this way but he had a gut-wrenching feeling it was very important that Sam know this. Sam needed to know Sara was safe.

Sara was crying quietly now but still hanging onto Sam as hard as her little arms would allow. Quietly repeating "safe" over and over.

Greg needed to know what happened. There might be a clue in it for him to help this little girl. He could forcefully remove her from Sam but that might cause more trauma. So for now he would let her be with Sam.

At that moment Spike came over the headset "Guys, EMS is still pretty backed up, dealing with all the kids. I will send one as soon as possible."

Greg replied "Copy that Spike. Wordy is good, back with us now." They exchanged a quick glance and smile "Sam's still out cold but appears to be only a minor head wound so have EMS focus on the kids."

Spike responded "Copy that Boss."

All knew something significant had happened. Otherwise Sam would not be unconscious on the ground with no apparent injuries. Something caused him to collapse. They needed to understand the facts before they could begin to figure out what needed to be done. Ed and Lou now stood behind Greg all three looking expectantly at Wordy hoping to understand.

"So, tell us what happened" prompted Ed.

Wordy started reciting the facts as he knew them to be "Sam caught up to me just after I exited the back door. We both ran flat-out after Ted. Ted held Sara to his chest facing outward. Sam and I boxed in Ted. There was no place for him to go as you can see. No exit. Sam and I were positioned where we could see each other. I was over there."

He only had to point out his location because Sam and Ted were still in their original positions. "Ted turned around facing both of us but more directly at Sam using Sara as a shield. Ted was solidly in red-zone when he knew he was surrounded. There was a frenzied look in his eyes. Body movements were jerky and unpredictable. I noticed Sam scanning, assessing the tactical options; you know that calculating look that comes across his face" Greg and Ed nodded. They knew the look well.

"Then Ted yells 'You let me leave or I swear I'll blow her brains out.' Sam and Sara locked eyes for a few moments. This sounds really weird, but to me it looked like two souls conversing. It was so intense. Their gaze broke as Sara smiled so sweetly."

"I was transfixed by her smile but I noticed Sam looked slightly down. A fraction of a second later he fired. It all happened so fast. We didn't even get to identify ourselves or tell him to drop his weapon" Wordy stated.

Greg and Ed shared a look that said 'this could be a problem with SIU'.

Wordy continued "Sam must have seen some movement or threat I missed in that split second before he fired. Maybe something that indicated that Ted was going to shoot. After all Ted had already fired inside the station."

Greg and Ed sighed in relief and communicated silently 'SIU problem adverted, Ted was an active shooter.'

"Ted lost his grip on Sara as they both fell to the ground. Then Sam was on the ground with Sara sobbing on top of him. It stunned me. I only heard one shot. My mind got lost for a bit trying to figure out how Sam could be down when there was only one shot and how or why Sara was on top of Sam and crying. That when you guys showed up I assume" Wordy finished and looked between Greg and Ed still a bit bewildered by it all.

As Wordy was finishing, Jules and Spike approached after ensuring the five kids were okay and safely with their parents. Jules looked down at Sam concern written in her eyes then over to Sarge "Boss, the unis have taken over the scene for mopping up. EMS is still busy, probably another ten minutes or so."

Greg nodded trying to sort it all out in his head. This call had gone from good, to bad, to weird.

Wordy looked down at Sam troubled "I still can't figure out what dropped him."

Spike knelt down and placed a supportive hand on Wordy's shoulder as he scrutinized Sam's face and the quietly crying girl clinging to him.

Just then Sam's eyelids started moving. He was struggling to open his eyes. He groaned in pain as his hands clenched into fists and released several times. Then his right hand reached out like he was holding something. It jerked suddenly and dropped limply to the ground like he'd lost hold of it. He was starting to regain consciousness, the team sighed in relief.

Relief was fleeting and turned to alarm when Sam started whimpering and mumbling "Sara no, oh god, please no, her shoes, sorry sir, my fault, no Sara, Sara, why not me, hurts, Sara, no no, don't leave me Sara, don't go, oh god not her, take me, sorry sir I failed, did not protect her, it jumped the curb, just gone, didn't save her, all my fault, couldn't, didn't save her, sir, no, no, sorry sir, hurts, no, no, sir, pulled her away, no, no, hurts, sir, hurts, sorry sir, no no, her shoes, no shoes, shoes sidewalk, no, no, sorry sir, don't, hurts, no, please stop, hurts, no crying allowed, yes sir, didn't protect, my fault, all my fault, hurts, she's gone, no no no."

They all exchanged horrified expressions and were completely immobile. Sam was stuck in some god awful memory or nightmare.

Sam's eyes flew wide open as he screamed at the top of his lungs "SARA" in a voice filled with abject desolation. He stilled completely, eyes wide open staring straight up into the sky but not really there.

What happened next was beyond belief. Tiny little Sara lifted her head and scooted her body so she could look directly into Sam's eyes. Locking her teary eyes with his vacant ones; seemingly searching for something. She was whispering the word 'safe' over and over to him in a soothing lilting little girl voice.

Sam blinked, once, twice, three times. He registered he was on the ground on his back. Then lovely green eyes were locked onto his deep blue ones. A soothing little voice was repeating 'safe' to him.

He blinked again; innocent soul comforting suffering soul. She was safe. He was safe. Tears welled in his eyes spilling unchecked. Muscular arms wrapped gently around a tiny slip of a girl and held her close in a protective embrace.

"Safe" Sam whispered lovingly.

"Safe" whispered back a little blonde haired girl with innocent green eyes as she kissed his cheek.

Both closed their eyes and sighed as she laid her head on his chest and placed her little hand over his heart. "Safe now" she whispered one last time before drifting to sleep in his arms.

Silence reigned. Minutes ticked by but no one dared move a muscle. Afraid to shatter the sanctuary the little girl built for their friend.

Sam's eyes blinked opened again. He looked cautiously at each of them in turn, locked eyes with them, searching for something. Searching for what they didn't know. But whatever he found seemed to comfort him because he sighed as a serene look settled on his face and he soundlessly mouthed "thank you."

A kindhearted fatherly look appeared on Wordy's face as looked at Sam and gently said "Safe".

Each team member, in turn, gazed at Sam and quietly said "Safe."

They all remained motionless and silent for several more minutes. Each was mentally processing what had occurred and contemplating the meaning as they regained their composure. By unspoken agreement no one commented on what had transpired. Whatever it was that happened had been truly cathartic for Sam, it showed in the respite that now reflected in his eyes.

Ed moved first. Drawing everyone's eyes to him as he adjusted his stance to one of authority. Then a hint of mischief entered his eyes and a wide grin appeared as he said sternly "No napping in alleys either Braddock."

Sam grinned and replied "Copy that." He started to rise cradling a sleeping Sara in his arms. Six pairs of arms reached out to help him up.

* * *

**_Beanie's Gas Station - Exterior Front_**

It was an impressive sight for onlookers when seven SRU officers in full tactical gear rounded the corner out of the alley. Flanked by three officers on each side a handsome young officer gently cradled a sleeping little girl in his arms. They strode forward with purpose and conviction towards a distressed young couple who were consoling another young girl.

Spike, Jules, Lou, Ed, Wordy and Greg stopped a few paces back from the girl's parents. Sam approached the young mother and carefully placed the sleeping girl into her waiting arms.

Sam leaned in close to her and spoke so only she could hear. "If she ever asks, please tell her Sam Braddock is safe because of her. Sara has a beautiful soul. Thank you."

He stepped back slightly. He smiled down at Sara. Reaching out he stroked her hair lightly. Sam leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and whispered "Thank you Sara." Then he turned and strode towards the command truck with his team, his family, surrounding him.

As they approached the command truck, Jules and Spike each grabbed one of Sam's arms and redirected him towards EMS. "What?" he said.

Jules gave him a stern look "You were out cold for several minutes. You need to be checked out before going with SIU."

Sam allowed himself to be steered towards the EMS truck and sat on the edge of an empty gurney. He disliked having to be checked out by EMS. He was okay, only a small bump and headache. But he disliked SIU more. So he wouldn't fight it now and enjoy a small reprieve before having to discuss two shootings with SIU.

As he sat waiting for the paramedic to come, his mind was mulling over what happened in the alley. He knew the team was wondering just what the hell happened. They would not force him to explain, he knew that from the searching looks he gave them. Knew that they would respect his privacy but he didn't want to hold this secret in. He hoped when he told them they would not condemn him too harshly.

Sam decided that after debriefing tonight he would tell them about how he failed to protect his little sister Sara. How he was responsible for her death. How when he noticed that little Sara Clarry had no shoes on the horrible memory of his Sara being violently wrenched from his grasp as she was hit by the car so hard she was knocked right out of her shoes slammed into his brain.

He would tell them how in that instant he could not allow tiny, sweet Sara Clarry to be killed by Ted. How he was glad, truly glad for once that his reaction time was so fast. How if he hadn't seen in that fraction of a fraction of a second Ted raising the gun towards her head, Sara would be dead.

And he would tell them how if that had happened Sam feared that he would have been irrevocably lost and broken. They were his chosen family. They deserved to know. He would trust them with this memory and to keep him safe.

Sam was drawn from his thoughts as the paramedic started asking him questions. As the medic did his thing, taking vitals and such Sam distractedly watched the scene around him wondered at all the news cameras. Must be a slow news day to cover a gas station robbery he thought. He saw as Greg and Ed approached just as the paramedic completed his assessment.

The medic reported "No concussion, disinfected the small cut, no need for stitches. No concerns regarding the small bump on the head, though it might be tender for a bit. Offered pain meds for the slight headache but he refused. In my opinion he is fit to return to duty."

Sam slid off the gurney and glanced at the paramedic "Thanks." He turned to Greg and grimaced "So off to SIU now?" he queried.

"Team One, Team Five, all hands on deck, Team Three needs backup now" Winnie sounded off in their headsets.

"What's the situation?" Greg asked.

"Team Three on scene in Rouge Park, responded to shots fired call. They are reporting apparent gang war in progress. More than a dozen active shooters dispersing in multiple directions" Winnie explained.

"Team One in route. Call in any of available members of Team Two and Four as well. With so many active shooters and the size of Rouge Park we will need all available officers" Greg commanded as all members of Team One raced to the vehicles.

Unknown to the team, SIU agent Richard Donner glared furiously at the back of Sam Braddock and silently fumed "I'll bring that cocky son of a bitch down a notch or two. He doesn't deserve to wear an SRU uniform. He's nothing but a killer."


	8. Hot Call 4 Rouge Park - 3 pm

**Hot Call 4 - Rouge Park**

* * *

**_Enroute to Rouge Park - 3 pm_**

"Winnie, Team One ETA twenty-five minutes. What is Team Five's ETA and were you able to recall any of Team Two or Four? I'll be switching to channel three in a moment to coordinate with Sergeants Winter and Cray. The rest of Team One will remain on channel one" Greg said as he entered the SUV.

"Sergeant Cray says Team Five ETA is fifteen minutes. Was able to recall most of Team Two but only Aaron and Frank of Team Four are available. The rest are out of town due to their rotation for a full week break. ETA for all them is about twenty minutes" Winnie replied.

"Copy that, switching channels now" Greg replied.

As Sam reached the truck and swung open the door to jump in he was surprised to see a large brown bag on the seat. He grabbed it and swiftly got in. On the outside of the bag written in bold black marker was _**'Proper Care and Feeding of Samtastic'**_.

He gave Jules a quizzical look as he thought, 'what the heck is this?' and opened the bag. Inside he found a large sandwich, two energy drinks, half a dozen power bars and three bottles of water. Also two aspirin tablets with a note from Ed that said _'take these now Braddock, that's an order'_.

Sam grinned and said "Aw guys, thanks. When did you get this?" He was truly touched by the caring gesture. He was hungry so he quickly took a huge bite of the sandwich. His head and chest did still hurt, not that he would ever admit that to anyone. So complied with Ed's order and downed the aspirin with a swig of the energy drink.

"We had a chance to grab something to eat while you were getting checked over by the medics. We thought you might like something too since you think brushing your teeth is more important than eating breakfast" Jules said glibly.

"Yeah well, priorities. Just sayin" Sam replied as he gave her one of his WOW smiles then took another huge bite of the sandwich.

A few minutes later Jules glanced over and noticed that Sam had managed to inhale the sandwich, two powers bars and down an entire energy drink. "Impressive" she smirked.

"What?" he queried, opening a third power bar and another energy drink.

"How do you eat that fast?" she asked.

"Training." Jules looked at him confused so he continued "In the field, never knew when the next meal would be or how long I had to eat. So it was either go hungry or develop the habit to eat as much as I could as fast as I could when the opportunity presented itself."

"Wow, you've got skill; could probably win an eating contest." She smiled at him but was thinking sadly to herself 'he's had too much practice with that' as he was downing the fourth power bar. He tucked the remaining two into his vest and opened a bottle of water.

They were about ten minutes from the scene when Ed said "Hey Samo, I want you to join the tactical planning session. I think your special ops experience and your tactical assessment skills will be valuable in developing a plan in this environment."

"Copy that" Sam responded a little shocked but pleased that Ed had asked him. Things had gotten better between them in the past few months but to have Ed acknowledgment of his abilities like this felt really good.

Damn, today was turning out to be a major study in contradictions Sam thought. The wide emotional swings from the highs this morning with the sense of profound happiness, belonging to a family, and making a difference to the gut wrenching lows that came with memories of Matt, his time as a POW, his sister Sara and taking lives was screwing more than a little bit with his head.

He needed to put all that in a box and deal with it later because right now he had a job to do. A gang war in acres and acres of woodlands, over a dozen active shooters; this was going to be exhausting. So he closed his eyes, leaned his head back against the seat and concentrated on breathing slowly, mentally preparing himself.

* * *

**_Rouge Park - On Scene - Command Post - 3:25 pm_**

Team One was the last to arrive on scene. Greg, Ed and Sam headed directly to the where the other sergeants and team leads were converged defining the tactical plan. The remainder of the team geared up then quietly walked over to where the other SRU officers had assembled.

They were broken into small clusters engaged in various conversations. Wordy, Jules, Spike and Lou stopped just behind and slightly away from a group of three younger officers. Still lost in their own quiet contemplation mentally clearing the slate and gearing up, they were slow to register the conversation taking pace until they heard Sam's name.

"What the hell is Braddock doing with the TLs, he's the newest rookie to SRU and has no business being there" Aaron said harshly.

"No idea, maybe the cocky ex special ops guy thinks he knows more than our experienced TLs" joked Brett.

"Haven't met him yet but heard Lane is always pissed off at him for not following orders and taking risks. Maybe Lane's just keeping him on a short leash" said Frank.

"Could be. A buddy of mine over in Afghanistan said he heard that Braddock was just a pretty boy all show and no go. That daddy pulled strings to get him into JTF2 in the first place. He said that no unit wanted him. Braddock was constantly getting transferred to new units" Aaron gossiped.

"To get into JTF2 you have to be pretty damned good. Who's his dad and how could he influence that?" Frank asked.

"His dad is General Braddock, aka General Badass. JTF2 is under his command. My buddy also said Braddock was kicked out of JTF2 under a cloud. All hush, hush and covered up but something about him fucking up big time and killing one of the guys in his unit. Shot him in the back. Bet daddy was pretty disappointed to have such as screw up for a son" Aaron said disparagingly.

"Damn, can't be true. They wouldn't let him join SRU if it were. Right?" Brett asked.

"I think his daddy arranged it with Commander Holleran so the General could save face and say his son left JTF2 to join the elite police team. Don't know how Team One stomachs it. Having someone like that forced on them. They had no say in it, just had to accept him. I wouldn't trust him" Aaron sneered.

The team was pissed to overhear Sam being bad mouthed in this way. It wasn't lost on them that they were hearing things that they had once thought or said. But Sam was now one of their own. A proven and valued member of their family and it angered them.

They had to remind themselves they were all professionals and that now was neither the time nor the place to get into a pissing match to set them straight. They had a job to do. They all needed to work together. That didn't make it easy to hear and they would definitely set it right at the proper time.

Wordy decided the best way to stop it for now was to make their presence known. So he cleared his throat loudly. The group turned slightly and saw a group of SRU officers staring at them with varying degrees of hostility and disgust displayed on their faces. Brett and Frank looked embarrassed to be caught disparaging a fellow officer in this manner but Aaron had the gall to smirk back at that them.

At that moment Greg addressed all the officers "Alright listen up everyone. We have two rival gangs in play here, it is a turf war. The Crimson Eagles headed by Pedro Basto controls over a third of the drug and arms traffic in the GTA. The Jackals, are a fairly new Russian gang, headed by Radoslav Yegorovich. They have been moving into Crimson Eagles territory and undercutting them. Radoslav is in custody and said that his gang was lured here and ambushed by the Crimson Eagles. Basto was sighted on scene earlier. Guns and Gangs would really like to take him in alive if possible."

Sergeant Bailey of Guns and Gangs interjected "Be warned Basto is one nasty dude and will not hesitate to kill. He was a middle weight boxer before he rose in the gang's ranks and he is an expert marksman. He staged a coup killing the top ten leaders of the gang and took over the Crimson Eagles about three years ago. He personally killed four of them but was able to get off due to technicalities."

Greg continued "You are to use extreme caution, the gang members are armed with a variety of assault weapons. Goal is to apprehend but given the risk presented, you are authorized to use lethal force if necessary. Don't take any chances. This will be no walk in the park. Ed what's the plan?"

Ed took over "Based on what we know we are looking for fifteen subjects. Three are from the Jackals and the rest from the Crimson Eagles. Sergeants Parker and Winter will coordinate from the command post and communicate between the teams using channel one. We will break into six teams of four and each cover a designated section. Each team has been assigned a channel for team communication. Your Team Leads will give you further instructions. Aaron and Frank, since the rest of Team Four is not here, you will join with Team One today."

The teams separated to review plans for their sections with their Team Leads.

Team One along with Aaron and Frank huddled up. Ed outlined the plan for Team One "Wordy, Lou and Spike you are with me, Alpha team, section five, channel five. Sam is Bravo team lead with Jules, Aaron and Frank, section six, channel six."

When Ed was done Wordy, Lou and Spike all exchanged a quick look with Jules that said 'watch his back'. They didn't see the look that crossed Aaron's face. If they had they would have spoken up then and there.

* * *

**_Rouge Park - Section Six - 6:30 pm_**

Team One Bravo team had been proficiently clearing their assigned section for the past three hours looking for any sign of the subjects with no luck. It was taking a long time given the rugged terrain in their section. They'd be losing light in a while, that would be bad, tracking at night was near impossible and the subjects might be able to slip away.

"Jules, switching to channel one for status check in. Back in a second. Hold up and take a quick break" Sam notified his team.

"Copy that" Jules responded. "Hey Frank, hold up while Sam's checking in" stopping herself to grab a quick drink of water and a bite of a power bar. This terrain was quite a workout, up and down constantly and she'd needed a little energy boost.

Jules smiled thinking how Sam had insisted she take one of the two power bars he'd shoved in his vest when she found she was out. Said he owed her two from earlier. He'd given the second one to Frank when he was looking rung out. Frank tried to say no but Sam insisted with a lopsided grin saying he didn't want to explain to the boss if allowed Frank to drop from hunger.

Motioning to Aaron to stop Sam switched to channel one "Boss, Team One Bravo checking in. Quadrants one, two and three have been cleared; moving into quadrant four now. What's status on number of subjects located?"

"Copy that. Total located eleven. Basto is still at large. Leaving four still out there if intel was correct" Greg responded.

"Copy that. Switching back to channel six" Sam said. He pulled out his water bottle and took a quick drink.

"Team let's move out, four subjects still to find. Basto is still at large. Let's move. Aaron take point again" Sam commanded.

"Why should I?" Aaron sneered.

Sam nearly rolled his eyes and wanted to snap at the man but said calmly "I'm lead and that's my order. Got a problem with it take it up with Ed when we get back. Until then zip it. We have a job to do."

Jules was pissed that Aaron kept up his bad attitude towards Sam, questioning him at every turn. It grated on her nerves. She was beginning to wonder how the guy had passed the psych portion of the qualification.

She also didn't like his sophomoric comments when he asked her to take point but kept her mouth shut. She was glad when Sam switched up partners. She was not sure why he did but the phrase 'keep your enemies closer' popped into her head. Jules was ready to deck Aaron.

Frank was regretting the earlier conversation with Brett and Aaron. Sam was nothing like what Aaron had described. He was damned good at tracking and tactics from what he could see.

He also knew Jules reputation, she did not suffer fools and if she respected someone it meant they were damned good. Her interactions with Sam indicated that she truly respected his abilities. He was also tired of hearing Aaron's shit. Couldn't he see he'd been wrong?

Frank knew Aaron was hard headed but until now he didn't think he was stupid and blind. Sometimes Aaron had a lot of trouble letting go of a preconception. Frank needed to have a conversation with the Team Four sergeant. He was ready to deck Aaron.

Aaron was pissed. He didn't think he could put up with this cocky SOB much longer. It wasn't too bad when he had been paired with Jules. At least she was hot looking especially her ass. He asked her to take point because he was better at covering the rear; she was stupid and didn't even bite at the innuendo.

In his opinion, they were moving too slow. If he were in charge they would have finished clearing this section an hour ago and be back at the command post resting instead of trekking through the woods. He wanted to deck Sam.

Sam's patience with Aaron was surely being tested. He could put up with his arrogance and bad attitude. He was used to it from the military experience. But he drew the line at actions that put the team at risk.

The first action that crossed that line was when he'd noticed that Aaron leering at her ass when Jules was on point instead doing his job covering her back and scanning for threats. It was absolutely and unequivocally unacceptable behavior. Sam would not put Jules at risk like that. So he'd switched up teams.

Aaron's constant refusal to follow routine tactical procedures was worrisome too. So Sam had decided to put him on point, ahead of him so he could keep an eye on him. Whatever the issue he had it needed to be dealt with. Sam wanted to deck Aaron but decided the best course was to talk to Ed about it after the call was completed.

Bravo team was just cresting another ravine when Jules called "Sam, I think I see movement in the small clearing ahead."

They stopped as she and Sam surveyed the clearing. Three subjects were sitting on large rocks in the clearing.

"Team hold, take cover. Jules send the coordinates the Boss." Sam whispered and switched channel one "Boss, Team One Bravo. We have a visual on three subjects in a small clearing. Jules sending coordinates. Confirmed one subject is Basto."

"Copy that. Switching to channel six with you Sam" Greg replied and both switched to channel six.

"Jules, you and Frank go around left. Jules find a Sierra location. Frank provide cover. Aaron and I will approach from the right" Sam commanded.

Jules quickly found a suitable location and asked "Sam, which subject is my target."

Unseen to Bravo team, Damir and Miro members of the Jackals gang were crouched behind a grouping of small trees and had been closing in to kill Basto when they saw the cops. Two cops had moved into a position a few yards in front of them while two others were still circling around the other side of the clearing. Damir and Miro hated cops with a passion; more so than Basto. They decided to kill the cops first, then deal with Basto.

Sam stopped to scan the clearing and the three subjects to answer Jules question. He was about to answer when he saw a flash of light reflected off metal behind Jules and Frank. He instantly found the subject gun aimed at Frank's head.

He urgently said "Down now. Shooter behind you" as he took aim and fired a fraction of a second later. Sam saw Jules and Frank drop to the ground and did not hear any additional shots but urgently called "Status?"

"No harm" came from Jules and Frank.

"Subject neutralized" added Jules as she quickly turned and checked Damir. No one saw Miro quickly slip away.

Basto and his two guards were alerted by the shot. Two took off running while the third sat with a scared look on his face frantically looking all around. Sam ran in pursuit. Aaron raised his gun, shot and wounded one of the guys running away then ran after Sam. Frank and Jules converged on the men in the clearing.

Still unseen by anyone, Miro took off in the same direction as Basto and the cop pursuing him. He'd kill them both.

"In pursuit of Basto. Jules situation in clearing?" Sam called.

"Frank has one subject contained, one subject requires EMS, applying pressure to wound to lower back. Aaron on your six" Jules communicated.

"Copy that. Hey Jules, Basto must be part rabbit, damn he can move fast" Sam said with a laugh. "Boss, Basto, his two guards and the unknown shooter makes four subjects which brings the total to fifteen. That's all of them according to the intel right?" Sam queried.

"According to the intel. Yes" Greg replied.

"Good, let me just get Basto then Spike can guide me out of here. Taken so many twist and turns not sure where I'm at anymore" Sam joked.

"Samtastic you couldn't get lost even if you tried. But I got your back. Transponder emitting signal" Spike said.

"Go careful Sam. Remember Basto is dangerous" Ed chimed in.

"Got it Ed. Napping in the forest is off limits too" Sam quipped.

"Sam, I'm serious. Got it! Go careful, no unacceptable risks. That's an order" Ed sternly said.

"Yes sir, copy that" Sam replied only slightly winded.

Aaron was falling further behind. He just could not keep the same pace. It pissed him off that he was breathing hard and that cocky SOB was talking and joking all the while he ran flat out. Within five minutes he'd completely lost visual of Sam and Basto. "Lost visual of Sam and subject but following their trail" he panted out heavily. He stopped to catch his breath for a minute or two then started to slowly jog again.

Sam smiled as Basto started to slow down unable to maintain the pace he'd set. He was ready to end this and get the guy into custody. They were starting to lose the light. Sam called out loudly and firmly so Basto could hear "Police, SRU stop, stop now."

Basto was in top shape and usually left everyone in the dust when running. He was breathing heavily now. As he continued to run he thought, damn, I get a fucking robo-cop on my tail, he's not even winded after running flat out for fifteen minutes. I'm not gonna fucking out run this guy. He suddenly stopped, turned, raised his gun and fired at Sam.

Sam reacted with instinct, ducked his head as he launched himself in the air for a flying tackle. The bullet hit Sam in the arm. Sam hit Basto squarely in the chest.

Hearing the gunshot Jules called out "Sam status."

The force of the tackle sent them over the edge of a short but steep ravine. Bodies slammed into branches and rocks all the way down. Sam and Basto were sprawled on their backs at the bottom of the ravine both trying to get their breath. There was a deep, bleeding gash over Sam's right eye.

Basto recovered first. Straddling Sam's legs Basto slammed a fist into Sam stomach. Sam gasped for air. Basto rained punches on Sam's ribs. He slammed Sam's head hard to the ground twice.

"God damned cop" Basto huffed out.

Sam lay dazed unable to answer the frantic calls for status coming from his still attached headset.

"You're dead cop" Basto sneered as he climbed a short way up the ravine to retrieve his gun he had lost on the tumble down.

Sam's head was clearing as he regained his breath.

He rolled over and dragged himself to his knees sitting on his heels.

Sam swiped away the blood obstructing and blurring his vision as he drew his sidearm from the holster.

Basto grabbed his gun from the ground and was turning to aim at Sam.

Sam was raising his gun towards Basto preparing to fire as blood dripped into his eyes again.

Aaron appeared at the top of the ravine and yelled "SRU drop your weapon" as he pointed it at Basto.

Miro appeared just to the right of Aaron gun aimed at his head and yelled "You're dead cop."

Basto looked at Miro surprised.

Sam wiped the blood out of his eyes.

Miro fired.

Aaron dropped.

Sam fired.

Miro dropped.

Basto and Sam fired.

Basto dropped.

"Officers down, need assistance" Sam said and dropped.


	9. Hold On & Really, Really FINE

**Hold On &amp; Really, Really F.I.N.E.**

* * *

**_Rouge Park - Command Post_**

Sean was beat. He and the other members of Team Five, Randy, Brett and their Team Lead Carl had finished clearing their section and arrived at the command post about fifteen minutes ago. They were now seated around one of the small tables that had been setup for the teams. They were drinking coffee and munching on sandwiches that had been provided. Just then Dale walked up with a plate of food and a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Hey good to see ya man. How was your stint with Team Three? We missed ya out there. Not gonna lend you out again soon" Sean said in greeting.

Dale who was a member of Team Five but had joined Team Three to create a four-man team replied "Good. We got two subjects in our section. You?"

"Well we, got one in our section, just a kid really, gave up easy. I guess that makes the total count eleven now. Only sections four and six to finish clearing. Pull up a chair buddy you look wrung out" Sean answered Dale.

"Thanks" Dale said as the guys made room for him at the table and he sat down. "Not looking so good yourself. Today has been hell. I don't think any of us or the guys from Teams One or Three want another one like it soon. We all went from call to call. I'm hungry and exhausted."

Sean agreed "Yeah been a hellava day. But learned some new maneuvers though."

"What ya mean?" asked Dale.

"Well, Carl here had us doing some crazy shit out there" Sean replied. "Carl, been meaning to ask you where that came from."

Carl looked up from his coffee and said "Braddock."

"Braddock?" questioned Brett.

"Yeah that guy sure knows tactics. Was real helpful with coming up with today's plan" Carl replied.

"Kinda thought he might when I saw him with you guys" offered Dale. Four guys stopped to stare at him.

Brett spoke first "Why did you think that Dale?"

"Because he's had lots of field experience. It was nice seeing him looking so well for once. Almost didn't recognize him like that. Been meaning to say hi and reintroduce myself but we've been so busy since he joined SRU. Doubt he would actually remember me though" Dale said.

"You know Braddock?" Sean asked.

Dale answered "Sort of. Saw him a lot when I was an MP stationed at an outpost in Kandahar several years ago. I only talked to him once but given his state at the time I doubt he'd remember me. He looked like death warmed over when I met him."

Taking a quick bite and swallowing Dale realized they wanted him to explain further. He added "I'd only been in the camp for two days and was on my way to the mess tent. I rounded a corner and saw this guy on his knees struggling to pull himself up onto a crate next to him."

"I went to help. Grabbed his arm and helped him sit on the crate. He was covered in dust and grime, looked like he had just come back from days out in the field. Braddock looked up at me and mumbled thanks. Man, he was pale and looked like he was gonna pass out" Dale said as he shuddered a bit at the memory.

"So I asked him where he was headed. He said the mess tent. Told him that's where I was going too. He just nodded his head a bit and took a slow breath in. He was in bad shape so I asked him if he needed help. He just stared at me with a look of 'why the fuck would you care'. Shook his head no then stood. He took several shaky steps before getting his footing and headed into the mess. I followed him" Dale continued.

"This huge hulk of a man, never knew his name, that worked in the mess took one look at Sam and steered him to a table and sat him down. I went to get my food when I saw the guy return to the table he put Sam at. He had a plate loaded with food for him."

"The mess was pretty full and the table Sam was at was empty except for him so I went and sat down. Never seen someone eat so fast. After he finished the first helping the hulky guy was there with another plate. He told him to eat but slower this time or he would be sick" Dale recalled.

"Midway through this plate of food, Sam told me his name and quietly asked who I was. I introduced myself and we spent the next quarter hour in conversation. Well that's not exactly right. I spent the next fifteen minutes talking. He just sat listening and slowly eating. I told him I was almost done with my tour and getting out of the military police but was planning on returning here and trying to get into SRU. Then I told him all about the SRU."

Becoming a little subdued he said "As he finished his second plate of food this guy comes running up to him a worried look on his face. The guy was about my height, had brown hair and green eyes. The exchange between them was cryptic and so intense. It was so intense I remember it like it was yesterday."

"He came to an abrupt halt at the table and immediately wrapped his arms tightly around Sam and hugged him for a full minute, maybe more. When he released him as he tilted Sam's face to his, stared directly into Sam's eyes and said, 'Blondie, hold tight, I'm here! How long?' Sam replied 'seven'. The guy asked 'how bad?' Sam replied so quietly I barely heard 'thirty-two'. The guy wrapped his arms around Sam tightly again and whispered 'remember beauty of life'. Sam nodded once."

"Then the green eyed guy called out to four guys that had just entered the mess 'found Blondie, seven and thirty-two. Move now!' Three of the guys rushed to get food and water, one hurried to the table. They placed Sam's arms around their shoulders and walked him out of the mess; closely followed by the other three." Shaking his head slightly Dale said "Never did figure out what the numbers meant. Some code for their unit I assume."

"Anyways, saw him around the base often but never had a chance to talk with him again. He always looked like crap, like he'd just come in from the field. Units would roll in and out. He was always there and he'd join up with them. That was strange, must be a JTF2 thing."

"That first set of guys, the ones from the mess tent, seemed pretty protective of him though whenever they were in camp. Through the grapevine they said he was always in demand for his skills. Always in the field and always assigned to the extreme missions. I don't doubt it." Dale finished as Team Five sat in silence absorbing all Dale had shared.

The group of five SRU officers at the next table had stopped talking when they heard Sam's name mentioned and had listened intently to every word of Dale's tale. They exchanged shocked looks with each other. They had no words, none at all. They were completely dumbfounded.

Their thoughts were interrupted when Sarge said "Copy that. Switching to channel six with you Sam" as he motioned for the rest of Team One to switch to channel six and mouthed 'Basto'.

Dale leaned over to Wordy and asked "What's up?"

"Sam's team has located Basto" Wordy replied.

Team Five switched to channel six to listen to the exchange also. They all quickly muted their headsets so sounds around them would not interfere with Sam's team communications. Everyone listened to the action taking place in section six.

They tensed when they heard a shot ring out. Relaxing when no harms we called out. Non-Team One officers laughed at the Samtastic nickname and were perplexed about the napping comment but thought it was funny. Team One sure had an interesting dynamic.

Everyone tensed again at the second shot and no response from Sam. Then the sounds of someone getting the crap beat out of them. Sergeant Parker, Ed, Wordy, Spike and Lou were on their feet now tightly pacing wanting so badly to do something. Distress was clearly written on their faces. All frantically calling for status from Sam.

They stilled and became quiet when unknown voices said.

"God damned cop."

"You're dead cop."

There was slight relief with Aaron's voice saying "SRU drop your weapon."

They tensed again when a new voice said "You're dead cop."

Then all hell broke loose when they heard four shots in rapid succession and Sam's labored voice say "Officers down, need assistance" followed by dead silence.

An uncontrolled emotional outburst erupted from Team One.

Ed roared "God dammit NO! Sam status. Report now that's an order" as he flipped a table on its side sending the contents flying in all directions.

Wordy threw a chair and yelled "Shit, shit, shit, shit."

Spike hollered "Hold on Sam, hold on, not letting go" as he slammed his fists on a table.

Lou threw his coffee to the ground and shouted "Fuck no."

Heard but unseen was Jules in the clearing putting more pressure on the subject's wound and cried out "No, no, no, Sam respond. Sam answer me dammit. SAM."

Greg was silent his face contorted in anguish. He ripped the hat off his head and with as much force as he had threw it to ground. Then tightly clenching and unclenching his fists he tried to get control of his emotions.

Sounds so soft they were nearly missed cough, hiss, uugh, cough, aragh, hiss, moan.

"QUIET" shouted Greg pinning a stare at his guys. "Sam, Sam is that you?"

"mmmh" barely audible.

"What's your status?"

hiss, gasp, argh, cough, ooww

"alive" faintly whispered

"Injuries?"

"lots" softly

"Hold on buddy we're coming. You just stay with us okay."

uugh, cough "k" aragh, hiss, moan

"We heard Aaron. Do you know his status?"

gasp, "dead" hiss, moan

"Subject?"

"dead" cough, hiss "and dead" uugh, cough

"Do you mean two subjects neutralized Sam?"

"yes … Boss? …" cough

"Yeah Sam."

hiss, moan "Tell Ed … sorry … gotta …" cough, hiss, aaaargh "… nap … now"

"Sam you hold on. Help is on the way. Hold on buddy we're coming. You just stay with us okay."

Silence.

While Greg was talking to Sam the rest of the SRU officers went into high gear organizing what was needed. Team One would focus on getting their injured teammate. The remaining teams would take over the rest of the scene including getting EMS to the wounded subject, securing the scene of the shootings, and taking care of Aaron's body. There was shock and grief at Aaron's loss but the priority right now was saving an injured teammate.

Spike had pinpointed Sam's location. Over land would take more than an hour which was too long. Ed had arranged for a police helicopter so that Ed, Spike, Rollie and Dale could fast line to Sam's position. The helicopter would get them there in thirty minutes. Once there Ed and Spike would handle the extraction plan for Sam. Rollie and Dale would secure the scene until additional officers arrived over land.

* * *

**_Rouge Park - Section Six - Clearing_**

In the clearing, Jules had finally gotten the bleeding under control on the subject and he was stable. The wound was painful but not life threatening. EMS would trek in for him. She heard Ed say it would take thirty minutes to get to Sam.

"Hey Spike" Jules called.

"Yeah Jules" he responded.

"Do you remember Sam's comment about taking lots of twists and turns during his long run?" she asked.

"Yeah?" he said a thought beginning to dawn.

"Is there a direct route from the clearing to his position? If so, how far? I might be able to get to him in less time" she said hopefully.

"Great idea, why didn't I think of that. One second let me map it" he said quickly working the computer. "Jules, sending you the route. Depending on your speed you can get there in about ten minutes."

"Copy that" Jules replied. Frank assured Jules that he could handle both subjects until back up arrived and urged her to move to Sam's position. Especially since no one knew the extent of his injury and he was no longer talking.

Jules took off at a flat-out run calling to Greg "Boss, on my way to Sam. Frank has the clearing under control."

* * *

**_Rouge Park - Section Six - Ravine_**

Sam slowly stirred. He laid still, it hurt, it hurt a lot. Focus on breathing, control the pain he told himself. For several minutes all Sam did was focus solely on the in and out of his breathing, eyes closed not moving a muscle. Better.

Next up, he thought, injury assessment. Right arm burns, bullet wound, blood loss, partially why I'm fuzzy. Head hurts, possible concussion, cut above eye, a few bumps, lip stings. Chest hurts, vest in way can't check ribs properly. Deep breathe, painful but not searing, pretty sure nothing broken, maybe a few cracked, definitely bruised. Conclusion, nothing life threatening, just damned painful.

Okay next up, assess surroundings. Basto? Neutralized. Unknown subject? Neutralized. Aaron? Dead. In the woods in a ravine. Almost dark.

Now mental status. F.I.N.E. Really, really F.I.N.E. As tears fell from his eyes feeling the guilt and pain of Aaron's death fall heavy upon his shoulders and into his heart. He had failed again. Failed to protect Aaron. Failed to protect someone under his care. Failed to protect one of their own. Aaron's blood was on his hands. His team, his family would abandon him now. How could they not? That's the way it worked. He knows that is the way it always worked. He had ample experience on how it worked.

He failed to protect Sara. He lost his family that day. When they had gotten home the General had him stand at attention in the living room for hours. Yelling at him. Telling him how he had failed. That it was his responsibility to protect his sister. That he should have pushed her out of the way. That he was a total and utter disappointment. Telling him he was not allowed to cry, to man up. The General told him he wished that Sam instead of Sara was hit. From that day forward there was no family. No love. No acceptance. He was not worthy because he had failed to protect Sara.

He failed to protect Matt. He lost his unit brothers that day. After the reccy no one would look him in the eye. They blamed him. He blamed himself. He did not protect Matt. Matt always protected him. He should have seen it was Matt. He should have seen. His unit no longer trusted him. They no longer cared. They would not talk to him. He was no longer worthy of them. He'd killed one of their own.

Today he failed to protect Aaron. He would lose his team, his chosen family today. He should have fired faster. He should have seen the other subject sooner. Aaron was under his command, his protection today. He failed to have Aaron's back. His team could never forgive him. They would no longer trust him. It was his fault. He was not worthy to be a part of this family. He always failed to protect.

Pain both emotional and physical too overwhelming washed over and through him as his eyes slowly closed and he slipped into darkness.

Jules was panting heavily as she stopped at the top of the ravine. The sight that greeted her was horrific. Aaron lay at her feet dead, a bullet hole in his right temple from near point blank range. To her left lay an unknown subject dead with shot between his eyes. Half way down the ravine laid Basto dead, with another perfect kill shot to the head. But what made this scene truly horrific for her was the still form of Sam at the bottom of the ravine.

She quickly moved down the steep incline. She knelt next to Sam and checked his pulse. Alive, thank god. His face was covered in blood. There was a deep cut above his eye. There were multiple smaller cuts and abrasions across his face and his bottom lip was split. His right sleeve was covered in blood. He'd been shot. She checked and found the entry and exit points then applied a pressure dressing. At least they don't have to dig it out she thought. She didn't dare move him for fear of causing more harm to any unseen injuries.

"Boss. Found Sam. Alive. Unconscious but alive. Pulse a little thready. He looks pretty messed up. Injuries I can see are not life threatening. Applied pressure to gunshot wound in right arm, bullet went straight through" Jules reported.

"He's at the bottom of a steep ravine. By the looks of his face he fell down the ravine. Therefore, not moving him until EMS arrives in case there are internal injuries" Jules said her voice cracking with emotion. She could hear the concern of her team as they listened to her report by their gasps and sighs.

"Copy that. Ed and Spike are ten minutes out. A paramedic with rappelling experience joined them. Keep our guy safe for now. We'll be there to help soon" Greg said.

"Copy that" she replied. Keep him safe. That's what they had promised earlier today. He deserved to be safe. He was family. He was an amazing and selfless man who protected those who could not protect themselves, often at great risk to himself. She would do her best to keep him safe.

She adjusted herself so she could apply pressure and be able to gently stroke her hand through his hair. She realized that this was the second time today she had done that. It felt right, so right but she wished it was not in situations like these.

An image of his WOW smile entered her mind. God he was handsome. His blue eyes drew you in. He was intriguing too. Wonder what it would be like to kiss him? She checked herself. Where the hell had that thought come from?

She sighed. Today had been one for the record books. She could not remember one with so many highs and lows. The team was going to have one hellava debrief.

Sam was beginning to stir. Jules called to him "Sam, hey Sammy. It's Jules. Help is on the way. Hang in there. You are going to be okay. Can you open your eyes?"

He could but he was not going to. Sam was not ready to see the condemnation for his failure in his teammate's eyes.


	10. Small World & Found Blondie

**Small World – Found Blondie**

* * *

**_Rouge Park - Ravine_**

Sam remained still, keeping his breathing pattern slow not giving any indication he had regained consciousness. A skill he had learned many years ago and unfortunately had used often. He just wasn't ready to deal with the emotions. Jules was stroking his hair gently and there was a painful pressure on his right arm. He hurt; the pain in his chest throbbed with each intake of air.

Startled out of her thoughts when the helicopter dropped low over the trees Jules jerked. She lost her balance and her knee landed on Sam's chest.

Pain, hot and intense, radiated through his chest. Sam couldn't stop the gasp from escaping his throat or the grimace across his face.

"Sam, oh god I'm so sorry. Oh god. Are you okay? Sam? Sammy, oh god" Jules murmured to him feeling absolutely awful that she had caused him more pain.

He didn't hear. The blackness had claimed him again; blissfully taking him away from pain.

"Ready Jim?" Ed called to the paramedic as they prepared to rappel from the police helicopter.

"Ready, been a while since I've done it but it's a skill you don't forget" Jim replied as he adjusted the medic bag on his shoulder and rechecked his line.

Ed, Spike, Rollie, Dale and Jim rappelled down to the top of the ravine. They took in the overall scene then set to work. Ed, Spike and Jim raced pell-mell down the incline sending rocks and dirt flying ahead of them. Rollie and Dale crouched next to Aaron with sadden faces.

Jim was the first to reach Jules and Sam. He looked at the female officer's face and noticed tears; that indicated she cared about this guy. No duh, for the last thirty minutes on the flight here he'd listened to the four guys in the bird talking about this officer.

Two of them were especially anxious to arrive and ensure this 'Sam' person was okay. Apparently the man was important to them, more than just a teammate and they'd do anything for him. He'd known a few guys like that; engendered that feeling in others. There were two such guys Jim would willingly give his life for; check that, only one now, the other was gone now.

He quickly turned his attention to his patient. He had been informed of injuries they were aware of knowing they didn't appear to be life-threatening. So he took a moment to take in the position of the body looking for any obvious indications of trauma.

Yes 'the' body not 'his' body. It was important to remain objective in his line of work so he always thought in impersonal terms. He saw nothing indicating any broken limbs. That was good. He squatted down to assess the head injuries next as his vision shifted to the SRU officer's face.

"Blondie" was expelled on a faint wisp of air as shock coursed violently through Jim. He couldn't move as his mind processed the image in front of him. "No. Not Blondie" exploded Jim. His impersonal walls crumbled.

Ed and Spike were surprised by the paramedic's reaction. They quickly looked at each other and soundlessly mouthed 'Blondie'. Less than an hour ago they had heard Sam referred to as Blondie. Did the paramedic know Sam? Jules was just confused and thought what did the color of his hair have to do with anything?

Jim shook himself out of his stupor a second later. It was Blondie; it was him, here and hurt. Oh god, hadn't the poor kid been through enough already. Luckily his training took over and he immediately set to work assessing his condition.

Unfortunately he knew this body well. He did too many checkouts on it, stitched too many wounds and cleaned too damned many thin gashes. He knew what this body could handle, how it reacted to injuries, so he was worried that Blondie was unconscious.

"How long has he been out?" Jim asked Jules.

Jules started calculating in her head and replied "about thirty-five or so minutes since he has responded to anyone. Not sure if he was out the whole time or just unable to speak. He was definitely out when I got here about fifteen minutes ago. But it appeared he was beginning to come around until …" her voice trailed off.

"Until?' Jim prompted.

"Until just before you rappelled. I shifted and my knee knocked into his chest. He gasped and I could see his face wince in pain then nothing" Jules finished guiltily.

"Help me get his vest off, need to check his ribs" Jim requested. Silently hoping that it was broken ribs, those were easy to mend. They carefully moved Sam as they removed the vest. Jim cut open his shirt and started probing gently.

Blondie was covered in wonderful shades of red, blue and purple. A small smile crossed his lips. The kid always did bruise magnificently. Some bruising on his left shoulder was already turning blackish those had to be hours old, this wasn't his first injury today.

"Was he injured recently?" Jim asked already knowing the answer was yes but needing to know general details to fully assess his current state.

"Took a bullet to the vest early this morning; left shoulder area. Knocked the wind completely out of him. He was given the all clear by the medic that checked him out" Ed said staring at the badly bruised chest.

Spike added "This afternoon he collapsed and hit is head and was out for a bit. The medic said no concussion but he had a small lump on the back of the head. No one knows why he collapsed after he took the shot and saved little Sara. We think he might have had low blood sugar combined with the rush of adrenaline or something. He hadn't eaten today. Medic cleared him for duty then too."

"Yeah, I'm sure it was because he was hungry. You should have seen how quickly he ate the lunch we got him" Jules said.

Jim's probing wasn't finding what he had hoped for "Crap, not broken, wish to god they were broken" he said distastefully not realizing he had said it out loud.

Disturbed by the words and tone the medic used Ed asked with ice lacing his voice "Just what the HELL do you mean by that?"

"What?" Jim looked up at Ed caught off guard by the question and tone. He registered a set jaw and a fierceness that conveyed 'I can kill you'. He scrambled in his head to figure out what caused that. Oh shit he thought as he realized he must have spoken out loud and how it would sound to someone who didn't know what he knew. How to explain?

"Relax, please" Jim started. "I know him, I know how his body reacts, I was hoping for broken ribs" he continued. The look didn't change. Crap not the right words, shouldn't have said 'hoping'.

He was dead, figuratively, if not literally, if he didn't make him understand quickly. "Unconscious, broken ribs, easy to fix but he'd go out with that type of pain. Not broken means it has to be something worse." Whew success, Ed's demeanor changed from I'll kill you to worry.

"Explain" was all Ed said.

"Blondie, err Sam to you, has a high pain threshold. It has to be bad to send him unconscious. Really bad either physically or ..." Jim didn't finish. He didn't want to share the rest it wasn't his place so he tried to deflect. "I'm worried there might be internal bleeding; all the bruising on his stomach. That would be bad, something like that he'd be out. It has me real worried" he concluded.

"Boss, we need air-evac NOW, possible internal bleeding. The police helicopter cannot get him out. There is nowhere to land, no clearing large enough and it's not outfitted with a hoist" was Ed's tightly controlled response to Jim's explanation.

"Let me find out air-evac ETA, hold tight" Greg responded. Switching to the proper channel he communicated the need and did not like the response. "Are you sure? Nothing else is available. Any others with a faster response time from surrounding areas? Do what you can, we have a badly injured SRU officer, possible internal bleeding."

Frustrated and upset Greg switched back to channel six "Eddie, bad news. Air-evac ETA is two hours. They are busy with a eight car pileup. They say nothing closer with capability to extract without landing."

"We need options guys and fast" Ed replied. The team started considering possible options. They needed to get Sam to a hospital and quickly. No one was happy.

* * *

**_Army CH-146 Griffon Helicopter - Inflight_**

"Captain Blain?" queried Corporal Simons who was currently flying in an Army CH-146 Griffon approximately sixty-five km away from Sam's location.

"Yeah Winds, what's so important you're using titles?" Blaze asked knowing something was up. His communications specialist was rarely formal. It usually indicated something out of the ordinary was happening.

"Blaze, been listening to local air chatter. There's a situation not far from us. The SRU has an officer in need of air-evac. A medic rappelled to his location, says possible internal bleeding. Air-evac ETA two hours. They need to hoist him out given the terrain, no aircraft available sooner outfitted with one. I was thinking we should help" Winds said.

"We're finished with the training op. Let me see if we can get authorization. You locate who I need to speak with at SRU if we get it" Blaze replied then proceeded to communicate with his base commander to obtain authorization to assist.

Once authorization was obtained Winds patched Blaze through to the right channel. "This is Captain Blain, with Army Special Ops. May I speak with Sergeant Greg Parker?" Blaze asked over the SRU channel one.

Sergeant Winter motioned for Greg to switch to channel one that someone needed to speak with him. "This is Sergeant Parker, who am I speaking with?" Greg asked.

"Captain Blain, Special Ops. I hear you have a situation. We'd like to help" Blaze replied.

"How can you help?" Greg replied curiously.

"We just finished our training op. Heard you had an injured officer that needed air lifted. We are currently about ten to fifteen minutes out from your location. Our bird is outfitted with a hoist and cage. We are experienced in extractions" Blaze returned.

"Thank you. We would very much appreciate your help" Greg said relieved. He then gave Captain Blain the coordinates and had them switch to channel six.

* * *

**_Rouge Park - Ravine_**

Ed, Spike and Jules were standing a little away from Sam and Jim. They were still trying to come up with options. Nothing looked good. When Sarge said "Ed, good news, help is ten minutes out. Patching in Captain Blain so the two of you can define a plan."

Ed and Blaze spoke and worked out a plan. When they arrived they would send down two of their team with the backboard, cage and four harnesses. Once the plan was defined everyone felt a small relief. Jim had checked Sam's vitals again and was setting up an IV when Sam's eyes opened.

Sam blinked a few times getting his eyes to focus. He noticed Ed, Jules and Spike off to his right talking. Ow, damn must be the medic to the left he reasoned feeling the sting of an IV being inserted. Sam flicked his eyes to the left to look at the medic. The uniform confirmed it was a medic. He looked familiar. A name filtered into his head.

"Patch?" he said but no sound was emitted. Not believing his eyes he blinked several times but always presented with the same image when they opened. Was he dreaming or worse hallucinating. It couldn't be Patch, not here. Could it be him? He tried again to speak "Patch?" This time it was a faint hoarse sound but was loud enough for Jim to hear.

Jim finished taping the IV and looked into Sam's cautious questioning eyes and smiled. "Yeah Blondie it's me. I was surprised to see you. Missed ya a lot buddy. Hold tight. Evac is a few minutes out. Rest for now. I'm here. I'll take care of you now." Then he placed a hand on Sam's left arm and gave it a small squeeze like he had done way too many times before.

Sam did not know what to think. Patch said he missed him. How is that possible? They hated him. How could Patch miss him? Sam recognized the gesture, a squeeze of his arm, one that had comforted him many times. Patch had told him once that he did it to let Sam know he cared.

So why did he do it now? He didn't care about him anymore. How could he care? Sam had done the unthinkable, killed their brother. Patch hated him now. Unable to comprehend, his mind too jumbled, his body in too much pain, he simply stared at Patch, no hint of emotion showing.

Jim's conversation attracted the attention of the team. They hurried over and knelt close.

"Samo, man it's good to see you awake. Told me no naps in the forest. Promised me no unacceptable risks. Do we need to review that definition again?" Ed said strictly but with smile as he lightly patted Sam's right leg.

"Got ya a cool ride coming. No regular air-evac for you. Army bird on the way. Only the best will do for our Samtastic. But seriously buddy, you have to stop this. Three times in the same day. This is _not_ what we had in mind for a profoundly unique day. Just sayin" Spike wisecracked needing to ease the tension.

Jules stroked her fingers through his hair caressing his head. "You scared us. Just be still and let us help you. It will be okay. You will be okay. We will keep you safe" she said. Worry was etched on her face as she noticed that his face was completely devoid of emotion. He did not respond to their comments. His eyes had gone blank.

Sam was shutting down. He did not know how to handle this. It was too foreign. They did not act or say what he expected. Experience told him they were to yell and condemn him, to flay him alive with words for killing Aaron.

His mind grappled for explanation. Maybe he was unconscious and just dreaming, his mind creating the acceptance he so desperately wanted. But the pain he felt in his head, chest and arm was all too real.

Too many conflicting emotions. This was too much. Today was too much. His eyes slipped closed just as the Griffon appeared overhead.

Jim quickly checked his vitals. His heart rate was a bit faster and still thready. Jim was glad the evac was here. Something was seriously wrong with Blondie. There were physical injuries for sure but the lack of emotion on his face scared the hell out of him.

God he wished Matt or the Lieutenant were here, they'd know what to do. Matt was the best at pulling Sam back but the Lieutenant could do it too.

Matt and the Lieutenant had developed a fast method to help assess what was needed when Blondie got back when assigned to other units. Just two simple questions; 'How long?' and 'How bad?' Given the state Blondie was usually in after those missions it had to be simple.

How long would tell them his physical state. How many days he laid in his sniper perch unmoving unable to eat or drink much. How bad, god the answer to that one was tough to hear sometimes. It broke their hearts.

The General was a sadistic bastard to keep sending Blondie on all those missions. He treated Blondie like he was a sniper robot without a soul. Matt had said once he thought the General was trying to see how many kills it would take to completely tear apart a soul. How bad, was the number of people Blondie killed on a mission. Jim knew those questions did not apply here but he recognized the blankness and Sam needed someone to help pull him back from the brink.

His train of thought was interrupted as two men rappelled down. Jim bent down and rechecked the IV and vitals again and readied Blondie for transport. Ed and Spike went to meet them and help with the supplies.

"Captain Blain?" Ed asked loudly to be heard over the noise of helo as he approached the army officer.

"That's me, but call me Blaze everyone does and this is Winds" Blaze responded even louder reaching out to shake Ed's hand.

Jim's head shot up instantly and looked in their direction.

"BLAZE, WINDS?" Jim bellowed not believing they were there. Everyone turned and stared at Jim.

"Patch?" Blaze questioned as he took in the sight of his old buddy. He could always read Patch, an open book to him. Fear, concern and relief were running through him with equal measure.

"Found Blondie, it's bad" he said flatly as he pointed to the SRU officer on the ground.

"Holy shit!" was all Blaze could say as he and Winds stared at Sam and processed what Patch had said. It was something they had said way too often 'found Blondie, it's bad'. It meant action now, questions later.

Blaze immediately called out commands. Sam was quickly strapped to the board and into the cage and hoisted to the helicopter. In record time they had Sam secured in the bird along with three other SRU officers and one medic. The trip to the hospital was quick. During the entire flight six people silently watched an unconscious Sam/Blondie hoping he was going to be okay.


	11. Heather & Air-Lift Thoughts

**Heather &amp; Air-Lift Thoughts**

* * *

**_Hospital - ER Nurse Information Desk_**

Heather hated working the emergency room department, that's why she had transferred to the surgery department long ago. But Nancy had begged her to cover the last half of her shift tonight so she could see her daughter's ballet performance. She had reluctantly agreed to do it_ this one time_.

It was not the blood and gore of emergency she hated. In fact, if she was the nurse working on the patient it was good, she was helping. What she hated was being assigned as the ER waiting room nurse, the one everyone came to for status on patients.

Seeing the anguish of those waiting for word on their loved ones when she was unable to do anything to help. It was that sense of helplessness she hated. It tore her heart watching them wait and crumbled upon hearing bad news. As her luck, bad luck, would have it, that's what Nancy's shift had been assigned to for today.

She was wallowing in her own little pity party when Clare, another nurse, approached and asked if she had seen the news yet. Heather shook her head no. She'd been too busy dealing with a group of firefighters waiting for word on their buddy. Luckily, he was not badly hurt, a simple fracture to his leg, minor concussion and some first degree burns; he would make a full recovery.

They had just left with smiles on their faces, thank goodness. The hour or so they waited was hard on her. Heather had a soft spot for firefighters and constables. She felt an affinity with them, they all were about saving and protecting life. The difference though is that they put their lives on the line every day to do it.

Heather was always amazed at how the teams would rally around when one of their members got hurt. Most teams seemed like concerned friends or professional buddies. But a few, a very rare few were more like chosen families. In those rare teams, she saw bonds that were stronger, ran deeper and rivaled any biological family bond because they had chosen each other; it wasn't just some accident of birth. It was so very hard to watch these types of teams deal with the painful realization that they couldn't protect one of their own.

Clare pointed to the TV and said. "I can't believe that something like that could happen here. A full scale gang war in Rouge Park. The news said that almost every SRU constable was involved. They had to track down more than a dozen armed gang members. Took them hours and hours but they got them all …"

Heather was no longer listening to Clare. Her attention had been grabbed by TV news footage of the command area repeating a loop showing a group of SRU officers going off the wall. Definitely not something you see every day. SRU officers were the best of the best and could be counted on to be calm and in control even in the worst situation.

She saw things thrown and the officers yelling unmistakably in distress while another group behind them stood watching tensely. Something bad had happened. Then she recognized the officers. They were the ones that saved everyone the day Phoebe's dad demanded the heart go to her instead of an older patient. Then she caught the tail end of what Clare was saying, "… heard the injured one is coming to us."

"Sorry Clare, I wasn't listening, what did you say?" Heather inquired.

"Well, if you'd get the cotton outta your ears, I was saying, the injured officer is being air-lifted to us. I overheard dispatch tell the ER doctor to prepare for gunshot wound, head trauma and internal bleeding. Hope the constable makes it, they already lost one guy today, I'd hate for them to lose two officers because of stupid thugs" Clare said.

Heather sat down heavily at her desk and placed her head in her hands and sighed deeply. Which one was it she wondered. Who was missing from the news footage? Didn't see the female officer, Jules they called her. Hope it's not her, that one has courage and heart.

Who else was missing? Oh the cute blonde guy that just wanted to shoot to solve the issue. They shut him down she remembered laughing a bit, sent him on a coffee run. 'Went all coffee shop on his ass' is what Jules had said and everyone had smiled. They didn't seem to like him too much, so with reactions she saw on the news it had to be Jules.

Wait Clare had said they lost one guy; guy, not girl. That team was the only one going berserk so they must have been from that team only. The blonde was dead, that's sad he was so young. He may have been a bit of a jerk but he lost his life protecting others and that was sad, very sad.

So the injured one, it had to be the female officer Jules. This was going to be hard. Heather wished that her shift was already over. She could tell by the reactions she was going to be dealing with one of those rare teams that had formed deep unbreakable bonds.

* * *

**_Army CH-146 Griffon Helicopter - Inflight_**

As the helicopter left the scene and headed towards the hospital Blaze spoke to his pilot and second in charge. "Hal, Winds and I are staying with Blondie. We cannot leave him right now. If the Commander wants a reason, just make something up. Tell them we are staying to retrieve our supplies, ya know the backboard and shit. We will return when we … when … when we can."

"Roger that" Hal responded. Their unit was fairly new, a month or so, formed just after Blaze was promoted, but Winds and Blaze had been together for years. They often shared exploits of missions past when the unit was just hanging out getting to know one another. Blondie was in many of the tales they told. Many involved how the kid did crazy shit to save their asses when things went south. He understood Blaze and Winds need to be there now and would make sure the excuse for their absence, no matter how long, was plausible.

No one spoke for the remainder of the flight, all in their own private thoughts.

Blaze was staring at Blondie. Why was it so hard to finish that last statement? Probably had to do with the fact that Blondie's face was covered in blood, his chest exposed covered in the god awful bruises, and that he was unconscious. Yes, that was part, but not really 'it'. Why?

It clicked, because of the terrible fear he had read in Patch. Patch was never afraid of Blondie's physical wounds. Those he could handle well, always did. That kid was alive today because of some of the magic Patch worked in the field and because the kid was just to stubborn to die. He always knew what to do for the 'how long'. It was the other that scared the shit out of Patch.

He tried to help but it was Matt and himself that dealt with the 'how bad'. Blondie needed him. He wasn't sure he could do it alone. He had failed him last time. Too caught up in his own grief over Matt's loss he'd failed Blondie when he needed him the most. They'd screwed up and lost him. He vowed he would not fail again!

Winds was just speechless when he saw that the SRU officer that needed help was Blondie. He was never at a loss for words. It knocked the wind right out of him when Patch said 'found Blondie, it's bad'. That was something he never, ever had wanted to hear again in this lifetime.

He remembered the day that kid joined the unit. The seasoned unit was down two so they got two newbies just out of Special Ops training. Winds thought someone was playing a joke on the unit when this blonde headed kid, yes kid, hopped out of the jeep and gave the guy with him a lopsided smile. He didn't look much older than 20; too young to be Special Forces.

It was no joke though. He was only 22, the youngest ever. With the name Braddock he figured that the General had pulled some strings to get him in early. He had been worried that they might have been stuck with just a pretty boy just playing at soldier to impress the girls.

The next day the unit was sent out on a mission. He was the unit's long-range marksman and the other new guy Matt was his spotter. The mission went to hell in a heartbeat. We all would have been dead, several times over, that day if Blondie hadn't been there covering our asses.

Blondie took out twelve targets with perfect kill shots, some in rapid succession. He was fast, damned fast on the trigger. He proved himself that day, he had their backs and they vowed to have his. He actually proved himself over and over to the point that Blaze wanted to turn him over his knee and tan his backside for the personal risks he took to keep the unit safe.

Ed was closely watching both Sam/Blondie and the guys named Blain/Blaze, Winds and Jim/Patch. He chuckled slightly at all the damned nicknames. They knew Sam well, very well. He could not miss the protectiveness that exuded from them.

They had to be buddies from his JTF2 unit. Maybe the ones that Dale had referred to earlier. Jim, err Patch, the damned medic, had used the same phrase 'found Blondie' Dale had used. That phrase sent the Captain into immediate action mode. Damn they were fast at extraction.

That made Ed happy. He'd been angry and worried when the air-evac had said ETA was two hours. He had been afraid they would lose Sam. The team needed him; he was an integral part of the family now. They'd smoothed off some of the soldier edges and he was proving every day he was perfect for SRU.

Today Sam nailed negotiating, he'd truly connected. As painful as that must have been for Sam, he did it to save others who were in pain. He saved John and Marty. Too bad about Tom, we can't save everyone some are just too far gone and Tom was one. He saved Sara today too. There was way more to that one, maybe Sam would share one day.

Ed seriously wondered about the four shots. What order did they occur? Was he in a position to help Aaron? He could tell by the angles that Sam was the one to neutralize both subjects. He knew with absolute certainty that Sam had done everything within his power to protect Aaron; though Sam would likely see some fault on his part and beat himself up over it. He'd have to set him straight about that when he wakes up. He'd remind him that sometimes we do everything right and it still turns out bad. That is one of the cruelties of life.

Spike did not like, absolutely hated seeing Samtastic like this, it physically hurt. He wanted, no he needed, this guy to be up and about and joking and flashing those smiles that sent girls swooning. Today had been profoundly unique. Did he jinx them with that omen crap this morning? No that's stupid.

Just as stupid as the name Blondie, he smirked, where did that thought come from? He had to admit though, Samtastic was better, way better than Blondie. His thoughts turned serious again. That blank stare on his face just before he closed his eyes really troubled him.

There was more than physical pain in play here. He was absolutely sure of that. Sam was complex, he hid emotions too well when he wanted to. He could be open and fun too. He'd seen a lot more of that guy in the past few months since they'd gotten their heads on straight.

After seeing into Sam's soul at the bank today, he was also absolutely determined to hold on tight, not let go. To figure it out and to be that person to … what was it that Sam had said, that's right, … 'pull you back to the beauty of life'. This was a vow he had to keep, one he would keep no matter how long it might take and no matter how many corny jokes it took. He would get Sam to laugh again and see that mischief light shine in his eyes. Samtastic was his brother by choice; he'd always be there for him.

Jules mind kept wandering to the feel of Sam's hair between her fingers. Why she couldn't let that go? She wasn't sure. This guy with the WOW smile was worming himself into places she didn't know existed within her.

She had stroked his hair three times today. Twice in front of the other guys. Jules bet that didn't go unnoticed. She hoped they saw it as her simply offering comfort to a teammate. That is what she would claim if they said anything. But would she ever do that to any of the other guys; yes she thought. Then a little voice in her head said – be honest Jules. Well to be honest, no she wouldn't do that to Sarge, Ed, Wordy, Lou or Spike. Didn't mean she cared more or less for any of them. They all were family.

Why was Sam different? Why did he evoke these unconscious actions? She remembered the very first time she saw him. He'd said lady snipers were sexy and she'd pulled a gun on him because she thought he was reaching for one from his jacket. In fact all the guys with the exception of Sarge and Ed, who were already gone with SIU, had their guns pointed at him. He didn't even flinch. Commander Holleran had to tell them to put their weapons down. Sam had sauntered away telling them 'nice post incident reflexes'.

She wasn't sure when it happened but this man had carved his own special niche in her heart. She would walk through hell to save him. By the expression on his face, actually the lack thereof, a few minutes ago, it looked like she just might have to do just that. He needed saving. He deserved saving.

Patch was mulling over everything since rappelling. God he was afraid for Blondie, not physically, though that was bad enough in itself. He'd been shocked and totally relieved when he saw Blaze and Winds. There had to be a guardian angel watching over Blondie, maybe it was Matt. If so, he'd sent the one guy Patch knew would be able to help. He hadn't put together that Captain Blain was Lieutenant Blain, common enough name. Man, Blaze got the promotion he so deserved.

Upon seeing him he said the only thing that came to mind, the four words that would communicate everything to Blaze. Blaze would make it all right again, he and Matt always did. A little thought started to niggle at the back of his brain, maybe Blaze wasn't the only one that could help anymore. He'd seen and heard Blondie's new teammate reactions.

There was that look of protectiveness Ed gave him. The concern he'd shown through words and actions. His gentle pat on the leg and strict words on not taking risks. Was the kid still doing that? Then there was Jules, the look of worry and her words showed her heart. The caress of his hair was very telling.

Finally the guy they called Spike, funny nickname. He reminded him of Matt. Not physically in anyway, more in temperament and his zest for life that showed in his use of humor. Blondie needed to laugh. Matt could always make him laugh. Laughter was important. Matt always said that 'laughter healed the soul". And boy did Blondie's soul need healing.

* * *

**_Hospital - Air-Evac Pad_**

Everyone was jarred from their thoughts not realizing they had landed at the hospital until the doors slid open. They all jumped out and quickly assisted in getting Sam transferred to the gurney. Then Sam was whisked away from them to the ER.

Heather watched them unload the patient. She was surprised to see Jules among those helping. Relief but confusion sweep through her. Then she saw the blonde head and lost her breathe at the sight of him and his condition.

God she wanted to be the one to help, to fix him, but that was not her job today. So she turned to the group of three SRU officers, one paramedic, and two Army officers. All of whom had expressions of distress and anxiety clearly displayed for all to see.

She approached the group but directed here query to Jules "My name is Heather. I'll be your contact in the ER. Can you tell me the name of the injured officer for my records?"

She was taken aback when six people gave her four answers simultaneously "Sam", "Blondie", "Braddock" and "Samtastic."

Oh god, this was gonna be painful to watch them wait. This man had forged bonds so deep and strong with those in front of her. She hoped he made it. She feared for them if he didn't.


	12. The Waiting Room

**The Waiting Room**

* * *

**_Hospital - Air-Evac Pad_**

"Shit, I should have gone with the ER doctor. I need to speak with him now. They need to know he reacts very badly to several pain medications" Patch said as he ran after the ER team.

Heather could see the rigidity of all of them, like they would break into tiny pieces with the slightest bump. The paramedic's words had just alarmed them, putting images in their heads of what 'reacts very badly' meant. She needed to do something to ease the tension a bit. They unintentionally gave her the perfect solution when they had answered_ "Sam", "Blondie", "Braddock", "Samtastic"_.

She smiled at them and laughed lightly "Ok, so can we agree on a name? Blondie's descriptive but Samtastic is an _awesome_ name. I'd love to see that up on the chart board."

That released the pressure a little but didn't completely erase it. Ed looked at Heather and offered "His given name is Samuel W. Braddock. Let's just go with Sam for now. I am his SRU Team Lead, Ed Lane".

"Okay, Sam it is. If you would please follow me, I'll take you all to the waiting room" Heather said. On the way she showed them where they could get coffee and pointed out her desk in case they had questions. They needed some privacy, they were in full gear and didn't need the public gawking at them at a time like this. So she took the group to a private waiting room instead of the general area.

* * *

**_Hospital - ER Private Waiting Room_**

The five nervously paced the room occasionally glancing at each other wanting to start a conversation but not knowing what to say. Heather returned and gave a clipboard with paperwork to Ed to fill out. So he took a seat. That prompted the others to do the same but silence remained.

Patch entered the room several minutes later. They all looked towards him expectantly. He shook his head indicating no update on Sam and said "Didn't see him, only told the doctor what they needed to know." He headed over to Blaze and Winds who were on one side of the room and gave them bear hugs. They immediately huddled together and began conversing in low voices that couldn't be overheard.

They discussed how to help Blondie. The emotional shutdown was familiar but the catalyst had to be different, it was different here. They'd seen the three dead bodies and recognized one was a SRU officer. Maybe Blondie had formed another friendship, like the one he had with Matt and loss had flipped the switch. They just didn't know.

The one thing they did know is it would have to take something significant to knock him off kilter like this. They decided they had to talk to someone on his team. But which one? They decided to do some recon, determine who if anyone they could trust on his new team to help Blondie.

Winds covertly watched the three SRU team members trying to decide who they might approach. The woman, Patch had said her name was Jules sat very still, elbows on her knees, face planted in her palms and he detected a slight shake of her shoulders. He could tell she was silently crying and didn't want anyone to know. Interesting. Was it a girl reaction she didn't want to reveal in a man dominated field or did she truly care about Blondie? Patch said something about her telling Blondie that they would keep him safe. She was a possibility.

The guy they called Spike was sitting off in a corner staring at the ceiling while one knee bounced vigorously up and down and his hands clasped and unclasped together constantly. His emotions were clearly written on his face, he cared and was distressed. He almost looked as if he was in physical pain himself and he oddly exuded a sense of purpose. Patch said he joked with Blondie. This was a fascinating mix, it could work.

Winds noticed that Ed, the team lead, was as taut as a strung bow and had been scowling at the forms for quite some time. He'd seen that same look on Blaze more than once over the sixteen years they'd served together. Ed was pissed at himself for some perceived failure to the men under his command and trying very hard not to explode. Understandable with one dead and one injured. That look was how Blaze had gotten his nickname. When he couldn't hold it in he would blaze red hot with rage and could burn anyone and anything in his path.

The last time Blaze had that look was when Blondie left the unit without a single word to them shortly after Matt died. Blaze keenly felt he had failed Blondie and Matt. He had been the one to relay that shit-for-brains Major Plouffe's all clear to fire order.

In the days following, Blaze could not bear to look at Blondie. Blaze knew he was responsible for the intense shattered pain he saw in Blondie's eyes. It hurt too much to see the pain he had caused the kid. In fact it was too painful for all of them to witness that pain so they avoided looking at him.

No one could find the right words either to alleviate Blondie's pain. So they said nothing. They realized after he left that that they should have said something, anything. They had totally and unequivocally fucked up and failed him when he needed them most. Winds vowed he would not fail Blondie again if given a second chance.

Winds could see that Ed was losing his battle with control. He was gonna blow soon. What he exploded about would be telling. It might give them the opening to talk to them. Funny how rage often did that more quickly and effectively than smooth talk. Probably because rage was pure, hard, raw, intense and hard to fake. The explosion was definitely coming soon.

Ed had only filled out Sam's name and where he worked. He had been staring at one particular box on the form not knowing what to enter. Berating himself for how badly he'd messed up when Sam joined the team. He should know the answer but he didn't. He knew it for everyone else. Why not Sam? What did this say about his leadership abilities?

Heather had just opened the door to allow Greg, Wordy and Lou to enter the waiting room when Ed hit the tipping point of his anger. He raged "Dammit Sam. I'm sorry kid. I should know this. Dammit all to hell, you cover our backs every damned day and I don't even know your god damned DOB." He threw the clipboard across the room slamming into the wall.

Heather and rest of the SRU team stared at Ed's outburst. The team suddenly feeling just as guilty as Ed because they all realized they didn't know his birthday either.

However, the three JTF2 buddies burst out in uncontrolled, deep rolling laughter. This caused all six SRU members and Heather to turn and gape at them like they had lost their minds.

Winds struggled to get control and tried to explain between gasps of laughter "Aw shit, the kid did it again. Sorry man, don't mean to laugh but it's too damned funny. The same thing happened to us the first time we had to take Blondie to the base hospital and he was unconscious. Blaze raged and threw a clipboard across the room for the same damned reason."

Getting himself under a bit of control Winds chuckled "Blondie had been with us almost four months saving our butts more times than you could count and we didn't even know his birthday. We felt like shit for not knowing, like we failed him somehow. But then Matt told us even he didn't even know it and they had been thick as thieves for a long time. We had to resort to hacking into his file to find out his damned DOB."

Blaze said shaking his head still chuckling "Surprised the hell out of us when we found out how young he really was. His field skills were so impressive we thought he had to be older than he looked like maybe 28-30. We were wrong, he really was just a kid; he was 22 just shy of 23".

"So what's his birthday?" questioned Jules still somewhat shaken by the outburst.

"Should make you hack it too, make this sense of déjà vu complete. But I won't, it's February 9th. That would make him 28 now" Winds supplied with a smile.

The ice was broken now. SRU and JTF2 introduced themselves and started sharing stories of Sam. Laughing and joking about good times, the crazy, embarrassing and astonishing things Sam did helped each of them push away the fear and helplessness they currently felt. They had found a unique way to cope for now and it solidified in the minds of Blaze, Winds and Patch they had found six new allies who cared for Sam.

Heather stayed in the room and listened for a while. Amazed at how they were all helping each other through this terrible time. They did it with humor and forging new friendships connecting through memories of one remarkable man.

The image she had now of Sam did not match with her first impression. He was one of those rare men that went above and beyond to protect others. She could see he was special to them and they all really cared about him. She truly hoped he would be okay.

Heather quietly left the room and went to the ER nurses station. She went directly to the nurses chart board and with a broad smile erased Samuel Braddock and wrote SAMTASTIC and thought yes that's more appropriate!

"… and we were wrapping things up, Spike handed off the concussion grenade to the rookie bomb squad guy and turned to talk with Jules. The guy stumbled and dropped it pulling the pin in the process. It rolled quickly towards Jules and Spike who were turned the other way and didn't see it coming towards them. Sam yelled grenade. Everyone ran away from it except Sam. He ran towards it and threw himself on it just as it exploded only a few feet from Spike and Jules. His ears rang for a couple of days after that. Mostly from Ed yelling at him for taking unacceptable risks" Wordy finished, everyone laughing, just as several others came into the room.

Greg rose and walked over to speak with the newcomers. "Commander" Greg intoned as he greeted Holleran and nodded in greeting to two SIU agents, Stevens and Donner he thought, and one patrol officer.

"Greg, any word on Braddock?" Command Holleran asked.

"Not yet, the guys are getting pretty worried. Ed said he looked really bad and it's been several hours now and not a single update. Things all wrapped up at Rouge Park?" Greg inquired.

"Yes and I notified Team Four and Aaron's family also. Sad day, don't want to lose another officer today, especially not Sam" Holleran sighed.

Greg gave him a curious look. He'd never heard him speak like that and began to wonder just how well Holleran knew Sam.

"Are those the guys we have to thank for getting Sam here? I'd like to personally thank them if they are" Holleran nodded towards Blaze and Winds who had their backs to them currently talking with Lou and Wordy.

"Yes" Greg responded. "Captain, Corporal, I'd like to introduce you to the SRU Commander" he called out as they walked towards the two JTF2 guys.

Blaze and Winds turned to look at Greg and the Commander. "Holleran, my god man, it's been years. So this is where you got off to" said Blaze as he forcefully shook Holleran's hand.

"Blain, what are the odds?" Holleran said a little stunned seeing his old friend.

"Never would have guessed it in a million years it was Blondie we were helping. Glad we were around though. I owe that kid my life" Blaze concluded.

"We appreciate the help today. I will be letting your Commander know just how much. I'm sure the General will be thanking you too" Holleran stated. "Speaking of the General, Greg have you informed him yet?"

"His aide said he, his wife and daughter are out of country now and unable to come at this time" Greg replied.

"Good" muttered Blaze under his breath, drawing a curious look from Greg. Seeing the look Blaze said "Might be my General but I can't stand the man, better for Blondie if he doesn't come."

Further inquiry was halted as the doctor entered the room. "Family of Constable Braddock" he asked looking up from his clipboard.

"That's us" six SRU officers, two special ops, and one paramedic loudly stated at the same time.

Instantly overwhelmed by the volume of the response and the laser intensity of nine pairs of eyes trained on him, he took a small step backwards and brought the clipboard up to his chest protectively. He recovered quickly and said "I am Dr. Jim Fraser, in charge of treating Constable Braddock."

"Unfortunately, he has sustained quite a few injuries today, but he is physically stable. The gunshot wound to the upper right arm was clean through and damage was minimal. Although he lost a fair amount of blood and is getting a transfusion right now."

"He sustained a moderate concussion and has several contusions and a large hematoma on the back of the head. He required six stitches above the eye and has various minor lacerations and abrasions on his face."

"Five of his ribs are cracked and he had a hairline fracture of the left clavicle. There is extensive bruising of his left shoulder, chest and stomach from blunt force trauma. There is also significant bruising on his back, arms and legs too. Basically he looks like one big bruise."

"There is minor bruising of the kidneys but the liver appears to be fine. Initially we were worried there might be internal bleeding due to the amount of blunt force trauma but haven't detected any. His lungs and heart appear to be fine. Last but not least he has a badly sprained left wrist."

"All in all he is physically he is pretty beat up. But expected to recover with a good long rest. We expect no long term adverse effects from any of the physical injuries."

There were sighs of relief all around until the look on the doctor's face told them he had more to say and they would not like hearing it.

Dr. Fraser took a breath in before continuing "However, it is his mental state that has me very concerned. Constable Braddock regained consciousness over an hour ago but has not responded in any way. He is awake and brain functions are normal, but he will not speak or move and stares blankly."

"It is extremely troubling. For this reason we will be keeping in the ICU for observation instead of moving him to a standard room. I understand he was injured on the job. Is there something that happened that may help us understand his current mental state. Perhaps he experienced some sort of emotional trauma or shock?

Team One shared looks between them and silently came to an agreement.

"Well, you could say he has had one overwhelmingly emotional day" Greg started. He drew in a breath and recounted. "We had four hot calls today with no break at all in between. We were on the move since seven am until he was injured about eight pm. In the first call Sam was our sniper and had to neutralize the subject when he escalated hurting a hostage and turned the gun on a team member."

"Neutralize?" the doctor questioned.

Ed clarified "He had to take a lethal shot, kill the subject."

"Oh, okay having to take a life could have this effect" Dr. Fraser said looking thoughtful.

"Not for Blondie, it would take more than that" interjected Blaze.

"Blondie?" asked Dr. Fraser.

Lou said smoothly "Among those gathered here you will hear Sam referred by many nicknames including Blondie and Samtastic. To avoid confusion for the doc let's all just stick to Sam." He looked at each of them asking for agreement. Lou got nodded agreement from all.

"So you are saying that Sam would not be affected in this way by having to kill someone?" the doctor asked directly to Blaze skeptically.

"No he would not. He is ex-JTF2 his specialty was long range-marksman. Unfortunately, he has way too much experience in taking out targets for one kill to affect him" Blaze flatly stated but did not expound on what 'too much' meant. But then he thought what if this one kill was the one that finally shredded the last of his soul? What if it was finally one to many? NO he screamed to himself do not think this way, Blondie was stronger than that.

Spike took over in a slightly unsteady voice remembering the look on Sam's face. "The second call he was the negotiator and opened old emotional wounds of being a POW and tortured in Kandahar. He did it to connect with the three subjects wanting to end their own pain of being tortured over there via suicide by cop. Sam was able to save two, but the third subject was too far gone and shot him in the vest. That where the left shoulder injuries occurred. Jules neutralized the third subject."

"Oh shit" Patch said as tears filled his eyes and his voice cracked. "No oh god no! Matt worked so hard to help him put those memories in a safe place. Sam wanted to die but Matt wouldn't let go. He sat up every night watching him for three weeks straight just to make sure he didn't try to eat a bullet, never left him alone. Matt worked harder than I worked to heal his physical body. He was a bloody pulp when we found him; seemed like every inch of his skin was flayed open with thin gashes. Bringing those memories out could have the effect you are seeing doc."

The doctor could only stare and nod at Patch.

Wordy spoke up next "The third call involved six young children being held hostage in an attempted robbery. He and I pursued a subject down an alley. The subject took a little blonde headed girl hostage and used her as a human shield as he tried to get away. Sam neutralized the subject when he threatened to kill the girl."

"He saved the girl but collapsed directly after taking the shot. He was out cold for several minutes. He regained consciousness locked in a nightmare of sorts calling the little girl's name upset that he didn't save her and something about no shoes. The little girl didn't have shoes on."

A quick intake of breath came from Holleran. Team One's eyes pinned to him. "What was the girl's name?" he asked softly.

"Sara, is that significant?" asked Wordy.

"Very. Sam is truly having one hell of an emotional day. That was his little sister's name. He was nine, Sara was seven and they were walking to a park. She died in front of him. He was holding her hand when she was hit by a car so hard it knocked her out of her shoes."

"The guy driving got a DUI, drunk at eleven am. Senseless death. Somehow Sam seemed to blame himself for her death. I didn't think I'd ever see him smile again after that day" Holleran said. He closed his eyes as he sadly remembered the lost and alone look on the face of a nine year old little boy at his sister funeral.

"But what happened after, with the little girl. I don't think that this is the reason for Sam's condition now" Lou said but didn't explain. Team One nodded in agreement. The others looked on wondering but didn't pry. Something about their manner said they would never divulge.

It was silent for a few minutes as everyone digested that information. Off to the side a seasoned patrol officer was sitting quietly and thinking holy shit this was already too much and just listening to it I want to retreat into oblivion. How could someone live with so much pain etched into his soul? I don't know if I want to know what happened in his fourth call. But he had to be here, the SIU officer insisted a patrol officer be present.

"So your fourth call" the doctor prompted hesitantly not really wanting to hear but needing to to help his patient.

Team One looked to Jules. She would know the most about the fourth call. She began "The fourth call was the gang war. Sam helped plan the tactics. While we waited Wordy, Spike Lou and I overheard disparaging talk about Sam from Aaron. He was mouthing off to Frank and Brett. We did not confront him because we had a job to do and would deal with it later. Sam was unaware of the remarks."

"Sam was Bravo team lead in charge of me, Aaron and Frank. Aaron displayed a bad attitude and questioned Sam's commands at every turn. Sam dealt with him in a professional manner and kept the team focused on our task."

"Wait Jules back up, mouthing off how?" Ed interrupted and asked harshly.

"Said he was a pretty boy, all show and no go, that daddy pulled strings to get him into JTF2. That no unit wanted him and he was constantly getting transferred to new units and that he fucked up and killed a guy in his unit. Shot him in the back and was kicked out of JTF2" Jules said.

"I'll kill that guy now!" Blaze raged a split second before Ed raged "Why the hell didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have put them with Sam if I knew. It put him at risk."

Greg had to get them refocused, he rubbed his hand over his head and across his eyes then calmly commented "Blaze you can't Aaron is already dead. Ed we'll deal with that later. Jules continue let's stay focused here."

She took a deep breath wondering if she should leave this part out. Decided it might be important to Sam's mental state so forged on "Initially Aaron and I were partnered. Aaron asked me to take point so I did. After a bit Sam seemed very worried and pissed off by something. He switched up teams after about a half hour and made Aaron point with him. He seemed to relax after making Aaron point with him."

She continued "As we approached the clearing, Sam located a subject behind Frank and me with a gun ready to shoot. He neutralized that subject then ran after the last subject. Or what we thought was the last subject. Turns out there were two."

"We heard a shot fired, then apparently a subject beating Sam. Then heard three voices, two subjects and Aaron's, followed by four more shots in close succession. When I arrived Sam was down and Aaron and the two subjects were dead. We do not know exactly what happened at the ravine."

"So if I've heard correctly, Sam had to kill five people today and watch a fellow officer under his command die?" the doctor clarified. Team One all nodded yes. He was about to continue but was interrupted.

"Then I arrived. He took one look at me and that is when he finally went blank …" Patch barely uttered but could not say more, looked to Blaze pleading for help then covered his face with his hands and cried, sorrow and fear leeching out of every pore.

"What?" chorused from Team One.

With watery eyes, Blaze spoke with grief lacing every word "What Patch is trying to say is the final piece in this hellacious emotional day is what probably threw him over the edge. The last time Blondie saw Patch, myself and Winds for that matter, was three days after Blondie killed his best friend Matt in a long-range friendly fire incident in Kandahar".

"I see" is all Dr. Fraser could say, shocked beyond reasonable comprehension of what this young man had been through in the last thirteen hours.

With a total look of desolation on her face and tears freely falling from her eyes Jules sobbed out "Is this too much damage? He broke and broke again. Are there too many pieces to mend?" She collapsed into Wordy's arms and he hugged her tightly as a father would a comfort a hurting child.

Team One and the former JTF2 unit looked from one to another vowing without words that they would help Sam find his way back to the beauty of life.

Greg spoke for them all "We need to see him NOW! He cannot be left alone. He needs to know we are here. We promised him today to keep him safe."

They all started towards the door when a voice halted them.

"You cannot, he is a subject officer in five shootings in thirteen hours and now a potential suspect in the murder of Constable Aaron Plouffe. He is sequestered! You will not see him and you will not speak to the subject officer. He is under my jurisdiction as of this moment" Richard Donner stated harshly with a venomous glint to his eye.


	13. Chaos, Pain & Good Shit

**Chaos, Pain &amp; Good Shit**

* * *

**_Hospital - ER Nurse Information Desk_**

Heather was sitting at the ER nurses desk. She giving information to an older gentleman about the condition of his wife. Suddenly the normally hushed ER waiting area was shattered by a sonic boom of rage and pain filled yelling exploding from the private waiting room. So many roaring voices on top of one another nothing could be comprehended but thundering noise.

She raced to the room with only one thought OH MY GOD, SAM DIED.

* * *

**_Hospital - ER Private Waiting Room_**

She threw open the door and was stunned to find the room in absolute chaos oozing uncontrolled rage. Everyone was shouting and the target of the rain of fury was a fearful looking Donner pushed up against the far wall.

Wordy, Spike, Lou, Patch and Winds were desperately trying to disengage Ed and Blaze from the man as they all were bellowing. Blaze had his hands around the guy's throat and Ed had firmly grabbed the front of Donner's shirt in his fists and was pushing him hard into the wall.

Greg was pacing in a tight circle frantically rubbing the top of his head roaring at Holleran who was shouting back waving his hand wildly in the direction of the guy on the wall.

Jules was standing feet apart hands on hips fists tightly clenched intently screaming at Kendall who appeared totally shocked as she was shrieking back and gesturing at Donner.

Dr. Fraser was hiding behind a patrol officer in the corner both looking shell-shocked by the pandemonium around them.

Heather's brain began to register individual comments but not from whom.

"Ed stop think man."

"You're fucking kidding me."

"You're a dead man Donner."

"Blaze no, god no, stop now."

"You fucking bastard."

"I will see him, you will not stop me."

"Stop NOW!"

"He can't do that can he?"

"You son of a bitch!"

"I won't let this to happen."

"He is not a murderer!"

"Sam needs us NOW!"

Holy shit, what the hell happened? Heather thought knowing this would not be the reaction if Sam had died. Her next thought was how do I get the room under control?

She could call security, but what could they really do in the face of a group of elite SRU officers and Special Forces men on an emotional rampage. Several of them were still armed. Thank god no one had pulled a weapon. 'Yet' entered her mind unbidden then receded.

As she stood there with the door open a crowd was gathering around behind her. She had to act and now otherwise there would be bad repercussions for the officers and she would not allow that. She would deal with the crowd, knowing that the officers would regain control of themselves, she hoped quickly. Heather rapidly closed the door and turned to the crowd.

* * *

**_Hospital - ER Private Waiting Room - Outside_**

She plastered her emotionless nurse face on and said "They got some really bad news about a fellow officer. The one injured in the gang war today. Please move away and give them the privacy they deserve."

Thus giving them something legitimate to chew on that would both explain and excuse the behavior they had seen. Especially since the news had been running accounts of Team One's day all evening. The news had found out who the injured officer was and were having a heyday reporting on his exploits today.

Someone had supplied them with cellphone video of one of their calls today. It showed the handsome young officer, flanked by his teammates, carrying a sleeping child in his arms. He carefully put her into the waiting arms of her mother, whispered something that made the mother smile then he stepped back. He smiled down at the little girl, gently stroked her golden hair and kissed her forehead.

The video ended with his teammates protectively surrounding him as they walked away. You could hear the 'aahhs' from the women in the room every time it was shown. The newscasters were calling him a hero, saying he saved that little girl from a drug crazed gunman.

They had also interviewed the bank manager who was a hostage in a bank robbery call who recounted how Sam had saved two men from committing suicide by talking to them. He seemed too shaken up to give many details, only saying that the officer showed him the beauty of life that morning.

They delved into his history and reported that he was ex-JTF2 and had served with distinction before joining the SRU's best of the best Team One. The video showing the unguarded, volatile reactions of the team when they heard him being hurt was played over and over as the newscasters commented on the fact that he must be special to garner emotional reactions like that from teammates who typically were highly composed even in the worst situations.

If they only knew the price the young man had paid today to save others they wouldn't be all smiles she sadly thought. They wrapped it up in fancy paper and pretty bows. But the reality was that it was ugly, bloody, and agonizingly brutal. Heather stayed outside the door acting as guard allowing the violent storm inside the room to blow itself out.

* * *

**_Hospital - ER Treatment Room_**

Sam knew only two things for sure, he was conscious and he was in inconceivable pain. His eyes may or may not be open, it was all blackness. Not a glimmer of light appeared. Only deafening silence roar in his ears. He had no voice. He had no idea if he was alone or surrounded. He did not know where he was. Nothing, absolutely nothing in the physical world registered except pain incredible pain.

Time had no meaning. He had no idea how long he laid awake and in pain. It felt infinite and unrelenting. His head throbbed with merciless pain. Breathing brought searing pain. Moving was met with pulsating pain. Pain, pain, pain.

That is all his world consisted of at the moment. Why couldn't he just stop existing? It would stop the pain. Why wouldn't oblivion take him back and stop the pain? Why must he always feel pain? Was he such a bad person that he deserved to be in pain? God why can't I just slip away and be released from the pain?

I'm so very tired of pain.

"Please … oh god please …stop the pain" he screamed in his head but came out as a barely audible obstructed cry.

"Doctor!" yell the nurse Clare looking frantically around for Dr. Fraser. Not seeing him she grabbed the closest orderly and asked where the doctor was.

"With the family I think in the private waiting area" he replied.

* * *

**_Hospital - ER Private Waiting Room_**

Clare ran as fast as she could to the waiting room. Heather was standing outside the door. She pushed her away and jerked open the door and yelled "Doctor Fraser, he spoke!"

The tempest in the room instantly stilled. No one moved a muscle. All sound ceased.

Clare blinked not believing the scene in the room.

Dr. Fraser's years of emergency room experience kicked in as he quickly moved toward the door calling out to Clare "What did he say?"

"It was so soft and choked I almost didn't hear him but he said 'please oh god please stop the pain'." Clare reported as the doctor reached the door and then started to follow him toward the ER.

"Shit!" Patch cried and raced after the doctor. If Blondie was begging them to make the pain stop then he was in real physical pain. He had a high pain threshold normally but sometimes his body overloaded him with pain, it was a level of pain he couldn't begin to manage, it would be his whole world.

Shit, shit, shit. This should not be happening. He told them exactly what and how much to give him to prevent it. Why didn't it work, was something different? It always worked in the past and he was right as rain in a few hours as his body adjusted. He needed to get to Blondie now and he would not let anyone even that god damned SIU guy stop him.

Hearing Patch cuss and run, Blaze and Winds knew it was serious and immediately followed. They would remove any barrier be it doors or people that got in Patch's way. They'd done it before and they would do it again. Blondie needed Patch and needed him now!

Team One realized something serious was up. They did not have the experience the JTF2 guys had with Sam and injuries. This was the first time he'd been hurt badly enough to require the hospital since joining SRU.

He usually avoided EMS for checkouts at the scene saying he was okay. Donner be damned, they all followed Blaze, Winds and Patch. Sam needed help, they knew without a doubt Patch knew what he needed and they would ensure he got the cooperation he needed to get it for Sam.

Commander Holleran watched the nine of them leave the room and a tight smile briefly crossed his face. Sam would be alright, those nine would ensure it. So he would stay here and deal with that asshole SIU agent. He would set him straight.

As he turned to face Donner, agent Stevens stormed over to Donner and icily said "Just what the hell do you think you are doing asshat! I am so lodging a formal complaint against you. You will be lucky to even have your job by tomorrow …".

As Kendall went on and on verbally lashing out at Donner, Holleran took a position slightly behind her. He assumed his best stern command stance and face and provided solid but silent support to Stevens.

The patrol officer moved quietly to a chair and slowly sank down thinking wow this is one profoundly unique day, never seen one like it in all my decades on the force. He wasn't sure what to expect when agent Stevens requested he join her as protection detail. But it certainly wasn't this. He still wasn't sure why she needed him here; she was doing a damned good job of protecting herself. Maybe it wasn't her she needed him to protect? He would wait until she finished whipping that idiot agent before he asked.

* * *

**_Hospital - ER Treatment Room_**

Nine people stormed through the ER looking for Sam. The looks on their faces were so fierce that everyone immediately moved out of their way. They arrived at Sam's bedside at nearly the same time as the doctor and nurse.

The doctor's description of _he will not speak or move and stares blankly_ had nothing to do with a mental state. It was clearly the result of intense physical pain. Of someone in so much pain they had tensed every muscle to prevent movement that would cause even greater pain.

The pain was most evident in his wide open pleading eyes. Pleading eyes not blank empty eyes. Why the hell couldn't they see the difference? Patch noted this was not the blank non-emotional mask he saw in the ravine, this was overwhelming physical pain.

Their hearts fragmented when they heard low, coarse sounds; barely distinguishable as words so desperately slowly escape his dry throat with the minimum possible movement, pain showing with each syllable.

"… please make it stop, please, … I can't take … any more, please, … no more pain, … please, no pain, oh god … please stop the pain."

"Blondie I'm here, I'll make the pain stop. Hold tight, it will go away soon I promise. I'm sorry I wasn't here. I'll make the pain stop" Patch crooned to Sam.

He looked directly at the doctor and angrily said "What and how much did you give him for the pain?"

The doctor grabbed the chart and handed to Patch. He scanned it and said "Why the HELL didn't you give him what I TOLD you to give him? I KNEW what he needed! Can't you tell PAIN when you see it? DAMN YOU!"

The doctor stared at him a moment then replied defensively "Per protocol we gave him the standard dosage based on his weight."

"But he is NOT standard issue. He's exceptional. You were told how to care for him and you did not do it" fumed Blaze.

Patch checked his anger, moved into medic mode and quickly outlined exactly what Sam needed to control the pain. After getting a curt nod of agreement from the doctor, Clare rushed to comply. Within minutes she was back with what was requested and began to add the medication via the IV line.

After giving instructions Patch leaned in close to Blondie. He placed one hand on Blondie's arm and gently squeezed as he murmured in his ear "It'll be okay in a moment, rest now, rest. Close your eyes buddy. Stand down, we've got your back. Stand down. Shhhh, pain will go now. It will go, hold on. I'm here. It should be easing now, that's right close your eyes. The pain will go now. Rest, please close your eyes. No more pain now."

Jules was at his other side and leaned in close gently threading her fingers through his hair as she whispered "We're here. Not going anywhere. There is no pace I'd rather be. Sleep now, close your eyes. You are safe. I'll keep you safe, we will keep you safe. Sam rest now, close your eyes, rest."

As Sam's eyes slowly drifted close the tension released from his body. Patch and Jules turned their heads towards each other and locked eyes. Both sets were filled with tears of compassion and they both mouthed "Thank you." Then they straighten up but Jules kept stroking his hair and Patch kept his hand on his arm.

With dread coloring his voice, Winds asked "How long was he awake?" not really wanting to know the answer.

Clare replied "About an hour and a half maybe closer to two. Why?"

Winds didn't answer he just hung his head, lifted his hand to his face and wiped away tears.

Greg had picked up on the reason for the question from the tone Winds used and his body language. He responded wearily "Because that is how long your patient has been stuck in a world of unbearable pain and unable to communicate and none of you noticed."

A horrified look took over Clare and Dr. Fraser's faces as they quickly left to care for other patients.

Greg, Ed, Lou, Wordy, Spike, Blaze and Winds all moved towards Sam and reached out to lay a comforting hand on him. They hadn't dared touch him before not wanting to cause more pain. The group stood silent, surrounding the bed, watching Sam sleep for a long time each in their own thoughts.

Seeing Sam's face relaxed and pain free now Spike said in a deadpan manner "I think our _Proper Care and Feeding of Samtastic_ manual needs some additional chapters."

Team One laughed. It was the JTF2 buddies turn to stare and wonder what was so funny.

"What exactly is a _'Proper Care and Feeding of Samtastic' _manual?" Blaze ventured.

"I think the nine of us need to have a serious exchange of information. Then a long talk with Sam" Ed replied.

Eight heads nodded in agreement. They decided that they would meet at SRU HQ tomorrow morning. The team was off duty but the briefing room would accommodate them all, a good place to meet.

A little while later Dr. Fraser cleared his throat to gain their attention. They turned their heads as one towards him but did not move. They were Sam's protective barrier and they would not allow anyone close to him at this moment.

Dr. Fraser had a look of contrition planted squarely on his face as he cautiously said "We need to move him to ICU now. Also Jim, I would like to have a discussion with you on proper dosing for Constable Braddock. I want enter it into his permanent medical charts so we never repeat the inexcusable episode that occurred here today. I would also like your opinion on giving him a sedative to help him sleep tonight."

Wordy stated in a voice that would brook no defiance "We go with him to the ICU."

The doctor nodded as he and Patch stepped away for their discussion. The rest opened ranks to allow the nurses prepare to move him. They encircled the gurney as they took him to the ICU. They all waited outside the glass paneled room as the nurses attached the necessary monitors. Patch rejoined the group just as the nurses finished and left.

* * *

**_Hospital - ICU - Outside Room A_**

The room was only large enough for two at a time. As they were deciding who should enter, Commander Holleran, the Head of SIU Scott Caldwell and the patrol officer approached the group.

Caldwell stated "I'd first like to apologize to each one of you regarding agent Donner's behavior. He clearly overstepped bounds. He will be dealt with appropriately. No assault charges will be brought against Constable Lane or Captain Blain."

Gesturing to the patrol officer Caldwell explained "This officer has been assigned protection detail and will be stationed outside Constable Braddock's room. I will allow each of you a moment with Constable Braddock to assure yourself of his well-being then you will need to leave."

Looking at the SRU team he continued "Afterwards you are to consider yourselves sequestered, no further discussion of today's cases with anyone. We will convene for statements and interviews tomorrow at one pm at SRU headquarters. Any questions?"

Blaze asked "We are not SRU, does that mean we have to leave?"

"Unfortunately yes, in the case of an injured subject officer the compassion protocol states that only family may stay" Caldwell answered.

Their faces dropped. No one wanted to leave Sam alone. "Could we just remain outside the room without speaking to him, just so if he wakes he knows he is not alone?" Patch tried.

"No I'm sorry that is not allowed. It is also doubtful he will wake tonight. The doctor informed me he will be giving him a strong sedative shortly to help him sleep and recover" Caldwell replied.

"You all have had one hell of a day. You are dead on your feet. Go home, sleep. That's an order. Braddock will be okay. I need you clear headed and focused tomorrow" Holleran stated.

They all realized that they had no choice at this point. They also agreed they all were dead on their feet. He was right, Sam would be okay now. Patch had assured them that once the proper meds were given the intense pain Sam was in would subside quickly as he slept through it. He said when he awoke Sam would only feel a normal level of pain associated with his injuries. He also told them the doctor was now fully briefed on Sam's needs and fully onboard with his recommendations.

Patch invited Blaze and Winds to stay at his apartment since they were planning to meet up with the SRU team in the morning to discuss additions to this _'Proper Care and Feeding of Samtastic'_ manual Spike was talking about.

They each had a short visit with Sam then the group left the hospital together.

The patrol officer slumped down into the chair next to the room and sighed.

* * *

**_Hospital - ICU - Inside Room A - One hour later_**

Sam woke slowly keeping his eyes closed and his breathing steady; an innate habit born of need. Ookay dokey time to me assess, wait wrong order, assess ne, me, ahh hell, should be fun.

Physical? Injured, yep. Feels like I went ten rounds with my hands tied behind my back, not fair, not fair at all. Wait I did. Sorta, wrap, mean crap, Basto got the drop on me after we shared such nice little trip down the ravine. Sucks. I'm a mummy, wrapped in too much gauze.

Deep breath in, crap no that hurts. Shallow breaths it is. Hey I got new holes in me, great. Ooh and stitches, gonna lose the pretty boy face if I keep gettin stitches there. Not much pain now, well no duh must be pumped full of the good shit, loopy, definitely sucky weird feeling, think no straight, hey the only part that doesn't hurt is my … wait nope hurts too. Ah crap hate this loopy shit.

Where the fuck am I? Hospital, definitely hospital. Damned incessant beeping, not nice for sleeping beep damn beep beep beep damn beep shut the fuck up, IV, uncomfortable bed, nicer than ravine. Not by much

Ok mental? yeah well that'd be fucked up, can't worth think shit, yeah gonna leave this, later. Sleep now. Sleep good nighty night

Sam drifted off to into a light sleep.

* * *

**_Hospital - ICU - Outside Room A - One hour later_**

A brown haired man in a hospital janitor uniform stopped to talk to the officer. "Long night?" he asked.

"Had longer" the officer replied.

"I know what it is like, pulled many night guard duty when I was in the military. On my way to get a coffee, could I get you one?" the man queried.

"That'd be nice, no cream, three sugars please" the officer answered.

"Be back in a minute" the man said as he left to get the coffee. Five minutes later he returned with the coffee and they had a short conversation about mundane things before the man left. The officer slowly sipped his coffee.

* * *

**_Hospital - ICU - Inside Room A - Forty-five minutes later_**

A man slipped into Sam's room unnoticed by the now sleeping patrol officer. Slipping him the sleeping pill had been easier than expected. The idiot will be out for hours and never even know it. Some people were just so trusting.

Now to take care of this cocky son of a bitch …


	14. Bedtime for Team One

**Bedtime for Team One &amp; Protection Detail**

* * *

**_Jules's Home_**

Jules opened her door and sluggishly closed and locked it behind her. She was so worn-out, had climbed up and down so many ravines today. Both physical and mental she realized. The stairs to her bedroom looked like Mt. Everest. She wasn't up to scaling another mountain so headed directly to the living room couch.

She would shower in the morning she thought as she laid down tucking one of the couch pillows under her head and pulling the throw blanket over her. Sleep is what she needed now. She was emotionally spent.

As she settled in her mind wandered a bit and she realized damn I stroked his hair again in front of the guys. They are gonna tease me big time, but it was worth it.

Her last thought before falling into an exhausted sleep was whoa my walls are the same color blue as his gorgeous eyes.

* * *

**_Spike's Home_**

Spike quietly let himself into the house. He did not want to wake his parents. Today had been unparalleled to any he had before.

He saw the note on the fridge from his mom. What a wonderful mother she was, she always took care of him; a huge dinner plate ready for reheating. Looked delicious but he was too wrung out to eat.

He had a lot of questions for the JTF2 guys. Things they needed to know but didn't necessarily want to know. He needed to be well rested to deal with the raw emotions that would come with the answers he expected to get.

He'd just take a quick shower then sleep.

* * *

**_Lou's Apartment_**

Lou sat at the kitchen table finishing off a quick sandwich. He'd been in a lot of bad situations in his youth, did things he wished he hadn't, things that still hurt today if he thought too closely about them.

He had wanted desperately to be something different, something better, to help people instead of hurt them. Thinking over the past few months he saw those same feelings reflected in Sam.

Tomorrow should be interesting, give him insight so he could help Sam if he ever wanted to talk to anyone. Not that he thought he would, he and Sam were alike there as well. My past stays in the past, forward is the only direction.

He switched off the light as he left the kitchen and headed for bed.

* * *

**_Wordy's Home_**

Wordy walked slowly down the hall and opened the door to Allie's room. His sweet little girl was nestled safely in her bed. He didn't want to see her reaction when she saw Sam at the BBQ next week. His face would still show in bright colors the damage from today. Allie adored Sam and it would break her heart. He stepped in and gave her a kiss and tucked her covers around her.

After he showered he slid carefully into bed so he would not wake Shel, scooted in close and placed his arm over her. She was his rock, his port in the storm that allowed him to do the things he did and still feel safe and cared for.

He wondered if Sam had someone like that, if he didn't, he needed one the thought as sleep swiftly overtook him.

* * *

**_Ed's Home_**

Ed rearmed the alarm after entering his home. Sophie had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for him tonight. The TV was on with the volume turned down low. The news was on.

He saw Sam's official SRU picture flash on the screen followed by an amateur video taken at the gas station incident. He grabbed the remote and turned up the volume. He sat dumbfounded as a newscast from earlier that night was replayed.

Man he hated the inane commentary and wondered how much of this garbage Sophie and Clark had watched. He switched off the TV and lightly shook Sophie awake. She looked at him and smiled then wrapped her arms around him and said "Bad day?"

He just nodded drawing comfort from her warm embrace as they stood and headed towards the bedroom.

* * *

**_Greg's Home_**

Greg lay in bed, the grime of the day cleansed from his body but not his mind. He could not have ever imagined what had happened to his team today. They dealt with emotionally charged situations all the time, but nothing could compare to today.

He hoped nothing would ever come even remotely close to this again. They had endured so much today and except for two times acted professionally. There was nothing to forgive for those two times, they all were human and they had feelings.

This team was family and family protected one another. He was so very proud of all of them. The rookie sure had a complex and agonizing past. Sure had a lot of names too, just special like that.

As sleep came for him he thought, I'd be proud to have him as my son.

* * *

**_Hospital - ICU - Outside Room A _**

Patrol officer Marc Fergus thought the coffee sure tasted weird at the first small sip. After decades on the force he had learned to listen to his gut feelings. Something was kicking it into high gear.

As he engaged the janitor in everyday conversation, nothing out of the ordinary and highly forgettable, as he probed for information. "So if I need another cup of joe, where would I find it?" he lightly asked.

The janitor happily told him where and offered up that anyone on the floor was welcome. That in fact he had just met another haggard looking guy grabbing a cup. Said that no one ever looked rested in the ICU unit as he shook his head.

"Thanks, appreciate it. I'll let you get back to it" Fergus said with a smile and nod as he sat back down in the chair and pretended to take another sip.

As the janitor walked away, Fergus thought, I have a job to do, protect the sleeping young officer from whatever was coming. He was not at all comfortable with the plan but it was not his call to make. They wanted to catch the guy in the act so they could make the charges stick, whatever they might end up being.

Shortly after Team One and those other guys ran into the ER, Donner had stomped out of the hospital looking like a baby whose candy had been taken away. Just he, agent Stevens and Commander Holleran were left in the waiting room. Holleran made a phone call and a short time later the Head of SIU, Scott Caldwell arrived.

Holleran and Stevens expressed concerns over Donner's behavior today. Caldwell confirmed he had been having concerns after several incidents had been reported to him from a lawyer named Gibbons. Gibbons did not understand the hostility that Donner always displayed towards Constable Braddock. Gibbons had shared with Caldwell that since his first encounter with the guy. When he found how far off protocol he had gone with Braddock he had made sure he was always there before Braddock arrived if the agent in charge was Donner.

He told Caldwell that Donner seemed to go out of his way to make Sam review every grotesque element in excruciating detail multiple times even when they were irrelevant to determining if it was a good shoot. An SRU officer's job was hard enough, especially when they were forced to end a life. They had both agreed that you could always see the pain in their eyes and that it was never easy for them. They were men and women who wanted to save people and it hurt them when they couldn't. The interview process was necessary to maintain accountability but shouldn't be used as a weapon to inflict more pain on the officer.

Caldwell, Holleran and Stevens had discussed what could be done about the situation. Donner had done nothing illegal, pushed protocol yes, but nothing that would warrant any legal or official action like dismissal. Steven's voiced her concern that after the altercation tonight that Donner would probably do something to Braddock while he was vulnerable. She said Donner was looking more and more unstable over the past few weeks and he would often rant in the office about Braddock.

They devised a plan. Fergus would have preferred it to include Braddock's teammates but Holleran rightly insisted that they were too exhausted and too personally involved to stay objective. He also indicated that Donner would recognize any SRU officer so they had to use normal officers in plain clothes so as to not tip him off if he showed up. They needed to let it play out fully, well not quite fully, if the intention was deadly. Donner's behavior of late indicated to them they were dealing with an irrational issue but had no clue what it was.

So Fergus had alerted the others via the agreed upon signal, rolling his head and rubbing his neck, that he thought something was in play when he tasted the coffee. He was pretty sure the janitor was just an opportune tool used by Donner, but the others would detain him and investigate to be sure. He took another pretend drink of the coffee, set the cup on the floor then leaned back, relaxed and closed his eyes as if he was nodding off. He was in fact fully alert.

It took forty-five minutes after getting the coffee before Donner made his move and entered Sam's room.

* * *

**_Hospital - ICU - Inside Room A_**

Donner was so happy the opportunity had presented itself for him to easily get around the guard to Sam's room. He'd slipped the sleeping powder into the coffee as the janitor turned to get the sugar, so easy. The guard would be out for hours and he could take his time with the cocky son of a bitch.

He'd bring him down fully this time, torture him with emotions, he'd finish him off the best way he knew. All those interview questions had a purpose; they showed him how to hurt him most. Sam would pay for what he had done all those years ago. He laughed softly and maliciously as he watched the SOB sleep. He was going to enjoy this; all he needed now was for Sam to wake.

Senses instantly alert, danger his gut was telling him, someone was in the room with him. Breathing kept steady as to not alert whomever it was that he was awake. Sam heard a quiet laugh that unnerved him. Who was it?

Better to remain as is and gather my strength and wits,. Yes he could think now, good. He had not surveyed the room when he woke earlier. Not that it would have helped; he was too loopy before to even recognize if there was anything close he could use to protect himself.

He admitted to himself he was not doing so great physically right now; in pain, but manageable pain. He was physically and mentally exhausted. Hand to hand would be really hard to do in his current state. Sam hoped it didn't come to that. Let them make the first move he thought. So he waited.

"Guess I'm just gonna have to wake this bastard up" Donner sneered after ten minutes in the room. He threw his empty coffee cup at Sam's head and said "Wake up asshole".

Damn okay maybe I should have opened my eyes sooner Sam thought as he allowed his eyes to open and adjust to the dim light in the room. "Ow, what the hell?" he said aloud as he turned to look at the person who threw something and rubbed his temple where it had struck.

"Nap time is over Braddock" he returned, yes he read the transcripts of today's calls and thought the nap jokes were stupid.

"Donner, what the hell, why are you here?" Sam retorted.

"Well I'd like to get some sleep too. You were the subject officer in six kills today including the murder of an officer under your command. I need information and I'm not waiting any longer" Donner replied with a snarl.

"Five lethal actions not six. I know SIU protocol now Donner, this can wait until I'm released. Don't you read your own protocol manual? Or do you just like interviewing me while I'm undressed?" he replied irritated. He couldn't help adding the last comment, not the best idea to antagonize him right now. But Sam hurt and he didn't want to put up with the man's shit tonight, didn't have the stamina. Donner just glared at him.

Tired of the staring contest, Sam said firmly "You've been on my case since the first time we met. I don't know what your problem is with me. But for now you need to get out and let me rest."

Damn that used up most of my strength Sam thought. God he was so tired right now. He carefully scanned the area. He noticed the patrol officer outside his door leaning back in a chair. Why? Oh 'protection was protocol for injured subject officers until after the interview'. Good, back up if needed. He relaxed a bit but stared directly at Donner and waited for him to leave.

Sam saw hatred and something else disturbing flare in Donner's eyes. Whatever this is it is not good. This guy is on a razor's edge. He was just about to call out to the patrol officer to remove Donner when the man took a menacing step toward him. Sam tensed.

Donner ranted "You are a destroyer. You ruin everything in your path. You always have. There is nothing in your life left UNTAINTED. Today, in the span of thirteen hours you murdered SIX PEOPLE! But that is only a small portion of the blood you have on your hands. You are not worthy, you destroy families. You should have died years ago! Why didn't you DIE? If you would just DIE people would be safe."

Taking another step towards Sam, Donner taunted with malice in his voice "Your best friend Matt would still be alive. How many more friends have you MURDERED? So many heads have you BLOWN off from long distance. Watched their bodies fall BLOOD splattering everywhere. You are a killer, that's all you've ever been. That's all you will ever be. KILLER! MURDERER!"

"You can't save anyone. Everyone you care about will DIE because of YOU. No one is safe with you. You should just DIE" Donner taunted.

Sam reeled from the onslaught, no shield to protect him. His emotional walls had not been refortified yet. He lay wide open to attack. Venom laced words entered his bloodstream the poison rapidly pulsed toward his heart.

Donner continued to slash into his soul "SIX! Six Braddock! Do you hear me? Six people you killed today! Without a second thought. In cold blood. You murdered SIX PEOPLE! You are so sure of yourself, so cocky, too fast on the trigger. Your badge is NOT a license to KILL. You murdered Aaron you are a MURDERER. Even if you didn't pull the trigger you killed him. How can YOU even believe you are fit to be an SRU officer? You put your team at risk every time. With every person you kill you put BLOOD on THEIR HANDS TOO!"

Sam fixated on one word 'murderer'. I was just doing my job. Am I a murderer? White-hot pain perforated his soul and it started to bleed.

Vile words continued to spew from Donner's mouth "You should just DIE and save the world from all the harm you do. You say you want to protect but all you do is KILL. I know how MANY people you have MURDERED, the EXACT NUMBER. You are worse than any serial killer ever known. You deserve to DIE. You do not deserve to be safe. Murderer!"

Slammed hard, powerless to make him stop, thoughts swirled in Sam's head. He had killed so many. Every single one a rip in his soul; it was almost completely shredded. So much blood on his hands and now his soul bled and he could not staunch the wound. Emotional pain so visceral engulfed him as he turned and vomited violently.

A horrifying gleeful look entered Donner's eyes as he could see he was having the impact he wanted on Sam. The lost, hurt and self-disgust look that appeared on his face just before he hurled delighted him. He would make him hurt, repayment for all the hurt he had caused. He watch as Sam vomited several times until nothing was left but dry heaves.

* * *

**_Hospital - ICU - Outside Room A_**

Officer Fergus had been itching to go in and put a stop to it after the first few comments. Caldwell kept saying no, they didn't have anything they could charge him with; saying hurtful thing was not illegal. Now the kid was retching how much could he take? No one could stay objective hearing this, the guy would be dead already if Team One was here.

Holleran was on the brink and about to pull the plug, the ability to charge the asshole with anything be damned. He could not put his godson through anymore of this. The kid had suffered too much for one person to bear. He could see Sam starting to drown in cruelty of the words spewed forth.

* * *

**_Hospital - ICU - Inside Room A_**

Survival instinct tried to kick in. Sam puked again then gagged out "Why? Why are you doing this?"

Donner, entirely lost to his psychosis lashed out "You killed my family. You murdered my dad. I was just thirteen and you killed him. You did not pull Sara out of the way. You let her get hit. You KILLED my dad!"

"How did I kill your dad?" Sam moaned as his stomach rolled again, not able to comprehend.

"You did not save Sara. You looked at my dad with your sad, lost eyes. You made him shoot himself in the head. You destroyed my family. YOU KILLED HIM."

Understanding so gut wrenching hit Holleran he gasped out "Oh my god, he's the son of the driver that killed Sara. The driver committed suicide a week later. Couldn't live with the fact he killed a little girl. Sam doesn't know anything about that, we never told him."

Caldwell stared at Holleran.

Attention was drawn back to the room as Donner started to hysterically laugh rocking back and forth on his heels as he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets.

Sam was reaching the end of his physical endurance as he retched again then turned to Donner with eyes that sadly asked 'why'.

Donner screeched "Now I kill you!" as he ripped a gun from his jacket and aimed at Sam's head.

BANG!


	15. Matt, Care & Rebuilding

**Matt, Care, One-sided Conversations &amp; Rebuilding**

* * *

**_Hospital - ICU - Inside Room A_**

All hell broke loose in Sam's ICU room; so many running in to help. Donner's dead body lay on the floor of the room. One second the gun had been pointed at Sam's head. A fraction of a second later, Donner turned the gun on himself and blew his brains out.

Blood was pooling on the floor. So close to Sam when he did it, Sam was now covered in Donner's blood. It splattered across his face and chest, dripping from his arms and hair and covering his hands.

Sam's mind seemed to be lost at sea. It was floating somewhere off the coast of eternity. He held his breath, always at the wrong place at the wrong time. How many moments til the next time? He simply stared. His gaze riveted to his hands. How appropriate they were now literally as well as figuratively covered in blood.

Everyone stopped instantaneously and listened keenly when they heard Sam speak with a very fragile voice.

"Matt. I'm losing my fucking mind, don't let me disappear, help me, please."

"Matt. I'm falling down, please hold on to me, I will hear your voice always."

"Matt. Nothing is left, my safe place is in ruins, help me rebuild the walls."

_Heard by only Sam "Hey Blondie, I'm here buddy. Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go."_

A small chuckle emitted from Sam.

"Matt. Wait for me. I'm coming."

Sam's face paled, vision narrowed, muscles slackened as he drifted away into a sea of nothingness.

Holleran leaned in close to an unconscious Sam and spoke in an urgent whisper for Sam's ears only "Don't break. Be strong. Rebuild. Listen to Matt."

"Sir ….. Sir …. Sir!" Holleran finally registered someone spoke to him. He turned his head and saw a young nurse and several others. "Sir we need to take care of him now." He nodded and shifted so they could do their work.

They needed to cleanup Sam, wanted to move him to another room away from the memories and bloody mess in this one quickly. A nurse came over with a cloth ready to wash him as an investigator stepped into her path. "Hold. We need to get photos first for the files" he said formally. The nurse looked at him aghast.

Holleran was angry and he would not allow it. He wanted no tangible images of Sam like this. It hurt too much and if they ever found their way to the media he'd be dead. He wouldn't allow images of Sam in distress ever to be released again.

The General would be sure he died painfully; not that he didn't deserve it after tonight's fiasco. In a booming voice said "NO, hell no, there will be no pictures taken of Constable Braddock in this state. The General would not allow it."

"It's procedure Commander. What does a General have to do with this anyway it is a police matter?" the investigator retorted.

How did he let that comment slip out, quick make up something plausible. "Constable Braddock is former JTF2, son of General Braddock, Commander of JTF2. The images, if ever leaked, could compromise security. So no photos will be taken. There are enough witnesses to gather statements from. Photos not necessary. Nurse please proceed and quickly. Get that damned man's blood off my godson" Holleran demanded.

The investigator gave him a quizzical look 'General', 'godson'? He decided to accept the flimsy, hastily formed reason. His skill told him there was way more to this but the SRU Commander was right there were enough witnesses and he would let this go.

The nurse was more than happy to comply and immediately set to her work and delicately washed the blood from his face, neck, arms and hands and rinsed it from his hair. She left no trace of the other man's blood on the young cop. One of the orderlies stripped off the blood and vomit splattered gown placing it in an evidence bag. He was about to put on a clean one when Holleran stopped him.

"A favor please. Dress him in pants of some sort and t-shirt. He will feel more comfortable and more in control. It is important" Holleran implored looking directly at the nurse in charge.

The orderly hesitated and looked questioningly at the nurse who nodded as she said "I'll see if I can find something, scrubs maybe."

She was about to go when the orderly piped up "We are about the same size. I have a clean pair of sweats and t-shirt in my locker. I don't mind, it's a small thing I can do."

The nurse smiled and nodded as the orderly trotted off to get them. They knew who this officer was from the news accounts and after all he'd gone through today wanted to help in any way they could.

When the orderly returned with the clothes they transferred Sam to a new bed, one not covered in blood. Then dressed him quickly in a pair of very soft dark gray sweats, a black t-shirt and a pair of warm socks. The orderly had grabbed the socks out of his locker too because just as he left to get the clothes his hand had brush against the man's feet. They were ice cold; it was a small comfort he could offer. He had learned that sometimes it was the small things had the greatest impact. They covered him with a warm blanket. Finally, Sam was moved to another room and reattached the monitors.

* * *

**_Hospital - ICU - Outside Room D_**

Officer Fergus had watched quietly standing out of the way. Once Sam was in the new room he moved the chair to the front of it and promptly took up position. He would only allow the medical staff entry, no one else not even the Commander. The kid needed rest and quiet and he would make sure he got it even if it cost him his job or his life.

Holleran watched silently as they did their work. Sam was too young to have had this much pain. It hurt watching what it did to him.

Until now he had carefully hidden the fact that Sam was his godson and that he knew Sam since he was just a boy. He didn't want to cause him any issues at SRU like those he had to endure being the son of the General. He realized he'd undone that earlier tonight by giving details of Sara's death to Team One. He was sure Greg would ask him about it. And now it was in the record of this incident. He prayed it would not cause Sam more problems.

Caldwell and Stevens carefully approached Holleran outside Sam's new room. Stevens could see he was deeply affected by what had just happened to Sam. Who wasn't?

The haunting words Sam spoke before passing out hit her the hardest. He was talking to his dead friend, asking for help, the one he had accidentally killed. She was scared by what he meant when he said _'Wait for me. I'm coming.'_ Did it mean he was planning on joining Matt? She sincerely hoped not.

Holleran looked at them and said "Team One is going to want our hides for this one. I don't blame them. We promised them he would be safe. Made them leave. We nearly got him killed. Sam would be dead now if Donner didn't turn the gun on himself. I screwed up."

Stevens had trouble maintaining her composure as she spoke "Sir, I'm so sorry. I knew Donner was losing it but never imagined this. We screwed up." She felt that she shoulder part of the blame.

"Norman, if we can be of any help just let me know. This is just so, so... Hell I have no words for what this is. Had no idea Donner was over the edge. What did you mean he was the son of the driver that killed Sara?" Caldwell said guardedly.

"Caldwell, we may need to push the interview sessions out a day or so. I trust you will allow Team One and the JTF2 men access to Braddock. I will be assigning Team One as protection detail beginning tomorrow. Consider the JTF2 men as his family" Holleran stated decisively choosing to ignore his question about Sara for now at least.

Realizing he was not going to get an answer to his Sara question Caldwell responded "It is outside protocol. But given that this is all way outside protocol I will agree on the condition that they do not speak with him regarding the shootings until he has been interviewed. We must speak with Braddock as soon as possible because he is the only one that can shed light on how Constable Plouffe and the two subjects died. Aaron's family needs to know what happened."

"Agreed but I will not push Sam at this time. He is in a fragile state both mentally and physically. His well-being is my priority" Holleran returned as new concern entered his mind. Might be nothing to it but he would have to make the call. If he didn't and there was an issue he truly would be dead.

They stood watching Sam for a few moments. Caldwell and Stevens reluctantly took their leave. Steven said she would check in at one pm to see if Team One was available for interviews and if not reschedule them.

Holleran pulled out his phone and dialed a number from memory. It rang three times before being answered.

_[listens]_

"Hello, Will." _[listens]_

"Yes it's Norm. He's not doing well, was talking to Matt." _[listens]_

Holleran gave a synopsis of the full day. _[listens]_

"Yes, I'm concerned. We might have a problem." _[listens]_

"No not that. That is resolved. Nicely too. They have his back." _[listens]_

"It's related to what you discovered three months ago. Result of a call today."_ [listens]_

"The constable's name was Aaron Plouffe." _[listens]_

"Yes. Where is he?" _[listens]_

"That's not good. I'd like you to assign Captain Blain." _[listens]_

"I'm sure he's right for the job. Still very protective. Almost strangled Donner. Should have let him." _[listens] _and smirks.

"So you agree for Blain?" _[listens]_

"I understand. I need to tell his team too." _[listens]_

"He is one of them. After tonight's incident I'll be lucky to be to have any skin left when I tell them." _[listens]_

"Then I'll see you soon." Holleran hung up the phone.

He looked at officer Fergus. "If he wakes and wants to leave the hospital, he will find a way to leave. Of that there is absolutely no doubt even if it is AMA. If he tries to leave, you are to tell him you have orders to take him to SRU HQ. Tell him that is the only place you are allowed to take him. Tell him that if he is well enough to leave the hospital, he is ordered to appear at SRU HQ for debriefing immediately. Understood?"

"Yes Sir. But may I ask you something?" Fergus looked somewhat skeptical.

"Yes" Holleran replied.

"Why would that work? And Why SRU HQ?" he asked.

Holleran sighed "He always follows orders. It is ingrained in him. Be sure you use the term 'ordered'. This is for his protection. He hates hospitals and in his current condition he needs protection. He will get that at SRU HQ."

Holleran took one last look in at Sam and sighed deeply then turned to leave. An afterthought struck him and turned back to the officer "You are on protection detail until you are relieved by someone from Team One only or you drop him off at SRU HQ. Do you remember what they look like?"

"Yes. Sir. Never will forget their faces" Fergus responded. He wouldn't ever forget them. Watching them all tonight had seared their faces in his mind.

"Good. Please keep him safe" with that Holleran turned and left. Tomorrow, well actually in a few hours he would have to face Sam's team and fill them in on this. It wasn't going to be pretty.

* * *

**_Patch's Apartment_**

Blaze just could not sleep. He had a gut feeling something wasn't right but couldn't make it coherent. After arriving at the apartment they had all showered. Unfortunately he and Winds put the same dirty clothes on, except for clean borrowed t-shirts from Patch. Didn't really faze them; been worse, weeks without showers sometimes.

He contacted his commander, Major White, and informed him of the situation and they were granted a two day leave. Patch called into his boss to request the next week off. After explaining why, his boss was very accommodating, he was surprised his paramedic knew the now famous Constable Braddock.

They had grabbed a quick bite to eat then he and Winds stretched out on the couches. Patch headed off to his bed. But Blaze just lay there a very long time staring at the ceiling unable to sleep, out of character for a special ops guy. He was bugged by it.

His eyes had just barely closed sleep finally coming when his phone vibrated. Instantly awake again. He picked up the phone, noted the time displayed 0330, and answered.

"Captain Blain." _[listens]_

"Yes Colonel, what can I do for you?" _[listens]_

"Yes sir. Details?" _[listens]_

"For who sir?" _[listens]_

"Yes sir. Why?" _[listens]_

"Really, what?" _[listens]_

"I'm aware of that. Why is that relevant? Wait, any relation to the Major?" _[listens]_

"He's enroute here. Are we to meet with him?" _[listens]_

"Where?" _[listens]_

"Got it. 1800 hours. When do we start?" _[listens]_

"Understood 0600. Is he covered between now and until we take over?" _[listens]_

"Can we go sooner?" _[listens]_

"Roger that. Any additional information sir?" _[listens]_

"Understood" Blaze concluded but thinking to himself like he'd really give a shit as he closed his phone ending the call.

He looked at the time 0345. Need to be there at 0600. Okay a one hour nap, then up and at it. Shit Blondie, can't you catch a break he thought as he closed his eyes to sleep.

* * *

**_Hospital - ICU - Inside Room D_**

At the four am shift change the young nurse who had cleansed away all the blood briefed a grandmotherly looking nurse on all that had transpired with the patient she was assigned. They shared a sad look and sigh before the young nurse left. Tonight had taken a huge toll on her. Working ICU was difficult most days but tonight was beyond compare. Time to go home and get some sleep.

The grandmotherly nurse was doing her beginning shift check of Sam's vitals and status when she noticed that Sam's eyes were rapidly moving behind closed lids. Good she thought, REM sleep, good, he's dreaming. It helps sort things out. Even bad ones do that. But this one looks pleasant he wasn't struggling against it she thought to herself.

In Sam's mind it was real …

_Sitting down Matt called out "Hey Blondie, Blondie. Yeah you. Come sit, take a break. I want you to listen to this song. Come on buddy. Give it a chance. I know you just 'love' the mellow sounds of easy rock." Matt laughed._

_Becoming serious Matt continued "__Just listen dude. Sit down and listen now, it will help you. Come on, ya need a break buddy, we are done rebuilding the walls. That was hard work I know. You now have your safe place again. You placed everything back inside." _

_Finally Sam sat down next to Matt. Then Matt put his arm around his shoulders "I know you still have to sort through all this. Not gonna lie to ya buddy, it's gonna be hard. But you can do it. You did it before. You will get through it again. _

_Sam put his head in his hands and started to cry. Matt pulled him closer, holding tight "Let it out buddy. Let the pain go. I know. I know buddy, it hurts, hurts real bad, so rest a moment. Just sit with me and listen I want you to remember this when you wake."_

_Matt held his brother close and secure offering comfort as they listened to Defending Our Lives by Jon Heintz._

_When it was done Matt lifted Sam's head and made him look at him. Firmly Matt stated "That's what I want you to remember Blondie, I won't let you down. I will defend our lives. You need to smile into the faces of our enemies. Remember you are who you are and that is good. You need to remember the beauty of life."_

_His face clearly showing the love he had for his brother Matt said "Live for us, live for me. Live for you! I'll always be here in your heart, in your mind. I will always be the defender of your soul. I won't let you down." _

_Matt stood up "__Hey Blondie I gotta go now, time for you to nap. Remember you promised me to be strong, to heal, to live, to laugh and to smile. Remember, I won't let you down." _

_Sam watched as Matt faded away "Thanks Matt. I promise to live and find the beauty in life."_

As she finished her checks the nurse saw a faint smile cross his face as his body relaxed into a deep healing sleep. She gently stroked his blonde hair, gave his forehead a gentle kiss and whispered "Thank you. Find peace. You are a good man Sam Braddock. My granddaughter Sara says your soul is safe." Then nurse Clarry left the room.


	16. Explosion & I'm Good

**Explosion &amp; I'm Good**

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Dispatch Desk_**

It was only four forty-five am and technically the team did not need to be at SRU HQ until six am. Holleran had sent out the text early this morning that changed up the time the team needed to be here. Greg approached the front desk upon entering "Morning Winnie" he said as he stopped and handed her a cup of coffee.

She smiled "Thanks. How'd you know this is what I needed right now?" and took a long slow drink. "Ahh caffeine, the true nectar of the gods. You are in early. Holleran said you guys were not due until six" she said.

"Force of habit, five am workout and all" he replied as she gave him an 'I don't believe you look'. "Actually wanted to see if I could catch the Commander before the meeting. Is he here yet?" Greg asked.

"He's in the briefing room. He was here when I got here. I think here's been here since he left the hospital" Winnie answered.

"Thanks" he nodded and headed towards the briefing room. He had a few questions for Holleran he wanted answers to before the team showed up. First why did he move the time up from one pm to six am? His team was exhausted and needed time to recoup.

Second, just how well did he know Sam? His understanding of the incident with Sara implied he knew him a long time, at least 20 years. Greg hadn't pushed for an explanation of why Sam joined the way he had. But with all that had happened yesterday, he needed to know more about the rookie's past.

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Briefing Room_**

As he walked in he found Holleran seated in a chair with his arms folded on the table and he head on his arms. Asleep. The man looked drained and wrung out even in sleep. Understandable with the day all the officers under his command had had yesterday. It was hard to be the one in charge when an officer was injured or worse died. Both had happened yesterday.

Greg did not really know Aaron and hadn't liked hearing he had said foul things about Sam and questioned his commands putting Bravo team at risk. However, he was still an SRU officer, a man, someone that put his life on the line to help others and in the process had paid the ultimate price.

Aaron would still be considered an honored member of SRU. His behavior would be forgiven. Everyone had a bad day every now and then. They were human after all and life was many shades of gray.

Had it been a few months ago, everyone on Team One, sans Sam, could have been vilified if something like that had happened and they lost their life. Luckily they had gotten the opportunity to fix their error. He'd like to think Aaron would have too if he had had the chance. It was sad he had died. Greg hoped his family would heal from the loss and find solace knowing their son was protecting others.

Greg had been standing there in deep in thought for several minutes. He was deciding whether or not to wake the Commander when Eddie sidled up next to him.

"He looks awful, we should let him sleep until absolutely necessary to wake him" Ed quietly said.

"How do you always know what I'm thinking Eddie?" Greg responded with a smile.

"Guess I'm just special like that" he intoned with a quirk of his head and glint of mischief in his eyes. "Let's talk in the locker room" he said as he started down the hall.

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Men's Locker Room_**

When they entered the locker room the rest of the team, including Jules, minus Sam, were already there sitting on the benches. Greg thought they all were creatures of habit; all here by five am as would be on any normal day. Greg had a feeling that today was going to be another not-normal day for his team. He just hoped it didn't bring more pain to his family. Some looked more rested than others but there was still a look of fatigue on each.

"So, I guess the debriefing puts our Care and Feeding discussion with Sam's buddies on hold" Spike stated.

"Looks that way" Greg responded.

"Any idea why they rescheduled for so early?" Jules asked. She was really upset when she got the text telling her to be here at six am. She had wanted to stop by the hospital to check on Sam before coming in and visiting hours didn't start until nine am.

"None. It is odd. I just wish I had had time to check in on Sam" Greg replied. There were nods from everyone indicating that had been the plan for each of them. "Maybe Winnie can get an update for us while we debrief" he offered. Spike and Jules looked at him with hopeful wide eyes and shook their heads yes.

Wordy remarked "It would be great if she could, been very worried about him all night." Another round of nodded heads showed they all had the same feeling. "That was one awful day for him. I don't know how he does it?"

"Does what?" asked Lou.

"Processes his emotions, tucks things into slots. Must be a special ops training thing. I'd be a wilted mess, would lose my fucking mind, if I had to go through everything he had to yesterday. I'm just really sad it occurred yesterday. It tainted what should have been a great day" Wordy said shaking his head.

He was pinned by a chorus of confused looks but it was Spike that queried "What do you mean?"

Wordy looked at each of them and he saw the nod of recognition in Ed and Greg's faces. He clarified for the others "Did you notice that Sam had a 'real' smile yesterday morning. Not just one he puts on, but one that went deep and could be seen in his eyes?"

Looks of contemplation crossed their faces and then slow nods.

"I think he finally felt like he was a true member of this team, part of the family. That he was accepted and belonged here. It was like he had already figured out how the day was 'totally awesome and unique'. Sam had a look of profound happiness as we all offered up ways it could be. Then the day happened. I'm worried what that has done to him" Wordy finished.

Just then Brett, of Team Five, opened the door and looked in "Hoped to find you in here, there's two guys in fatigues and one in civies at the desk, looking for you. Said they were told to be here at 0600. By the way, how's Sam?"

Greg checked his watch, 5:45 am. He wondered why they were here so early. "Coming. As for Sam he should be okay, a bit beat up" Greg did not want to share the full details. Especially about Sam being stuck in unspeakable pain for two hours and no one knowing. So he just continued "They kept him over for observation last night. Hoping to get an update soon."

"Glad to hear it. He was all the news could talk about last night" Brett chortled. "Bet he's gonna love that. Get all those ladies swooning over him? My sister had a few friends over last night and all they could talk about was Sam and how sweet it was when he kissed that little girl. They all fought about who would be the best girlfriend for him" he hooted with laughter.

Jules tensed, for some reason that comment made her angry. She didn't understand why so just smiled and laughed with the others as they rose to go meet with the JTF2 buddies.

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Dispatch Desk_**

Blaze was the first to see them exit the locker room and addressed his comments to Greg "Sergeant Parker, good to see you looking a bit rested this morning." Then extended his hand to shake Greg's as he said "Is Commander Holleran here yet? I was ordered to be here at 0600 for briefing on the new situation?"

To Greg, Blaze sounded extremely tired and was exuding a high level of concern. He was using a formal carriage of his body, indicating he was here on business and asked directly whether the Commander was here. He had just clearly said 'briefing on the new situation'. Something was up, Greg was worried. He'd bet it had to do with Sam. The question was what was the 'new situation'.

Greg responded "Commander Holleran is in the briefing room. How about all of you go grab a cup of our wonderful coffee then meet me in the briefing room. I'll let Holleran know we are all here and ready. Hey Ed, would you grab one for me and the Commander while you're at it?"

Ed nodded as they headed to the break-room. He knew why they were sent to get coffee. Greg wanted to have an opportunity to wake Holleran first.

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Briefing Room_**

The Commander and Greg were standing next to the windows looking out as the team plus the JTF2 guys entered. They dispersed around the table and took their seats.

Patch leaned over to Spike and said "You're wonderful coffee tastes like it was made of boiled boots" making a grimace.

"That's why we usually take turns on Timmy runs. It was Lou and my turn yesterday. Sam and Jules were up for today. Things changed so we gotta make due" Spike shared as he took a sip and grimaced too. Boiled boot he thought, yep that would be pretty descriptive.

Commander Holleran cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. This was not going to be pretty, time to get it over with. He took a deep breath and exhaled. That combined with a look of someone made to chew on glass shards made everyone tense before he began speaking. "I want to start off by saying Sam is resting securely again." They all registered the 'again' word but held their tongues.

Holleran then proceeded to explain every wretched detail of what had happened to Sam after they had left. The looks of fury and worry were in line with what he expected but he had also expected the room to roar. The dead silence totally disconcerted him.

Ed, Greg and Blaze shared looks that all leaders would understand. The guilt, the feeling they had failed someone under their charge was etched in their faces.

Wordy and Winds looked directly at each other. Warriors of different style. But both fiercely trying to find the right words to describe the brutal emotions they were feeling and coming up blank.

Lou was dumbstruck. He liked being 'less lethal Lou' but what he wouldn't give to go back to that waiting room and kill Donner before he had the opportunity to attack Sam.

Patch's and Spike's faces were revolving so quickly through so many emotions it was hard to pinpoint one.

Jules had one look. Hard razor sharp fury. It rolled off her in waves and threatened to engulf them. If looks could actually cut, Holleran would be sliced open to the core and bleeding out.

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Outside_**

As Jules was winding up for detonation, just outside a young officer was gathering up the courage to face his teammates. Unsure of the reaction he would receive. Would he be accepted or reviled? Would they condemn him as a failure and murderer for Aaron's death?

Sam had worked really hard with Matt guiding him to rebuild his safe place, the thick walled structure that held everything that hurt. He was still very confused and needed to sort his emotions and conflicting thoughts. But he had been ordered to debrief which meant facing them.

So even though it terrified him he would face them. He would not run away, he was no coward. He had promised Matt he would be strong, so he would shoulder the blame for all the blood on their hands.

If they hated him he would walk away. He would find somewhere else to be because he had promised Matt to heal, to live, to laugh and to smile. He knew that if he was rejected again it would hurt, hurt real bad but somehow, someday he would find the beauty of life. Sam just desperately hoped it could be here.

Hand on the door. Breathe, just breathe …

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Briefing Room_**

Sam opened the door and entered SRU Headquarters. The dispatch desk was empty. Winnie must be in the copy room he thought. Sam stopped just outside the briefing room unnoticed by the distraught occupants.

Jules exploded. She stood, knocking her chair back and slammed her hands on the table eyes drilling into Holleran.

"What the hell were you thinking to put him at such risk in his condition? He was bait that couldn't defend himself. You let that sick twisted son of bitch Donner hurt him badly, to stab a knife into his heart and soul. That bastard almost killed him."

Her rage continued "You should have told us, we would have protected him. WE PROMISED TO KEEP HIM SAFE. He is FAMILY. WE PROTECT FAMILY! Yesterday, he risked himself to save so many. He took a horrible burden on his soul to save others."

Gesturing to her teammates she yelled "We we know the pain that comes with taking a life. Sam willingly accepted that pain to save others five times yesterday. He saved Greg. He saved two wounded souls. He saved a little girl. He saved Frank and me and he nearly died trying to save Aaron."

Tears of fury streamed down her face "We need him, he is family, we trust him. It was a trust hard fought for and only won yesterday morning. If we lose him it will be on your hands. WE BETTER NOT LOSE HIM, HE IS FAMILY, HE BELONGS HERE."

All fury and energy spent she dropped into her chair and mournfully said "I promised to keep him safe. I need him to be safe."

Everyone in the room was dazed and silent. All agreed absolutely and completely with all she said but were stunned at her outburst.

The deafening silence that followed was broken by a familiar calm and steady voice.

"I'm good. Nowhere in the world I'd rather be."


	17. Sleep & Little Boy Lost

**Sleep &amp; Little Boy Lost**

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Outside Briefing Room_**

Sam heard the raw unvarnished truth in the fury of her words. His mind translated the meaning …

'acceptance, belonging, family, hope, trust, redemption, safety, love'

His heart and soul gently immersed, washed, soothed, cleansed, calmed, and healed by these words.

Into the silence he could only voice …

_"I'm good. Nowhere in the world I'd rather be."_

Ten sets of eyes snapped to his face and were met with …

... a beautiful smile with light that shone strong and bright in his clear blue eyes.

A feeling of being cocooned in warmth and safety enveloped him as his body forced him to sleep.

Ten people rushed forward as Sam slowly collapsed to the floor the smile not leaving his face even as his eyes fluttered closed.

Patch was the first to reach him, followed closely by Jules and Spike. The three were on their knees. Patch checking his pulse and other vitals. Spike grabbing a hold of his hand and squeezing it hard staring at the face silently begging the eyes to open.

Jules cradled his head in lap and stroked his hair softly whispering "Beautiful smile, gorgeous eyes, rest now you are home." She did not give a damn that she was stroking his hair in front of the guys yet again. She was just so happy to have seen that light in his eyes and the smile on his face. She agreed wholeheartedly 'nowhere in the world I'd rather be'.

Everyone else was circling looking expectantly between Sam's face and Patch. Waiting. He had to be alright, he just had to.

Patch breathed a deep sigh of release "He is sleeping, took his body to the end of his endurance. He will be okay. He just needs to sleep, to rest." He sat back on his heels and smiled up at Blaze and Winds. Their shared looks communicated 'he belongs; he finally found a place to be'.

A collective sigh of relief was emitted. So focused on Sam they had not noticed they had drawn the attention of the others in the barn. Greg was the first to notice that around them standing stock still were all the members of Teams Two, Three, Five, Frank from Team 4 and Winnie.

They had all heard Jules outburst. Who couldn't? It was probably heard a mile away. They had seen Sam standing in the door listening. They were astonished by his simple words followed by his collapse and their reactions. They were relieved by the paramedic's report.

As they watched, several thought that they had just glimpsed part of the reason Team One was the best of the best. Many conversations had taken place over the years in other teams wondering how Team One's evaluation score always bested the other teams. Today they had witnessed first-hand that these seven people were more than just a team.

Rollie smiled, good they are whole, they are family. He knew it was time to give Team One some privacy so turned to speak to the rest. "Alright everyone, let's move, you've got jobs to do" and clapped his hands then making a shooing motion to get them to going.

He nodded to Greg then turned to join his team at the gun range. He missed Team One sometimes but really enjoyed being a Sergeant of his own team now. He was trying to build that family sense with his team, but was rare, very rare; it took a unique set of people to achieve that. His last thought turning the corner to head to the gun range was welcome to the family Sam, welcome brother.

The team, JTF2 buddies and Holleran continued to stare at Sam. Finally Ed shook out of his stupor and said to no one in particular "Gotta find him a good place to sleep, can't be napping on the floor of the briefing room."

Laughter, pure, deep, cleansing laughter burst from all.

"Man he looks terrible. His face looks like some kid spilled their paints on him" Lou snorted out as he was gaining control of his laughter.

"Either gonna repel the ladies with his ugliness now or garner their sympathy. Who wants to bet it will be sympathy?" said Winds.

"I'm with you on sympathy especially after those news reports yesterday and Brett's sister and her friends reactions" Wordy added.

"Who's Brett and what reactions" Blaze asked. Wordy explained it to the JTF2 guys and more laughter followed.

"So where do we put him to rest? Any ideas?" Spike inquired.

"Has to be where I can see him, watch over him" stated Blaze firmly and all business. "Do you have a cot or something we could put in the briefing room? He cannot leave my sight, he is under my protection."

That got everyone's attention. Looking at Blaze, Greg asked "Does this have to do with the new situation you referred to earlier? We were wondering why you were here so early."

"Yes it does. The Corporal and I have officially been assigned protection detail to Blondie. Was told to meet with Commander Holleran at 0600 to assume command of his protection detail."

"Let's get Sam settled then we can deal with whatever it is. First up, do we have a cot?" Jules responded.

Winnie had overheard and offered "We have that gurney in the storage room we use for training would that work?"

"Perfect" said Patch as Lou and Winds trotted off to get it. "I just wish I had some medical supplies. He looks dehydrated and he's gonna need pain meds here soon. Shouldn't be out of the hospital. But I know full well, no one can keep him there when he wants to leave, even when it against medical advice (AMA). Hospitals freak him out."

That garnered looks from Team One. Spike thought, one more thing to add to the Care and Feeding manual.

Jules asked "Think if we contacted Dr. Fraser, he would send over what you need?"

"Worth a try, the guy was mired in guilt for not recognizing it was pain last night. I think he'd do anything to try and make up for that. I'll call him" Patch rose and walked a little away and placed a call to the hospital to get a hold of the doctor. Doubtful he was there still but maybe they could give him his home number. No success. "Dammit, stupid regulations, they won't give me his home number."

Spike heard him grumbling and said "Give me a few seconds, I'll get it" as he went over to the computer at Winnie's desk. "Mind if I used that?" giving Winnie a smile.

He thought wow she's looking really pretty today and she smells real nice. Wonder what perfume she wears? Winnie scooted out of his way and within seconds he had the doctor's number.

"Success" Spike hollered then cringed as he realized he said it so loud. He handed the number to Patch. To Winnie he said "Thanks for sharing" then walked back to where Sam was still on the floor.

Patch was now talking to the doctor telling him exactly what was needed. Dr. Fraser had responded that he was more than happy to help and would personally bring it to SRU HQ. He said it would take him about twenty to thirty minutes depending on how long the pharmacy took to fill the order.

As he hung up Lou and Winds returned with the gurney. They had taken a bit of time to find a pillow and blanket too. Ed, Blaze, Patch and Winds carefully lifted Sam from the floor and settled him on the gurney. Spike put the pillow under his head. Jules covered him with the blanket and tucked it in around him. They all stood there looking again. Sam looked so peaceful, so relaxed, so young, so very colorful.

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Briefing Room_**

As they moved Sam into the briefing room Greg made a suggestion. "We all are still very disconcerted by all the events from yesterday and this morning. I suggest that we wait until after the doctor gets here with the meds and Patch gets Sam settled to begin our discussion. We could all use the time to sort our thoughts."

"We could all use some coffee that doesn't taste like boiled boots too" Spike added drawing a smile from Patch. "I suggest that we make a Timmy run, maybe grab something for everyone to eat too. I'll go, anyone want to join me?" Lou and Winds offered to go with him.

Just as they were about to leave Jules piped up "Hey Spike, get Sam his favorite iced capp. He might not be awake to drink it for a while but don't want him to feel left out if he does wake."

"Have them make it with decaf. I don't want to flood him with caffeine. He needs his sleep" Patch added.

"Copy that" and the three headed out the door.

When they returned Patch was just finishing up with the IV and ready to add the meds. The doctor had fully checked Sam out before leaving. He had shaken his head and wondered how the guy had managed to leave the hospital in his condition. He also told Patch to call him at any time day or night if Sam needed anything or if his condition deteriorated in any way.

The guys had brought back an assortment of hot breakfast sandwiches and several dozen timbits. Coffee and food in hand, everyone settled into chairs to get down to the business of protecting Sam. Greg thought as he sat down time to understand the new situation and get some answers regarding his past.

"Okay so what do we need to know, what is this new situation?" Greg asked looking at the Commander.

* * *

**_Special Victims and Homicide Department_**

Inspector Davis was still troubled by the incident last night at the hospital. Sitting at his desk several questions niggled at him. Most would simply chalk it up to a deranged man picking a target and attacking. But there was more to it. He had many, many questions.

What was the connection between Braddock and Donner? Why did Donner first point the gun at Braddock but then turn it on himself? What did a General care if pictures were taken of something like that?

The flimsy excuse about being a problem for security did not hold water. It spoke more to a father trying to protect his son from hurt. It must be something in the past that he did not want repeated.

Why was Braddock's boss so concerned? Wait, one answer, he called him his godson. What was that business about Sara? Who was Sara? Who was this driver that killed himself after killing her? How is that connected to Braddock?

Who was this Matt that Braddock referred to before he passed out? He could see that it had totally freaked out the Commander every time he heard Braddock say the name.

So earlier this morning, he had started digging to see what he could find out. His digging led him to several things. Thank goodness for the internet, amazing what you could find out there.

He found that Donner had a blog from which he found he was seeing a psychologist, Dr. Carter. He found the pictures he assumed Holleran was concerned about. He found a newspaper report on the car accident which led him to the police report. He found a short follow up story about the suicide which led to another police report. He couldn't find anything about a Matt though.

He hoped that the call he would make in a bit, he had waited for a more reasonable time of day, would shed the final light on this incident. It was tragic really tragic. So many hurt by it; he would try to put the pieces together. And maybe just maybe it would be helpful to Braddock.

Braddock was confused and hurt deeply by all this, he saw it in officer's eyes and heard it in the words he had voiced. Davis also remembered that Holleran had said 'Sam doesn't know anything about that, we never told him'. Depending on what he concluded maybe the guy needed to know.

So now to get this sorted in his head before making the call. What are the facts? Nineteen years ago there was a car accident that killed seven year old Sara Braddock. She was hit so hard she knocked out of her shoes. Sam Braddock, nine years old, was with her and saw her die as after she was wrenched from his grasp at the crosswalk.

The driver of the car was West Donner. Richard Donner was his son, thirteen at the time of the accident. West Donner was cited for DUI but it turned out he was not drunk as was thought at the scene.

Toxicology reports showed a high level of anti-depressants, still grounds for DUI. West Donner was a paramedic. His wife who was six months pregnant was killed in a car accident two weeks before when someone ran a red light. He was the first responder and she died in his arms as she bled out.

The day of Sara's accident Richard Donner was in the car with his father. West Donner had to pick his son up from school early because he badly hurt a kid after that boy had teased him about being a momma's boy. Wow that had to be harsh having just lost his mom only two weeks earlier' he thought. Back to facts, stow the emotion right now the Inspector chided himself.

Okay, so the investigating officer was, aw crap, Norman Holleran. That had to be hard with Braddock being his godson. He would have known Sara too. So hard to stay to facts as the dots connected.

So now about the pictures. One of the crime scene pictures got leaked to the public. Dammed newspaper printed it. Wish I could find the person that decided to run it. I would punch their lights out.

The picture shows a little boy kneeling next to his little dead sister; two golden blonde heads. The little girl's blood covering his arms and hands and he is clutching a pair of pink sandals to his chest. He must have hugged her just before the picture was taken to get that much blood on him Davis thought.

But the most disturbing thing was that the photographer caught the little boy in the moment of an agonizing scream. His head tilted slightly up looking at a man, the little boy's face contorted in pain. His big blue eyes filled with tears were so tormented and lost. Shit, it hurt just seeing those expressive eyes. So that explains why no photos were allowed last night Davis thought sadly.

The follow up article said that West Donner left a suicide note. He read the copy of it in the police report. It was very lengthy and extremely detailed. He included details of how he felt in the week after and things he said to the boy the day of the accident. Donner said that he could never live with himself for causing that kind of pain and torment to a little boy. He said the boy's eyes pieced him to the soul. He was consumed with guilt for ending a beautiful little girl's life. That she had deserved to live.

He said he kept telling the little boy he had wished it had been him, meaning Donner himself, who was hit. Said he told the boy he wasn't worthy that he was supposed to protect people, he was a paramedic and that was his job. He had failed to save the little girl and he was so sorry.

His note went on to say that he had begged the little boy not to cry, to stop crying. The crying was tearing him apart. He kept saying no please stop crying, no crying, I'm sorry, it's all my fault. But the boy was inconsolable. He was in a total state of shock and kept screaming for Sara.

No one could get him to respond to them so locked he was in his anguish. The little boy would not let anyone touch him or take the shoes. Donner said he was devastated at seeing what he had done to the boy.

Then the little kid's father arrived. The grief he saw was so intense; both for his little girl and his little boy. No one could get the boy to let go of his sister.

Donner said he felt so bad that the only way the boy would let go was when his dad had to yell at him and order him to let go. It was the only thing that worked. The dad had tried pleading, crying, soft spoken words, nothing except the yell got through the grief barrier. The pain he saw on the dad's face as he did that then tried to console his son ate away at his soul.

He could not live with all of that so he decided to end his life. He shot himself in the head late one night. The police report said his thirteen year old son had woken from a nightmare and went to his dad's room for comfort and walked into the room just as his dad shot himself.

Aww hell Davis thought, that would screw anyone up. He looked at the clock. Okay Dr. Carter should be in her office now. He looked up the number for Lilliana Carter, psychologist. When she answered he explained who he was and generally why he was calling, leaving out specific names other than Donner's. At first she was reluctant to discuss a patient but once Davis reminded her that Donner was dead she offered information.

Richard was a long term patient. She'd started seeing him when he was thirteen after his dad committed suicide. The boy was racked with guilt. His dad would not have been driving that day if he'd had not gotten into a fight at school over his mother.

The boy felt he had destroyed his family that day. Richard had eventually seen the photos that were published. After seeing all the blood on the little boy he developed a fixation on gory details. For the most part Donner was able to operate in the world. He mostly had suicidal thoughts of ending it like his dad.

But something changed about three months ago. He no longer was blaming himself. He never gave her a name but for some reason he thought someone else was responsible for his dad's death. Something about eyes, lost eyes had triggered it.

Donner was still suicidal but the fantasies changed. He said he'd do it in a way that made the other person live with the same pain he had lived with. When Davis described what happened, without giving Braddock's name, Dr. Carter said it made sense.

Apparently he had never planned to actually kill that other person. Only to kill them in the sense he had been killed years ago. To make them watch him kill himself like he had watch his dad kill himself. Davis thanked her and hung up.

Crap, will I cause more hurt to Braddock if I share this or would it help him to know? He had no clue. Perhaps a call to Holleran would be in order. It was his godson after all.

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Briefing Room_**

Holleran took a steadying breath and started "The new situation actually has relevance to something in Sam's past."


	18. Bullshit & No Fucking Way

**Bullshit, Guts &amp; No Fucking Way**

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Briefing Room_**

Holleran's phone vibrated just after he stated "The new situation actually has relevance to something in Sam's past." Looking down at the number he recognized the first three digits were ones reserved for police. He's held up his hand to the group indicating hold on as he answered the phone "Holleran here."

_["Good morning Commander, this is Inspector Davis of SV&amp;H. I was the one on the detail last night with Constable Braddock. Got a moment to talk?" Davis asked.]_

"Kind of busy at the moment. Is it important?"

_["Might be. Last night several things did not add up. Got my brain into overdrive. I've just spoken with a Dr. Carter and she shed some light on the situation" Davis shared.]_

"Who is Dr. Carter and why would she have anything to do with last night's events?" Holleran asked. His comment about last night's events perked up the ears of everyone in the room, except the sleeping Sam.

_["She was Donner's psychologist. I think you should hear what she shared with me. Might be important for Braddock too. Your comment about him not knowing intrigued me. Might be helpful for him to know but I don't want to cause more problems for that guy. I don't know him so was hoping to talk with you about it, get your opinion" Davis replied.]_

Holleran was thinking hard. He had put together that Donner was the son of the driver. But was there something more going on? Could it possibly have any bearing on the current situation? Decision made he said "Davis, I'd like to hear what you have found out. But I want to do it in person. There are a few others that may need to know what you've found. We are at SRU HQ, if you could come to us that would be best."

_["Will do. Heading out shortly. Be there in a while, I'm all the way across town" Davis concluded hanging up the phone as he gathered up all the info and put it into a file folder. Always the investigator his brain started to niggle on the comment 'others may need to know'. Oh well guess he would find out when he got there.]_

He looked at the expectant faces and said "Inspector Davis who worked the incident with Sam last night has some information he needs to share. As you heard I've asked him to meet me here. I have no idea what he has found, it may or may not have bearing now." He received nods from around the table.

Greg looked at Holleran and stated firmly "Before he gets here and before we start the briefing. I have a question that needs answered. I had hoped to ask you in private, but all this is centering on Sam and his past. I feel that we need to know some facts that only you can provide."

"I'll answer what I can" Holleran responded warily.

Having already discerned the answer to his first question, why had the meeting been moved up Greg asked him his second question "Just how long have you known Sam? I've read his file and as blacked out and redacted as it is, it still contains nothing relating to him as a child. How did you know about Sara?"

"Since he was born" he replied getting shocked looks from everyone but they remained quiet hoping he would offer more. Silence drawing out he realized he had to say more, explain more. "He is my godson."

More nods implying him to continue. "I've known General William Braddock, his father, since we met as young teenagers on a base in Saskatchewan. Our dads were both stationed there. We just seemed to hit it off, we were as different as night and day but we formed a friendship. Even as we moved to different bases it just stuck."

More nodding, still silence. What else to say? Better lay out the essentials as it might be relevant to current problem. "Okay. I'll lay it out for you, I know you all care for Sam so I'll tell you what I can. Some of it will have to wait until General Braddock arrives tonight" Holleran continued.

That drew even more shocked and a few disgusted looks. Yeah he knew what Blaze, Winds and Patch thought of the General. The hatred clearly evidenced on the hard planes of their faces. The General never felt it necessary to explain himself or justify his actions to anyone. He didn't give a rat's ass what they thought about him personally. He was a hard, hard military man. His nickname 'Badass' was well earned.

"Not sure when Davis will arrive. Let me lay a quick Braddock foundation up to Sara's death at least" he said and looked around at them. Several nodded. A few relaxed back into their chairs preparing to listen wanting to know more about Sam.

While others, namely Blaze, sat tensely with a look that said 'I do not want to hear anything about the hardhearted SOB that treated his son so callously'. Yep, he thought Captain Blain was still fiercely protective of Sam. Choosing him for this detail was the right call. The General's concern that the friendly fire incident had changed their relationship was unwarranted. At least from Blain's perspective.

Holleran realized that Sam probably wasn't even aware that Blaze and Winds were here. From where Sam had been standing just outside the door, the three JTF2 guys would not have been visible to him. When he'd seen Patch in the ravine he blanked out. It would be interesting to see how Sam reacted when he found out all they had done for him. Hopefully mend some wounds for all four of them.

"Well, let's see where to start? Ok. So, I was the best man at William and Yvonne's marriage. Still not sure how he got her to marry him. She was all bright and full of laughter and he was a dour man, never really showed his emotions to anyone."

"Anyways Sam was born within a year of their marriage. Then two years later little Sara came and Natalie four years after Sara. All three kids took after their mother's personality. Bright, outgoing, full of smiles and mischief. You know, just happy kids."

"Sam and Natalie had their dad's blues eyes but Sara had emerald green like her mother." There was a quick intake of breath from Wordy as he thought of Sara Clarry's eyes. Team One's eyes quickly glanced at him thinking the same thing but no one interrupted Holleran.

He was saying "Physically Sam takes after his father in many ways. Rugged looks, untold stamina and hard to kill."

Patch snorted at the hard to kill comment, didn't he know it. The kid should have been dead many times over but always managed to survive. The same comment filled Blaze and Winds with rage because that is exactly what they thought the SOB was trying to do, kill is only son. Holleran was unaware of their rage because he had looked over at Sam thinking too many close calls, damned hard to kill, thank god.

"Braddock was busy moving up in the ranks when the kids were very young and as such was gone a lot. He rarely saw them until he became a Brigadier General when Sam was five." Holleran stopped to consider what to say next and popped a timbit in his mouth and sipped his coffee.

Recalling the General's pride in his son Holleran shared "William got a kick out of being able to take Sam to the range and teach him how to shoot. Especially long range which was his specialty too. He preened the day his eight year old son bested some of his experienced marksmen. Kind of pissed some off. But he didn't care, becoming a General you will make enemies along the way."

Recalling Yvonne's displeasure over the same he continued "I digress, anyway. Yvonne argued with him that Sam was too young. He was only six years old when William started taking him to the range almost daily. They argued over it but Braddock would not back down. He was stupidly headstrong and told her 'it was never too young to learn that skill. That Braddock men were military men, always had been always would be, generation after generation. That it was necessary and his duty to prepare the boy'."

Sadness entered Holleran's voice as he shared "That was the reason that Sam was only ever allowed to call him Sir and had to stand at attention or parade rest when speaking with him. He ruthlessly drilled into Sam that he must always follow orders and that not doing so was a failure he would not accept nor tolerate."

Holleran stopped to take a drink of coffee. He wondered if he should really be sharing this kind of detail. He decided to continue "Unfortunately, he was a misguided man and would verbally dress-down Sam like he was a soldier when the boy got into mischief or did not follow an order. By the time Sam was seven he learned to turn things on and off quickly depending on if the General was around."

"Sam was smiles and laughter when it was just his mom, sisters or cousins. He would flip a switch to soldier mode when the General was around. It's truly sad, William's actions originated from love for his son. He had simply wanted to prepare Sam for the harsh world of a soldier. But he couldn't see what he was doing was so very, very wrong until it was too late." He sighed and took another drink so he could compose himself.

"It was the day that Sara died that showed him how wrong he had been. It was the day he lost not only his little girl but also his son. It was that day William realized he had broken a father/son relationship. That what existed now was only a general/soldier one."

"He is a hard and proud man who rarely openly expresses emotions. But he does feel them deeply. I know he is still guilt-ridden for what he did to Sam and he has tried hard to mend it in his own way." He stopped and looked directly at Blain.

"BULLSHIT! That man is a sadistic bastard and if I wouldn't be court martialed I would have beat him to a bloody pulp for all the shit he put Blondie through. No one that loved someone would do those things. You have no idea how hard Matt and I worked to keep that kid's soul intact." Blaze roared and stormed from the room.

Remembering his duty. Blaze stopped at the door just long enough to say "Winds, watch Blondie. I need a break" then strode furiously outside.

They wouldn't continue without Blaze, so they took a much needed break. Greg, Spike and Wordy stood and paced slowly to stretch their legs as their minds churned. Holleran stood, walked to the windows and stared aimlessly at the scenery. Lou leaned back in his chair and forcefully made his body relax taking shallow slow breaths.

Patch went to check on Sam. He mumbled to himself and then pulled out his phone and dialed. "Dr. Fraser, its Jim. Sam has a fever. "

_[Dr. Fraser asked "How high?"]_

Patch replied "It's at 102 right now. I'm pretty sure he needs antibiotics and something to bring down the fever. Could you arrange to send them over and few more saline bags?"

_["I'll order a broad spectrum antibiotic and fever reducer. Are the rest of his vitals good? Are you still at SRU HQ?" Fraser asked.]_

"No change in his other vital, they are all good. Yes we are still at SRU HQ. Thanks" Patch finished then started to leave the room.

Jules had laid her head on her arms on the table and closed her eyes thinking sarcastically this just keeps getting better and better when she overheard Patch's conversation. She sat up just as Patch was about to exit the room "Where are you going?" she inquired.

"Want to get some damp paper towels from the bathroom to cool him" Patch replied.

"I can do better. We got lots of fresh towels and washcloths in the locker rooms. I'll go grab a few and some ice water. Also we have some instant cold packs in our first aid kit if you think that would help" Jules informed him as she headed to the locker room.

"Thanks, that would be great" Patch replied as he went back over to Sam. "Blondie, always giving me trouble. One problem after another. Always testing my skills. It is okay to stop it now" he jokingly said to Sam as he squeezed his left arm.

Winds rose and strode over to Ed, who was standing at the doorway looking in the direction Blaze had taken. He said "Give him five alone, then talk to him please. You two are much alike and he could use someone that understands how he thinks right now. Not much of a talker but he might just with you. I've got Blondie covered so take what time he needs. If that Davis guy shows up we will make him wait til you two are back."

Ed nodded affirmative and slowly started from the room.

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Parking Garage_**

Ed found Blaze at the far end of the parking garage. He was pacing back and forth, hands clenched and arms at the ready. Stopping in front of the concrete wall on every turn looking like he wanted to punch it.

Ed understood that emotion. The unbridled rage that came when you were powerless to protect the people you care about. He waited for the onslaught of emotion to subside. He would only end up getting decked if he tried to intervene right now.

Slowly it dissipated and Blaze stopped. He leaned his back on the wall and slumped to the ground with his knees bent and his forehead in his right palm. Ed checked his watch, yep five minutes, Winds knew Blaze well.

Ed approached slowly and slid down next to the man. He sat silent, not pushing just wanting to let him know he wasn't alone. After a long time, Blaze blew out a ragged breath and turned his head towards Ed.

Blaze looked long and hard trying to read Ed's face then said "I have so much hatred for that man. For six years we protected Blondie as best we could. But there were things that were just beyond our control. He put Blondie through hell over and over. I cannot accept that the man loves him no matter what Holleran says."

He continued "Blondie doesn't know I know, But I know exactly how many kills he had to make in those six years. It would make a stone man weep. When he was with us we tried to limit the hits to his soul."

"However when he was forced to join other units it was very hard on him. You see he had to prove himself over and over, putting himself at risk. We never knew if they had his back. One of the worst times was when he was out for seven days and had to take out thirty-two targets."

Blazed banged his head lightly on the wall behind him frustration building again "That time the unit he was with 'forgot' he was with them. Bastards! Blondie had to hike back alone over twenty kilometers."

"The bastards didn't even get a reprimand from the Major. Something like that had to be reported up to the General. I still cannot believe they got off scott-free putting Blondie at such risk. The General did nothing. His son could have died alone as he trekked in by himself and the General did nothing."

"When we finally found him in the mess tent, he was so close to the edge. Blondie eventually told us that he didn't tip off the edge because some guy had offered to help him and talked to him about SRU before we found him. He was shocked by the offer of help because basically no one but us gave a damn whether he lived or died. He also said he thought SRU sounded like a good place to be."

"So that's what they mean, confused Dale a lot. Gonna have to reintroduce those two" Ed said quietly seeing the connection.

"What? Dale? Reintroduce who?" Blaze questioned.

"Yea, Dale on Team Five. At the command post yesterday we heard him recount his only encounter with Sam. It stuck with him, said it was so intense he would never forget. He still wondered what the numbers meant when the guy yelled to others 'found Blondie, seven and thirty-two'. Thought it was some unit code. You also went into action fast when you heard 'found Blondie' yesterday" Ed said shaking his head thinking what a small world, damned small world.

"It was our code. Shorthand for how bad physically and mentally things were for Blondie" Blaze stated flatly.

"So I gather the first was how many days in the field and the second how many kills" Ed replied solemnly only getting a nod of agreement from Blaze.

Sorrow was etched on Blaze's face as he confessed "In the end, even we, his brothers, utterly failed him. Blondie left us because we failed him when he needed us the most. I was the one that relayed the all clear order that resulted in Blondie shooting Matt."

Tears threatened as anger mixed with pain and Blaze said through a clenched jaw "I couldn't look him in the eyes and see the agony I caused him. None of us could. His eyes can be so expressive. We didn't know what to say to help him, to take away the pain, so we were silent. When he disappeared three days later without telling us goodbye we realized he thought we blamed him and were rejecting him. It hurts so much to know I failed him like that. I'm no better than the damned General."

"You are only human, we make mistakes. He means a lot to you three, I can tell, you did well protecting him. Sam means a lot to us too. But we failed him too" Ed said with regret. Blaze looked at him questioningly.

Ed continued "I won't lie. We got off to a rocky start with him; almost lost him too. We let how he joined the team color our judgement. He was just put on the team, normally teams select their members. The Proper Care and Feeding of Samtastic manual is a result of a meeting the six of us had when we recognized our error."

"It has taken us several months to build that trust and prove to him we are worthy of him. Yesterday should have been a great day. Greg, Wordy and I recognized that Sam truly smiled for the first time that morning in workout. He looked rested too."

"Yesterday was bad for him, very bad, but I promise you we were and we are here for him. He is safe with us, he is family and he belongs. We won't let the General hurt him more. We won't let him fall" Ed finished letting that sink in.

Blaze nodded. He could see that and he could accept that. Blondie was safe with them and they would have his back. A small smile crossed his face as he remembered what Blondie said just before he started his 'nap' as Ed called it. Blondie knew it too.

He was brought back when Ed stood up and offered a hand to Blaze and said "My gut is screaming at me that there is something more going on than a crappy father. Ready to go back and see if we can figure it out before it harms Sam?"

Blaze nodded grabbed his hand and rose "My gut is telling me something is wrong, has been since last night. After hearing about what happened last night I thought it was that. But it has not shut up at all."

They headed back inside both glad they had talked.

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Inside_**

Davis had arrived just before Ed and Blaze returned. They were just about to begin when Winnie appeared at the door "There is a woman here with things for Sam. Says she is a nurse."

Patch popped up and went to the desk. He recognized her from the night before and said "Heather?"

Heather turned and smiled and said "Hi, Patch isn't it?" He nodded. "I was at the pharmacy getting something for a friend when I overheard the tech trying to figure out how she could get these delivered to SRU HQ sooner than two hours because Dr. Fraser had put a rush on it. Their second delivery guy is out sick and they are real backed up. I asked her who they were for and she said Sam Braddock. So I offered to bring them over. Why isn't he in the hospital, he's really not well enough to be out?"

Patch smiled as he replied "He hates them. I'll take good care of him. No need to worry."

"Okay, but here's my number; I'm off the next three days. If you need help with Samtastic for any reason, please don't hesitate to call me" Heather smiled and handed over the supplies then turned and left. Patch grinned and thought, wow she's cute, might have to keep that number for later use.

Patch entered the briefing room and went directly to Sam to start the antibiotics and give him the fever reducer. Davis was watching the interplay between everyone. He thought fascinating dynamic, something about this guy draws people to him. This should be interesting. When Patch finished and sat down, Holleran began. He introduced everyone in the room to Inspector Davis then handed the meeting over to him.

Davis began "Okay, I'll go at this in three parts, the accident, the suicide and the psychologist." They listened as Davis laid out all the facts about the accident. It was hard to hear. When he was done with the facts he pulled out the picture and asked Holleran if it should be shared with the group.

Holleran nodded but declined to look. He'd seen it before and couldn't take looking again. Davis handed it to Greg, his sharp gasp and distressed expression told the team it was going to be hard to view.

The picture silently passed from Greg to Ed to Wordy to Lou to Spike. Each man's face affected by what he had seen. Jules was the last of Team One to see it and was intently staring at it absorbing the raw pain she saw in Sam's eyes.

She was about to hand it off to Blaze when she looked at the man in the picture. The man was clearly devastated by the look on Sam's face. The man's face was a mirror of Sam's pain. Briefly she thought could it be Donner? But the man looked vaguely familiar like she should know him.

As she finally handed the picture to Blaze she asked "Who is Sam looking at? The man looks just as devastated if not more." The guys shook their heads. They hadn't even really noticed the guy because they were so focused on Sam when they viewed the photo.

"The General" a dazed Blaze exhaled breathlessly not able to believe what he was seeing.

Winds snatched the picture from Blaze. Patch quickly stood and peered over his shoulder to see. He did not want to wait until it was passed to him. Seeing the total and utter desolation on the General's face overwhelmed Patch.

He shouted "No fucking way!" as his legs lost the ability to hold him upright and sat with a thump on the floor.

Blaze's and Ed's eyes met from across the table as they silently communicated 'our guts are right'.


	19. Hot, Hallucination, Howling

**Hot, Hallucinating, Healing &amp; Howling**

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Briefing Room_**

It was hot, really hot. Sam vaguely thought he must be in the desert. He could hear people talking but was still in a fog not quite making out what was being said. He woke as normal, so stealthfully, that no one noticed and did his normal checks. Physical, yep all the same injuries. The pain level was bearable just required slow breathing. What was new was he felt hot, so hot. Must be fever, crap. He definitely had an IV in and that confused him he had left the hospital. Hadn't he?

Yes he had. He gave that poor patrol officer a hard time about needing to leave. He laughed in his head at the shocked face of the patrolman when Sam had simply complied after he insisted that if Sam was well enough to leave the hospital he was ordered to SRU HQ for debrief.

He could tell the man thought he was nuts. Sam just had to get out of that hospital even if it meant going directly to SRU HQ. He was happy to find he was wearing sweats and a t-shirt. It would have been a bit embarrassing to show up here in just boxers. Hell the same thought two days in a row.

Ok so surroundings? He made it into SRU, check. Somewhat comfortable bed? That was odd because he could swear he was in the briefing room. That room had a distinctive feel and light pattern he knew well. He was definitely in the briefing room. But on a bed? Several people were in the room. Ok must be the team. They were all in there when he arrived. Feels like more than just the team though.

Next, mental state? He thought hard. He remembered watching Jules yell at Holleran, registered the looks from all his teammates that said they wholeheartedly agreed with what she was ranting about. Damn she was sexy when she was angry. He had to admit a little scary to but definitely sexy.

So mental state? Okay, really okay. Still had some things to sort out but it felt good to belong again. To have family again. He had missed that feeling. He remembered how he felt yesterday morning here with his family. Yeah, he was good. He could do anything, handle anything with his brothers and sister around. Whoa, no can't think of Jules as a sister that would be creepy. It has to be something different, better, more … that way he could still think she was sexy.

The voices started to become distinct. One he recognized was talking, it was Jules. Try to focus on what she is saying he told himself. Would be easier if it wasn't so damned hot in here. "… if not more" she finished.

Did someone just say "The General?" Crap they didn't call him did they? They wouldn't do that to him would they? The General was hard enough to deal with when he was at one hundred percent, but like this? Wait, they could have called but he is in Kandahar now, won't come, won't have to deal with him. Whew!

Ok someone is pissed or surprised, clearly heard "no fucking way." The voice sounded so familiar. No it couldn't be. Could it? Sam thought he saw him in the ravine. Chalked it up to hallucination due to pain. But no, that is clearly Patch's voice. He'd know it anywhere. What is he doing here?

He wanted to open his eyes to validate but he was so hot, so drained, that they just would not obey him. So Sam laid there and decided he had to rely on his ears. He was intrigued when a new voice, one he did not know, started to speak.

Davis cleared his throat "I'm sorry that is a hard picture to look at. I've viewed many crime scene photos but this one is by far one of the more painful one I've seen. So do you all need a moment or are we ready to move on to the suicide?" Sam was confused, what suicide? Oh crap, must be talking about Richard Donner. He steeled himself to listen, glad that no one knew he was awake. He would have a chance to process whatever they said without pitying eyes.

"So, he left an extremely detailed note" continued Davis.

"Inspector Davis, hold on a minute. You are saying there was a suicide note? I never knew that" Holleran interjected. Sam thought how could you know it just happened last night?

"But you were listed as the investigating officer. How could you not know?" Davis asked.

"Officially I was listed, but recused myself immediately after the accident. I could not be objective. Handed it over to a junior officer, guess they didn't change the name on the file. I was too wrapped up in grief to follow the details" Holleran answered.

"So there is a note, what does it say?" Holleran asked in a manner that indicated he didn't really want to know. Sam was more than confused. This could not be about last night. Ii just didn't fit. So what was it about?

Davis blew out a breath as said "As I said it was very detailed. The man was devastated by what he had done to the boy and girl. Spoke of how the girl was so young and bright and deserved to live and the guilt he had for killing her. Went into great length about what he said to the boy at the scene."

"What did he say? God, I didn't know he talked to him. I arrived with William after they had the man in custody and in the back of a patrol car. What did he say to him" Holleran queried his interest peaked but wary. Sam could discern the guarded interest in Holleran's voice. What was that about?

God it was hot, so hot now. Sam's mind was muddled. If he was so hot why was his starting to shiver. What the hell? Oh yeah, fevers do that, his body's natural defense was kicking in. He felt the miserable mix of hot and cold.

Sam sensed movement next to him. Heard a swishing sound followed by water dripping. Ahh that felt good. Someone placed a cooling cloth to his forehead. A barely perceptible sigh escaped as the person took another and wiped it across his face and neck.

"Blondie? Blondie you awake?" a voice said close to his ear. "Come on buddy, I know the difference when you are actually out or just in stealth mode. Open your eyes now. There are some guys that really want to see you again. Open" Patch encouraged lightly.

The others in the room had looked to Sam when Patch had started to speak. So when Sam finally got his eyes to obey there were eleven sets of eyes staring at him. He quickly registered his team, Holleran, an unknown. He blinked several times because he could not believe that Blaze, Winds and Patch were all there. Crap, the fever must be bad enough that he was hallucinating.

"Hey kid, scared us real bad" his hallucination of Blaze said. It rose and walked towards him to. It gathered him in a gentle hug and said "I'm so sorry we lost you. Won't happen again. You've always been like a son to me. I won't hurt you again. I'm sorry you thought we blamed you. It was not your fault." The heat of his face was cooled as he felt tears drop on it from Blaze's eyes. Blaze held him, really held him. This was not a hallucination.

Tears welled in Sam's eyes as Winds moved forward and took his hand. "I'm holding tight Blondie, not letting go. I'm sorry I hurt you so badly. I just couldn't find the words to ease your pain. I couldn't bear to witness the pain in my brother's eyes" Winds choked out as he stared intently at Sam. No he had to be hallucinating, right?

"Hot but cold. Hallucinating?" was rasped out in a dry voice.

Reaching for a water bottle and opening it Patch responded "Hot plus cold, yes, fever. Hallucinating, no we are really here. Drink" and put the bottle up to Sam's lips.

The cool liquid felt good as it touched his lips and slid down the back of his throat. It was as if the water and the words quenched a long aching thirst. He sighed as he focused on each man a few seconds. Each one held his eyes, did not look away, they smiled at him.

Did they really not blame him? Part of him could not fathom that because he still blamed himself, still carried the guilt, and probably always would. But Matt had been there for him last night. He wasn't sure how but it had felt so real it had to be him in some form. If Matt could forgive him and be there for him, maybe just maybe they could too.

Blaze asked "You doing okay Blondie?"

Sam smiled weakly, still so very tired "Missed you. Mmm okay. Hungry" and as if on cue his stomach roared. Tension broke and light laughter arose.

Davis had watched Sam's eyes during the entire exchange thinking, this guy is multifaceted and very intriguing. The range of emotion that was communicated in his eyes was astonishing. They had rapidly gone from confusion to profound grief to hope to guilt to forgiveness to questioning and finally landing on acceptance with a sense of peace.

When Donner's note said the boy's eyes had pierced his soul he had wondered what the guy really meant. He now understood. Then he said he was hungry and his stomach communicated too. He sat back with a slight smile on his face.

"Let's take a break, near lunch time now. Well get some sandwiches and such brought in" Greg said smiling glad to see Sam awake. All agreed. Ed went to talk to Winnie to see if she could order in food for them. She was happy to hear Sam was awake and readily agreed to get something delivered.

Spike skipped from the room pulling his wallet out on the way. He stopped at the vending machine and selected Sam's favorite snack. He went to the break room fridge to grab the iced capp they had gotten earlier.

Then bounded back to the briefing room and with a huge smile Spike enthusiastically said "Here Samtastic, got you something to hold ya over until the real food arrives."

Patch adjusted the gurney so Sam was in a reclining position.

"Thanks buddy. Ya know what I need" Sam said softly and reached for the iced capp looking forward to the taste. He needed the caffeine boost. He took a long drink but grimaced and looked at the offending drink and said "Whoa, not right, not right."

Patch snickered "Sorry buddy, its decaf. Know you hate it but you can't have the caffeine yet. So put up and shut up or I'll make sure you only get green jello and broth for lunch" as he threatened to take away the snack.

Sam pinned him with a 'damn you' stare but only said "Mmm tastes good" with only a slight shudder as he took another drink and opened the snack bag. Spike and Patch giggled, which earned them both a 'damn you' stare.

Greg walked up to Sam and asked the room of people if they would please leave for a bit that he needed to speak with Sam alone. They all complied but Blaze and Winds took up guard positions just outside the room. When they were gone Greg pulled up a chair close to Sam and sat. As his Sergeant it fell to him to bring Sam up to date. He rubbed his hand over his head and across his eyes as he often did when gathering thoughts then took a moment to really assess Sam's current state.

Sam wasn't sure why Greg cleared the room and watched closely as he sat down. There was concern in his eyes. He could see he was trying to judge Sam's state so he offered "I'm okay, beat up and colorful, a little feverish, but really I'm good. Yesterday was a bitch of a day. Won't lie. Many highs and lows. Felt like I was swinging on a damned pendulum. I still need to process a few things. But I've had worse days. I'm good. Whatever it is you have to say just spit it out. I can take it." Then he took another sip of his 'wonderful decaf' iced capp, tried not to grimace at the taste and waited.

"Oh no doubt you could take it. Evidenced by the fact you are sitting here. Whether I want to cause you more hurt is quite another thing" Greg returned.

Sam just calmly looked at him and waited.

"First, how long were you awake? What did you hear?" Greg asked.

"Jules was speaking but only caught the last word or two. Thought I heard someone say the General then I definitely heard someone say no fucking way. Heard the rest after that too. Whose suicide were you discussing? Pieces don't fit for it to be Donner's. And why are Blaze, Winds and Patch here? Why would they be included?" he answered and asked.

Greg liked that about Sam, quick to assess. "Actually it was Donner's suicide just a different Donner" Greg said getting a quizzical look from Sam. "But this is related to what happened last night. I'm sorry that happened to you. If we'd known anything about it we would have been there for you. The man wouldn't have gotten within a one hundred yards of you" his look communicating the truth of his statement.

He then proceeded to fill Sam in on everything that had transpired from the point that the team heard the second shot. Quite sometime later, Greg concluded "So that's why your buddies are here and we are currently meeting with Inspector Davis."

Sam was stunned. More to process but some of it very nice. His JTF2 buddies and Team One family had gone above and beyond for him. They were there for him, damn that felt good.

"So is this something you want to hear or would you rather sit out and we can let you know if it has anything to do with the 'new situation' that has put Blaze on protection detail?" asked Greg.

Sam thought hard about it. Sara's death was hard. He never knew the driver killed himself. That the SIU agent was his son. Richard must have hated him very much but why him? He was just a kid at the time.

What he had done in the interviews made some weird twisted sense now. Donner had wanted to inflict pain and mental anguish. Sam understood the possible motivation but that didn't make it easier to accept what the bastard had done to him. He would have to work on forgiving or at least tucking it away.

Perhaps understanding the father's mind through his suicide note would help him do that. So Sam said "I think I need to hear it. Won't be easy but it's probably important" as he nodded slightly then hung his head down.

Greg placed his hand under Sam's chin, gripped gently and tilted his head up so they were looking eye to eye and firmly stated "Okay, but you need to promise me. If it gets to be too much to let me know and we will stop. We are here for you. You do not have to do this alone."

"Promise" he said with conviction.

Greg stood and went to the door. The food had arrived, everyone including Sam gathered around the table to eat. The move from gurney to chair had nearly sapped him of what little strength he had left. The guys had decided while Greg was talking to Sam that they would keep the lunch conversation light and fun. Sam was hungry but found it was difficult to eat much so he just picked at his food. Jules noticed this and inconspicuously put aside a selection of food for him to snack on later if he was hungry.

Blaze glanced at his watch and saw it was 1400. He wondered where the hell had the time gone. Out loud he remarked "1400, only four hours until the General arrives. We better get this over with so Holleran can brief us on what he knows before the General gets here."

Sam's head snapped up. "The General is coming? Here? Now? Why?" Sam croaked a look of bewilderment plastered on his face.

"Parker, I thought you told him everything?" Blaze queried.

"My apologies, one thing I forgot. Sam your father is enroute. He will be here at six pm. Apparently he has additional information on this new situation that must be communicated in person" Greg responded.

"Roger that" Sam retorted. They all heard the more army like acknowledgement, saw him sit more erect and saw the look that came over his face. Something like a mix of pain, dejection, fear and strangely enough wonderment. Like he couldn't believe his father would bother to come.

Davis inquired "We ready to start?" looking directly at Sam waiting for his response alone. When he got a slight nod he began "So as I was saying the note was very detailed. I can either summarize it or you may read it." Again he looked to Sam for the answer.

"I'll read it" Sam said thinking it would be easier to take then hearing it out loud.

Davis handed him the note. The group was waiting for a reaction, expected to see sadness and pain. What they had not expected was what they got.

With an utter traumatized and confused look Sam mumbled "No, no that can't be right. No, he said that, no god no. He said that, no, wrong."

He finished reading and look up at Holleran a lost little boy look on his face and held the note out to him. "This can't be right, it's wrong, he said these …" his voice quivered.

Holleran took the note.

Sam laid his head on the table his arms encircling the back of his head as if protecting himself. His whole body began to shake uncontrollably as a surreal howling scream broke free and would not stop.

Frozen in place by Sam's reaction all eyes turned to Holleran as he read the note a look of horror on his face. He immediately took out his phone and dialed a special number and shouted into it "I know now. I know how. I know why. There's hope. I don't care how you do it but get here NOW" and slammed the phone closed.

Holleran looked at everyone in the room and yelled "Out now, seal the doors!" as he moved towards Sam.

The only one that left was Davis, actually he was forced out. The others refused to leave. The doors were sealed as the howling cry continued unabated.


	20. Misinterpret & Malevolence

**Misinterpretations &amp; Malevolence**

* * *

**_Military Aircraft Enroute to Toronto – Shortly After the Call_**

The imperturbable General Braddock was striding back and forth. He had bellowed and demanded until he was hoarse for them to move quicker. They were able to shave time off but not near enough to appease him. He had to be there NOW. He needed him NOW. Why couldn't he be there NOW?

He had heard the howling screams in background. He knew, he knew, he absolutely knew who was screaming. Screams he had never wanted to hear again. He needed to be there NOW. He had to hold him NOW. He could not fail him NOW.

Many of the men around the General were scared shitless and sat very still trying not to attract any notice of themselves as the man thundered passed them back and forth. The General was in one hell of a rage. A short call in which he had said nothing turned him into a total raving maniac. If looks could kill they'd all be dead for telling him they could not get there faster. They wished they we there NOW too, if only to be relieved of this livid, fuming General.

One brave soul ventured to communicate with him. "Sir we will get you there as fast as possible. We are at max speed. We have gotten clearance to land at a closer airport. We have arranged a helicopter to get you to your destination within ten minutes of landing. Sir you will be there in two hours tops. Please try to calm yourself. There is nothing more we can do."

Damn the guy must have a death wish. He told the General to calm down. You didn't tell a General to calm down. Everyone ducked their heads as he stormed past again.

A man near the back sat staring at the raging General captivated by what he saw. He thought the General was hurting again. He smirked, it must be something to do with his only soft spot. He was told it was the only thing that could make the General lose his cool. He would get kudos for reporting this. He couldn't wait until the landed.

The General continued to stride back and forth. There was no way to calm down. Two hours was too long, he needed to be there now. Sam needed him now. Holleran said there was hope. God please let there be hope. Let me finally be able to right my wrongs. Please I need my boy back.

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Inside Briefing Room_**

The initial onslaught of sound had reverberated in the room. Nothing any one said or did had penetrated the barrier that trapped Sam. Everyone was afraid, truly afraid for Sam and did not know what to do.

After five minutes of gut wrenching howling, Patch placed a frantic call to Dr. Fraser requesting a strong, fast acting sedative be rushed over. That had been ten minutes ago and although the howling had shifted to a lower keening the body shakes were not abating.

Patch was worried how much more Blondie's physical body could take. His vitals were not good, His blood pressure, heart-rate and breathing rates increased significantly and his temperature had not fallen at all. He needed the sedative NOW.

A loud knocking was heard at the side door. Thank god the sedative was finally here. Patch ran to the door and opened it a crack. Winnie stood there her face pale and nervous holding a package. She shoved the package to Patch then quickly closed the door. All eyes in the room watched as Patch administered the sedative via the IV.

Within the space of a minute all was dead quiet. Sam's body still shook, likely due to the rush of adrenaline and effects of the fever. But thank goodness he was no longer howling.

Patch checked his vitals still not good but improving. His heart rate and breathing were slowing and blood pressure was lowering. Patch exhaled deeply. Listening to Blondie's desolate cries for the past fifteen minutes had completely drained him.

He had switched to medic mode to try and tune it out but it had not worked. It was Blondie after all. His empathetic connection with the kid was strong and deep. When Blondie hurt, he hurt almost as much.

Ed, Blaze, Spike, Wordy and Patch moved Sam back to the gurney. Jules covered him with the blanket tucking it snugly around him.

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Outside Briefing Room_**

Members of other teams had heard the howling and had initially run toward the briefing room prepared to help whatever the emergency was. They were shocked when Inspector Davis was roughly thrust from the room and it was sealed quickly. The screaming did not cease.

It was disturbing even muted a bit by the walls. They had no clue what the hell was going on. Team Two was glad when they got a hot call; it was too excruciating to listen. Team Five quickly left for the gun range knowing that Team One was handling it. They needed to get away from the horrifying screams.

That left only Winnie and Inspector Davis outside the room. Winnie was in shock. If she could leave she would just like Team Five but she couldn't and she had to hear the howling that would not end.

When a paramedic had rushed in with a package saying it was for a Sam Braddock she immediately took it. She ran to the briefing room door and knocked as loud as she could hoping to be heard over the heart-wrenching sounds. When it finally stopped, Winnie felt tears of relief running down her face. She brushed them away as a small shutter coursed quickly through her body.

Inspector Davis was distraught. He had slumped into one of the chairs in the waiting area and tried to tune out the terrible sound. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought to get a reaction like that. He had only wanted to help Braddock, not hurt.

If a picture could scream, that is exactly what he would imagine the one of the little boy would sound like. Hell it was that little boy, only nineteen years older. Davis was immovable now, thanking god that the howling had finally ceased and praying the young man would be okay.

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Inside Briefing Room – After Sedative_**

Even though the wailing had stopped their ears were still ringing with the remembrance of the sound. Sorrow permeated the room each trying to process their own emotions at witnessing such an alarming episode. Something in the note had been the catalyst but for what all but one wondered.

Holleran had not moved from Sam's side the entire time. Unable to get through in any way he just stood there watching and lightly patting his back. Memories from the past mingled with the present. Often seeing the little boy instead of the man as he fervently hoped that this would be cathartic instead of hurtful.

Greg picked up the picture of Sam and stared at it as tears slid down his face. He imagined that was the same cry heard that day. That hit deep. He had allowed exactly what he told Sam he didn't want to happen to actually happen. He caused more hurt. What was this all about? How could they help?

Ed and Blaze had bloodied their fists punching the concrete walls in their frustration and inability to cut through the barrier to rescue Sam from his torment. After helping put Sam on the gurney they resumed storming back and forth. They were both trying very hard to dissipate the fury of helplessness that engulfed them.

Winds had remained in the same spot the entire time. He stood dead still, silent, unresponsive and staring out the window. He was thinking was it all too much? Did Blondie just lose the last piece of his soul? Is this what it sounds like when the body lives but the soul dies? Did the General finally kill his son in the worst way possible?

Jules had sought out Wordy's arms for fatherly comfort during the screaming. It was so crushing. She couldn't bear to see this man in so much pain. In the past twenty-four hours he had waded through hell and come out strong and smiling.

To see him laid low by written words was just too much. She could not fathom what could do that to him. After covering him with the blanket, she stood next to Sam unconsciously stroking his hair as she gazed sightless out the window.

Wordy had found strength and solace himself by being able to help at least one of his teammate as he hugged Jules. He had tried desperately to figure out something or some words that would help Sam.

When Jules released her hold on him he helped move Sam. He had now picked up the file folder and found there were other pictures in it. He found one of a lovely blonde headed, green eyed little girl with a beautiful smile. Wordy thought, so this is your Sara, you have the same smile. New tears slid down his face.

Spike had pulled a chair next to the gurney, sat down and refused to let go of Sam's hand. Silently he was telling Sam over and over he wouldn't let go. Spike's face was etched with fear.

Lou had his hands on Spike's shoulders offering added strength. He could see that Spike was on the edge too. He hated to see his brothers in such pain.

All was silent for over forty minutes. No one could bear to say anything. Soothing silence was preferable to any sound.

Winds finally broke out of his near catatonic state. He suddenly turned, aggressively stepped toward Holleran and said in a voice of barely contained rage "You damn well better explain something to us now or I will kill the General when he gets here. Because I assume that is who you called. You know something about this. I know the General, he will never explain. So if you want him to live you will explain NOW."

All faces ping ponged between Winds and Holleran waiting for him to respond. Holleran expelled a weary sigh as he dropped to a chair. "It's not really for me to share but ..."

Blaze did not hear the 'but' and he flared red hot in a manner that all could see matched his nickname "I DON'T CARE IF IT IS FOR YOU TO SHARE. TELL ME NOW OR I WILL KILL YOU TOO!"

Ed placed a bloodied hand on Blaze's shoulder and squeezed then said simply "Let the man talk."

The touch and simple words banked the fire in Blaze a bit. Enough that he was able to walk to the far corner of the room, a safe distance from Holleran and slump to the floor his back against the wall. Ed joined him, a symbolic gesture to their earlier connection.

Holleran sat a moment to determine how to explain. "I'm not sure where to start. It is messy and confusing because human emotions are involved so it might be best if I start with a problem statement and try to tie everything back to it."

He looked at the concerned faces before he started again "The problem simply stated is that Sam does not think his family, especially his father loves or cares for him. He believes all his father ever wanted was a prefect soldier not a son. He also believes that he is responsible for Sara's death and that the General blames him too. That because he failed to protect her he is not accepted. Their relationship over the past nineteen years has been one miss-step after another. Each one trying, in their own way, to fix something, to prove something but nothing has worked."

Holleran stopped to give them time to register his words. "The General believes that the events of that day and the several following ones are key pieces to a complex puzzle but there have always been a few missing pieces. The General knows exactly how his failures contributed to the problem. But has been trying so long to figure out how certain things got into Sam's head. Things that are unaccounted for by the General's words or actions."

Taking a small moment to control his emotions he then said "I have always felt if we could figure out the mystery, the how or why, that there would be hope for them to mend their relationship. The suicide note gave insight to the final unknown pieces of the puzzle."

He continued "Today I think Sam's adult brain might have recognized some fallacies his nine year old brain had latched onto and convoluted when he read the note. I think what we witnessed was the pain of lost years spent living under that misconception."

His voice a bit shaken but hopeful he stated "I'm hoping that when he awakens that he understands the truth. That he can finally release the pain he has felt for years living with the false perception that his family rejected him and that he was unworthy and responsible for Sara's death."

Holleran stopped needing time to figure out what to say next.

Turning and focusing her eyes on Holleran, Jules stated "If we are going to help Sam, we need to know what the puzzle pieces are. So we can help him put it together and see the picture they create."

Holleran grabbed a water bottle and took a sip "Okay, I'll do my best. Let's start with the pieces the General are certain play a part of the problem. His own actions. As I told you the General is a hard man, but was never cruel."

Blaze, Winds and Patch all grunted at that knowing just how cruel he had been but chose to keep their mouths shut for now.

He looked at them but continued "The day of the accident and the several following ones he became fully aware that his insistence that Sam call him 'Sir', drilling him to follow orders and the way he dealt with the boy when he messed up were all contributing factors. As were his exacting high expectations of the boy."

"He always expected him to behave in an adult manner even though he was a boy. When he messed up the only acceptable responses were 'Yes Sir', 'No Sir', 'I'm sorry Sir', 'My fault Sir' or "Won't happen again Sir' or any combination of them. But by the time he recognized this certain behaviors had become so ingrained in the boy that they would not change."

"Sam only addresses his father as Sir or General. He always takes responsibility when things go wrong. Even if they are not his fault he thinks he could or should have done something to prevent it. Any mistake made must never be repeated. And finally orders must always be followed."

Everyone nodded. They had all seen evidence of those ingrained behaviors.

"How did he know these were pieces of the puzzle?" Greg asked.

Sitting up a little in his seat, Holleran began "By the way Sam reacted. When we got to the accident scene the General was devastated by what he saw. His beautiful Sara bloody and laying on the ground dead. His beloved boy covered in Sara's blood clutching her shoes. Sam was howling in the same manner we just experienced but also screaming Sara's name" said Holleran his voice shaking now as the sights and sounds he witnessed that day assaulted him.

Taking several calming breaths he continued "It took the General and me nearly a half hour to get to the accident scene. The officers said that Sam had been screaming like that the entire time. No one could get through. Just like now. As the General approached Sam a photographer took that picture" his finger pointed to the one they had viewed earlier.

"The General was very protective and did not want his son photographed in such torment. He was so outraged he punched the man, knocking him out stone cold. Before returning to Sam, he knelt by Sara, stroked her hair, kissed her forehead and whispered to her" Holleran sat silent absorbed in the memory.

A soft sob escaped from Jules as she said "Sam did those same exact motions with Sara Clarry yesterday." The team nodded.

Holleran started again "The General then went to Sam. He was still screaming. He tried everything to get through. He pleaded so many ways using soft words, he was crying himself. Sam would not let him hold him the only touch he allowed was stroking his hair."

"After ten minutes of trying to get through with no success he tried the last thing he could think of. He used his booming commander voice and ordered Sam to stop and to come with him. It broke his heart that Sam immediately stopped screaming, stood at attention and said 'Yes Sir'."

Ed softly said "I know the sick feeling doing that. I had to yell at Sam at the bank. It was the only way to calm him down so he could get a breath in after the hit knocked the wind out of him."

Nodding his head in response to Ed's comment Holleran said "Sam was so traumatized he said nothing on the way home. When William and I got him home, Sam walked straight into the living room. He stood at attention in the spot that the General usually dressed him down when he did something wrong. Sam just stood there. The General could not get him to budge. He didn't want to yell again or force him after such a trauma. So he decided to just wait and see what happened. Give the boy some time to sort through things."

Holleran stood and walked over to Sam and placed a hand on his leg, tears in his eyes. "This is the part where the missing pieces come into play. He had been standing there for over an hour when he started speaking. The words confused us. He said things like It's all my fault. I failed to protect her. My job to protect her. I failed. No crying allowed, stop the crying now. I'm not worthy. I should have been hit not her. I'm so sorry."

"The General quickly knelt in front of Sam, eye to eye, and tried to counter everything Sam would say. Trying to get him to understand it was not his fault, that it was okay to cry, that he did not fail and he would never wish Sam was hit. But again nothing got through."

"It was breaking the General's heart hearing his boy say things like that. We had no clue where words like that were coming from. They were things that the General would never ever say to his kids. He was hard but he was never cruel like that. The General called the medics. He knew his boy needed help he couldn't provide."

Visibly shaken he walked back to the chair, sat and put his head down on his arms on the table "Give me a minute to regroup."

Everyone took several cleansing breaths in and out. The tension was thick and heavy.

After several minutes, finally blowing out a deep breath Holleran continued "Sam stayed like that repeating those words over and over until the medics arrived. They sedated Sam. William stayed in his room all night as Sam slept."

"Early in the morning he had stepped out to get a cup of coffee, gone only a few minutes. When he got close to Sam's room he heard the screaming again. He threw open the door and found three large orderlies physically restraining a thrashing Sam. The boy had a terrified look in his eyes."

"The General was livid they would be handling a little boy, his boy in this manner and bellowed at them to 'stop now'. All four stopped moving following the order instantly. Sam's face was still terrified but his little body was motionless and completely rigid. The General then loudly dressed-down the orderlies telling them 'get out, you do not belong, you are not family, you are utter disappointments'."

"The doctor came in and quickly sedated Sam again apologizing profusely for the orderlies' behavior. They felt it best to keep Sam sedated for several days. The General held Sam in his arms the entire time. He only put him down for the few seconds needed to use the facilities. When they finally let Sam awaken he had a blank lost little boy look."

Tears were in everyone's eyes as they looked at Sam.

"After that things were never the same between them. Over time the General deduced that Sam's traumatized mind had twisted events. Twisted them to the point Sam believed it was his father that told him those things he said in the living room."

"The General just didn't know where those words came from. He also realized that the dressing down he gave the orderlies in front of Sam had been twisted too. Sam's traumatized mind interrupted it as William telling Sam that he did not belong, he was not family and that he was a disappointment."

"He tried so many things over the years to get Sam to see it differently. Never finding the right words he tried to show it by actions. But that didn't work either. Somehow things always got screwed up or twisted." He blew out another long breath clearly emotionally taxed.

"That is a lot to take in. We need a break" Wordy stated simply.

"The General should be here in a while, we will resume then" Blaze said totally confused because the General he knew did not fit at all with the General that was just described. His gut was screaming again. Well actually it had never stopped.

* * *

**_Military Aircraft Landing in Toronto_**

After almost two hours of pacing the General had taken a seat for landing. He was still mulling over the little Holleran had said. He knew how and why; that there was hope. How did he find out? It was something he had been trying to understand for a long time.

He knew he was at fault, it was entirely his fault but he could not put all the pieces together. Hope, was there really hope? The screams, Sam's screams, his heart was ripping apart again. He had failed so miserably. Could there really be hope? Could he fix this? He had tried and failed so many times.

He needed to be there NOW. He would not fail AGAIN. It would kill him if he did. He pulled out his phone and dialed "I just landed, be there in ten" and hung up.

A man in the back pulled out his phone and dialed "We just landed. You're going to love what I have to tell you." Then he proceeded to tell the person on the other end how the General had behaved on the flight.

* * *

**_SRU HQ _**

The occupants of the briefing room were startled from their quiet contemplation when a booming commanding voice bellowed "WHERE IS MY SON?"

Holleran went to open the door knowing it was the General and he would break down the door to get in if needed and called out loudly "Sam is in here."

Everyone hastily gathered in the corner farthest from Sam to give as much privacy as they could without leaving the room. They all stared. No one spoke.

The General strode rapidly to his sedated son and gathered him into his arms. Distress was clearly shown on his face. He held Sam tightly with one arm; cradling his head on his shoulder and stroking his hair as he whisper words no one else could hear.

* * *

**_Hotel Room in Toronto_**

The man just got off the phone with his lackey and was now feeling giddy as he gleefully thought the General was hurting again. He knew it had to do with his only soft spot. That was the only thing that ever got him to lose control.

His nickname was Badass, but it wasn't due to irrational behavior. No one could make to that rank and be mentally unstable or cruel. He was badass because of his exacting high standards which he demonstrated himself and expected his ranks to emulate and his ability to dress you down if you failed to meet those standards. His words hard and to the point telling you exactly how you failed could burn.

It was also because he was hard to kill. He had been in several tight spots and always came out alive. Much like my toy soldier he thought and sniggered. Though he thought his toy soldier was actually more resilient and resourceful, maybe a badass 2.0.

He found the soft spot by pure accident ten years ago. Was looking for a way to make the General pay for the last in a long line of humiliations he suffered from him, the first being twenty years ago. He did an internet search to find ammunition to use against him. The picture he found told him exactly how to hurt him the most. However, it took years to use that information. He was so thrilled when he was lucky enough to get ahold of his toy soldier.

He had had a nice long run with the toy soldier. He thought about his past attempts to hurt the General by knocking over his toy soldier. There were so many and he always failed. The toy soldier just would not fall; he always stood up again.

Although in some ways those failures were just as satisfying because they had caused them both pain. Wished he hadn't lost control of him, he hadn't expected that to be the result. It burned that the toy soldier was still around but not in his control. He had been bored since he was gone and had difficulty finding ways to hurt the General without him.

He had really, really liked playing with him to make the General suffer. It never mattered to him that the toy soldier was innocent. But now his toy soldier was no longer innocent. He had personally harmed him now. The toy soldier now had to suffer and pay for his crime.

A satisfied smile played over his lips as he decided which one would go first. Need to make the General suffer more, so of course the toy soldier goes first. I'm tired of playing with him anyways since he is out of my reach now and he has to pay for what he did yesterday. Time to think, how best to make it happen? Time to plan. I don't want this one to fail.


	21. They Saw It Differently

**They Saw It Differently &amp; Respite for All**

* * *

**_SRU HQ - Briefing Room_**

Blaze, Winds and Patch silently watched the display of fatherly concern playing out before them and could not reconcile it with their years of history of what the man had put Blondie through. Holleran's words had painted a very different picture of the man. But as far as they knew the man constantly put Blondie in harm's way. So much so that the kid was so very close to losing his soul. This just did not add up. What the hell was going on?

As Blaze was mulling over this vast disconnect a few words the General was whispering wafted towards the group. Words intended for Blondie only but it was so deathly quiet in the room it was impossible not to hear some. He was saying "… so sorry … I'm here, rest … god what happened … look terrible … like the first time in Kandahar …". The last struck him hard 'the first time in Kandahar', god Blaze remembered that, it was terrible.

The memory flashed into his mind. Blondie and Matt had joined them about four months prior. Their mission required Blondie to take up a sniper position and Matt was his spotter to cover the unit. The rest of them were to recon the two-story building a kilometer away from Blondie and Matt's position.

Everything was going as planned Blaze, Winds and Patch were on the first floor and Gary and Mason were on the second. Then their coms went down. Matt and Blondie could see them but not communicate. Blondie had spotted several strange shapes attached to the outside of the building. Matt checked them out and realized that the building was wired to explode. The two surmised that the unit had been lured into a trap with false intel.

They had to let the unit know so they decided that since Blondie was the faster runner he would go and Matt would take over as sniper. Blondie hauled ass to warn them to get out of the building. As Blondie was running towards the building several shots were fired, alerting us something was up.

Matt took out the three targets and no more shots were fired. As he got closer we heard Blondie yelling at the top of his lungs 'get out, bomb, get out now'. The three of us on the lower floor headed out at the sound of the warning. Gary and Mason had not heard. Blondie did not stop as he sped passed and up the flight of stairs still yelling the warning.

He found Gary and Mason and the three were almost clear when it blew. Mason was thrown clear and was shaken badly but otherwise unharmed. Gary was killed as a concrete wall collapsed on him. Man that was hard losing Gary, he had been with them for a few years. He still missed that guy.

Blondie was on the ground unconscious, blood running across his face. He's been blown forward but hit with debris. A sizable chunk of wall had struck his back and was on top of him. A smaller piece had rammed into the side of his head just above the ear causing a deep gash. Geezz head wounds bleed a lot he thought as he shivered a bit at the memory.

He thought Blondie was dead. Patch raced over to check him out and found him to be alive. He was shocked to find that Blondie had also been hit by two bullets. One was in his thigh and one had grazed his side leaving a gash. Matt was totally distraught about allowing shots to be fired and didn't realize Blondie had been hit because he never missed a stride in his mad dash to the building.

That was the first time they rushed him to the base hospital. He had lost a lot of blood by the time they had arrived, he was beyond pale. While they were waiting for word from the doctors the guys had decided that it was serious enough to alert the General, Blondie was his son after all.

Blaze remembered the conversation and boiled even now. "Hello General, Lt. Blain, Cpl. Braddock's CO. I need to inform you that your son has been wounded. We are at the base hospital. He's in surgery now Sir."

The response is not what he had imagined ever getting from a father "Is he alive?"

He had answered "Yes but his condition is unknown we are awaiting word."

Then the General responded "Let me know if he doesn't make it, I don't have time to run to the bedside of every wounded soldier."

The bastard showed no concern. He didn't even ask what the injuries were. He just wanted to know if he died. Cold, so very cold. It was that day the unit decided they needed to protect Blondie. With a father like that who needed enemies.

Blondie was like everyone's little brother. Hell Blaze was almost old enough to actually be his dad, so protective feelings grew. Blondie had been hurt saving their butts that day. He risked himself running up after Gary and Mason.

So, one of the guys from the unit stayed with him the entire time he was in the hospital, never left him alone. He wasn't there long though; only four days. That kid really hated hospitals. It was irrational and he insisted he'd recover faster in his own cot.

Luckily the bullet didn't shatter or break the bone and did not do major damage. The blow to the head had caused a mild concussion and the one to the back caused bruised ribs. The graze on his side was relatively minor.

The General never once stopped by to check on Blondie. Even though he was in country and only a short drive from his current location. Damn, this just doesn't add up Blaze thought as he shook his head but kept quiet.

As he held his son the General was thinking about the first time he'd seen Samuel wounded badly in Kandahar. God it had hurt to be so cold to Lt. Blain when he called but he could not allow any action he took to be seen as giving preferential treatment to his son.

Unfortunately, Sam had paid the price too often for being the son of the General. Every night he had gone to see Sam. The first night the entire unit was with him so he stayed hidden as he checked on Sam. The second night the very large unit member was sleeping so he had quietly slipped into the room.

He was shocked at how bad he looked. He had stroked his hair a few times and whispered gentle words to him. Wishing he could hold him but fearing what repercussions it could have for Sam if he was seen. The next night he was glad to see Matt was by his side. He liked that guy, he was good for Sam, helped him smile and laugh.

As he continued to stroke Sam's head he let himself review his memories of Sam and Matt. They had met in basic training. The Commander was an old friend and had kept him apprised of Sam's progress. He told him he knew what it was like wondering, because his son had join the army a few years ago and he was always worried.

His friend was amazed at Sam's abilities but concerned that he was a loner. He informed him that Sam never engaged with the other recruits. The General knew what it was about, what it was always about. When a son of a high ranking officer joined, others either wanted favors or made it as hard as possible on the sons because they thought they got special treatment.

With the Braddock name Sam was a prime target for the recruits. They all thought he'd get special treatment and passes on things because his dad was General of Special Forces. The problems only got worse as Sam excelled, his cocky attitude didn't help him much. They were jealous of his abilities; all except one.

Apparently Matt had recognized that Sam's cocky attitude was a shield he hid behind. What he needed was a friend. Matt decided to be that friend and they got on well. Over the next few years, the only intervention the General did was to make friendly recommendations that those two were stationed at the same location. Sam and Matt never knew, only thought they were very lucky.

A few years later, Matt had applied for JTF2. Matt was older than Sam by several years and met the age requirement and it was what he really wanted to do. Sam was happy for Matt but he didn't want to be alone; he wanted to apply to but was too young.

That was the only time Sam had ever approached him for any favors. The conversation was stilted and awkward but eventually he had placed his request. So the General intervened. He told Sam that he would get him a chance to try out but it was up to him to exceed the standards otherwise it would look bad for both of them and undermine his authority.

He knew Sam's abilities and his age should definitely not be a factor in his case. He was more mature and stable than some double his age. In the end he made it, he never doubted he would.

The last time he ever intervened in Sam's assignments or military career was when he made sure that Matt and Sam were assigned to the same unit fresh out of special ops training. What he made of himself from that point would be all his own. Sam needed that, to be out of the General's shadow so to speak. He was so sadden when Matt died. Matt was a good man, died way too young.

The General was pulled from his memories as Holleran spoke to him "William, General, Sir, we need to talk."

He took a deep breath, looked at Sam's bruised and abused face once more then gently laid him back on the gurney, not really ready to let go of him. He stood and turned to face the others. Assuming his calm, steady authority voice he said "I want to thank you all very much for all you have done for Sam. He has been through a lot."

The General took a moment to assess the nine men and one woman in front of him. They looked like hell, every last one of them. Whatever Sam had been through they had been through with him. There were dark circles under most of their eyes and a drawn tight look to their faces. These people had gone above and beyond for his son and they were thoroughly spent. He made a decision.

"You all have been through a certain hell the last two days. Although I had planned on briefing everyone on the situation tonight, it can wait. You all need rest. I will move Sam to a secure location so he can get the rest he needs. Captain Blain, I will make other arrangements for his security for the next day or two. In three days' time we can reconvene and I will brief you then." He was about to continue when Blaze interrupted.

"Sir, with all due respect that will not work. I do not plan to leave Blondie's side until I know he is free of whatever this threat is. If you think that is insubordination Sir then you can have my walking papers now. I will not be swayed from this decision" Blaze stated firmly then set his jaw in an unforgiving line and stared at the General.

"I second that Sir" Winds added forcefully.

Followed by a chorus of strongly voiced 'Copy that' from the SRU officers. The General was taken aback.

"He is our responsibility, our family. We take care of our own. He will keep him safe, we promised. He belongs here, we will protect him" Jules interjected passionately with eyes that glowered.

"I see" the General said slowly trying to decide how to proceed and deciding to relent in the face of a far stronger force. He was a General after all and he knew when he was outflanked.

"So if that is how you all feel we need to make a plan, Sam needs proper rest and care now. Something more than a gurney in this room" he said looking to each of them.

He was happy for Sam, he had such good friends. But he was jarred by another thought; god please let Sam be okay. He really did need help right now. He had felt the fever, he had heard the screaming, he knew about the physical and mental trauma he'd gone through in the past two days. A person could take only so much.

The group was starting to disperse around the room again after having been clumped together in a corner observing the General. Winds spoke "Sir you are correct that the lot of us are exhausted, but we could rotate shifts watching over Blondie. As for where I'm not certain, you're right this room is not ideal."

"What about taking him to his place. He'd be comfortable there" Lou suggested.

"Not secure, if there is a threat against him that would be one of the first places they would check" Ed offered.

"Not a hospital either. Two reasons, hard to secure and he would just leave at the first opportunity. Can't keep him in them. Never understood the irrational fear" Patch stated.

The General nodded and thought to himself, I know why he hates them. Those damned orderlies terrorized the poor boy. Wish I could have done more than just dress them down. Then winced at that realizing what that had caused.

"I have an idea. I will get a suite and several adjacent rooms at the Royal York. Captain, would you be able to adequately secure the area?" he asked.

"Yes Sir. I would with the appropriate man power. I have a request that will solve two issues. I request that I be allowed to bring in the other four members of my unit. I trust them implicitly even though we have only been together for a little over a month. It would give us the man power we need and it would allow us to get some much needed rest" Blaze said as he rubbed his weary eyes knowing that they all needed rest. It was hard to be on top of your game when dog-tired.

"Okay that resolves the security, but what of his physical needs. Patch can't stay up 24/7, he's about to drop as it is. I know he's a miracle worker but …" Winds trailed off looking over at his drained buddy with a worried smile.

Patch gave him a look that said both 'thanks' and 'what the hell, I'd do anything for Blondie'. But he knew Winds was right he was dead tired. Then an idea came to him.

"When Heather brought the supplies earlier she told me she had the next three days off and said if we needed anything to call her. Maybe she'd be willing to help watch him while I got a bit of shut eye. She seemed nice and concerned about all of us the other day. God was that just last night, wow. I noticed that she had changed his name on the chart board too when I was talking to Dr. Fraser" Patch said as a small grin teased the corners of his mouth.

"She did what?" asked Spike.

"She changed his name on the nurses chart board" Patch repeated with a full grin.

"To what?" Spike asked itching to know seeing the grin on Patch's face giving him a clue but wanting to hear it anyway.

"Samtastic" he replied. Loud boisterous laughter erupted from all except the General who was looking a bit concerned. Were they so tired their minds had cracked. But Samtastic, yeah that fit and allowed a hint of a smile to cross his face.

"Oh my god, she didn't. Told you Samtastic was way better than Blondie" Spike said gleefully.

As the laughter died down a bit Patch said "So should I see if she would be willing to help?" Heads nodded yes. He made the call and Heather said she was honored that he had called and she would be delighted to help.

Patch then gave her a list of supplies he needed. He needed to redress the wounds, more pain meds, more saline and more fever reducer along with a few other items. He told her to meet them at the Royal York hotel, to ask the front desk to call up to General Braddock's room and that an escort would arrive to bring her up. Just before he hung up he asked her to arrange for more sedative too. It would probably be a good idea to keep Blondie under for a few days so his physical body had a chance to recover before he had to deal with the rest.

The plan was taking shape. The General contacted the Royal York and arranged for the rooms. In fact he cleared an entire wing of one floor, it would make security easier. The General also thought it would be nice to provide a room to each of them to get some much needed rest without having to be far from Sam. It was the least he could do, some small repayment for taking care of Sam.

Spike had talked with Winds and Holleran to get the necessary equipment to setup security cameras. Greg had gotten Sam's keys from his locker. He and Jules were now on their way to his apartment to get clothing and personal care items Sam may need and then to their respective places to gather the same.

Blaze contacted Colonel Sutton, who had assigned him and Winds the detail and requested the rest of his unit be assigned. He was hesitant to do it so the General took the phone for a moment and resolved the issue with the Colonel. Hal and the others would be sent straight away but it would be a few hours until they arrived. Blaze contacted Hal directly and arrange for him to bring a kit and change for him and Winds.

Security, medical, personal items and lodging arrangements made Wordy looked at Sam and said "So how do we get him there? I doubt we want to attract attention wheeling him through the lobby on a gurney. Not after all the pictures of him on the news lately. And striding in with the General would also get noticed." Everyone stopped to think, no one was coming up with any good ideas.

They were all stuck on solutions going through the lobby when Lou offered "We could take him through the back service entrance. We could cover his head with a hat pulled low so no one can glimpse his face. Two of us can sling his arms over our shoulders and carry him in."

"I like most of it but given his injuries I wouldn't want to put that kind of pressure on his arm, shoulder or ribs. We need a wheel chair at bare minimum but I would still prefer this" Patch said pointing to the gurney.

They pondered suggestions for a while more, They were coming up blank so it was decided to leave it up Patch, Blaze, Ed and Wordy to figure a plan to get Sam safely there without attracting undue attention. That way Winds, Spike, Lou and the General could leave for the hotel and get the security set up before Sam arrived.

Although he did not want to leave Sam at this time, Holleran still had a job to do running SRU. He had to make arrangements to give Team One extra time allotted to this protection detail. While Team Four was still out on annual leave and dealing with the loss of Aaron.

He was down two teams, not good. The other teams would have to pull extra duty and he wasn't sure how that was going to sit with those teams. He also had to reschedule the SIU interview for Jules and Sam. Jules would need to do it tomorrow but Sam's would have to wait until he was able.

As he walked out of the briefing room he noticed that Inspector Davis was still there and looking upset. He walked towards him and said "He will be okay. We all will see to that. I'd like to thank you for your investigative skills and for bringing that suicide note to my attention. It may have not sounded like it earlier but I think it was a good thing and may help to heal a very old wound for two people. I'd like to know what the psychologist had to say. Will you join me in my office?"

Davis nodded and followed him into his office. When the door was shut he shared what he had learned from Dr. Carter. Holleran shook his head and simply said "Tragic, all around tragic. Thank you again" then stood and shook Davis's hand before the inspector left.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – One hour later_**

In the end, Ed came up with the idea of how to get Sam to the hotel. He called Sophie and arranged to use a catering truck. They rigged up the gurney with poles on four corners and then draped it to look like a food rack, Sam completely hidden. They all donned caterer jackets and went in the service entrance then took the service elevator to the fifteenth floor.

They had just settled Sam in the bed when the phone rang. It was the front desk. Heather was here to see the General. Spike jumped up and said he would go get her, she was the best in his book, she liked Samtastic better than Blondie.

He gave her a huge grin when he met her at the desk. "Hey, let me take that for you, you're a real life saver" as he grabbed a large nondescript box off the floor. "Samtastic is gonna appreciate all your help. In fact we all do. Were you able to get everything we need or do I need to send someone out to get anything?" he said in a lighthearted manner.

Heather replied "Got everything and some things he didn't ask for but we might need. I like being prepared. I'm really glad you guys called me to help with Samtastic, he's special isn't he?" She smiled and followed as Spike headed to the elevator.

"Yep, very special" Spike responded with a strong emphasis on the word very.

A man had walked into the lobby and saw a pretty woman standing at the desk apparently waiting on someone. He sat down in a chair and pulled out the newspaper and was stewing when he overheard the banter between some man and he assumed that woman. He thought what a stupid nickname.

As he half listened to them he read that the funeral for SRU officer Aaron Plouffe was planned for three days from today. They were waiting for some of his teammates to return before they held it. He was disgruntled, and maybe rightfully so, the newspaper allotted tons of space talking about the injured SRU officer and his exploits that day but barely a word was printed about the one who had died. That didn't seem right Aaron was a good man. Even the dammed gang lord got more attention.

He rustled the newspaper in frustration. Damn he needed to plan, he still needed a plan. He had gone to the hospital this afternoon hoping to give him an overdose of morphine but he was not there.

First, I have to find him. I'll check his apartment tomorrow. He's not in good shape from what little information he gathered from people that worked there. He was surprised that no one was talking. Usually it was easy to get that kind of information. Anyways, now he needed another plan. Damn that toy soldier is hard to kill.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Two hours later_**

Hal and the rest of the unit had shown up an hour ago and assumed security detail. When they arrived the SRU officers had gone to their respective homes to gather necessary items and check in with their families. They had all returned just a short while ago and everyone except the three unit members on guard duty in the hall and at the elevator were gathered in the main suite living room. It was huge, must be the governor's suite or something thought Lou.

The General had ordered up an assortment of food, enough to feed an army. They were all starved and were not shy about digging in. Once the initial hunger was sated, they relaxed in the collection of chairs and couches. Patch had invited Heather to eat saying Blondie would be fine for a few minutes, he was just a few steps away in the other room. His vitals were looking much better, except for the fever, it would not budge. At least it wasn't rising, small blessing.

As they lounged for a bit to let their food settle they discussed security rotations. It was decided that the fresh JTF2 guys would handle it for tonight. Heather would take the night shift with Blondie. That way everyone else could get a nights rest. Nobody would go as far as saying a good night's rest because they all knew it would be fitful at best given all that had transpired. But at least it would be a respite in a soft bed. After another few minutes they headed off to their assigned rooms for some much need sleep.

The General had put Sam in a room with two queen beds. He was not leaving his son tonight. He had showered and changed in to comfortable sweats and t-shirt then entered the room. Heather was just finishing administering more sedative per Patch's orders, one he completely agreed with and he gave her a soft smile and said "Thank you."

She nodded slightly and turned to put the syringe away and to give the man a moment of privacy with his son.

He wished Sam was small again and he could get away with gathering him in his arms and holding him while he slept. But he was all grown so he would have to make do with being as close as the bed next to him. Just before he got into his own bed, he leaned down to Sam and placed a kiss to his forehead. "Sleep well my boy, sleep well."


	22. Bit of Normalcy & Briefing

**Before Bed, Bit of Normalcy &amp; Briefing**

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel - Blaze's Room_**

As Blaze and the rest stepped into the hall to head to their rooms Blaze held Winds and Patch back. "Guys, we need to talk." Not wanting their conversation to be overheard he said "Let's head to my room." The three entered his room a few moments later and Blaze closed the door.

"What's up?" Winds asked but already had a clue. The same thing was on his mind and the clouds were beginning to form.

Blaze walked to the window and stared out then said in an aggravated tone "The General. That is not the man we know. Not the man who had no regard for Blondie for the nearly six years he was with us. The man who kept assigning Blondie to work with other units, when he should have had down time. The man that refused us when we requested to look for Blondie when he was taken. Hell it just doesn't add up."

"I'm really struggling with it too" Patch put in. "The way he held Blondie at the SRU HQ. That can't be someone that is that cold and calculated. Holleran's words and the General's actions now just don't match to the bastard we know. Why would he care if there was a threat to Blondie now he certainly didn't care when he was tortured for months?"

"I only saw him visit once when Blondie was back from that, no emotion at all that day, just cold. Why would he do all this? Why would he care now? Which is the true man? Why are they so different?" he said tiredly trying to make his head clear enough to understand, to find a reasonable answer.

Winds said very bitterly "What got to me was something he was whispering to Blondie. Don't know if either of you caught it but it is overpowering me. I heard him say 'look terrible … like the first time in Kandahar'."

"How the hell could he know what Blondie looked like that first time? All he wanted to know was if he died. He never even bothered to come see him. We know that for sure because we were with Blondie the entire time. We never left him alone." Winds dropped down on the bed working very hard to rein in his emotions before he let loose words he would later regret.

Still looking out the window Blaze said glumly "I caught that too. Made me remember that day; miss Gary still. Still remember how badly Blondie felt when we told him Gary didn't make it. That he thought it was his fault. He wasn't assuaged by the fact that he saved us three and Mason."

"He kept telling me that Gary would be alive if he'd been faster, if he had seen the C4 sooner, if he avoided the bullet he would have gotten there sooner. I remember laughing at him when he said if he had avoided the bullet. Like that was something he could have prevented. At the time I just didn't get it and just accepted it as part of who he is. But after today I think I understand. Sadly I really think I do."

"No I didn't hear that, I was too focused on how he was holding him. The look on his face tonight was much like that damned photo. Maybe Holleran is right. Maybe Blondie mixed some things up in his head as a little boy. Something like seeing your little sister die in front of you would be very disturbing. But that still doesn't explain the other stuff. It just does not" Patch said unhappily.

"So what do we do about it right now? How do we proceed with our version of Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde?" Winds asked sharply with pent-up emotion.

Hearing that well known tone in Winds voice, Blaze turned quickly and studied Winds. Oh shit, he thought, the storm is gathering. The outburst at Holleran was a category three. He is definitely brewing again. If he lets loose this time it will likely cost him his career.

Most people thought Winds nickname was because of his job as communication specialist, 'like talking to the winds'. The unit let others think that, but the real reason was the hurricane force of words that he occasionally unleashed. Those 'winds' of words could be devastating to the target of them. But mostly it ended up costing Winds, reprimands and demotions. That's why he was still only a Master Corporal after so many years in service.

Blaze considered the question trying to figure a way to dissipate the storm before it developed fully "I think it's best for now to put it on the back burner. Focus on protecting Blondie while he is unable to do it for himself. It doesn't jive at all anymore. But even if the General was responsible for doing all those things to Blondie while he served, Blondie is no longer under his command. He's safe at the SRU."

Winds and Patch gave him a 'are kidding me' look. "Well at least safer than over in Kandahar" Blaze amended, seeing that Blondie's current condition was a result of activities with the SRU.

Blaze looked at Winds trying to judge if his words had any affect. He couldn't tell. He was so damned tired it was hard to tell. Maybe sleep would help all of them get a grip.

With no more words they just gave each other a one-armed hug before Winds and Patch left for their rooms. Blaze was so spent he didn't even bother to pull the covers down as he let himself fall onto the bed. He was asleep within seconds.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel - Spike and Lou's Room_**

Spike had just finished showering and changed into comfortable shorts for sleeping. He exited the bathroom and nodded to Lou. They had offered to room together so that Heather would have a room to herself. "So you pick your bed? Window or door? This room has an awesome view, city is all lit up. Do you find the coffee pot?" Spike rambled on.

Lou knew something was bothering him. He rambled like this when his emotions were frazzled. But he hadn't yet gotten to his point. He would continue listening until he heard what it was that had Spike concerned. It always eventually came out, just had to let him spew a bit first.

So he listened, ah there it is 'did I set up enough cameras, did I find all the blind spots'. Lou interrupted using a calming, smooth voice he said "Spike, you did good. No blind spots man. Sam is covered well. All will be just fine tonight. It's okay to sleep now. I'll get the light. You take the window bed." As Lou rose, Spike crawled into the bed and closed his weary eyes. Lou turned off the light and did likewise.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel - Jules Room_**

Just as she reached her room Jules phone rang. She looked at the number and recognized it as Commander Holleran's. He called to inform her she was to meet with agent Stevens of SIU tomorrow eight am in the lobby for the interview regarding the bank lethal force.

Jules really did not want to be far from Sam and was glad the interview would take place here. As she hung up Jules thought, I'll just be glad to get that one over with. She was still mad at herself for having tears in her eyes and her blink had allowed Tom to shoot Sam. He had a fractured collarbone because she wasn't ready.

Tears started to flow yet again and turned to sobbing. She needed to pull herself together. Damn she was going to have to figure out what was going on in her head. This man was affecting her too much. Time to sleep she told herself, sleep will help.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel - Main Suite_**

Hal was watching the security monitors from the station that had been set up in the corner of the main suite. He thought, the man that set this up is dammed good, not a single blind spot, impressive. Everything looked clear. He checked in with Angus, Daniel and Russ. All clear reports from each. He leaned back in the chair and looked over at the vast amount of food leftover. He was grabbing himself a sandwich when Heather walked out of Sam's room. "How is he?"

"Resting, fever is rising a bit. But I think it will peak soon and then drop afterwards" she replied. Heather helped herself to another sandwich hating to see it all go to waste. "How's everything on the security front? Do you think any of your guys might want a snack? I could pop out and run one to them" she offered lightly.

"No they're good. Wouldn't want them distracted. Something happens to Blondie on my watch I know eight guys and one gal that would have my head on a platter" he guffawed but was deadly serious as he swiftly returned to the monitors. That petite female SRU officer had a fierce look that scared him more than all the burly men put together. It clearly said 'you let one hair on his head be harmed and you'll have to deal with me'. A tremor went down his spine as he recalled it.

The night passed quietly for all.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel - Gym_**

It was five am the next morning and Ed was on the treadmill in the hotel gym keeping a steady pace when Wordy walked in. "Wow, thought I'd beat everyone" he said as he sat on the bike. Creatures of habit Wordy knew the team would show up in the gym this morning at the usual time.

Just then Greg opened the door. A smile and a shake of his head "Ya know we gotta stop meeting like this" he said as he chose the elliptical machine.

"Meeting like how" piped in Spike as he and Lou entered. Lou went to the small selection of free weights, no weight machines or bench presses available. Spike sat on an exercise ball and bounced around enthusiastically since there were no more items to use. "Wow we need one of these, great workout" he said sarcastically but secretly thinking it would be fun to have one.

"He looks like an adult but acts like a kid. Can't take him anywhere" Ed snorted.

Spike was about to retort when Jules arrived. She smiled at Spike's antics. "Looks like I'm too late no more toys. I see Spike is playing with the best toy. You guys waitin your turn?"

"Nah, Spike won't share. Make him share. He always hogs the good toys. Never lets me play with babycakes either" Lou pouted.

They all chuckled. Today was starting out nice. There was a small sense of normalcy restored after a full night's sleep, even if the situation itself was not.

Two hours later as they were leaving the gym Jules pulled Greg to the side. "Boss, the Commander called last night. I'm meeting with agent Stevens at eight today. She offered to meet me here. So I'm going to clean up and meet her in the lobby. I'll join you all after I'm done" she said like she was carrying a great burden.

"Understood" Greg said. He'd heard her tone and saw a look in her eye so he ventured "You know Jules, you couldn't have prevented Tom from firing. It all just happened so fast. Sam wouldn't want you to beat yourself up over it."

Click that was it. The shift in her eyes told him he hit the target. Her look had told him there wasn't anything he could say to her to change her mind. She'd have to work it out herself. So he just smiled and put a reassuring arm around her shoulders and tugged her forward "Come on, let's go."

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel - Lobby_**

Promptly at eight am, Jules entered the lobby and found Stevens waiting in one of the chairs. Stevens got up and said "I've arranged for a small private room. If you would follow me we will see about getting this done as quickly as possible. I know you have somewhere else you need to be."

Jules had started to follow when she overheard a conversation at the front desk and halted.

A woman behind the desk said "No sir I cannot tell you that information."

The man replied "But I need to know if General Braddock is staying here it is important." That got her attention and she turned to look at the man. He was an Army Officer.

"I'm sorry sir. I can neither confirm nor deny whether he is staying here."

He looked really agitated as he said "This is a matter of high security, I need that information."

The woman wasn't daunted "Then I suppose you will have to go through military channels to locate this General you are looking for. Is there anything else I can help you with Major?"

Jules mind was churning. Odd that someone was trying to find the General. She assumed they would know how to get a hold of him. Jules was about to move to talk with the man when agent Stevens said "Coming?" Jules turned and went with Stevens as she mentally logged the information for later consideration.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel - Main Suite_**

The interview with Stevens was efficient. Deemed an acceptable use of lethal force. She was surprised to be heading to the main suite just before nine am, the time they had set for all to meet. Glad she would not be late and miss anything of importance.

Jules entered the suite and noticed she was the last to arrive. She grabbed a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll from the tray on the table then sat down. Wow the General was making sure no one went hungry. There was always so much food. "Sir, thank you for all this" Jules said while sweeping her arm towards the food.

"It's the least I can do" he replied noticing that the black circles under her eyes had abated a bit. "How's he doing?" he continued when Heather entered the room.

"His fever peaked then broke around four am. His color is looking better. Vitals are good. He's resting well now, body healing" Heather said smiling. There were small sighs of relief all around.

"I think it's best to keep him fully sedated all of today and then start to wean him tomorrow" Patch added.

Blaze stood up, taking a sip of coffee "Ed and I have worked out the security teams and rotation schedule. We will break into three teams of four. I will lead Alpha with Spike, Greg and Angus. Ed will lead Bravo with Jules, Hal and Daniel. Winds will lead Charlie with Wordy, Lou and Russ."

"We felt a mix of SRU and JTF2 on each team would be best, keep us all in the know. We will rotate on eight hour shifts. Alpha up first, then Bravo, followed by Charlie. The only exception is that Angus will get some rest now and join Alpha for our next shift. Ed will be covering for Angus this shift."

Patch interrupted "Whoa, where am I in all of this?"

"Always impatient, always. Patch you and Heather are responsible for Blondie's health. You get to pull twelve hour shifts. Satisfied" he grinned knowing that Patch would feel better being as close as possible to Blondie when he was out cold. It always unnerved him when he was like that. He said Blondie wasn't able to defend himself like that. "Any questions?" he asked looking at those around him.

It was then Jules remembered the front desk incident. "Not a question. Just something I observed in the lobby." She recounted the event and noticed the General stiffen. "General is that an issue?" she inquired.

Forcefully relaxing his tense body the General stated "I had hoped not to repeat the briefing. I would have preferred Samuel hear it at the same time. But yes I think it might be important and should not wait until Samuel can join. I'll brief you all now and then speak with Samuel when he awakens tomorrow."

He strode to the table to refresh his coffee and took a drink before continuing "Before I begin, I need to let you know the information I'm about to share is top secret. Therefore, I must ask Heather and Hal to exit the room because they have not been given appropriate clearance."

A look of 'what?' crossed Hal's face but he did not speak. The SRU team was wondering why they and Patch were allowed to stay for top secret information but Hal had to leave.

The General saw the looks and explained "When I knew I was coming, Holleran provided all your names including the paramedic, Patch. I rushed the proper clearances through the channels because I was aware you may need to be involved at some point. The other JTF2 men and Heather I was unaware of at the time and therefore they do not have the proper clearance."

Hal got the picture and quickly offered "General, I understand sir. Blaze, I suggest that Heather goes to her room to rest. Then Angus and I will take up positions in the hall near the elevator while Daniel and Russ get some shut eye. That way you can focus on the briefing without worrying about security at the moment. When you are done, you can relive us and we will get rest."

"Good plan, Hal" Blaze responded. So Hal and Heather headed out of the suite to their appointed locations.

Patch checked his watch "Hey sorry, can we hold a moment? I need to do a quick check on Blondie. It's about time for the sedative."

The General nodded and Patch hopped up from the chair. Everyone took the opportunity to grab coffee, a donut or piece of fruit and settled in.

It took Patch longer than he had planned. The IV site had become infiltrated and he had to change the IV location. It took him rather a long time to locate a good vein to use. He also had to elevate his arm to reduce the swelling caused by the infiltration. Damn it was never easy with Blondie.

When he was done with that he administered more sedative and pain meds and checked his vitals. When he returned to the room there were some worried looks. He explained and they relaxed as he apologized for taking so long.

The General cleared his throat "Alright then let's start. Shortly after Samuel was attacked by Donner, Norm called me to let me know what happened. When the investigator tried to take a picture of Samuel covered in Donner's blood he reacted instantly and would not allow it. It sparked a concern" the General began.

A chorus of "What?" and "Picture?" was emitted from several with confusion.

"Holleran didn't tell you about that?" All shook no.

"No we never got the briefing with Holleran. Inspector Davis showed up with the information on the suicide note. All hell broke loose after that" Winds supplied disgruntled.

"And the picture" Jules added getting a confused look from the General.

Before he could ask what she meant Greg interjected "Sir, we were briefed on some issues of a personal nature between yourself and Sam resulting from Sara's death. We were shown the photo taken of Sam that day." He rubbed his hands over his eyes to composed himself as the memory of it flooded in.

"We will respect your privacy there. That is a matter for the two of you to address as you see fit. Please just tell us of things that would be relevant to Sam's safety now" Greg concluded.

The General was a bit relieved they knew the history. It would be easier for them to understand having seen the photo. But how to start? How to make it make sense? He decided he had to give some history and details, not gonna be pretty he thought.

So he started "Okay. If something does not make sense please ask and I will do my best to explain. The new situation is connected to one I have been dealing with for years. I need to give you the history so bear with me through it."

"There are things that still do not make sense to me. Things my analysts cannot decipher. All I know is after years of the same something changed after Samuel left the Army. As a result of that change and information that came to light three months ago the potential source of the harassment was identified."

"Holleran's call made my gut wrench. I believe recent events have precipitated a credible threat to Samuel's life now. No longer just harassment of me." He stopped and looked at each of them gauging their comprehension so far.

Satisfied he continued "When the investigator tried to take a picture last night Holleran came up with a lame duck excuse to stop it. He knew I could never allow another picture of that nature to be taken or circulated again. I decked the idiot that took the one of Samuel as a boy" a satisfied smile played across followed by sorrow.

"As repayment he leaked it to the press. Damned newspaper actually printed it. How do they do that to a little boy? Anyway I digress. As you may or may not have noticed I was in that photo too and it showed my emotional reaction to Samuel's anguish."

Nods indicating yes they noticed, well at least Jules noticed and pointed it out.

The General continued "About ten years ago, I received a copy of that photo anonymously. It had the words 'soft spot' scrawled across Samuel's chest it in red marker. As a General I'm used to getting a certain amount of threats and harassment but nothing like that had happened before."

"It unnerved me. Samuel was eighteen and had just joined. In fact he was in boot camp at the time. There was no defined threat so there was nothing to do. After that first one I didn't get any more until Samuel was in Special Ops training years later."

"Once he was with JTF2 I got them fairly regularly mostly with some obscure words on them. The meaning of which I still don't understand. Some however had very clear taunts written on them" he said stopping to take a drink.

He was about to continue when Jules interjected "What kind of taunts?" hoping to profile the sender.

The General thought "There were several, but three that hit hardest were 'toy soldier fallen?', 'run Sammy run' and 'fly Sammy fly'. I have them all. If you think they might be useful I could have an aide send them" the General said flatly.

Jules saw the same type of mask falling into place that Sam wore. It struck her they were a lot alike. They hid their emotions. She hated to ask but she said "That would probably help if these are related to the current threat."

She did not quite know how a photo sent to him connected to Sam so she said "Sir, why did those hit the hardest?"

Blaze saw the General slightly shudder and sorrow glimpsed in his eyes before he answered Jules question. "Bec..ause …"

My god the General's voice actually cracked Patch noticed.

The General cleared his throat then continued firmly "I remember those ones because I received each of those after Samuel was severely injured. Whoever was sending those photos to harass me knew things that were not public knowledge. They had to be coming from someone within JTF2. Because injury reports are not known outside JTF2 due to the secrecy of missions. Hence the ongoing investigation."

"The messages were never direct threats, just unsettling words about events that happened to Samuel. The investigators had no leads and thought the person sending them was simply taunting me. Taking advantage of things that happened to Samuel to twist a virtual knife in me."

"I agreed with them until the last photo, but hold any questions about the last one. I'll get there. As I said the second photo I received was when Samuel was training for Special Ops. The message on that one was 'fly Sammy fly'. It was delivered shortly after Samuel nearly died in a training accident" his voice faltering a bit on the words nearly died.

Spike gasped "Sir, nearly died. How?" he asked softly surprised to hear this.

"Jumped off a mountain to save his teammate" the General sighed.

"What?" several voices rang out.

"Christ, he jumped off a mountain! I know the kid's reckless sometimes but what the hell happened? Why'd he do it?" Ed asked aghast.

The General looked at them, not really wanting to relive the experience but decided to tell them anyway. "The Commander contacted me directly after it happened because Samuel was in such bad shape the doctors didn't think he would make it through the night. He called as a courtesy to an old friend, wanted to give me the opportunity to say goodbye to Samuel. I demanded to know what happened and he eventually explained it all to me."

"Apparently Samuel had been put in charge of three men for an exercise. It was a new exercise not a standard part of training. One of the training officers wanted to try it. He said it was to test and develop leadership under pressure and would be conducted under open mics so the training officers could assess."

"Their task was to hike to the top of a mountain then rappel down the cliff face. Unbeknownst to Samuel the other three had been ordered to be as obnoxious and difficult as possible to see if they could rattle him on the hike up the mountain. For the rappelling part they were instructed to stop due to safety concerns."

"All the way up the men gave Samuel a hard time and tested his patience by questioning every order. The Commander said he made mistakes as to be expected. He lost his cool at one point and called a guy an asshat and told him he didn't belong in special ops. But the Commander said overall he handled it well in the three hours it took them to get to the rappelling location."

"When they got there Samuel directed them to prepare to rappel. He secured his line and was the only one ready. Unfortunately the men had really taken to harassing him and forgotten that it was supposed to stop at the top. They were completely out of line as they prepared to rappel, refusing to secure their lines properly."

"Samuel snapped at them hard about putting the unit at risk by their behavior. Two of the guys realized their error and quickly secured their lines. The third was face to face with Samuel when he yelled 'Back off Braddock, you're only here because daddy pulled strings. You're the one that doesn't belong. You're the asshat.' Then he shoved Samuel backwards."

"The guy then lost his footing and fell over the cliff. Samuel launched himself after the guy. Hurdling himself over the cliff in an attempt to grab him. Samuel was able to catch hold around the man's waist as they both fell."

"As Samuel's line reached its end they slammed hard into the cliff several times. Samuel took the brunt of it because he was between the man and the mountain side" he shook his head and stood to pace needing to move.

"Somehow Samuel had the presence of mind to clip his safety harness to the other guy who was knocked out by the impact. It was a good thing he was able to do that because Samuel lost consciousness and his hold on the guy just before they were pulled to the top by the other men. If he had not clipped the man to him, the guy would have fallen to his death."

"The Commander said he wasn't sure how the hell Samuel was able to stay conscious so long and manage to clip the guy in. You see in the impact Samuel broke five ribs, punctured his lung, broke his right arm in two places, dislocated his right shoulder, broke his collarbone, cracked his skull and had internal bleeding due to a ruptured spleen."

"When I finally got there and saw him my heart broke. He looked so young and vulnerable in that ICU room. He was on that dammed ventilator for just over a week. A couple of times we thought we'd lost him as his vitals crashed. Thank god he was too stubborn to give up" the General finished and sat heavily back into the chair his eyes cloudy. He remained silent.

They were all shocked by the description of what Sam had done and his injuries. Jules's and Spike's faces had drained of all color. A few got up and shifted around the room unable to sit still. Both Ed and Blaze paced slowly, both having similar thoughts along the lines of 'damned crazy, to many unacceptable risks for others'.

"So, you got a photo after that and it said 'fly Sammy fly'. Right? When did you get the next one?" Greg prompted knowing the group needed to push forward to get through all the information the General needed to share.

They were beginning to wonder if the General was going to say more when he looked a Blaze and said "I got the next one about four months after Samuel joined your unit. That one that said 'run Sammy run'. It was about one week after Samuel got injured in the building explosion. I didn't understand the meaning of the words until after I read the report" he said as he looked to the three buddies.

"I came to see him every night. I was able to slip in the second night when your unit guy nodded off. His face now reminds me of then. Thank you for watching over him. I hated to be so cold on the phone."

"Why then? We thought you were a coldhearted bastard who only wanted to know when he was dead" Patch asked totally flabbergasted at the Generals words.

Team One just stared. There was so much they didn't know about the rookie. His past was too full of hurt for someone his age.

The General looked directly at Patch and stated "Samuel seemed to always pay for me being a General in one way or another. The photo messages had me worried. I figured if I distanced myself from him make it seem he was not a soft spot they would stop. I was wrong. They kept coming no matter how hard I tried to make it seem I did not care."

"If you don't mind, please what happened to Sam that time" Wordy asked. Patch regained his self-control and recounted the whole story about Blondie running to save his teammates from the rigged building. Blaze told them how Blondie blamed himself for Gary's death.

After hearing the first two accounts Spike was afraid to know the answer but had to ask "So what did 'toy soldier fallen?' refer too? That is just a bizarre message."

Spike was sorry he asked as he watched the General's reaction. Tears immediately welled up in the General's eyes as he turned quickly away from the group and walked to the window. The normal erect posture was slumped and his head dropped to his chest.

Stunned at the reaction most were still. Blaze realized which event it was tied to as tears welled in his eyes too. He rose and joined the General. "Sir would you like me to tell them. I think I know when you got that one. Was it at the beginning or end?" he inquired with a shaky voice.

"Both, twice" Braddock whispered in answer.

Blaze turned to the group taking a steadying breath said "The 'toy soldier fallen?' refers to when Blondie was captured and tortured for three months. The General received one when Blondie was taken and one after he was found." He knew he did not need to explain more, they all knew what happened then. There was a loud intake of breath from several.

Undetected by the others, hot and cold emotions were roiling deep and clashing within Winds as he sat not moving a single muscle, a storm was brewing.

"Whoever this person is, they are a freaking bastard!" exploded Spike. "We need to find him and put a stop to this" he continued slightly more controlled.

The General composed himself slightly drawing himself tall and taut. He turned to the group and said "We all need a break. I'm going to check on Samuel." With that he strode into the room and closed the door firmly behind him.

They started to discuss the meaning of the photos but needed more information. Was someone only provoking emotional hurt with those photos or was there something else behind it? If so what? It had gone on for years. They started to disperse a bit as Spike pulled out his laptop and began to search for information. He wasn't sure what he was looking for but he couldn't sit idle. So he tapped away.

Jules, Lou and Greg were now intently discussing what the possible motivation or profile of the subject might be.

Ed, Wordy, Blaze and Patch stood in a corner discussing Sam's real problem of putting himself at risk. It was gonna get him killed one day they all agreed. They pondered how or if they could ever change that behavior.

Winds continued to sit unmoving staring at nothing totally engulfed in the emotions warring within.

As he watch Samuel sleep the General thought to himself. Showing emotions shows your weaknesses. They can be used to harm the ones you love. That damned photo had been used for years against me, against you. Family is my one soft spot.

I've failed to protect Samuel so many times and he hates me for it. GET CONTROL NOW Braddock he yelled in his own mind. Now is not the time to try and sort this out. You are on the job.

Put the emotions way in your fortress. Bar the gates and lock them down. They will not help Samuel right now. Get Control. He started to put his General mask back on to rejoin the group.

He groaned a bit as he realized just how un-General Badass like he'd been in front of his JTF2 men for the past day. Might be some interesting repercussions from letting his guard drop so far down. But it was all about Samuel and it was so very hard to hide those emotions.

One last deep cleansing breath, saying to himself as he stood 'I'm not a coward, time to face this, repercussions be damned'. He opened the door and strode out more confident.

He'd seen the expressions on the group. They all cared and they were intelligent. He'd been trying with no success to resolve this for years. He had ideas and suspicions but no hard evidence. You cannot charge someone without evidence. He was pretty sure who, but still had no clue why. So he had been waiting, trying to find evidence.

But now if what he thought was right, Samuel was in danger and he needed help to end it once and for all. They would help. Time to lay the rest he knew and who he suspected out on the table.

As he strode back into the room the General asked "Everyone ready to continue?" Nods all around indicated yes. "Although those three burned the hottest, I received many, many more over years. Most not related to Samuel being hurt."

"They would just randomly show up. Always the same photo. The messages on the ones not related to injuries were always a variation of the same message. However my analysts couldn't figure out what it meant. It made no sense to them or to me."

"What was the message, the variations?" asked Spike hoping for something he could search on.

The General said "HL followed by a number and HB also followed by a number. The HL and HB were constant, just the numbers changed."

Heard shouted at once from three very angry JTF2 guys, no one able to distinguish who said which "FUCK", "SHIT" "DAMMIT."

All eyes pinned to them.

"Our code, our god damned code" Blaze expelled forcefully trying hard to get breath in.

"Your code?" the General asked alarmed, his gut was clenching, did he really want to know the answer.

A category five hurricane of words exploded from Winds "Every GOD DAMNED time YOU sent him out on a mission with another unit he came back out of it. They didn't care about him. It was our way to find out how bad it was physically and how many KILLS he had to make."

"HL the number of days he was out ALONE no one covering him. HB the number of targets he had to KILL. YOU FUCKING BASTARD, YOU NEARLY KILLED YOUR SON'S SOUL!"

"You are HEARTLESS. This, all this concern now doesn't wipe away what you did to him for nearly six years. HE NEVER HAD DOWN TIME. NEVER. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? He was in the field for SIX STRAIGHT YEARS. The ONLY breaks he got were when he was INJURED. Which happened way too damned often when with the other units."

"You never even punished the ASSHOLES that left him alone twenty kilometers away after seven days in his perch and thirty-two kills. They FORGOT him, JUST FORGOT HIM and went on their merry way. HE ALMOST FELL OFF THE EDGE THAT TIME. IT WAS TOO DAMNED CLOSE."

"He was your PERFECT SOLDIER. Always hit his target. So YOU USED AND ABUSED him for six long years. You have no idea how many times I WANTED TO KILL YOU FOR THAT. You had NO CONCERN for him. But he survived anyway."

"He coped with our help. He always did his job without fail. He always came back no matter what you threw at him UNTIL HE FINALLY BROKE AFTER KILLING MATT."

"I was sad about Matt but HAPPY, SO GOD DAMNED FUCKING HAPPY he was NO LONGER YOUR SOLDIER PUPPET."

Slammed hard with the hurricane force of Winds rage the General braced himself and assumed a steel-backed stance. His face hardened stone cold with a look that would put fear in most men. He held his ground unmoved and meeting the diatribe was spewed forth head on.

When the gale force stopped General Braddock spoke in an icy and unyielding hard voice "Corporal, you will stand down now_. _These are not light accusations you make. Calm now or I will have you detained. When you can explain yourself calmly I will listen."

Then he just stood silent. Jaw set. Immobile. Eyes locked directly on Winds and waited.

Winds glared at the General as his body shook violently with rage and adrenaline.

Blaze looked to the General and said "I'm taking him out. We will be back." He placed a hand on Winds shoulder and said "Come, come now." The two left the room closely followed by Patch. The rest simply stared at each other unable to fathom what had just happened.

The General did a crisp about face, strode stiffly to the window and stared out. He thought this is worse than he ever imagined as fury thundered through him burning, searing, blistering and shredding his heart. The sick bastard had been hurting his son all along and he never knew, never knew.

Samuel was in the field for six years straight. How? Why? Left alone, forgotten? Who? Why?

Oh god the last photo and message made sense now. The image of every message was etched into his brain. He started adding up the HB numbers as hot, stinging, angry tears flowed silently down his cheeks unchecked no longer caring if anyone saw.

He wanted to kill the man. If he was in the room now he'd be dead. Oh god Samuel, I'm so sorry son. I didn't know. I truly failed you. I'm not worthy of you.

It took Blaze, Patch and a small amount of sedatives nearly an hour to get Winds to calm sufficiently to return to the room. He had flatly told Blaze he would never apologize for his outburst, even if it cost him what little was left of his career. He'd wanted to tell that man off for so long. So much for putting it aside to protect Blondie, Blaze thought as they finally walked back towards the suite.

General Braddock had made a decision in that hour. He must finish the briefing. They needed to know the rest. Rebuilding and righting wrongs would have to wait until Samuel was safe from this merciless bastard.

So he took charge of the conversation when they entered "I have sorted through your words and accusations. Harsh as they were to hear, I am at fault. As the Commanding Officer it is ultimately my responsibility. I accept that fully."

"However, I must inform you that these actions were taken without my knowledge nor my consent and are counter to all I value. I believe you have just given me the means to finally bring the sadistic bastard who has been pulling the strings to justice. There are however a few more things I need to share."

Looking Winds directly in the eyes General Braddock asked "Are you prepared to listen Corporal? Can you remain calm? I ask because what I am going to tell you next may be painful for you to hear. Painful for all to hear."

"Yes Sir. I will contain myself" Winds responded and sat slumped slightly, an effect of the sedative.

The General's gaze intently assess each person in the room then proceeded "There is one more photo I need to tell you about. It is the last one I received and it was just after Samuel finalized his separation paperwork."

"It is the catalyst to where we are today. The last one is actually the hardest. It came shortly after Matt died. It was different. The photo was different. It came with a note. Those coupled with the final report I received three months ago on the friendly fire incident pointed to one man."

"I have not deduced why he did it. But I now fully understand what he meant in the note and the messages on the photo thanks to the Corporal's outburst. Neither I nor my analysts knew what they meant before."

"Holleran was aware of the contents of the note. One element changes things and makes Samuel a direct target after the results of the gang war call" Braddock stopped and inhaled deeply to steady his nerves.

"So what are the details?" asked Blaze as his gut raged.

Bracing himself mentally first the General started "The note read: 'Nice long run with my toy soldier. He's innocent. Never hurt me. Fun watching you hurt. Couldn't knock him over. Always stood again. Wanted him to do it. Would hurt you most. Didn't work out the way I planned. To bad toy soldier gone now'."

"This time it was a photo of Sam and Matt smiling. They looked so happy they had their arms around each other's shoulders. Messages were also written on both Sam and Matt chest's in the photo."

The General's voice lost all its steel and audibly shook with emotion as he said "On Matt it was 'All clear 184' and on Sam it was 'Bite the bullet'."

Blaze seethed connection instantly made. Fury flared red hot as he exploded in a deafening roar "I'LL KILL THE BASTARD NOW! RIGHT FUCKING NOW! MAJOR PLOUFFE IS A DEAD MAN!


	23. On Fire, 184 & Help Me

**On Fire, 184, Plotting &amp; Help Me**

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel - Main Suite_****  
**

Blaze continued to roar wholly enraged as he stormed towards the door with murderous intent, he was going to find and kill the bastard now and no one could stop him. Mayhem ensued as Ed, Winds, Patch, and Wordy tried to restrain him. All five were on the ground now as Blaze struggled relentlessly to get out of their hold.

Spike, Lou and Greg placed themselves in front of the door as a last line of defense should the others fail. So many voices yelling for him to calm down. But Blaze was too engulfed in blind fury to register them and continued to fight. Grunts and groans heard as blows were exchanged connecting hard but having no effect as he fought against them.

Patch was just about to get sedatives when a flood of bitterly ice cold water was dumped directly on Blaze's face shocking him into stillness as he sputtered for air.

Five men stared disbelievingly up to find Jules, water pitcher in each hand glaring at Blaze as she said in strict voice that demanded immediate obedience "Stop, behave now or …" as she tipped the second full pitcher ready to let it flow.

"Christ, remind me to never piss her off" Patch breathed out.

Spike and Lou were now bent over in laughter at all the surprised faces as Spike managed to say "She grew up with four older brothers, what'd ya expect".

Jules's glare was unrelenting and the pitcher was still poised ready to dump the contents as she asked "Are you ready to be good?"

Some semblance of wits returned to Blaze as he slowly nodded yes. Four guys cautiously removed their holds on Blaze and stood, ready to grab again if this was a fake out. Blaze lay still on the floor gaping at Jules.

"Damn Jules, great way to put out his fire. I'll have to remember that" Winds said in awe.

Calmly said "may I get up now ma'am?" DUMP. "What the hell?" Blaze sputtered out assaulted by the ice cold water again.

"Wrong word man, no one calls Jules ma'am" Wordy laughing almost too hard to get the words out.

Jules turned walked to a chair and calmly sat down and with a hint of a smile said "Got what he deserved. Just sayin."

It took a long time for the room to settle down, laughter ringing so loud that the men guarding the elevator wondered just what the hell was going on. When it finally quieted enough Greg asked "So I assume from Blaze's reaction that the man you suspect is a Major Plouffe. Is he any relation to Aaron Plouffe?"

The General still inwardly impressed by how Jules defused the situation simply stated "Yes, the Major is his uncle. The note said Sam was innocent, never harmed him. I believe that because Samuel was with Aaron when he died the Major will twist it and believe that Samuel has harmed him now, making him a target. I believe the man Jules saw in the lobby is the Major as he arrived in Toronto last week for a four week leave of absence."

Looking at the SRU officers he continued "I need your help. I need to find solid evidence of his crimes so he can be brought up on the appropriate charges, which will likely result in him never seeing the outside of a prison again."

"Sending harassing photos to a General would do that?" asked Lou skeptically.

"No but the crimes against Samuel would" he replied.

"I'm sorry Sir I don't understand, what crimes against Sam?" Lou responded.

"Willful and malicious neglect of the welfare of a subordinate for starters, I'm sure we will find more" the General stated.

Seeing Lou still did not connect Blaze added solemnly "The six straight years Blondie was in the field, for one." Lou nodded understanding now as Blaze continued "I'm guessing we might need to look for connections to abuses he suffered while with the other units too, like the ones who left him out alone. Others may need to be brought to justice too."

"I'm wondering if there is any connection to the training incident, we should look into that too." Jules offered. "You said it was not a standard exercise" she added when the General looked curiously at her then he nodded. He thought it was a stretch but this whole damned thing boggled his mind. How could this happen right under his nose, he was the Commander, he should have known.

"We also need to find out how this all started. Why the General was a target in the first place? With this change and Sam no longer within his control the Major may not be satisfied with just hurting the General emotionally anymore" Greg uttered.

"What do you need? I will make the appropriate arrangements grant you access to whatever you need" the General stated with a hint of hope in his voice. They discussed what they needed for quite a while. The General placed the necessary calls for access and called his aide Corporal Merrill to arrange to email his personal file on the harassment to Spike.

Patch had excused himself to check on Blondie and reported all well when he returned a short time later. It was nearing lunch time so the General ordered up another spread. Over lunch Ed and Blaze discussed their security plan again, the original no longer appropriate. Winds was asking Jules what it was like growing up with all those brothers.

Spike was too engaged with the personal file to take a break. He was determined to find the information needed. Lou fixed him a plate, grabbed him an energy drink and took it to him. Spike didn't even notice. Lou then joined Ed and Blaze to help with the security plan.

Wordy, Greg, Patch and the General sat off in a corner in quiet conversation, their topic Sam. He would eventually have to be woken up. Their concern was how he would handle all that happened previously and now the new threat. Wordy was worried it would be too much for him to handle that they needed to go carefully. They should allow Sam to set the pace.

Greg agreed thinking they should hold off on telling him about the new threat. Let him deal with the other first. The General felt that Sam had the capability to sort through it all at once and come out stronger, especially given what he had been through during his time in JTF2. In the end, they agreed to follow Wordy's advice, let Sam set the pace, give him the control to decide what he needed.

Just as Blaze, Winds and Ed and were about to leave to relieve the other guys so they could rest they heard Jules ask the General. "Sir. What did the Major mean by 'wanted him to do it, would hurt you most, didn't work out the way I planned'?" The meaning was there at the edge of her brain but something was barring her from seeing it as if protecting her.

Naked emotion laced his words as he explained. "I'm pretty sure it means he set up Samuel to kill Matt. I believe he thought he could get Samuel to kill himself to 'eat the bullet' after he found out it was Matt. The Major was the one who gave the all clear order. Thank god Samuel was stronger than he thought".

"Sam chose the beauty of life. He honored Matt by living" Spike stated loudly with conviction. His eyes never leaving his laptop as he continued to review the information on the photos that had arrived when everyone was eating lunch. He thought almost done, on the last one.

"I understand the all clear but not 184. What is that?" Lou inquired.

Just as Blaze and the General shared a look, that said 'they knew, should they tell' they heard "Noooooo, god no" as Spike wailed and looked to the General his eyes wide filled with grief and tears as all color left his face.

"Spike buddy, are you okay?" Wordy called out as he and Lou ran towards him because he looked like he was going to pass out. Spike couldn't respond. He had no words.

Barely above a whisper, Blaze moaned "His total kills. Matt was 184."

The information bomb annihilated all thoughts, sucked all the air from room and threatened to asphyxiate the occupants. Ragged inhalations and exhalations of air were the only sounds heard for an extended period of time.

Wordlessly the group eventually returned to the tasks at hand. Each one now more determined than ever to find the proof needed to nail this guy; to make him pay for his crimes. All were subdued, speaking only when necessary for the rest of the day. They worked diligently and made significant progress. Late that evening they gathered to review what they had found.

Jules was the first to report having investigated the training incident. It turned out that the training officer that suggested the new test had been a buddy of the Major. But when Jules had spoken to the officer about it he said the Major was the one that developed the test and influenced him to try the test. Apparently, the Major convinced him that the General was showing favoritism by allowing his son join without meeting the age requirement.

He bought into the assumption that the test would show if Sam had the maturity level to be there. They never repeated the test because of the injuries to Sam and the other guy. The risk was too great to the soldiers. He was sorry Sam had been hurt and broke off his friendship with the Major when he had laughed about the injuries. He was incensed that the man could be so callous.

Jules finished her report out "I inquired what happened to the guy that fell. The officer said his injuries were minor, a concussion, and that he passed and went on to join a unit in JTF2. I asked for the soldier's name to which the officer replied Blake Murphy."

"Blake Murphy? You sure?" Ed asked. She nodded yes. "The name sounds familiar, hang on a second ..." as he rifled through some of the reports he and Winds had been reviewing. "I knew I'd seen it. You're not gonna like it" he said looking at the JTF2 guys. "Blake was in charge of the unit that left Sam twenty kilometers out."

Before the JTF2 guys could rant Wordy asked "Wonder if it is just coincidence or if the Major and he are connected somehow? Probably something we should investigate." The others agreed.

Spike spoke next "After cross referencing the dates the HL/HB photos were received we have found corresponding unit reports and assignments. We've got some potentially great evidence. It appears the General's signature has been forged on the documents assigning Sam to the units."

"Additionally we found he classified the time Sam was not in the field due to injuries as 'down time' to avoid detection of his constant field deployment. There also appears to be two different versions of each order. There is a program that secretly saves a copy of each on a hidden server." Astonished looks of 'how did you find that' passed across many faces.

"Don't ask" he said with a geeky smirk plastered on his face. "Anyway, the two versions; one version I assume Sam was given. It showed that the General ordered Sam's temporary transfer. The other version I assume was passed up the chain of command, possibly for the General's eyes. Those show that Sam requested the transfer" he finished.

"No I never saw those personally, that is paperwork my aides handle" the General sighed.

"We need a list of the aides that handled that paperwork over the years" Spike said.

"Why?" the General asked troubled.

"To see if there is any link to the Major" Ed supplied. "For a cover up of this length to happen, the Major would have had to have accomplices or the aides changed with such frequency they would not notice."

"Private Tina Jordan and Corporal Cody Merrill are the only aides to handle that type paperwork in the past seven years. But Private Jordan only joined my staff in the past year" the General responded despondently, hoping they were not involved. He really liked Corporal Merrill; strange little man but always efficient and cool headed. He'd been on his staff for over eight years and didn't strike him as someone that would be in cahoots with the Major.

It was getting very late so decided to call it a night. They would resume in the morning. They still had other paths to follow and connections to make but had made more progress in one day than others made in months and years. They also agreed they needed to locate the Major tomorrow as they headed off for bed.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Room on 3rd Floor _****_– _****_11 pm_**

Major Plouffe was contemplating his next move. Sheer luck had given him the information he had tried to demand unsuccessfully from the front desk. He was in the bar and had overheard two kitchen workers talking while they retrieved dirty glasses from behind the bar.

They were complaining about the full body pat downs, metal detector wanding and thorough search of the food carts every time they delivered enough food to feed an army to a General on the fifteenth floor. They thought it was excessive. One was frightened by the intimidating looks, sheer size and muscle on some of the guards.

Plouffe was wondering if Sam was here too. It would make sense, because he was nowhere else. He'd checked his apartment today and none of his neighbors had seen him in a few days. They assumed it was because he was still in the hospital given the news reports.

Some people were just so easy to manipulate, was something he was good at too. Getting them to believe he was a concerned buddy was so simple, just the right word or look is all it took to get them to divulge information. He had checked the homes of all Sam's teammates too, not at any of them.

So he had to be here and well protected by the sounds of it. Can't get to him here then, but where? He had gotten a call earlier from his contact in the General's office warning him the General was probably on to him now based on the information and access he was seeking for a group of SRU officers. It would need to be soon if the General was on to him. He was running out of time to plan.

As he lay in bed he wondered if Sam would attend Aaron's funeral in two days. If he was not in the hospital his injuries couldn't be that bad. Knowing Sam's behaviors if he was physically able to stand he would be at the Constable's funeral. A sense of duty was too ingrained in his toy soldier. He laughed, that had worked to his advantage for so long. Maybe, just maybe there would work he thought as he fell asleep.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Sam's Room _****_– _****_Next Morning 10 am _**

Patch had Heather stop the sedative during the night shift and he now watched diligently for the slightest sign of Blondie waking. A dose of sedative prepared and off to the side in case Blondie woke and his mind was not ready to handle the onslaught of emotions. Patch had promised to inform everyone when he saw the signs of waking because they all wanted to be there when he opened his eyes, a show of support.

They were all still working on pulling the evidence against Major Plouffe and the proof was mounting. Damn those guys were good. Their minds saw and drew connections so well. Spike was amazing on that laptop, scary how quickly he dug up the data and paper trails. He saw the signs of waking and quickly called out to the others. Everyone dropped what they were doing and formed a loose standing semi-circle at the foot of the bed all attentively watching as Sam began to regain consciousness.

Awareness was seeping in around the edges of Sam's mind. Little by little the fuzzy aimless adrift feeling was dissipating. First he recognized he was pleasantly warm and laying on a comfortable plush bed with soft pillows. He felt serene and safe, his body relaxed, mind numb, no pain. He liked this place and didn't want to leave.

Sounds filtered in next. Voices, several hushed voices, he knew them, too low to distinguish words. His muted world was nice, soothing, wished he could stay.

Eyes fluttered open.

Unfocused blurry images started to take form.

Eyes drifted closed, not ready to leave the warmth, peace and security of his haven.

Multiple blinks open.

Ten clear faces, faces he knew.

Warmth and serenity beckoned again, eyes gently closed.

Gradually open again.

Anxiety, fear, pain, care, grief, guilt shown on those faces?

Brutal reality bombarded with a vengeance.

Retreat, need sanctuary, eyes slammed shut.

His name called softly.

Ignored.

Pain too real like fire beneath the skin, wounds so deep, forever etched into the soul threatened to destroy.

Terrified, it's too much, so tired of being alone, so alone, can't do it alone, need help.

Seek the one who can help, the only one who knows how to help.

Eyes open a fraction.

Scan, find the one, the comforting one, find dad.

Found him.

Frightened, pleading blue eyes open wide locked onto genuine, caring blue eyes.

In a voice of a scared child seeking fatherly comfort after a nightmare "Wordy, help me."


	24. Catching Sam & Beauty

**Catching Sam &amp; Beauty**

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Sam's Room - A Llittle After 10 am_****  
**

Greg softly whispered to the others "Out, out now" as he started to shoo them out and to leave the room himself. Everyone except the General moved quickly to comply. Greg tugged the man's upper arm and firmly pulled him from the room. Patch closed the door swiftly behind them affording a much needed refuge for Blondie.

"I'm here. You're safe" Wordy crooned gently in the voice he used with his little girls when they were scared as he slowly moved to the side of the bed and sat down. Sam's wildly frightened eyes never losing contact.

Wordy leaned over and carefully gathered Sam close to his chest, nestling his head in the crook of his left shoulder with Sam's ear directly over his heart and hugged him tightly. Neither moved, neither spoke, Wordy just held on allowing Sam to draw in the compassion and strength flowing from his steady heartbeat. Letting him know he was not alone, that he would not allow him to fall, that he would hold on for as long as Sam needed.

After a long while he felt Sam's body start to gently shake and he felt wetness on his chest indicating Sam was silently crying. He held tight, rocking gently and whispering comforting words.

Time and the external world held no meaning to Sam. He was terrified to be alone. Emotions too painful were threatening to extinguish the last tiny flicker of his light. He had finally reached the end of his rope and was slowly losing his grip about to fall. He needed someone to clip him to a safety line or he was going to plummet in the black abyss.

He'd come so close to falling into the void after Matt's death. So many nights alone, always alone, sitting on the floor with pearl gripped cold metal pressed against his heart wishing he could end his suffering and be 185. But he had held tightly with all his strength listening to a voice that told him to choose the beauty of life. It hurt to live; it hurt too damned much sometimes but each time he'd listened to Matt.

But he couldn't hear Matt now, he had no more strength, it was too much. The rope finally slipped from his grasp and he started to fall just as strong arms encircled him. Holding tight, secure, keeping him from falling into oblivion. He heard a solid, steady heartbeat that provided solace and strength. He was sheltered, cared for, he wasn't alone. Years of tears streamed down as he was gently rocked.

Wordy held Sam securely as he released years of pain. He had no idea how much time passed. Sam eventually stilled. Wordy tilted his head to look at Sam face; so very young; so vulnerable. Eyes closed, body slack, breathing even. Sleep had claimed him. Wordy continued to hold him. He would hold him until he woke not wanting him to be alone. Sam could not be alone; he would fall if he was alone.

Sam slept for nearly an hour held securely in Wordy's arms. Wordy recognized when Sam awoke and softly said "You're safe."

Sam sighed, he felt stronger; he didn't have to do it alone anymore. He slowly lifted his head to meet Wordy's eyes and saw compassion and acceptance. He whispered "Thank you for catching me."

Wordy smiled gently "Always." He hugged him tightly again then gradually laid him back down onto the bed. "What do you need?"

"Time."

"I'll be here" Wordy replied. He rose and pulled a chair close to the bed and then calmly sat down again. He placed his hand on the bed in case Sam needed a lifeline. He did. Sam lightly grasped it as he closed his eyes again. Not sleeping but starting the agonizing process of sorting his emotions.

Sometime later Wordy was pulled from his thoughts and opened his eyes when Sam asked "Why?" They talked quietly for hours of all the suffering and loss, the whys and wherefores. Mostly letting Sam give voice to deep-seeded feelings of hurt he had held so closely never sharing with anyone.

Knowing that it would be painful but necessary for healing Wordy shared what they had learned about the General. How it was not his fault. He had held Sam tightly again as he wept for the lost years, raw pain and undeserved hate he had held for his father.

In the end they were both exhausted. Sam asked to have some time alone and for him to ask Patch if he had 'beauty' with him. Wordy agreed wondering what beauty was. Sam winced as he shifted on the bed. As Wordy rose to leave he told Sam he would send Patch in, he needed to be checked out and needed pain meds.

Just before Wordy reach the door Sam said "Thank you."

Wordy replied "Always."

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Main Suite while Wordy is in Sam's Room_**

Everyone on Team One worked quietly, thoughts distracted and eyes often straying to the door of Sam's room. No one really knew what to expect when Sam awoke. But the fear in his eyes and pleading Wordy for help had shaken them to the core.

What they had recently learned about Sam's past was horrific, but he was definitely a survivor. It was only three days ago he was smiling brightly full of life as they worked out before that fateful shift. He would make it back again, they had to stay positive. Wordy would know how to help. He always knew how to comfort them when they hurt. Sam was safe with Wordy. Sam would smile again.

Blaze, Winds and Patch sat quietly together. They had seen Blondie on the edge before. They recognized that he was about to fall off completely. They hoped that Wordy would be able to hook him before they lost him forever. It had surprised Blaze that he had called out for Wordy. It had always been him and Matt to save him before.

It should have broken his heart that Blondie hadn't called him but it actually did the opposite. It made it soar. It meant that Blondie truly had a place he felt he belonged. A place he felt safe and cared for. Knowing what he did now about the real situation with the General he felt bad for the man. He had seen the look of loss on his face when his son didn't call his name. Perhaps they can salvage and rebuild, but that would be up to them.

The General never wanted to see stark panic like that ever again in his son's eyes. His heart was heavy he had to find a way to help Sam to let him know he was loved, had always been loved. He would have a talk with Mr. Wordsworth. Perhaps he would have some advice to help.

Sam had reached out to the man when he was in need, desperate need. That said something in his book. Yes he would definitely need to talk to Wordy, he wanted his son back. Holleran had been right, there was hope. He would cling to that for now. Hope was good.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Main Suite - About 4 pm (1600)_**

All heads turned as the door to Sam's room opened. Wordy slipped out and softly closed the door. He went directly to Patch and said "Sam needs pain meds and he wanted to know if you have 'beauty' with you."

A 1000 watt smile lit up Patch's face "Gotta run and get it, be right back" and sprinted from the room. Team One looked to Wordy questioningly. He shrugged. They didn't have to wait long until Patch was back.

Jules stopped him just before he opened Sam's door "What is 'beauty'?"

Patch held up a very battered and worn small MP3 player with straggly earbuds hanging from it. The quizzical looks made Patch smile again before he said "Matt put together a play list of music that helps Blondie focus on and remember the beauty of life. It always helps. Out of habit I always carry it with me fully charged. I'm ecstatic he asked for it. Give him and hour or two and he will be ready to join us."

Disbelieving looks were shot at him.

Blaze was grinning ear to ear "He's not lying. Always helps. Always a good sign when Blondie asks for it. You watch. Two hours tops." Looking at his watch "It is about 1600 now, he'll be in here by 1800. Who's willing to bet me?" The guys started placing bets on when Sam would appear. Jules, the General and Greg refused to participate.

Patch slipped into Sam's room. He found him with his eyes closed, speaking very softly "Hey Blondie, look what I have."

Sam opened his eyes and looked towards Patch "Beauty, you still carry beauty. I'd hoped but…"

"Yeah a habit I'm glad I never gave up, fully charged too" he said handing beauty to him. "Need to check your vitals and give ya some meds. Then you can have the time you need. I'll make sure no one comes in."

Sam nodded as he put the ear buds in and turned it on. Patch worked quickly and was done in less than five minutes. "Say hi to Matt for me. See ya in a bit buddy." Patch closed the door.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Main Suite - 5:50 pm (1750)_**

The door to Sam's room opened. All heads turned and stared. Sam stood in the entry way on slightly shaky legs holding the door jab with one hand for support while the other clung to the rolling IV pole. With a casual smile displayed on his tired face he said nonchalantly "Hey, got anything to eat out here? I'm starving."


	25. Resilient, Honorable Men

**Resilient, Honorable Men, and Wake the General?**

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Main Suite - 5:50 pm (1750)_****  
**

A stunned Team One and the General sat open mouthed at the visage of Sam standing in the doorway asking for something to eat. The JTF2 guys just smiled with 'told ya so' looks and thinking to themselves 'yep just under two; the kid will survive'. They knew he was not out of the woods completely but enough to operate. He would need time to process it completely. Damned resilient.

Winds was closest and trotted over to offer support as he walked Sam to the nearest chair and helped him sit. "Nice to see ya buddy, been a rough one huh. How ya doing?"

Sam replied "I'm fine now but I'll be okay soon." He still needed time to deal with it all. But for the moment it was sufficiently sorted and he needed to be surrounded by his family by warmth. He looked at each one. Blaze, Winds, Patch they were his brothers-in-arms, they had battled with him, fought for him for so long, always keeping him strong, helping him to survive. Team One was family; dad, uncle, brothers, sister – wait not sister – something _more_; they are connection, a place he could begin to live not just survive. The General, still too mixed, the old doesn't apply … flicker of what could … not ready yet … too raw ….

"What'd do you mean by that?" Ed asked truly confused by his statement, fine and okay were the same.

Sam didn't want to answer that question, so searched for a way to deflect. "So what's a guy gotta do for food?" he said using his lop-sided grin mask.

If anyone had been watching his eyes they would have seen the smile did not register there. Ed realized he did not want to answer. Sam's desire not to answer meant there was a clear distinction between them in his mind. Ed needed to find out but it could wait so he let it drop for now.

The General turned and picked up the phone and ordered dinner for all.

Jules grabbed an apple and bottle of water from the table and walked to Sam. "This will have to do until the feast arrives" she said with a smile handing them to Sam then giving him a gentle hug being careful not to hurt his ribs. "Glad to see ya, just don't scare me like that again."

Sam received hugs or light shoulder pats from all of Team One and his three JTF2 buddies with a variation of glad to see you and a normal quip or comment. The end result created a caring environment and restored a small sense of balance for Sam.

The last to approach him was the General. Tension crept in as Sam unconsciously shifted to an erect soldier-like seated position, back straight, shoulders squared, head up, feet flat on the floor, hands palm down on his thighs. They all saw the shift.

The General knelt down on one knee in front of Sam so their heads were level. Sam was surprised. The General had always towered over him in the past, always in a power position.

Connecting with his son's eyes he let the love, sorrow and hope show in his eyes as he softly spoke "Time Samuel, we need time. We are human and we make mistakes but we have time. We can fix this. It won't be easy and it won't be quick. But we can fix this. We have time. I have hope. I love you son."

Then he utterly and completely shocked Sam as he wrapped his arms around him and gently hugged him for the first time Sam could remember in his life. Sam thought, time, definitely need time as he received but did not reciprocate the hug, body still tense, hands still on his thighs and said nothing in return.

The General released him after a brief hug, stood and went to talk with Wordy. Sam's posture relaxed as the General walked away. Sam sat quietly catching bits and pieces of the conversations around him but not paying much attention as he munched on the apple.

General Braddock spoke barely above a whisper "Thank you for the words. I will keep in mind what you told me. I will be patient. Not patient by nature but I will try. I do love my son. I will work at this."

Wordy nodded with a smile and thought, time they will need time. You cannot undo almost twenty plus years of history in a day or two. I have hope they will fix this.

Jules wasn't kidding Sam thought as he surveyed all the food, feast was an accurate description. Dinner conversation was light and touched on fun and mundane topics. A playful argument broke out between Winds and Ed over which hockey team was the best.

Near the end of dinner as people were starting to scatter Spike piped up looking at Blaze "So who won the bet?" Everyone cringed, Spike could be inept sometimes.

Sam noticed the unease and asked "What bet?"

Spike realized his error and quickly made something up "How much food would be left over? The General here thinks he's feeding an entire army, so much left overs you'd think this was an Italian's home."

It was totally lame and everyone including Sam knew it. But Sam let it drop. He probably didn't want to know what the bet was actually about especially with the daggers glare Jules had given Spike.

Sam was feeling and looking wrung out. He had eaten but not much. He looked over to Patch and said "Any way you would approve me taking a shower? I could really use one before hitting the sack." Sam knew that Patch would most likely say no with the stitches he was sporting in his face and arm. But one would help him not only cleanse his body but also wash away many negative thoughts; let them flow out and down the drain.

Patch gave him an assessing look registering the unspoken need, knowing he should probably say no because of the stitches but replied "Yeah, as long as it's short. I'll redress your wounds when you're done. Let's go buddy."

He helped Blondie rise and head towards the room. The desire for a shower was a good sign. It meant Blondie was coming closer to normalcy. "Greg and Jules went by your place, brought your personal kit and clean clothes too."

As the two moved into Sam's room the conversation in the main suite return to activities around the investigation. Progress had been slow today. Everyone had been distracted. Seeing that Sam would be okay reenergized them and they started back into their tasks with zeal.

Ed went to check with Hal and the rest of his guys. After the first security plan has been shot to hell, they had decided the four unit guys would split into two team and rotate on twelve hour shifts in the hall. With the rest of them in them in the same room as Sam it was sufficient.

The hot shower had helped in many ways but one very nice result was the tension it released from his muscles. He was so stiff and sore every movement ached. As he was standing in front of the sink brushing his teeth he started to assess his physical state.

He was a mess. With the stitches, small cuts, bruises, abrasions and paleness of his face he thought he looked like a Zombie. His right arm burned with movement and the stitches itched. He was disappointed his left wrist was swollen and sore; must be sprained. Holding a gun will be difficult for a while.

It still hurt to take deep breaths, several ribs must be cracked and his left shoulder still hurt. The bruising of his all over his body was still livid but he noted the color change was older than a day. Crap how long have I been out? What is today?

He finished up and dressed in only his pants then returned to the bedroom so Patch could attend to his wounds and re-wrap his wrist. Patch had given him one last dose of intravenous antibiotic and pain meds then removed the IV. He was glad; he hated being tethered. Lastly he had helped Sam put his t-shirt on because it was so difficult to lift his arms fully.

"Better?" Patch asked.

"Much" simply said. Sam knew he did not have to effuse words of thanks. The unit had dispensed with that need years ago. Each knew exactly how the much the others appreciated what they did for each other, no words were needed.

Sufficiently put together and feeling a bit refreshed Sam reentered the suite. Patch stayed close at hand should he falter in his step, which was still shaky but getting stronger. "Boss?" he questioned in a near normal tone.

"Yeah Sam?" Greg asked looking up from the file he was reviewing. He liked what he heard and saw. He was getting closer to the Sam they all knew and loved.

"What is today and how long have I been out of it?" he asked.

"Well today is Thursday. So since Monday night, three days total including today" Greg replied.

"Okay." Wow three whole days. Another thought entered his mind "Boss, did I miss Aaron's funeral?" That got the entire room to stop and listen.

"No it is tomorrow afternoon. But I don't think it is a good idea for you to go given the threat against you. The Major is likely to be there" Greg stated firmly.

"I have to go" Sam stated firmly back.

Greg was against him going but needed to listen to understand Sam's thinking. He remembered all too well the price they all had paid for not listening so he simply asked "Why?"

"Because he was under my command when he died. It would be a dishonor if I did not go. He was a good man." Sam noticed the looks of disgust on many of their faces. He narrowed in on Jules "What is that look for?"

Uncomfortable at being the one called to account for their reaction she firmly stated "Because of Aaron's attitude and behaviors toward you that day and for the things he said about you to Brett and Frank before we set out." She then recounted what they had overheard.

Sam thought only a moment before answering "He was a good man having a bad afternoon. We all make mistakes. One mistake does not discount that he put his life on the line to protect innocent people every day."

"I should not say this because I have not yet met with SIU but in the end Aaron had my back. He did the right thing no matter what he may have thought of me. He came upon me and Basto just as Basto was about to shoot. Basto had his gun leveled at my head, my weapon was not fully raised yet and blood dripped into my eyes."

"Aaron appeared at the top of the ravine and had his weapon pointed at Basto. His yell distracted Basto before he could fire at me. It gave me the time needed to raise my weapon. But the other subject appeared out of nowhere right beside Aaron."

Sam took a steadying breath "As I wiped the blood out of my eyes the subject shot Aaron. I was to slow to save Aaron. I shot the subject. Then Basto and I fired at each other at the same time. I hit Basto and he missed me."

Sam sat quiet for several moments clearly shaken reliving the event. "So whatever he may have said, whatever crap he gave me. Whatever his bastard of an Uncle may or may not have done. Aaron deserves to be honored for the man he was. A good man. An honorable man. I need to pay my respects to him. Without him I would be dead. He saved me, I failed him" he finished resolutely.

Everyone was silent. They had all wondered about the four shots and what had actually happened in the ravine. Each had speculated various scenarios but none had placed Aaron in the role of saving Sam. Lou felt deeply ashamed for one far-fetched scenario he had concocted in his head where Aaron had fired at Sam, since there were four shots and three dead.

Greg sighed, he understood Sam's need but also understood the threat. He was about to say something when Sam looked directly at Ed and softly said "I will go with or without your help. Do not doubt that. Will you help me do it without taking unacceptable risks?"

Ed thought damn he's good; points, shoots, hits a bulls-eye with his words.

Before he could reply the General walked up behind Sam and placed a hand on his shoulder. Unintentionally Sam stiffened to attention. The General inwardly sighed 'would that ever stop, probably not, too ingrained, learn to deal with it' but aloud he said "I understand Samuel's sense of duty and need to honor a fallen officer. I will help him. Who will support me?"

Sam was shocked for the third time by this man's action tonight. He never expected him to be the first to support him or really any support to come from the General. Team One was next to agree to support. Partly because they felt with so many officers present the Major would be unlikely to act.

The JTF2 guys begrudgingly agreed to support because of their first-hand knowledge and history of what the bastard Major had done to Blondie. They did not want to give him even the slightest opportunity to harm Blondie. But if the others were bound and determined to let Blondie do it then they would help.

Blaze mused silently that Blondie's threat about going with or without help was not an idle one. He was too damned skilled. If he wanted out of this room he would get out and most likely undetected by anyone even in his injured state. It was safer for him if they agreed to help.

Worn out now Sam turned to head off to bed but stopped and turned to Greg "Boss, one more thing please. I want to get the five SIU interviews over with. Seeing that the funeral is in the afternoon, can you schedule them for the morning?"

"I'll make the arrangements. Get some rest buddy" Greg replied.

He nodded just before Sam was about to close the door Wordy called out to him "Sam, if you need anything I'll be here all night."

Sam smiled and closed the door. He grabbed beauty, put in the ear buds, turned it on and crept into bed. He was so drained he knew sleep would eventually come but right now his mind was still a jumble of thoughts. Needed to get sorted enough to pull out everything tomorrow morning and deal with Aaron's funeral in the afternoon. Then he'd be able to lock those memories in his safe place and get some peace.

Blaze asked Ed "What's an SIU interview?"

Ed explained what an SIU interview entailed. He felt a slight twinge of guilt remembering that he hadn't even explained it to Sam before he had to participate in one. Christ that first one had been done by Donner. He shuddered slightly. Who knew the man was so unbalanced.

When Ed was done Blaze shook his head "Wow, you mean you have to go through that for every one. That's intense. I mean I get it the reason an all but that's gotta hurt sometimes. I think I'd never be SRU material, don't think I could handle doing that every time. Blondie has to do five of those tomorrow. I hope he's up to it. Hey Patch, do ya have the charger for beauty? Blondie might need it tomorrow morning."

Ed looked at him questioningly and Blaze responded with a smile "Just being prepared."

The General cleared his throat to get everyone's attention "So how are we going to protect Sam tomorrow. What's the plan?"

The group discussed the options for over an hour. They decided that they needed to make the other teams aware of the threat. They needed to enlist their help because they had no idea from what direction the threat might come. However, due to the top secret nature they had to be vague with details.

They decided that they would show a picture of the Major to them so they knew who to watch for but give a vague reason as to why. The reason they settled on was that in his grief the Major may blame Sam for Aaron's death. Not exactly a lie but definitely not the whole sickening truth.

Greg placed a call to the Sergeants of Teams Three, Four and Five asking if they could join the planning session tonight or send a rep. Team Two would not be attending the funeral they were on shift. About twenty minutes later, Rollie and his TL Paul from Team Three and Dale from Team Five arrived.

Dale explained that Sergeant Winter and their TL Carl were unable to make it tonight so he offered to come and would brief them in the morning. Frank from Team Four arrived shortly after. His Sergeant and TL were busy with arrangements for Aaron's parents for tomorrow so he was their rep.

They set to work and developed a plan. It wasn't anywhere near perfect, maybe just adequate because there were too many possibilities. It was just too open and exposed.

As they were wrapping up Blaze, Winds, and Patch walked up to Dale. Blaze as their spokesman said "Dale right?" Dale nodded yes. "My name is Blaze, this here is Winds and Patch" he said pointing at his buddies. "We owe you a debt and would like to say thank you."

Dale was confused "A debt and thank you for what?"

"Do you remember the first time you met Blondie? I mean Sam?" Blaze queried.

"You mean in the mess tent?" Dale responded.

"Yeah, actually outside it, but yeah in the mess tent. We owe you for that" Blaze stated.

"For what talking to him?" Dale said still not seeing why someone would say there was a debt for that. It was only common courtesy.

Winds interceded "What Blaze is muddling up big time is that we want to thank you for saving Blondie that day. Your kindness was what kept him from falling over the edge that day before we could get to him. It was really bad that time. So thank you."

Recognition flared in Dales eyes "That was you guys that came into the tent? Man that was intense. I don't see the guy that talked to him first. Is he here? After the day Sam had on Monday, he could sure use a friend like that. I saw the connection between them, strong, forever."

"Sam looked like he was half dead struggling to stand up outside the tent. Hell he looked half dead most the time he was there. He was always there. Everyone else came and went but he always stayed. Wondered about that. Is that some weird JTF2 thing? Don't you guys get the same down time?" As he continued to speak he noticed the demeanor of the men changing and he sensed anger and pure hatred so he halted.

"Yeah, well we can't say much but no it's not. Our anger is not directed at you. It's just a response where Blondie is concerned. He's our little brother, we protect him. Thank you for taking care of him. I think he ended up at SRU because of what you told him that day." Patch responded. No one had the heart to tell him that Matt was dead but he saw right that connection was forever even if Matt was gone physically.

Not knowing exactly what to say to all of that Dale offered "Well, you're welcome I guess. Glad I could help. Gotta go. See you tomorrow." Dale waved bye to Team One and headed out. That was almost as weird as the first time he thought. I should've asked them what the numbers meant he thought as he exited the door. Nah whatever it was belongs over there not here.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Room on 3rd Floor - 1 am_**

Phone up to his ear "We are counting on you. It's important that you speak to him alone. _[listens]_ We need to know the truth of how he died no one with tell us. I'm sure he will agree he is an honorable man he wouldn't deny your simple request. _[listens]_ Yes, he must be hurting too; they say he was in charge of Aaron at the time. _[listens]_ I agree completely, we all need to know and you are our best hope of finding out the real truth. _[listens]_ So you are sure you can do this sweetie? _[listens]_ Good. I'll see you tomorrow."

The Major put down the phone and smirked. People are just so easy to manipulate. All it takes are the right words, even if they are pure lies, honorable man my ass. He laughed out loud. His phone rang and he answered it.

"Major Plouffe. _[listens]_ I've made the arrangements. _[listens]_ No she has no clue. _[listens]_ This time you better not fail. _[listens]_ He wasn't supposed to make it out alive you were supposed to see to that. _[listens]_ I don't care if his unit went rogue, off mission to get him back. _[listens]_ You failed and I had a hell of a time covering up that shit. You should've just put a bullet in him and left him in the desert. _[listens]_ I don't care she's expendable. You do what is necessary. I want him dead tomorrow if he shows."

Plouffe hung up somewhat angry and agitated. He silently rolled thoughts around in his warped brain. Damn that idiot never was able to follow through, I better make a backup plan too. My toy soldier will die tomorrow if he is stupid enough to show up at the funeral. He'll never see it coming. Now let's plan the General's demise. Gotta give him a few months of pain after his soft spot is gone before I get rid of him once and for all. Oh what a happy day that will be.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Main Suite - 2 am_**

Spike could not stop; he had to find the link. He had several convoluted searches running in the background. They had amassed a great deal of evidence against the Major. He was definitely at fault for the non-stop deployments. He covered up the behavior of the unit that left Sam in the field. There was definitely a link between Murphy and Plouffe. They'd even mapped Sam's injuries and found that a high percentage of them were when Sam was assigned to Blake's unit, even before he was in charge of it.

But what started this whole mess? That is the question that bothered Spike the most. He was searching for the answer.

Ping. One search done. Spike looked it over and exclaimed "HOLY SHIT! The General's gonna rage when I tell him this."

"Tell him what?" Wordy asked.

Spike jumped nearly falling out of his seat "Don't do that. You scared the crap outta me. Didn't know anyone was still awake."

Amused Wordy said "So, what's up?"

Spike was looking nervously between Wordy and his monitor "Well I was running a deep search and found something that's bad real bad. I think I should wake the General."


	26. Coffee with an Alien & SIU Interview

**Yawns, Coffee with an Alien &amp; Strange SIU Interview  
**

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Main Suite - 2 am_**

Always pragmatic Wordy said "If it something urgent that he needs to deal with at this moment I would wake him. But if it's just more bad news, like this whole affair, then I suggest you let him sleep and we can deal with it later. I also suggest that you get some sleep too. We need to be sharp at the funeral later."

Spike considered what Wordy said and although it was bad, really bad there was nothing the General could really do about it because it was in the past. Waiting a to tell him would not have an impact so he said "Okay. It can wait. Would rather only have to say it once anyways and Sam needs to hear it too. I don't want to wake him. He really needs the rest; he looked like a Zombie tonight. I guess I need some rest too. What about you?"

Wordy laughed at the description of Sam. "Yeah, thought he resembled the walking dead myself. Just so glad to see him up and somewhat functional after all this. I doubt I could do that. I was almost asleep when you called out, so yeah I'm gonna get some sleep too" Wordy replied and laid back down on the couch as he yawned deeply. "Night."

"Night. Just need to save this then joining you" Spike said catching the yawn.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Room on 3rd Floor - 5 am_**

Awoken by a sound he realized his phone was ringing. He looked at the number and did not recognize it but answered anyway wondering who the hell is calling him at this hour.

"Hello" said in a groggy voice as a yawn escaped. _[caller speaks]_

"Ah so you arrived. Good, good. The funeral starts at three pm. I expect you to be in place well before that". _[__caller speaks__] _

"Great. I'm glad you were able to acquire those. Hard to get but I expect they will be needed and they will do the job regardless of how protected he may be." _[__caller speaks__ a long time] _

He laugh. "I don't really care your choice, but a head shot would ensure the toy soldier is gone for good. I've transferred half already." _[__caller speaks__] _

"No it's not traceable I followed your instructions to the letter so no one can find it." _[__caller speaks__] "_As agreed, yes if you are needed the other half will be transferred automatically." _[__caller speaks__] _

Yawning deeply, he replied "Yes I understand the consequences if I fail to pay and understand no further contact will occur between us after this. We will be done."

He closed the phone and laughed again at the various kill zone shots he had described in great detail. That guy loves his side work too much. Strange little man, always so efficient so unassuming no one would ever guess what he did in his spare time.

Although his job did allow him to travel the world, great cover for his activities. Hell he had only found out by accident when he overheard a snippet of conversation one day in Kandahar and put the pieces together. He had used that information to blackmail him for years into covering things up. He smiled and yawned once again as he drifted back to sleep.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Main Suite - Early Morning_**

Sam opened the door to find main suite essentially empty. Wordy and Spike were asleep on the couches and the General and Heather were seated at the table with steaming cups of coffee reading a newspaper. He gingerly walked toward the table his muscles tight and aching, coffee smelled good. He had slept, fitfully, but luckily no full blown nightmares.

Heather saw him first and with a happy smile she said "He walks." Noticing how slow and painfully she added "Barely. Can I get you anything? Coffee?" Sam nodded yes as he sat down at the table stiffly; thinking damn everything hurts. Heather rose to get the coffee "Cream, sugar?" she asked.

"No just black please" Sam answered tautly.

Heather returned with the coffee and set it in front of him "What's the pain level? Need any meds?"

Sam hesitated. It hurt so much still. Basto's fists should be considered lethal weapons, but he never admitted pain in front of the General, never. Sighing, he wondered if he could change. He struggled with himself then finally forced himself to answer honestly "About a six, maybe seven, meds would take the edge off."

His mind on the fact he had just admitted pain in front of the General he absently picked up the coffee with is left hand. He had just lifted it a few inches when his left wrist screamed at him and he dropped the cup. The contents spilled into his lap.

Sam's reaction was swift but not fast enough as hot liquid hit his thighs. "Shit, fuck, god dammit, fuck, holy hell, dammit, crap, fuck" came spewing loudly from his mouth as the pain from moving so fast and the hot liquid registered. He ended up on his butt on the floor.

Wordy and Spike were jarred out of their sleep at Sam's yells and were trying to discern what was happening. Heather rushed to get a towel from the bathroom. The General couldn't help himself, he had seen the whole thing and the look on Samuel's face was too comical as he was cussing.

General Braddock sat there relaxed and lightly laughing "Good command of curse words Samuel."

Sam couldn't believe the reaction of the General and he sat stunned just staring up at the man. That is not the reaction of the man he knew. Maybe Spike's aliens had actually abducted him and put replica in his place. Where the hell was the instant and hard rebuke for using foul language?

Spike had started to rise to help Sam when Wordy placed a restraining arm on him and shook his head no. Spike glared at him with a 'what the hell Sam needs me' look trying to shake him off and rise. Wordy held tight and put his index finger to his mouth and whispered "shhh" with a look that said 'wait'. Spike looked back at Sam on the floor, saw the look of confusion on his face as he stared at the General so he sat back down and waited.

The General slowly folded the newspaper and put it down on the table. A smile on his face he rose and walked to where Samuel was still seated on the floor. He squatted down and then lightly said "Want some help up son?"

Sam still stared unbelieving. The General realized that with the injuries to the right arm and left wrist help would have to be lifting from behind under the arms. So he rose and shifted position and helped Sam stand slowly taking most of the weight.

He pulled out another chair and helped him sit. He took the towel from Heather who had returned and was now frozen in place watching the strangely awkward interaction. He placed the towel in Sam's lap then took the coffee cup, refilled it and placed it in front of Samuel. As he sat down again he said "Good morning" as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

Sam's eyes never left the General and clearly said 'who the hell are you?' but cautiously he said out loud "Good morning Sir."

"I've ordered breakfast to be delivered at 0700 when the others will join us. But if you need anything now I can call down" the General said conversationally.

Spike looked at Wordy who had a small smile on his face. Wordy looked at Spike and whispered "Time" and he laid back down to grab a little more rest. Spike followed suit not wanting to interrupt whatever healing was taking place between father and son. As he lay there he wished that he and his own father had unlimited time to resolve their issues.

Heather had gone to the bedroom and returned with pain meds. "Hope you don't mind needles. No oral meds yet. Patch ordered them but won't be here til later. So…" she lifted the needle with a smile.

Sam cringed and blanched all color leaving his face as every muscle tensed at the sight. He did actually very much mind needles.

The General saw the look and remembered what the doctors had told him about Samuel's condition after he was a POW. He could only guess what had happened but after that needles scared the hell out of him. He saw Samuel watching Heather intently as she swabbed his left bicep with an alcohol wipe and his muscles constricted so hard.

He needed distraction to relax. Using a voice meant to get attention but not harsh he tried to time his words right to distract him just before the shot "Samuel, you need something to wear for the funeral." Success. Samuel was caught off guard by the statement and as he turned his attention to the General his muscles relaxed a bit.

Heather was a very perceptive person. She realized the fear and distraction provided so quickly injected him. She decided to make herself scarce afterwards. Heather grabbed her coffee and went to sit in a chair on the far side of the suite near Wordy and Spike.

"Sir?" he finally questioned after a solid minute. It took him that long trying to process where that left field statement came from.

The General continued like it was a totally normal topic "Did you plan on a suit or your SRU uniform? Whichever it is we need to have someone get it for you." He took a sip of coffee and waited for an answer.

"Sir, I'm not sure. Depends I guess on the security plan" he answered as he lifted his coffee consciously with his right hand this time and taking a sip. "I'll have to check with the Boss and Ed before a decision is made."

Sam was reeling inside. They didn't do conversation. They did orders and arguments. Who was this man really? He now knew things he thought about him were mixed up in a child's mind and he wasn't responsible for all the deployments. But who was he really? Would he like that man? Would that man like him? Could they really build a relationship?

He decided to let time tell, let it go at its own pace, be open to whatever it might be. The General handed him the sports section of the paper and they sat silently enjoying the coffee and reading the newspaper together for the first time in their lives. To Sam it felt odd but strangely nice too.

The General was refilling their coffee when there was a knock at the door. He dropped the coffee off to Samuel then went to open the door. Checking his watch, "0700 right on time" he said.

The smell of breakfast made Sam's stomach roar loudly. "What would you like?" the General asked sweeping his arm across the spread of food. Sam told him and the General loaded up a plate for him and brought it to the table. "Need anything else?" Sam shook his head and dug into the food, finally able to eat.

Team One and the JTF2 guys began wandering in a short time later. Wordy and Spike grabbed a quick bite then went to their rooms to shower. Everyone was back in the room by eight am when there was a knock at the door.

Greg went to answer it, knowing that the SIU agents would be there this morning but not scheduled until eight-thirty. He opened the door to find Dale Gibbson. "Mr. Gibbson, come in you're a bit early" he said.

Sam grinned slightly, the guy always there for him for the interviews. "Gibbson nice to see you. Thanks for being here before SIU gets here. Plenty of food left if you're hungry." He would have gotten up and walked to the man and shook his hand but he needed to conserve his energy.

Gibbson had been looking at Greg until Sam spoke. He turned to say hi and stopped dead. "What the hell happened to you? You okay? Need anything?" he said as he started to move forward, real concern on his face.

"I'm okay" Sam replied.

JTF2 buddies smiled broadly relief flowing thorough every neuron of their bodies 'he said okay not fine'. Ed heard the word okay and noticed their reactions and decided to ask Blaze about it soon. His curiosity peaked now, there was definitely a meaning there.

Spike wanted to tell about what he had found but knew that Sam had to get through the SIU interviews so decided to wait until he was done. That way everyone could concentrate on the next steps. Until then he would check to see if any of his other searches had resulted in anything useful.

Most chatted about ordinary things wanting to keep the environment light until eight-thirty when it would get very heavy for Sam. They wished they could be there to provide support but interviews were always conducted in private. They sincerely hoped Sam would be able to handle it alone. Although it looked like he had at least on man in his corner, Gibbson. Sam seemed happy to see the lawyer.

At eight-fifteen am Commander Holleran and Scott Caldwell the Head of SIU stood just outside the main suite. "Norm this unorthodox but I understand the need. We have a duty to the citizen's but I agree with agent Stevens that we also have a duty to the men and women that put their lives on the line to protect others. After the incident with agent Donner, Constable Braddock's situation merits this special dispensation. But be assured, I will halt the procedure and return to normal protocol if I feel that we are skirting any legal or ethical issues." Holleran nodded as he knocked on the door.

Holleran and Caldwell entered and after cordial greetings and introductions Holleran assumed a very official demeanor. The group tensed as he began to speak not sure what was coming. "Sergeant Parker, I must inform you and your team that given the nature of and full extent of Monday's calls, today's SIU interview will be conducted under special dispensation protocols."

He looked at each member of Team One then back to Greg "As such your entire team is required to present in same room and will be expected to provide input as relevant. One agent will be conducting the interview session which will cover all of Monday's calls. The agents previously assigned to the calls have handed over their materials to agent Stevens."

Noting that Braddock's lawyer was already there Holleran said "Mr. Gibbson please note that the proceeding will not be taped or photographed in any manner and any future questions SIU may have will be directed to you. It will be under your sole discretion to which team member to direct them. The Head of SIU and I will be sitting in but will not interfere in the proceedings unless there legal or ethical concerns."

Looking at Patch and the General he continued "Additionally, given Constable Braddock's current physical state his medic and one family member will be allowed to remain during the interview to ensure his well-being. The medic will have the right to declare breaks or halt the proceedings and request the session be rescheduled at any time if he feels Braddock's health is in jeopardy."

Nodding his head towards Blaze and Winds he said "Given the current threats against Braddock's life, two members of his security detail will also be allowed to remain in the room to guaranty his safety. We will begin once agent Stevens arrives. Any questions?"

Greg looked straight at him mirroring the official demeanor and replied "Understood perfectly Commander. No questions."

Everyone had sighed relieved. How Holleran had managed this they may never know. But he had just ensured Sam would have the support he needed to get through this nightmare and not have to relive it in the future. Holleran nodded to Greg then got a cup of coffee and took up a chair near the door waiting for agent Stevens.

Just before eight-thirty Heather said her goodbyes to everyone. She had to work tonight so needed to head home to sleep. They thanked her for all her help. She gave Sam a gentle hug and told him to heal quickly and if he needed anything to call her.

Patch made arrangements to meet her next week for coffee. As she left a smile played across his face as he thought, she cute, she's a keeper, she might be the one. He turned to see Blaze, Winds and Blondie staring at him with funny looks; each of them thinking, he's got it bad and she's perfect for him.

Agent Stevens arrived promptly at eight-thirty. She set up at the little desk and then proceeded to do a round of introductions noting who all were present for the interview. Kendall informed them she had been briefed on the change in protocol.

Looking directly at Sam with genuine compassion she said "Constable Braddock, if at any time you need a break for any reason you will let me know and we will halt until you are ready to proceed. Do you understand that?"

Sam nodded yes. "Okay are you ready to begin?"Stevens asked. He nodded yes again.

She started the interview. "The first call we will review is the hostage situation at Bang's Fitness. It has been verified by toxicology that Mr. Clive Parch did indeed have high levels of steroids in his system which impaired his reasoning and made him emotionally erratic. Sergeant Parker, you were lead negotiator. Please explain the situation and conditions that lead to the need for lethal force" she said.

Greg recounted the incident. He identified that it was Constable Lane who called Scorpio and that Constable Braddock follow his command. Stevens directed the use-of-force continuum questions to Greg and Ed. She wrapped up the incident without having Sam provide any input, allowing his team mates to provide the details.

Stevens call for a five minute break while she sorted the paperwork and prepared to discuss the next call. Sam stood to walk a bit needing to stretch his tight muscles as they had become more tense listening to the call details. He was walking slowly to a more comfortable chair when his calf muscle seized on him.

With a cry of pain he dropped to the ground and tried to flex his foot. Instantly there were more hands than he could count helping him flex it and rubbing out the calf muscle. He looked up a bit sheepishly feeling embarrassed and said "Thanks."

They just smiled and said nothing. Ed and Spike helped him stand and make it to the chair. Stevens noted how they all reacted and was truly glad to see how this team supported one another.

Sam was settled back in a chair when she began "Call number two was the Central Bank incident. SIU has already conducted and interview with Constable Callaghan regarding the use of lethal force and concluded it was justified. We have also conducted interviews with the other two subjects. They have verified that their intent was suicide by cop."

"I have a note from Corporal John York and Private Marty Green that they wish to express a heartfelt thank you to Constable Braddock for helping them realize the there is still beauty in life and to wish him a speedy recovery from any injuries received when Private Tom Summers fired on him. Based on these findings, no further discussion is needed."

The team was surprised at the process so far. It was so different than what they experienced before. It looked as if agent Stevens was doing everything in her power to avoid having Sam rehash the details. They were grateful.

Kendall checked her notes then said "The third incident at Bennie's Gas Station involved an attempted armed robbery and hostage situation. In this case two armed subjects took two adults and six children hostage. The children were held by a subject who was armed with a semi-automatic pistol. According to the call transcripts he appeared to be high on drugs. Toxicology reports confirm he was indeed high on meth. The adults were held in a different location of the store by the other subject and he was armed with a single action rifle."

Looking at Ed she requested "Constable Lane as Team Leader, please describe the situation and the actions the team took."

Ed related the call details and entry plans including the aftermath within the store. Then Kendall asked "Constable Wordsworth, you were the one to pursue the subject into the alley. Please explain what happened."

Wordy was about to start when Sam interrupted "Ed, you forgot to include the fact that I messed up. I failed to watch the monitor properly and lost visual on Sara Clarry and the subject's change in location just prior to entry."

"Sam, she would have moved whether you saw her or not. It has no bearing on the outcome. You communicated the location of the subject prior to us moving in. You warned us he was going to shoot the little boy. Your action likely saved that boy's life. The subject moved in the split seconds after we began our entry. There is nothing you could have done in that instant because it was already in play" Ed stated firmly.

Spike interjected "We all knew the kids might dart in any direction upon entry. They are unpredictable. It could have been any one or all of them that moved on us. Jules priority was the grouped kids, my priority was Kenny and Wordy's priority was the subject. Everyone did what was possible to protect them in the store. Wordy located the subject and pursued. You responded to his backup request."

Wordy took over "The situation in the alley was fast and required split second decision making. The subject's body movements were jerky and he was in a heightened agitated state when he realized he was locked in. He had already fired at one kid and was using a little girl as a human shield and threatening to kill her. Constable Braddock's highly honed observational skills allowed him to recognize the immediate threat and his split second response saved the little girl. She would have been dead if he did not fire when he did."

Agent Stevens noted that down and asked the use-of-force continuum questions to Wordy. Then she directed her questions to Sam "There was an EMS report that you were unconscious for a period of time after using lethal force. What was the reason for this Constable Braddock?"

Sam took a deep breath and responded with a hint of sadness lacing his words "The little girl being held, Sara, looked at me with innocent green eyes. I noticed she did not have shoes on. My little sister also named Sara, had eyes much like hers died in front of me when I was nine. She was knocked out of her shoes when the car hit her."

"I saw the subject raising the gun toward her head and I took the shot. In that instant after firing the memories of my sister Sara overwhelmed me. I wasn't sure if I had been able to react fast enough to save Sara Clarry. It hit me hard. There was nothing I could do to save my sister. I think my mind did not want to register if I wasn't able to react in time to save Sara Clarry. It would have been too painful if I wasn't able to. So I collapsed."

Watching closely Patch noticed that Blondie had paled considerably and his breathing was starting to get uneven. This was still too raw, too soon for him to be discussing. He was about to call a break when agent Stevens spoke her voice a little unsteady "We will break for at least ten minutes as I need to document my findings".

Patch looked at her and saw her eyes were teary and knew it was a complete fabrication. Sam's words affected her too.

Kendall really needed the break. That was just too heart wrenching to hear especially after witnessing what Donner did to him. She couldn't believe that Donner blamed a nine year old boy who watched his sister die of causing his father's suicide. She shuffled papers and wrote some nonsense down pretending to be doing something as she remembered all the hurtful things Donner hurled at Sam. She felt sick to her stomach just remembering so excused herself and went to the bathroom where she splashed cold water on her face and took some time to recompose herself.

Sam sat contemplating his choice of words. It was subtle shift in thinking. It was the first time he had ever described it as 'nothing I could do to save my sister' versus 'it was my fault, I failed to save her'. His brain starting to recognize that as a nine year old there really wasn't anything he could have done. That somethings were just out of his control and that is not failure.

He looked up as Jules knelt down next to his chair with a drink in her hands. "Want an energy drink and how ya doing?" she asked with concern in her voice.

"Sure. Thanks. Doing okay. Hard, always hard to go through, but you know that." Sam replied honestly. Something told him he could always be totally honest with her. She might get pissed off but she would never judge him. He looked into her sable brown eyes and saw compassion and maybe a hint of something more. He silently wished she would run her fingers through his hair that had felt nice at the bank.

Jules handed Sam the drink. As she rose to go back to her seat she couldn't resist running her fingers through his hair a bit as she said "Yeah. It's always hard. Just one more to go. You'll get through it. We are family; we're all here for you."

She thought she heard him sigh contentedly. He likes this she thought with a smile just before she walked back to her chair and sat down. She looked down at her hand; her fingers tingled from that touch. Strange reactions and thoughts he brings out in me.

Greg was watching Sam and Jules intently. There was something more there than just teammates. Nothing he could put a finger on but something. He noticed the way she comforted him and his response. They had a connection he could not define yet. He didn't think they even knew but it was there. He'd have to keep a watchful eye on them.

After ten minutes agent Steven cleared her throat before she said "Based on the facts of this case and testimony given here my recommended finding will be that it was justified use of lethal force. Now, we have the final call to get through and then we will be done. The gang war in Rouge Park. I have already obtained a statement from Constable Frank Hudson who was a member of the team lead by Constable Braddock. Constable Callaghan please provide an accounting of the actions of the team up until spotting the subjects in the clearing."

Jules reported all the details. When she finished Kendall asked "You say that Constable Braddock appeared upset by something Constable Plouffe was doing? Do you know what it was about?"

Jules shook her head no.

"Constable Braddock can you please explain?" agent Stevens inquired.

Everyone was watching Sam closely. Something was definitely bothering him and he was uncomfortable and reluctant to explain. Ed, Blaze and Wordy thought they saw a hint of fear in his eyes. He truly did not want to say why.

Crap what was that he just told himself about being honest with her, she's gonna be pissed off. She wouldn't punch me would she? He braced himself and decided to state facts, god help him, deep breath "Aaron was putting the team at risk because of his actions. So I switched teams and made him take point with me so I could keep the team safe."

Will Stevens let me get away with only this? Please, please, don't ask what actions he begged silently.

"What actions would put the team at risk?" Stevens asked unaware of his tension.

Damn, never lucky, just say and get it over with, don't be a coward "Aaron asked Jules to take point. Told her he was better at covering the rear." Deep breath "He was not doing his job watching for threats, it made me angry, he was busy leering at her backside, watching HER rear, not THE rear."

Not a single one expected that answer. The room erupted in laughter. All except for Jules. Fire sparked and burned brightly in Jules eyes as she shouted "He was leering at my ass. I should have decked him. He deserved it mostly for all the crap he was spewing at you. How dare he put you and Frank at risk by doing that?" She continued to spout off totally incensed by Aaron's actions because they put the other guys at risk.

Greg moved close to Jules while everyone else moved away. He got her attention with a soft touch to the shoulder and only said in a long drawn out sound "Jules." He gave her a look that said settle down without having to say the words.

She smoldered a bit more then abruptly turned on Sam and bit out angrily "Why the hell didn't you tell me?" He just gave her a playful look of 'duh when have I had time combined with just don't punch me' before he ducked his head trying to hide the laughter that infected him too.

After several more minutes of hilarity at the expense of Jules, agent Stevens tried to get the proceedings back to a serious note. But it was difficult she liked watching them all laugh. "Okay, let's calm down. So we know what occurred up to spotting the subjects."

Since he was only one who could tell the details she finally had to engage Sam in giving details of lethal force. She had spared him as much as she could. "Constable Braddock, please give the details from that point to the activities that resulted in one wounded subject, three dead subjects and the death of Constable Plouffe."

Sam gave a full and steady report of all the actions taken. Just as he had the night before he indicated Aaron's part in saving his life and his sorrow that he was unable to save Aaron. He ended his account saying that Aaron was a credit to SRU and an honorable man.

Kendall didn't even bother asking the use of force questions. It was clearly evidenced by Aaron's death and Sam's injuries that it was justified. She was somewhat amazed that Sam could feel that way towards Aaron given the vitriol the man had spewed about him and his behavior towards him and the teammates.

However she did have to agree with his reasoning. In the end the man was honorable and should not be judged by one afternoon's events. Kendall stated "Based on the information gathered here I also will recommend that the use of lethal force was justified in all three subject deaths. Constable Braddock, you will receive official word in a few days' time regarding the findings in each case. If there are no questions, this will conclude the interview."

Sam looked at the clock amazed to find it was only eleven am. He couldn't believe they finished so quickly. Even though it was short he was exhausted by it. The process took a lot of his energy.

Patch could tell. He came up to him and placed beauty in his hand and quietly but firmly said "Blondie, you need to rest. I'll wake you when lunch arrives." Then he helped him rise and into the bedroom.

The others watched Sam move slowly from the room and were glad that it was over. Agent Stevens gathered up her documents said goodbye and left with Caldwell and Holleran.

Greg decided they all needed to take a break from anything serious until after lunch. They all needed time to regroup mentally. So they dispersed into small groups chatting about nothing in particular. Wordy excused himself to call Shel and Ed did the same thing to call Sophie.

The General sat in a quiet corner and placed a call to Yvonne and briefly explained what had happened with their son. He left out most of the painful details and all the classified ones. He smiled as he told her about coffee this morning and she agreed that there was hope.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Room on 3rd Floor - 11 am_**

He stretched languidly and yawned, rolled over and decided to finally rise for the day. He was thinking about his phone conversation early this morning. I know for certain he'll finish it if Murphy fails me again. Murphy was good for information. Hell his unit was on the plane that the General flew back in and he fed him the story of the General's behavior. That was fun to listen to.

But Murphy was fairly inept at follow through, always messing up in some way. The only reason he was in command of his own unit is all his fuck ups ended up getting the senior members killed over the years until he was the senior one. He was happy to arrange for him to lead the unit; made it easier to use his toy soldier to hurt the General.

Today was gonna be such fun. He almost hoped Murphy would fail. The irony of killing the toy soldier with his backup plan would be somewhat fitting on two levels. It was what had started his hatred of the General and it was what the toy soldier was best at. It would be so fitting. He smiled and rose to get a shower. Yes today was gonna be fun to watch.


	27. Weird Shit, To Live, Taken & Burdens

**Weird Shit, To Live, Taken &amp; Lay the Burdens Down**

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Sam's Room - 11 am_****  
**

Sam lay on the bed with his eyes closed listening to beauty as his mind wandered. Matt. Damn he was lucky to have had Matt in his life. Not everyone had a true friend. A friendship that benefited each equally, that provided something the other needed desperately.

Matt could always make him laugh, pull him from the edge and loosen up. What Matt needed was a sense of purpose, a reason for being and living. He needed to be cherished, valued and be needed by someone. Sam provided that to Matt in spades.

They each were so screwed up when they met in basic training. Both had strong shields firmly in place that they used to protect their true selves from the hurt of the world. Somehow they recognized the shields and were able to see passed them to the real people beneath. Their friendship, their brotherhood was the first time either of them knew what it was to belong and the sense of peace belonging brought.

Sam thought, man Matt's taste in music was so eclectic. The guys had promised to be the guardian of beauty but to never to listen to it. Matt said it was only for Blondie's ears. Sam thought they would be shocked by some of the songs. But Matt knew he needed to see all the wonderful facets that life had to offer through music so he built a playlist design to do that for Blondie.

The playlist included everything from classical music of Beethoven and Mozart to obscure old songs like 'Try to Remember' by Patti Page, 'Moonshadow' by Cat Stevens, 'Don't Be Afraid' by Air Supply, 'It's a Game' by Bay City Rollers 'Take a Chance on Me' by Abba, 'The Sound of Silence' by Simon and Garfunkel and 'Thank You for Being a Friend' by Andrew Gold.

Plenty of hard and angsty songs were included too, a few among the many included 'Another One Bites the Dust' by Queen, 'Were Not Gonna Take it' by Twisted Sister, 'The Reason', by Hoobastank, 'Hit Me with Your Best Shot' by Pat Benatar, 'Nothin But a Good Time' by Poisin, 'Master of Puppets' by Metalica, 'Savin Me' by Nickelback, 'Thnks fr Th Mmrs' by Fall Out Boy and 'We Are the Champions' by Queen.

Matt included lots of songs dealing with grief and inspiration too like 'My Immortal' and 'Bring Me To Life' by Evanescence, 'Rain' by Jon Heintz, 'Wait' by Broken Fences, 'Weightless' by Courtney Jones, 'Man Inside' by Shirock, 'Psalm' by Hey Rosetta, 'What I've Done' by Linkin Park and 'Days to Recall' by Justin Hines.

So much of the music he would never have chosen to include on his own, it just wasn't his style. In fact, Sam thought, it contained some really weird shit. But Matt knew exactly what was needed and all the songs he included were meant to help Blondie remember there was more to life than hurt and death.

It really worked, even the weird shit. It helped him feel the emotion, accept it, sort it out and lay it down in his safe place so he could handle whatever came next. Matt would tell him he could not carry it all, he had to lay it down, let it go, so he could move on and laugh again.

Sam snorted at the song playing now. Talk about weird shit and laughter. Matt's sense of humor could be so bizarre. Matt told him that he was supposed to replace 'Blondie' for 'Mickey' as he listened to this one 'Mickey' by Toni Basil. That guy sure knew how to make him laugh. Matt told him that the song would have been named Blondie if she had ever laid eyes on him, because he was 'just so fine'.

Shit Matt was funny. Sam laughed out loud. Okay. He was really okay now and moving steadily toward good. "Thanks Matt" he voiced softly into the air. Time to get back to the real world. Time to figure out all this crap with Major Plouffe, pay his respects to Aaron and get down to the business of starting to live.

The last thought brought an image of Jules to mind. To live? Jules? Realization hit hard and fast. Yeah, she was exactly what he needed, his life would have meaning with her in it. She was more, she was heart, she was passion, she was life. He'd have to be patient, take it slow. Jules was worth whatever it would take, he would go to the ends of the earth for her. He thought, with her by his side he could actually make it from good to great. To live, Jules, to finally live.

His thoughts were interrupted by a light knock on the door just before it opened "Sam, you awake? Lunch is here. You need to eat" Jules called softly into the room.

Sam sat up and looked directly at her and slowly gave her his WOW smile as he thought, beautiful sexy Jules.

Jules watched him rise and saw his beautiful smile grow has he looked at her. Something reached in and claimed a piece of her heart and soul as she saw the light that shone bright in his gorgeous blue eyes. Breathe, just breathe, need to breathe to live she told herself.

Sam responded "Be there in moment."

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Main Suite - Noon_**

All watched as Sam walked into the room. Slowly and carefully still but with confidence and lightness in his body language they had never really seen before. Like a weight had been removed from his shoulders and he had found something that gave his life meaning. He smiled, really smiled as he said "What's for lunch, I'm starving." Team One all thought happily, Sam's found Monday morning again.

As they settled at the table Sam said "Okay, so I'd like to know what you have found out about Major Plouffe recently. Do we have enough to charge him with anything to bring him to justice? And what is the security plan for today. The General asked if I was wearing a suit or uniform. Which will it be?"

Ed responded "We all will be wearing our dress uniforms to honor Aaron. But Samo you will need to wear a vest under yours. It's just too open and even with all the officers present it is necessary for your safety. Wordy had already left to get your things and grab a vest from HQ."

"Gonna be painful to wear given the ribs and shoulder Blondie. But I agree it's needed. I can give you a little extra for the pain" Patch added. Sam nodded. He wasn't looking forward to it but he understood and appreciated their concern.

Blaze stated "My unit will be in charge of the perimeter with the exception of Winds and I. We will be armed and you will not leave a five foot radius from us for any reason. Do you understand?"

Sam gave him a quirky smile but nodded, going a bit extreme he thought. Blaze continued "Your team will stay close as well. The rest of the SRU members have been briefed with an edited version of the threat and shown a picture of Major Plouffe and will ensure he does not come near you. Ed, did you decide if you all will be armed?"

Ed replied "Yes given the nature of the situation. Team One will be considered on-duty protection detail and will carry side arms. The rest of SRU will only be observant and unarmed as they are off duty. Sam, sorry but you will be unarmed. Doubt you could hold a weapon given your sprained wrist though. Now if you weren't a lefty" he ended playfully.

Sam nodded, Ed was right but he was distracted. He was thinking about what Wordy had shared with him about the whole situation when something struck him. "What about Blake Murphy?" Sam was still a little conflicted that he had saved the man years ago, the man truly hated him and they now thought he might actually be carrying out Plouffe's plans. "You guys think he might be one of the Major's lackeys."

Concern flashed in several eyes. Why hadn't they thought about that possibility? Lou said "General, do we know where Murphy is at?"

The General quickly stated "He and his unit were actually on the same flight I was on from Kandahar. Let me place a call to check his location." The General made a call and then reported "His unit is at the base but he requested and was granted a three day leave yesterday."

Spike jumped up and headed to his computer "On it, getting a picture and sending to everyone's PDAs. Is there anyone else we should consider Sam? Anybody that sticks out as a concern from your time with the other units."

Sam thought for a long moment but in the end shook his head no. Mostly the other units had just treated him with indifference not malice. A temporary guy assigned to them that they didn't invest concern in.

Jules brain went on another path. "General, we still haven't definitively determined if anyone on your staff was involved. The two you said handled the paperwork. We should know their locations too." The General made another call.

"Private Jordan is currently in the office expected to be there until 1800. Corporal Merrill is off duty at the moment. Staff reports that he worked until nearly 0300 this morning. They said he is likely home sleeping because he is expected back in the office at 1800 to relieve Jordan." The General breathed a small sigh glad his staff were not involved.

Neither Blaze nor Ed were as satisfied, their guts were talking to them. If not in the office he could be anywhere. Assumptions could be deadly.

Blaze spoke up "Spike pull a picture of Merrill too and send it out." The General pinned him with a questioning look. "Just doing my job Sir, need to cover any possibility. Blondie's safety is my number one priority." The General nodded agreeing.

As soon as Spike finished sending out the pictures he remembered the information he had found last night. No one was going to like it but it was time to share. "General, last night I was running some convoluted searches and came up with something you need to know. Sam needs to know. It is bad, real bad and it will likely result with Major Plouffe also being charged with treason at least maybe even attempted murder."

Everyone stopped to listen. The group had received so many shocks over the past few days they were almost numb. They now tried very hard to deal with each new one in a non-emotional professional manner. They needed to keep a modicum of objectivity here in order to get the job done. So forewarned it was bad they steeled themselves to control their reactions.

"I found clear evidence that it was not accidental that Sam was taken captive. On the darknet I found old chatter on how an officer was paid a significant amount of money to deliver a JTF2 soldier to a known terrorist cell." Everyone paled at Spike's information most notably Sam and the General but said nothing.

Spike continued "Even though there were no names in the chatter, your analyst were able to provide me with enough information regarding the terrorist cell that had Sam. I was able to find and trace the transfer of funds to an account in the Cayman Islands. It is under an alias but I used some of my darknet contacts to hack in and obtain name of the real owner of the account. It is Major Plouffe."

"General, we need to arrest the man now. Based on this information he cannot be allowed to be free for any reason" Blaze said sternly fire raging in his eyes as he tightly controlled his emotions.

The General's body language was much the same and agreed. He was about place a call to get the warrant for his arrest when Sam spoke flatly "Sir, you need to include Sergeant Murphy and Corporal John Travis in that too as potential accessories. Always thought it was just bad timing but now with the information Spike found the events take on a potentially different meaning. I'm not sure if they are involved but it is highly likely."

Patch, Blaze and Winds looked at him questioningly. "Blondie what do you mean?" asked Patch.

Sam continued without any discernible emotion, not blank but just stating cold hard facts "Three days before I was taken I was with Murphy's unit. He wasn't in charge then it was still Sergeant Gleason, who is now dead. I selected my perch for the mission but Murphy intervened and convinced Gleason I should be in another position."

"I was pissed and couldn't figure out why Murphy butted in or why Gleason agreed. It was not optimal for the mission. It was out of the way and not secure. But I complied because Gleason ordered me to. Near the end of the first day, I pull out my food and water kit to find someone had sabotaged it. I was there immobile for three days without food or water."

"We were on radio silence and I had been directed by Gleason to stay until a unit member came to retrieve me. Late on the third day Murphy and Travis arrived. I thought the mission was a bust because the targets never showed. I started to rise, stiff from being still for so long when Murphy said 'shit, still here asshat, thought you would be gone by now, you still don't belong' and decked me."

"Murphy and Travis proceeded to beat the crap out of me. Wasn't in the best shape at that time to defend myself but I got in several good hits. But then Murphy got a good blow to my temple and I lost consciousness. No idea how long I was out but when I came to I saw them running away laughing. A minute or two later the terrorists had taken me."

"Why didn't you ever tell us that Blondie" Blaze asked softly with sadness lacing each word.

"Didn't think it mattered. It was just the same shit I'd dealt with from him since training. It happened a few times before on other missions. As I said, didn't put any special meaning to it at the time. Just thought it was my bad luck that the terrorist showed up and I wasn't able to high-tail it out in time. But the words he said strike me as odd now, like he didn't expect to find me still there" Sam responded.

Sam looked toward the General. He could read deep sorrow, regret and concern in the man's eyes. "Sir, there is nothing you could have done. Bad things just happen; sometimes it is just out of our control" he said firmly as they shared a few minutes just looking at each other.

The General gave a slight nod. They had come to a silent understanding. No blame, no guilt, time to lay all the past burdens down and move forward.


	28. Confusing Dr Fraser, Motive? & Memories

**Confusing Dr. Fraser, Motive? &amp; Memories**

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Main Suite, about 1 pm_****  
**

After the latest revelation lunch no longer appealed to any of them, it was mostly left uneaten. The General had made the appropriate calls to get the arrest warrants started. Sam had gone to his room to shower and shave knowing it would take him quite some time to do so in his current state.

Several others were getting ready to leave in order to get ready for the funeral as Greg's phone rang. It was Winnie calling to inform the Boss that Wordy had made arrangements with her, Sophie and Shel to gather everyone else's uniforms and deliver them to the hotel. Wordy had left with Sam's uniform, the requisite vest and side arms some time ago and should be there any minute. The other's uniforms would be there in thirty minutes tops.

There was a knock at the door. The General went to answer and saw a man he did not recognize. He gave the man a hard glare.

"Hi I'm Dr. Fraser, I believe I'm expected" the doctor said tentatively looking at the rigid man.

Patch hopped over to the door. "Dr. Fraser thanks for coming. Were you able to get the oral version of the pain meds?" he said ushering the doctor into the room.

Dr. Fraser nodded still looking at the man who answered the door. He looked like an older version of his patient. They had the same eyes and rugged facial features. He thought they must be related.

"Dr. Fraser, this is General Braddock, your patient's father. General Braddock this is Dr. Fraser, he has been facilitating Blondie's care and is here to give him a once over. Need to make sure Blondie will be okay for our little field trip to the funeral" Patch said. The men shook hands.

"Where's my patient?" Fraser asked looking around and noting the tenseness of everyone in the room.

"In the bathroom; he should be done in a few minutes. Please have a seat, help yourself to some food" the General replied to the doctor then continued "Patch how about checking on him. He's been in there a while. Samuel might need your help."

The General was thinking Samuel might need some help with his shaving since raising his arms was so difficult and he was left handed to boot. He didn't want to see a bunch of shaving nicks from him doing it right handed. As he strode over to his chair and sat down again he realized he had learned a hell of a lot about his son over the past few days. Some things were extremely sad but mostly things that were beyond remarkable.

He really liked the man his son had become. He was thankful for the friendships he had forged with people that truly cared about him. Every last one of them was an honorable, strong, courageous and compassionate person. Samuel was truly an amazing person to draw people like this into his life. He was proud to have him as a son. He hoped one day Samuel would be proud to have him as a father.

Dr. Fraser grabbed a bottle water and handful of pretzels from the table. He saw all the half eaten plates. People never ate well when a loved one was doing so poorly. He saw the range of emotions play across the father's eyes ending in sadness with a hint of hope.

He must be hoping his son will recover. The doctor wondered what the hell they were thinking to let him go to a funeral. Especially since his father just sent someone to help him with the very basic task of using the restroom. Sad, really sad. He just might have to put a stop to it.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Sam's Room_**

Quite a few minutes later Patch popped his head out of Sam's room and asked the doctor to come in. The doctor saw the quick look of what? He wasn't sure, maybe concern in the man's face just before he rushed back in reclosing the door on his way.

Dr. Fraser slowly opened the door. He entered the room and closed the door behind him then turned to look at the bed. The doctor was expecting to see a very frail person lying there. He was speechless. The half dead officer that he treated on Monday night and Tuesday morning was laughing with Patch.

Sam sat on the edge of the bed in a pair of boxers clutching his right arm around his ribs breathlessly begging Patch to stop that it hurt too much to laugh. His eyes alight with humor and pain. Patch was holding a small cloth to Sam's face just beneath the chin. What the hell was going on?

Focusing on Patch, the doctor said "I thought he needed help in the bathroom" confusion clearly evident in his voice.

Patch was laughing as he said "He did, damn near slit his throat trying to shave with his right hand." He removed the cloth he had been pressing firmly against Sam's neck and checked to make sure the small nick had stopped bleeding.

Still confused but understanding enough through visual evidence that he had misinterpreted the situation he pulled himself together as he walked over to Sam and asked hesitantly "How are you doing?"

Sam had finally gotten relief from Patch's teasing of his mucked up shaving when the doctor had entered. "Okay" he answered lightly as the pain from laughing started to ebb a bit.

"No Blondie, he is not asking for your simple answer. I'm ordering you to describe the full state of your health and do it honestly or I will not authorize you to go to the funeral" Patch chided him.

Sam shot Patch a look of 'damn you' then turned to the doctor and rattled off "Mild headache, constant since yesterday, slight sensitivity to light. Bump on back of head tender. Face and arm stitches itch. Shoulder intermittent level three. Ribs constant level six to seven with shallow breathing, deep breathing jumps it to a level eight, level nine if Patch makes me laugh."

He glared and grinned at Patch then continued "Unable to lift my arms more than mid-way without assistance, jumps to level eight when lifted above mid-way. Right arm level four, still burns with movement. Left wrist level five, swollen, grasp impaired. General overall muscle stiffness, aching with leg cramps. Tired, sleep fitful but no nightmares. Able to hold down food. Heart rate normal and other bodily functions normal. Last pain meds about 0630 this morning. Mental state okay moving to good."

Patting Sam on the top of the head lightly, Patch responded "Good boy, that's better."

Seeing the doctor's astonished expression he added "Ex-JTF2, plus I trained him to self-assess and tell me what I needed to know concisely" he said smiling broadly like a proud pet owner whose puppy just performed on command.

Sam backhanded him lightly in the stomach with his right fist.

"Man the flies are bad in here Blondie" was Patch's response as he laughed and took a seat in a nearby chair.

Watching the interplay the doctor smiled, thinking darn he'd never experienced anything like this. He instantly liked this Braddock guy. "Christ, wish my other patients could describe at that level of detail. Let's just have a look anyway and see how things are mending."

As he moved to do his checks he noted that Sam's entire body was the color of the rainbow, hell more colors than a rainbow. As he finished up he said "Never have I seen someone look as bad as you do and with the combined extent of your injuries up and moving so soon after."

He thought Heather was right, this guy was Samtastic. "Please take it easy. I'd like to see you for follow up in a week. We can remove the stitches and discuss rehab at that time. We can then determine an appropriate amount of time of rest before I will release you for light duty. I understand you are attending the funeral today. Beyond that, I'm ordering bed rest for the next few days and no exertion of any type for at least a week. Do you have anyone that will be able to stay with you?" he asked.

Sam thought a moment. "Yeah, I'm sure that's possible." Sam thought, they are not gonna let me out of their sight for a while so yeah. It felt good. To the doctor he said "Thank you for coming by today. Thank you for all your help."

As the doctor was leaving Wordy came in with his uniform. Patch and Wordy helped him get dressed. Bending to put on socks or tie shoes was totally impossible as was putting on his t-shirt by himself. Dressed in everything except the button down uniform shirt, Sam stood and looked in the mirror. His face still looked a mess; he hoped he wouldn't frighten any children today.

Patch was reaching for the vest to put it on when Sam said "Can we wait until just before we leave to put that on?"

Patch nodded yes then said "Got the oral pain meds, no more shots buddy. Let's get some on board now. I'll bring some with us in case you need any later, if the vest aggravates the ribs." He knew Sam was hurting but had refused any more meds because the only version they had was the shots until now.

Sam nodded as Patch handed him the meds and a bottle of water. The three reentered the main suite.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Main Suite_**

Sam was surprised to see that everyone else was ready except Patch who excused himself and went to his room to dress. Being ex-military he was back in less than fifteen minutes. Everyone had found a comfortable place to relax until it was time to leave and was engaged in general conversation when Spike's computer gave off a loud Ping.

Spike grabbed the laptop and said "Another search has results." Almost afraid to look Spike opened the results. He was tired of all the hurt Sam was dealing with and didn't want to add more. The results were from one of the ones he was running to look for connections between the General and the Major. He clicked a link to retrieve the result and a queer look crossed his face as he read the information. All this couldn't stem from this? If so the man was completely off his rocker. He looked up to find everyone staring at him waiting with baited breath.

"Um, General, do you remember the first time you meet Major Plouffe?" Spike asked unsure.

The General shook his head "I really don't know the man that is why this confuses me so much. I have had very little contact with him. He is too far down my chain of command for regular interaction. I cannot figure what I ever did to make him hate me so much that he would try to get to me by hurting Samuel so often and so badly?"

"Well, I'm not sure if this is what started this or not but according to this you did meet him at about twenty years ago. Sam met him too. The guy is completely insane if this is what prompted his hatred" Spike said as he turned his laptop so the others could see what he was looking at.

There was a twenty year old Army Times newspaper article with a picture. It showed the General with a proud look on his face; his arm around the shoulders of an eight year old Sam who was smiling broadly and holding a Remi. Standing around them were several other men all holding Remi's.

All were smiling except for one extremely pissed off looking young Corporal Plouffe. The headline read 'Eight Year Old Braddock Blows Away Experienced Marksmen'. The article described in detail how Sam bested all the marksmen that day in an impromptu long range shooting competition during training exercises. The author of the article poked good-natured fun at several of the marksmen's abilities, Plouffe's included, because they were beat by a mere boy.

"My god, I remember that day clearly. It was summer and Yvonne, Sara and Natalie were all sick. I took Samuel with me. About ten of my top long range marksmen were having a friendly competition after a training exercise. I boasted that Samuel could best any of them. They didn't believe me. Sammy knocked them off one at a time, faster, more accurate, tighter groupings. The men couldn't believe his skill. It was all so friendly; they called him a natural marksman. I remember the picture being taken but never saw this article. Plouffe definitely does not look happy in this picture. I don't even remember him really" the General shared.

Sam just studied the picture lost in his own thoughts not hearing the General speak. He had forgotten that day. The memories filtered back in. Summer time no school. Mom and sisters were sick. He was so bored. The General offered to take him to the shooting range.

He liked going to the range with him. Something they could always talk about. There were lots of guys practicing that day. His father bragged about his skill. It had been fun, a rare treat to show off his skill to people who appreciated it. None of his friends understood, all they wanted to do was talk about was hockey.

Sam remembered the proud comments his father had made about him. The way he had rubbed his head or patted his back and smiled at him after he had made a good shot. Connection, he had a real connection with his father at the shooting range. A single tear slipped from his eye. How the hell did his brain scramble things so badly? It was almost like the car had hit and killed him that day too. He had so miss-judged this man for so long. He hoped one day they could truly reconnect.

Sam came back to the present just as the General finished speaking. Sam softly said "Do you think this could really be the reason? Seems like a trifling thing; to hate a man because his son shot better than him. There's got to be more to it." But then he thought of Murphy. Wasn't that man's hatred of himself just as unjustified? Sam couldn't recall anything he had done to the man, except almost kill himself trying to save his ass on that cliff. The human brain was confusing.

The General spoke again with solid conviction "I really don't care anymore why it started, what his motive was. I only care that it stops and stops today. He must be brought to justice for the years of abuse and atrocities he orchestrated and committed against Samuel. He must pay for his crimes." The entire group nodded in firm agreement.

Greg looked at his watch two-thirty, time to get going. "Sam, time put the vest on and button up" Greg said calmly. Ed and Spike helped Sam get the vest on. They adjusted it as loosely as they could but it was still tight and put pressure in places that hurt.

Sam hissed in pain as he tried to put on his uniform shirt by himself. Jules stepped over and took it from him. "Let me help" she said simply. She slid it on over his left arm, letting her hand rest lightly on his bicep. Jules pulled the shirt across his back, skimming her fingers over his shoulders in the process. Then she helped him get his right arm in.

Sam tried to button it himself but his left hand would not allow it. So Jules stood in front of him and efficiently buttoned his shirt. They were standing in the middle of the room surrounded by others but it felt so intimate, like they were the only ones in existence.

When she finished she looked up to him. Primeval energy surged between them as their eyes locked for the briefest second before she broke contact and stepped away awkwardly.

The hiss Sam released this time had nothing to do with pain. He quickly excused himself to the bedroom to tuck in his shirt and take a moment to himself. Damn she was sexy; he wanted her badly. He wondered just how long he would have to wait. Waiting was gonna be hard in more ways than one.


	29. Not Personal, Uniform, BadBlood, Funeral

**Nothing Personal, Uniforms, Bad Blood, Funeral &amp; Dad**

* * *

**_Rooftop Near Church - Friday - Noon_****  
**

That took too long. Finding just the right location had been difficult. This was the best he could do. Not optimal but it would be sufficient if needed, god I hope it's needed. I do love this. The money ain't bad, will be a nice retirement someday. They never see it coming. I hope Murphy messes up again. That guy is so inept. He had so many opportunities to off the man. Can't believe Plouffe kept giving him chances.

He had nothing personal against either of them. In fact he really liked the General. His son was damned hard to kill. Just kept cheating death; probably had something to do with his unit. He really thought he wouldn't make it through the terrorist. God all those unit deployments were hard to keep from the General and that request from his unit to go after him after he was taken.

Well that took an enormous effort to cover up, but he had managed. But he was ready to end this. He was tired of Plouffe pulling his strings because he had discovered his 'hobby' or 'side work' as he liked to call it. He had been so careful for so long; only one little slip up. Still pissed him off that Plouffe found out.

As he settled into place to wait he thought again, nope don't have a thing against either of them, just love popping heads off more. Any opportunity to do it was fine by him. Maybe after I'm done with this I'll just do a pro bono and get rid of Plouffe for the General. He liked the General; that would be a nice thing to do for him. He'd think about it if got to pop off his son's head today.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Lobby - 2:45 pm_**

Finally properly dressed and ready the group had left the room with Sam flanked by Blaze and Winds and encircled by Team One. The General following slightly behind comforted by the level of concern and protection Samuel's friends had for him. Samuel was a good man; his son was an honorable man. They congregated in the hotel lobby waiting for the vehicles to be brought around. They were an impressive sight all decked out in uniforms with the exception of Patch.

An eight year old boy stared open-mouthed seeing a General, a Captain, a Sergeant and several other army men in full dress uniform and armed. They reminded him of his daddy, he missed him still. They were supposed to take this vacation together but he died eight months ago.

There were also several fully decked out policemen who were also armed. And one guy in a cool black suit. He looked like a spy or something out of James Bond and had a black bag slung over one shoulder. The kid saw they all surrounded one of the policemen. He saw the cop's face.

Eeww, what happened to his face the kid thought? Then he remembered "Mom, mom, mom, look it's him, it's that guy, Mom, mom look" he said excitedly said tugging on her arm and pointing.

"Who?" she asked a bit irritated as she turned to see what her son was pointing at and looked in awe at the scene in front of her.

Wow, now there were some handsome men. Her heart fluttered as she looked at them. She was always a sucker for a man in uniform. Then she saw who her son was ranting about. The officer from the news reports. Jeezus he looked awful. They must be going to the funeral for the other officer.

She wondered why there were so many armed Army guys but then she saw the older gentlemen. The young officer was clearly cut from the same cloth, That must be his father they had said he was a General. Those guys must be the General's personal guard or something.

One man in particular stood out. God he was a handsome man. She stared at the Captain. The military style cut of his jet black hair coupled with his hazel eyes was striking. Jeezus, he looked strong and capable. What she wouldn't give to meet him. She got a hold of herself and looked down at her son "Ryan it's not nice to point, come on let's get going to the pool." She tugged on his hand to get him to move but he planted his feet firmly.

"But MOM" he balked loudly wanting to stay and watch.

His cry drew the attention of the Captain whose eyes quickly assessed the situation. She thought jeezus this is embarrassing as she tried to drag her son away.

"I wanna be a soldier mom just like daddy was. They got cool uniforms and they get to have guns" he was saying loudly as they finally moved away.

Blaze watched as the mother tried to wrangle her son and smiled at her. He saw the blush creep into her face. Yeah uniforms did that to some women he thought as he turned his attention back to Blondie.

* * *

**_Enroute To Church – 2:50 pm_**

The vehicles arrived at the entrance. Greg, Ed, Wordy and Winds were in one SRU truck. Jules, Spike and Lou were in a second one. The General, Sam, Blaze and Patch were in the General's limo. One of the unit guys was in the front of the limo while the other three were in an army vehicle that brought up the rear of the procession.

It was just a short drive to the location of the funeral. They had planned it to arrive just before it started to limit Sam's exposure. Enroute, Ed took the opportunity to finally ask the question that had been nagging him for a few day. "So Winds, I noticed your reactions when Samo said he was fine moving to okay. Do those words have different meanings for Sam?"

Greg and Wordy were intrigued by the question and waited for an answer.

Winds chuckled "You noticed that. Wow good observation." But he didn't answer.

"So, do they?" queried Wordy not letting go.

"Yeah, they do; another one of our codes" Winds said still not offering an explanation.

"Spill it man. What do they mean?" Ed demanded somewhat forcefully "I'm responsible for him now. I need to know."

Winds considered if he should tell and finally decided that it was important. Blondie could hide so much with the simple word fine if they didn't know. It would be in his best interest to spill it.

"It is the level of his emotional well-being. Patch came up with it; goes from fine to okay to good to great. The last three are all acceptable. Never heard him say great though, usually was okay. If Matt was around it hit good. If he says fine he needs help."

"Why would he need help if he is fine?" Greg interjected.

"Because it doesn't mean fine" Winds said, still getting confused looks from all. He laughed a bit as he said "Fine actually stands for Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional."

The guys took that in. Ed remembered after every lethal force Sam had said he was fine and Ed had let it drop thinking all was okay. Damn it to hell. He asked needing to clarify "Does it ever just mean fine or does it always mean F.I.N.E.?"

"Blondie is a creature of habit. He always sticks to the code. So yeah, it never means just fine. When he says it he needs attention, shouldn't be left alone" Winds finished.

The leaders and senior member of the team tucked this information away for future use. Wordy could see Ed's eyes flashing knowing he was berating himself for some perceived failure so tried to lighten the mood by saying "Good to know. Guess we'll add that to Spike's _Proper Care and Feeding of Samtastic_ manual." That got a laugh and set things back in order.

* * *

**_Courtyard Behind Church – 2:50 pm_**

This was the only private place the Major had said. The Major had scoped out the place yesterday. He needed to find a location to hide and wait. There were not many options. If anyone did more than a cursory checkout of the courtyard he would be found. He needed to find someplace he could act quickly from. There weren't many exits. Not a good place. But it was his last opportunity to do this.

As he looked for a place to hide in the courtyard he mused about the bad blood between him and Braddock. Damn he hated Braddock with a passion. He was a cocky SOB. Braddock's stupid stunt on the cliff caused him grief through the years.

After it happened several of the guys and Braddock's best friend beat the holy living crap out of him and the training officers turned a blind eye when he reported it. Over the years, every time he met someone from that training cadre, they always dogged him. They would tell him that he was only here because some kid risked his own life to save his worthless ass. That he would be dead if Braddock didn't act so fast.

It also pissed him off that Braddock beat him at everything. He should have been the star of that training cadre. But no he always came in second to Braddock. He was better at shooting, faster runner, quicker at assessing situations, better at tactics, lasted longer in cold weather and anti-interrogation training scenarios. Braddock shouldn't have even been there; he was too young. He would have been the star if Braddock's daddy hadn't pulled strings. Must be nice to have a General smooth your way, let you skate by, get anything you want.

Braddock even got deployed with the unit Murphy had wanted to be part of. The scuttlebutt was they were the best unit. But no, he and that damned best friend Matt got assigned. They got all the best most glorious assignments; while he kept getting stuck with sucky units. Boy he was happy when Gleason finally bought it. Still didn't know how he managed to get Gleason to agree with him about Braddock's position that day. But it was a great success for him. Just wish Braddock had died at the terrorist's hands.

Plouffe was very happy with him that time and he got his promotion to Master Corporal faster than Braddock. Every time he was successful with what Plouffe wanted he got kudos and promotions. Hell he even made it to Sergeant in record time and had his own unit while Braddock was still just a piss-ant sniper. If he was successful today, the Major had promised to fast track him to Warrant Officer. That would be nice. Ah that would be a good place to hide.

* * *

**_Arriving At Church _****_– 2:55 pm_**

They arrived at nearly three pm. As they exited the vehicles Spike passed out headsets to all of the SRU and Army detail including the General and Sam.

Greg said "We want to make sure we are all in contact in case anything goes awry." Everyone nodded and adjusted their headsets.

Sam was struggling to put his on one-handed when Lou walked over and helped. Sam silently mouthed 'thanks' and Lou patted him on the shoulder.

Just then the General's phone rang. He walked a short distance away to take it when he returned he said "That was the JAG office. They have the arrest warrants for all the parties and are sending out MPs to locate the men and execute the warrants. We are not to engage the Major at the funeral. The MPs will take care of it when they arrive. For now our priority is Samuel's safety." The General addressed Blaze specifically "If the Major tries to approach for any reason, as your first priority is Samuel's safety, I authorize use of whatever force may be required to keep him safe. Understood?"

"Yes Sir, Roger that" Blaze responded. The unit guys took up their perimeter positions as the others headed toward the church. Team Five had been directed to hold seats at the back of the funeral area for Sam and the General.

As the group approached the church cameras started flashing from every direction. Aaron's funeral was a media circus. Ed and Blaze quickly assessed the surroundings glad that the uniform officers had it under control and the media although there in droves was a cordoned off in an area a respectful distance away.

* * *

**_Inside Church _**– **_Aaron's Funeral _**– **_3:00 pm_**

Aaron's family sat at the front. His mother, father, brother and sister sat together. The Major sat in the row behind them with several other extended family members. All seats except two in the very back row were taken. There were dozens more people standing. The SRU team members had made sure they dispersed themselves throughout the room all keeping an eye out for Murphy and Merrill in the faces of the crowd.

All eyes pivoted to the last group of people to arrive as they entered. There were several gasps as people took in Sam's face. Several more curious and questioning looks wondering why there were armed Army and SRU officers at a funeral.

This was the first time Team Four members had seen Sam and for the other teams the first time since he was on the floor outside the briefing room on Tuesday. They all had nearly identical thoughts. Shit he looked terrible but thank god he was alive and they wouldn't be burying two of their own today.

The Major realized when they had entered and did not bother to turn to look. He only smiled slightly. The woman next to him saw the smile and felt a shiver run down her spine. She had never liked him. He gave her the creeps and in fact he gave most the family the creeps. How could two brothers be so different? She shifted slightly away from him, wishing she didn't have to sit next to him.

Sam slowly made his way to the open aisle seat and gingerly lowered himself into it. Sitting at attention he was embarrassed by all the stares. The color on his face increasing with the blush he could not control. The General sat next to him between Sam and the other person providing a buffer. He placed a hand on Sam's thigh and patted it lightly then softly whispered "Relax son."

Blaze and Winds stood directly behind Sam. Ed stood right next to the chair and gently placed his hand on Sam's right shoulder leaving it there in a gesture of support. Ed thought, the kid was so tense.

The funeral began. The pastor recited the appropriate prayers and delivered comforting words. He then opened it up for anyone who wanted to share memories or words of Aaron. Several people took him up on the offer and the picture they painted was of a good man, a fun and mischievous boy, a loving son and brother and a good officer.

The things his brother said about him hit the team hard and solidified what Sam had said about not letting one afternoon define the man. His brother had said that although Aaron could be pig-head, rash and hold onto erroneous thoughts a bit too long eventually he would see the truth of something and made amends for his rash or egregious behavior.

He was proud that his brother always rectified his mistakes. He was also proud that his brother had chosen to protect people. He was sad that he died too young but that he was doing what he loved when he passed. His brother concluded that Aaron was the definition of an honorable man.

As Sam listened he bent his head looking at his chest as tears welled in his eyes. He so wished he had been able to save Aaron. It hurt that he had failed Aaron and caused Aaron's family such pain.

At the conclusion people started milling about, talking to one another mostly sharing memories of Aaron. A young pregnant woman with red ringed and bloodshot teary eyes slowly approached Sam. Sam's head was still down and did not see her approach but the rest of them tensed slightly, readying themselves. With a shaky frail voice she addressed Sam "Constable Braddock?"

Sam raised his head. Tears still visible in his eyes he looked to the woman "Yes."

When she saw his face, she audibly gasped as her hand flew to her mouth "Oh my!" Recovering a bit she said "Sorry, it looks painful." He just slightly nodded waiting for her to continue. "I'm sorry; my name is Tammy Middles, Aaron's fiancé. I mean … was his fiancé" she said as new tears filled her eyes. "I was wondering if I could talk to you." Sam remained silent so she tentatively queried "I was hoping you could, I mean I need to, …" her voice breaking off.

Sam clearly seeing her distress tried to determine what it was she wanted "Tammy, you wanted to talk to me" he said softly looking into her eyes.

She nodded and very softly said "I need to know what happened. How he … how Aaron … died. I need to know for our … our son …" as she placed her hand on a very pregnant belly. "He will want to … to know one day". Tears slipped from both sets of eyes. "But there are too …many" she looked uncomfortably at all the people "Too many people here, could we talk privately?" as soft sobs started.

Sam stood slowly and took hold of her hand her as she cried for several minutes. He wished he could hug her but his injuries would not allow it. As he held her hand he was communicating non-verbally, having a war of no words with Blaze and Ed indicating that he would talk to this woman privately.

It was the least he could do. Aaron's son would be fatherless because he saved Sam. He would not take No for an answer; find a place he could talk to her and do it now was his final communication before he said "Yes, give them a moment to find a place for us to talk."

No one was happy. This was not the plan. The plan was in and out. Limit Sam's exposure. Dammit.

Frank had seen the exchange but not overheard the conversation between Sam and Tammy and saw Sam was now holding her hand so he walked over. "Tammy? Are you okay?" he said softly.

Ed said "She needs to talk privately with Sam. We need to find some place secure."

Frank thought "There is the wedding gazebo in the courtyard out back. Not ideal but the only place I can think of."

"Show us the way" the General said.

* * *

**_Courtyard Behind Church_**–**_ 4:10 pm_**

They all followed Frank towards the back entrance of the church to get to the gazebo. Before they allowed Sam to exit the church the entire security team did a scan of the area and took up positions around the small courtyard in the middle of which was the gazebo.

Given the all clear by Blaze, Sam and Tammy with the General close at hand entered the gazebo area. There was a small bench just big enough for two inside the gazebo. Sam slowly sat and Tammy joined him. The General stood off to the side not far away affording what privacy he could but not wanting to be too far from Samuel. Blaze and Ed's guts were churning, Sam was too exposed here. Damn he was putting himself at risk again, they were pissed.

Tammy's crying had lessened a bit as she said "Thank you. I need to know. No one has told us anything about what happened. It's just so hard not knowing" she looked into his eyes.

Sam nodded and said "Sorry, they usually tell the families what happened after the SIU interviews are complete and the findings are official. I wasn't able to do the interview until this morning." She looked at his face and nodded understanding. "It will be a few more days until the official report is available."

She started crying again and dropped her head. Sam tried to put his arm around her but hissed in pain as he lifted it too far. So he settled for patting her thigh.

Tammy had heard the hiss and look up again "You're hurt more than just your face aren't you" she stated. He gave her a curt nod. "Was Aaron hurt like you? Did he suffer?"

Sam wanted to tell her something so said over the headset "Boss, can I tell her what she needs to know?"

Tammy realized then he was wearing a headset, that his whole team was and they were armed and encircling them. Something wasn't right. The whole checking out the place had gone over her head at first. Again she thought something is not right and got scared.

Greg replied "Keep it brief only the essentials".

"Copy that" he said. Looking at Tammy he said "I can't tell you everything. You will need to wait for the official report. No, Aaron did not suffer. It was instant. Aaron was an honorable man and he saved my life. I wish I could have saved his."

Up in a tree next to the gazebo, Murphy watched the scene before him. Hatred building more for the man. Look at all those people surrounding him. His daddy is right next to him. He gets someone killed and they still support him. Now was the time to end it.

He smiled and praised himself, this was going to be good. He had picked the perfect location. No one had bothered to look up when they checked the courtyard. He leveled his gun, perfect kill shot aligned.

The General was scanning the area when several birds flew by. As his eye tracked the birds he saw a glint of light of metal in the tree. As he launched himself toward Samuel he yelled "Shooter in tree."

Simultaneously four shots rang out as the General slammed into Samuel knocking them both hard to the ground. Then Murphy fell to the earth; dead with three holes in his head.

Greg, Wordy, Spike, Winds and Patch were racing to the Sam and the General. Jules, Ed and Blaze guns drawn and still smoking were scanning the area high and low for more threats. Frank and Lou went to cover Tammy and move her indoors to safety.

Sam was struggling to breathe the General's full weight was on him and the slam to the ground knock all the wind out of him. Pain was shooting thru his chest. He felt wetness. He was dizzy. The General was lifted from him and suddenly there were hands, so many hands helping him to sit, checking him over.

His brain registered that the General was laying on the ground next to him. Patch's crimson covered hands pressing down on the General's shoulder as pool of blood was rapidly increasing on the ground around him. "DAD oh god NO, DAD, DAD" Sam screamed in his head as he had no breath to get the words out …


	30. Ten Fateful Minutes

**Ten Fateful Minutes**

* * *

**_Rooftop Near Church - 4:30 pm_****  
**

Wow they closed ranks in so fast he thought. No clear shot yet. Can't even see a tuft of the blonde hair. Wait, just wait.

That idiot Murphy got what he deserved. He hit the General not Blondie. Idiot can't even aim properly. Three instant well placed shots and Murphy was gone. Those three were damned accurate and fast.

He was glad he was a long distance shooter. I'll be long gone before they even know where I was he thought. All I have to do is wait. EMS will be here soon. They'll have to move to take care of the General.

Just be patient for the opportunity. It will come soon. My turn.

* * *

**_Courtyard Behind Church_****_ – 4:30 pm_**

After the initial frenzy and reaction to the shot Blaze, Spike, Lou, Jules, Ed, Frank and Greg had rapidly formed a tight circle enclosing the General, Sam, Wordy, Winds and Patch. Weapons drawn by all providing cover all facing outward scanning for more threats.

Several other SRU members from various teams had hastily joined them in the gazebo courtyard providing a secondary circle around the first unsure what if any additional threat was present. Greg pulled out his phone and contacted Winnie to get EMS sent. The four JTF2 unit members were performing an intensive perimeter check to eliminate any other potential subjects.

Wordy helped Sam to get to his knees near his father's head. Sam was struggling to get air in through the searing pain in his chest as he watched Patch and Winds work. His world was reeling. He was dizzy from lack of air and he was covered in his father's blood.

His father was unconscious, bleeding out on the ground beside him. He had knocked Sam out of the way. His dad put himself at risk for him. He wasn't even wearing a vest and he covered him; got in the line of fire. The words 'unacceptable risk' filtered into his brain followed by 'damn like father like son'.

Wordy was holding Sam upright. He was talking but Sam couldn't distinguish the words yet as he gulped for air and prayed Patch could save his dad. External sounds rushed back in as he heard many shouts and calls around him.

Patch was applying pressure to a wound in the General's shoulder calling for Winds to get the bandages out of his bag. Winds quickly opened the black pack and grabbed pressure bandages. He shoved one into Patch's hand for the front of the General's shoulder. He grabbed another and applied it to the back. Both men were now pressing hard to stem the flow of blood from the General's wound.

Sam was finally able to gasp out between shooting pains "Patch ... how bad?"

Hearing the labored rough words but working diligently to stabilize the General, Patch did not spare a look to Blondie as he said "Clean through, pressure bandages will do their job. Painful but not life threatening. Blondie he's gonna be alright. Just need to get him stable and to a hospital for proper treatment."

As if on cue the General's eyes opened and he saw Patch above him. He realized he'd been hit, hurt like hell. Damn, it's been a very long time since he'd been shot. Sniper breathing to control the pain was his first reaction. His next thought was 'Samuel?' "Samuel ... Samuel? Is Samuel okay?" he said in a surprisingly strong yet slightly panicky voice.

Sam reached out and touched his father's head as he barely rasped out "Dad ... I'm here ... I'm okay" between breaths with an interesting mix of pain and relief.

He leaned over a bit so his father could see him. That brought more pain to his chest but he didn't care. Sam pushed passed the pain needing his father to know he was there. Blue eyes locked to blue eyes.

"I was so scared I was going to lose you Samuel. That I wouldn't be fast enough. Son, I can't lose you. Not now. God not now that there is hope. I can't lose you" the General said calming a bit as he saw Samuel was indeed not shot.

Then it registered in his mind. Samuel had called him Dad. He smiled. His son had finally called him Dad. What glorious balm soothing an old wound.

Speaking softly William said "Samuel you don't know how long I've wanted to hear that?"

Sam looked confused at the General and coughed out painfully "Hear ... what ... Sir?"

"Dad" William sighed contentedly.

He looked perplexed a moment longer then it hit Sam. He had called the General dad without even realizing it. Sam smiled in spite of the pain; Dad not General. The General had liked that he had called him Dad. The General had been waiting for him to call him Dad?

Sam quietly wheezed out "Dad" and gave a lopsided grin to his father and brushed his hand through the man's hair like he used to do to him when he was small. Dad. It felt foreign on his tongue but oh so right too.

Blaze turned to look at Blondie and the General amazed at the simple exchange but his mind rapidly returned to business. "Sir, we cannot wait for the MPs. We need to secure the Major so he does not have a chance to run. Plan to leave Team One, Patch and Winds with you and Blondie while I and the remainder of my unit secure the Major if you agree."

"Agreed" the General replied his eyes not leaving Samuel's face, thinking I know that grin. Damn, like father like son.

Blaze was off, calling through the headset to have the unit join him in the church to secure the Major. The circle instantly closed ranks filling the space Blaze had occupied; nothing was getting through.

Greg peered down at Patch and informed him "EMS ETA 5 minutes." Then he turned to Sam seeing the pain etched across his face and the struggle he was still having getting breath in and out. "That was a pretty hard hit. How are you doing Sam?"

Sam looked up at Greg, pain searing but he was able to rasp out "Good."

Using his new found knowledge of that word Greg smiled. He had heard the exchange between father and son. It was nice to see and they both needed it.

Patch hearing the continued labored wheezy breathing was worried a rib might have broken and punctured a lung. He was happy Sam said 'good' but it wasn't physical status. He couldn't remove his hands from the General to check him out but he looked directly at him and said "Blondie injury report." Injury report would be the abbreviated version of health status. Blondie would know exactly what he was asking for.

Slowly Sam rasped out what Patch needed to know "Intact ... difficult ... broken ... nine."

Patch relaxed a bit. Not great but workable at the moment. EMS would be here shortly. Intact, lungs not punctured, thank god. Difficult, hard to breathe and would need oxygen soon. Broken, thinks at least one rib is broken, more likely several. Nine, pain level, something Blondie could control for a bit but he needed meds soon.

Unable to do anything more at the moment Patch said calmly "Blondie, sniper breathing. We'll get you fixed up soon."

Sam nodded as he kept his eyes on his Dad.

* * *

**_Inside Church – 4:30 pm_**

Pandemonium had erupted inside the church when four shots were heard. People screamed, dropped to hide and cover their heads or ran in multiple directions not really knowing which way to go. Sergeant Rollie Cray quickly assumed control and directed the SRU officers in a manner to secure the church and calm the crowd. He sent several officers to the back of the church to see if assistance was needed.

Rollie immediately directed Dale, Brett and Carl to secure Major Plouffe and not allow him to leave. After the briefing last night, as vague as it was, he knew that this man was at the center of this chaos. So he was not going to allow him to get away. The SRU officers had done a pat down for weapons and found none. They did not have any cuffs and were unarmed themselves so they contained him with their physical presence alone.

People were shocked and confused to see three SRU officers accost and surround a member of the grieving family. Their demeanor towards the man was ice cold and deadly. Many watched silently when one SRU officer ran up to the one who took control. He whispered something to him and it was completely clear to anyone watching he relaxed but anger flared.

Rollie strode quickly up to the Major "You got the wrong man. Sam was not hit. The General will survive" he bit out harshly. Although he didn't speak overly loud his voice carried throughout the hushed church.

The Major's brother, Aaron's father, was watching this all transpire wondering just what was going on. His brother was a piece of shit as far as he was concerned, didn't even want him here. Now his son's funeral was tainted by some madness.

David Plouffe walked up to his brother, glared at him and spat out "What the hell have you done now you twisted, perverse bastard? How dare you ruin Aaron's funeral with your shit. What the hell is going on?"

Just at that moment a livid and armed Army Captain and four Corporals entered the church from opposite directions and made a beeline to the Major. The Captain addressed the Major with fury that was so close to the edge as he spoke "Sir you are under arrest."

One of the Corporals handcuffed the Major and sat him down on a chair. The Captain continued, wrath embedded in every syllable of every word, "You missed Blondie again. After all you've done he still lives you bastard. You hit the General instead but he'll survive you too."

"You're a coward always getting someone else to do your dirty work. Well your hitman is dead. So you cannot kill Blondie, he is beyond your reach now. You have just added more charges to your long list of brutal crimes against the Braddock's. You sir will never see the outside of prison in your lifetime."

The Major's brother, David, stared between the two men recognizing the barely contained full-fledged rage in one and a weird serene calmness in his brother. The Captain looked like he was ready to actually kill his brother. He saw the intense fire shooting flames from his eyes and fists clenched at his side, so tightly all blood had left them.

Just what the hell had his brother done? Who the hell was Blondie? He recognized the name Braddock. That was the name of the other officer with Aaron when he died. It hit him; Sam Braddock had blonde hair, he saw him for the first time when he entered the church today.

Braddock was ex-military. Did his brother know him? Was he Blondie? What did he mean by missed again? Shit he knew his brother was four cents short of a nickel, unbalanced sometimes. But trying to kill someone multiple times? Now that was just deranged. David Plouffe was dumbstruck and could only stare.

The EMTs sped past the little group heading to the gazebo area in the back. They knew they had to get to their patient quickly. They were told he lost a lot of blood. The EMTs exited the rear and approached a group surrounding and protecting the patient. None of the group moved to allow them access to the patient.

The Major just smiled strangely at Blaze and then said in a clear almost giddy voice "Good, Murphy missed my toy soldier. He was too close. I really wanted my toy soldier to end the other way anyways. It would be more fitting that way don't ya think."

Then Plouffe laughed maniacally.

Blaze realized the man was psychotic. He wanted the General shot not Blondie. Christ what a twisted disturbed man. Blaze stared closely at the man as his gut raged. Something was not right.

Wait! Plouffe didn't mention the General. He just toy soldier. What exactly had he said? Too close … the other way … more fitting.

"SHIT!" Blaze exclaimed as he thought no god no, he couldn't mean?

Blaze took off at a dead run to the back.

* * *

**_Courtyard Behind Church_****_ – 4:40 pm_**

"Excuse us we need to get to the patient" the EMT was saying to the group.

The group started to shift. Frank and Lou shifted to the left and right making room for Sam as he stood to move out of the way of the EMTs.

Blaze burst through the door frantically yelling at the top of his lungs "Down! Blondie, Sniper."

Too late.

Sam's body lurched then he crumpled to the ground.


	31. Good Guys and Sickos

**Good Guys and Sickos**

* * *

**_Courtyard Behind Church_****_ – 4:41 pm_**

A chorus of horror filled shouts of 'Sam' and 'Blondie' echoed through the small area in the split seconds it took Sam to hit the ground. Professional training overtook everyone as they moved into action. It was eerily surreal, almost as if they had rehearsed and practiced this exact scenario and everyone knew their parts.

Patch, Wordy, Greg and Spike immediately rushed to cover Sam and carefully move him into the church away from the potential of more harm from the active shooter; as he seemed to be the sole target. Greg communicated with Winnie at the same time requesting additional EMS.

Winds, Lou and the EMTs moved to get the General into the church and followed after the group with Sam.

Ed, Blaze and Jules scanned for the sniper location and quickly determined the location based on angle and trajectory. Ed provided the location to Winnie so she could send patrol units to lock down the building. All three turned and ran towards the church following the General's group continuing outside to the truck to gear up and head to the building.

Frank and the other SRU officers provided cover for those moving the injured and then headed into the church to join up with their teams to ensure the people inside were safe. All wanting badly to gear up to get the bastard that just shot Sam down in cold blood.

* * *

**_Inside Church – 4:50 pm_**

The men laid Sam and the General down a short way into the main church room needing more room than the narrow hallway would have provided. Everyone who attended the funeral could see and overhear what was happening now. They were shocked to see two injured men on the floor covered in blood and several more with blood covered hands and splattered clothing. Parents pulled their children away and shielded them from the grotesque sight.

Patch frantically ripped Blondie's shirt open. It was covered in blood but had been before. Was it his or his father's? Was the bullet in the vest? Please, please let it be in the vest Patch begged to himself. "God dammit, armor piercing" he screamed totally losing his medic objectivity as blood spilled from Blondie's chest. This just could not be happening. He was not in the field anymore he should be safe here.

Spike helped him get the vest off then they ripped open his t-shirt. The blood was gushing. Greg and Wordy had grabbed several compression bandages from Patch's bag. Patch had both of them now pressing hard, trying desperately to stop the flow from Blondie's chest as he rapidly rolled Blondie on his side needing to find out if there was an exit wound. "Dammit no exit" he yelled as he gently rolled him back.

At the same time that was happening, the EMTs were focused on the General. They were trying to get him on the gurney. He flatly refused. The General was absorbed watching what was happening with Samuel. So much blood.

Winds continued to apply pressure to both sides of the General's wound as he also watched intently. He could tell Patch was losing it. Blondie must be in real trouble for him to be losing it.

The EMTs continued to focus on the General until he finally barked out in a commanding voice "Focus on Samuel NOW." The commanding voice of the General got through to them and they turned to look at Sam and instantly recognized that Sam was in far worse shape and should be their priority.

As the EMTs rushed over to help with Sam, Lou and Frank helped the General to a seated position on the floor with his back against the wall. Winds continued to apply hard pressure and the blood loss from the General's wound was finally stopping. Winds breathed a small sigh of relief. Now if they could just stop Blondie's he thought grimly.

The General continued to stare at his son saying under his breath "Don't let me lose Sammy now, he called me Dad. I can't lose him now."

"Hey Jim. Jim. Jim move over. Let us do this. Zack and I are here to help. Let us take over" Steve said squatting next to his fellow paramedic recognizing he was personally involved and losing it big time by the panicked look in his eyes.

Patch looked over recognizing Steve and Zack. The look on Steve's face and the tone of his words made him realize he was freaking out. Get it together man, he chided himself, it won't do Blondie any good if you lose it now. So he forced himself back into medic mode and responded to Steve "No Blondie needs me, start the IV ringers."

Then Patch, Steve and Zack got down to business of stabilizing Blondie. With the other medics helping now Wordy, Greg and Spike backed off to let them do what they were trained for wanting to do what they were trained for, get the bastard.

Spike, Wordy and Lou looked to Greg questioning. He knew what they were asking he said "Go, go gear up, I'll stay with Sam. Go help Ed and Jules find the bastard that did this." The guys raced out of the church to gear up and join Ed and Jules.

Greg stood and watched the medics working on Sam thinking 'this is just too damned much'. He almost rubbed his hand across his face in a familiar motion but stopped when he realized it was covered in Sam's blood. As he stared at his hands he reflected he had totally lost his objectivity, he was letting this get personal. He needed to pull it together for his team and make sure they were focused and on point. They had a job to do.

So Greg said calmly over the headset "Team One, guys, I need you to stay objective, focused. We need to find the subject and bring him to justice. If you cannot be objective I need to pull you and let the other teams handle this. Can you stay objective?"

He received a chorus of "Yes Boss." A small part of him worried they couldn't. Given everything they had all been through since Monday that was likely but he decided to take their word. "Good. Find the subject, bring him in. Switch to channel two. I'll let you know about Sam if anything changes."

With chorus of "Copy that" the entire team switched channels. Greg switched with them. He needed to be in the loop if his team needed anything from him. Greg had them switch channels because Patch was still wired in on channel one and it would be too distressing and distracting for the team to listen to what he was staying.

Greg then hurried over to where the other Sergeants and TLs were gathering. They quickly determined how they were going to handle the scene. Teams Three and Four would remain at the church with Sergeant Cray in charge. They would handle the crime scene and make contact with the MPs and generally keep the attendees safe. No one was allowed to leave until the shooter was located.

Team Two was on-duty and already enroute to the subject's building to meet with Team One. Team Five would have been on shift in an hour and as such had come prepared to gear up right after the funeral so it was decided they would join Teams One and Two at the shooters location.

Ed would take charge of all Teams at the subject's location. Greg would stay with Sam to provide security as they didn't know if there were more threats. That decided Greg returned to Sam's side. In that short time Sam had worsened Greg thought. Sam was too pale; he was losing too much blood.

The people congregated in the church were silent and stunned watching and listening to all that was happening around of them. That is, almost everyone was silent. The Major was still lightly laughing as he beamed directly at Sam on the ground in the growing pool of blood. He liked this sight of his toy soldier. He finally succeeded in killing him, he would finally die.

The medics continued to work on Sam trying to stabilize him. They had finally gotten Sam on the gurney and were readying him for transport. The General froze in fear when he heard Patch call out in a fervent voice "No pulse, we're losing him, we gotta go now."

The gurney sped out to the waiting ambulance with Patch sitting atop straddling Sam doing chest compressions saying "Blondie you can't die on me now. You can't. Stay with me buddy. Stay with me."

Greg knew he could not distract the team with this news. So he kept quiet and hurriedly followed the medics and Sam out to the ambulance.

* * *

**_Highrise Building Near Church - Stairwell 18th floor - 5:05 pm_**

He'd taken his time packing up his rifle. God that was fun. He wished it was a head shot but the chest will do. The look on his face, shock, they never see it coming. Well he wouldn't be any good if they did. He skipped down a few steps.

Love this part too. Kinda like my happy walk, I get to relive the shot with each floor down. Eighteen floors more to go; gonna take it slow and enjoy this one. No one ever knows where to look for me. No pro bono for the General; didn't get a head shot. Yep no pro bono. Oh almost forgot, need to be back in the office at 1800. Gonna be late, better call. He dialed his phone.

"Hey Jordan, Merrill here. Running late, had to wait so long for my turn at the hobby shop. Can you cover for me, might be up to 45 minutes late?"

_["Yeah I guess I can. About time you tell me what this hobby of your's is. Getting tired of covering for you" Jordan answered.]_

"What's my hobby? It's kinda lame you wouldn't be interested."

_["You so sure about that?" Jordan asked.]_

"Okay, it's collecting bobble heads."

_["Man that's lame. A grown man collecting toys."]_

Yeah, told you it was lame but I like popping their heads off. Sorry gonna be late was looking to collect a blonde one today, didn't quite get it.

_[Snarkily she said "Ah that's too bad. How late you going to be? I have plans tonight. I'll do it this one last time but you owe me."] _

"Thanks, I should not be more than forty-five minutes late. You're a life saver."

* * *

**_Highrise Building Near Church - Outside - 5:05 pm_**

The patrol units had silently sealed the building within two minutes of them identifying the location. No one had come out or gone in. Ed, Blaze and Jules had arrived in record time. Spike, Wordy and Lou arrived shortly after them. They were discussing strategy when Teams Two and Five arrived on scene.

Ed started to direct the tactical plan. "This one is personal folks, so I need everyone to stay focused and remain objective otherwise someone could get hurt. Can you stay objective?" He got nods of agreement from all. "We need locate and apprehend an unknown subject. We have no profile therefore have no idea how he/she will react. The shooter may or may not be aware we are here. We need to go careful. Lou we need blueprints, Spike access to security cameras. We will start there."

"Copy that" Spike and Lou both called as they headed for the command truck that arrived with Team Two.

To the remainder he said "We have a twenty story building we have to clear. This will probably take some time." Quickly counting the total SRU officers and Blaze finding nineteen he said "Break off in six teams of three. Spike will man the command truck watching the monitors. Once we have the blueprints we can designate areas for each team."

As Ed continued to brief the team Blaze's phone vibrated. He answered it and spoke with the caller. Jules noticed his reaction to whatever was being said and it was both good and bad. He quickly concluded the call and turned to Ed. "We have a target."

"Target?" asked Ed not liking the implication of the military term.

"Sorry I mean subject. It is Corporal Cody Merrill. Just spoke with Colonel Sutton. Per the General's orders he has been monitoring the calls of Jordan and Merrill and to contact me if anything strange occurs. They just intercepted one from Merrill to Jordan asking her to cover from him. He was going to be forty-five minutes late."

"And that makes him the subject how?" asked Wordy.

Blaze replied "His location and a couple of things he said in the conversation. They were unable to trace his exact location but he is in the GTA. He said he would be forty-five minutes late. If he were heading to the base from here now he would arrive approximately forty-five minutes late. He also said he was trying to collect a blonde bobble head."

Jules saw the potential macabre connection for the second comment but asked "What does trying to collect a bobble head mean?"

Blaze explained "Since all the revelations over the last few days, the General's analysts have been working overtime. They delved into both Jordan's and Merrill's pasts. Merrill often refers to having a hobby. When asked he says collecting bobble heads. With some deep digging they believe they have found credible evidence that he is a sniper for hire. Many of his travels with the General over the past seven years coincide with unsolved murders. The causes in those deaths are mostly long range head shots."

"That's just sick" Lou said.

Spike interjected "Got security cameras up. Scanning the stairwells first. You want me to go top down or bottom up Ed?"

"Top down. How many stairwells?" Ed asked.

Lou replied "Four stairwells and two sets of elevators, blueprints sent to your PDAs."

Ed assigned teams to each stairwell and elevator set. Spike would run the scans top down while the teams moved upward. The two teams at the elevators would position themselves on the ground floor. The patrol officers would maintain lockdown not allowing anyone to exit the building.

Ed, Blaze and Jules had made it to the eighth floor when Ed motioned to stop and he heard something. Jules quietly and swiftly descended a few floors and softly said "Spike stairwell B, tenth or eleventh floor, got anything?"

"Subject just coming to tenth floor landing, it's Merrill. He's carrying a rifle bag. Hands appear empty." Spike quickly replied. He didn't expect a reply as the three positioned themselves to apprehend.

Merrill was enjoying his happy walk when all of sudden he heard "SRU, stop, on your knees, hands where I can see them" yelled by a strong male voice and female voice. He looked down to see three weapons pointed at him.

"How the did you find me? No one finds me" he asked calmly but with an incredulous tone as he sank to his knees with his hands out to his sides palms up. They moved in, relieved him of the rifle slung on his back and cuffed him. He gave them no trouble, he remained very calm and cool. He was mostly shocked they had actually found him.

"Subject in custody" Ed called over the headset.

Greg sighed, relieved. He had been listening the whole time. They had the guy thank god. So he spoke "Good job team. Get to the hospital when you can."

"How's he doing?" Wordy asked the one question that was on everyone's mind.

Greg breathed deep hating the answer to this question then said "Not good, they lost him twice on the way to the hospital. He's fighting. I don't know any more than that. I'm in the same waiting room as Monday. Wordy, Spike, Lou, see you soon. Ed, Jules, agent Stevens of SIU is waiting for you for at SRU HQ regarding the Murphy shooting. Blaze they need a statement from you too. Get here when you can."

* * *

**_Inside the Church – 5:05 pm_**

Patch's call out that they were losing him had frozen the General and most others in the room. After Sam was rushed out a profound quiet had settled into the room. In the silence the General's attention was drawn to the Major's continuing laughter.

Anger red hot surged through the General thawing him instantly. He pulled strength from deep down and found himself on his feet and heading towards the insane Major. Having seen his son lying in a pool of blood and not knowing if he would survive the General finally lost control of his emotions.

He bellowed at the man "IF MY SON DIES YOU ARE A DEAD MAN." Winds had raced after the General, gently restraining and supporting him at the same time. The General continued to yell at the Major "I will not be satisfied seeing you locked up if he dies. What the hell did he ever do to you to deserve what you put him through?"

The vehemence of the General's words was scaring the crap out of the people close by. They could feel the intense pain and anger emanating from the General as he lashed out at the Major with one shocking accusation after another. If even a small portion of what he was saying was true the Major was a beast of a man.

David Plouffe, the Major's brother, had collapsed to the floor. He believed everything the General said. He didn't want to but he did. How could he be related to someone that vile?

Winds and Hal steadied the General as the last of his strength was ebbing and his tirade trailed off. The Major had just sat laughing as the General had shouted at him. Winds looked to Hal and said "The MPs will be here soon. Do not let the Major out of your sight until then."

The General's legs were beginning to give out so Russ quickly grabbed a chair and Winds and Hal lowered him into it. The second set of EMTs finally arrived and entered the church. The paramedics headed directly to the General.

Just then Tammy walked up to the Major and slapped him across the face as hard as she could. Anger and hurt played across her face "You are a vile, despicable man, you set me up. You told me to get Sam to a private area. You said it would be too painful for him to tell me what happened in front of others. You put Aaron's child in jeopardy. You may have just killed an honorable man." She pointed to the pool of Sam's blood on the floor. "I loathe you. You will never have contact with Aaron's son."

The congregation was stunned again. How ugly could this get.

Tammy then turned the General with tears running down her pretty face "I'm so sorry for any part I had in hurting Sam" then started sobbing in earnest. The General reached for her hand and pulled the young woman to him and down into a one armed hug whispering soothing words. All looked on as he comforted her and shooed the EMTs away for the moment.

Everyone had been so focused on Tammy and the General they didn't see the Major had freed himself from the cuffs. Seeing his opportunity Major grabbed the side arm from the holster of the distracted Daniel and leveled it at the General's head.

The General saw and quickly released Tammy gently pushing her away from him. Wanting distance between them to protect her and her unborn child. Winds, Angus, Hal and Russ quickly drew and raised their weapons directly at the Major.

Winds stated firmly "Drop the weapon, on your knees now."

People scrambled as far away as possible.

The Major ignored him and started to rant at the General "I'm so sick of your mightier than thou attitude. You always thought you were so Badass, rubbing other's failures in their faces. I was your best sharp shooter but you just had to embarrass me that day in front of all the top brass. You deliberately brought that mutant unnatural toy soldier in to embarrass your best."

"I never heard the end of it. Constantly taunted by others that I was bested by an eight year old. Then at every opportunity over the past twenty years you dressed me down in front of others. But I found your soft spot. I had so much fun using him to hurt you. My goal was to hurt you back tenfold and I succeeded."

He was laughing hysterically now "Maybe one day you will figure out what HB stands. Gonna make you cry when you do. I'll give you a hint. I turned him into a stone cold killer. He never missed. He was so easy to control, always followed orders, like a toy soldier."

"I arranged things so he hated you, blamed you for everything. Now he is gonna die and there is nothing you can do about it. He should have died so many times. Still don't know how he survived, especially those three months of torture. They told me what they did to him. The stories of what they did with the needles and whips were the best."

"One day I should share those with you. I really don't know how he survived that either physical or mentally. But actually I'm glad he did. Killing him this way is so much more fitting. Isn't it? He dies being shot by a long range marksman. Gotta love the irony."

Winds ignored the words; he would not allow them to impair his focus. He watched the Major diligently looking for any sign, the smallest twitch. He would not allow him to fire at the General. Plouffe had hurt the Braddock's too much, too often. He would not fail Blondie again. He would not allow this man to hurt Blondie's dad.

David Plouffe could not take any more. This was so sick. He yelled at his brother "You are a contemptible human being. Hurting innocent people for years because of the results of a shooting contest and perceived put downs. How could you ever conceive of and do those things? I'm so ashamed you are family. I cannot begin to comprehend how you could do that to them. It sickens me that we have the same blood."

As David spoke the Major became red faced and angry. He turned the gun on his brother. David froze, his brother was going to kill him. He could see it in his eyes. As the Major's finger moved to squeeze the trigger a single shot rang out.

The Major dropped dead, a perfect head shot. David was stunned. He was not dead; his brother was. How? His brother was fast, very fast and never missed. Then with wide comprehending eyes he looked at Winds, whose gun was smoking. Shock setting in he said flatly "Thank you. He would have killed me. Can't believe someone was faster than him on the trigger."

Then he looked at his dead brother and thought, so sick and twisted, the world was now safer. His brother had done so much harm that saddened him. David looked to the General and said with genuine sorrow "I'm sorry he did those things. He was sick. I didn't realize how sick. Nobody knew how sick. I truly hope your son makes it." Then he closed his eyes unable to look at the scene in front of him anymore. It tore his heart out, mostly because of the hurt his brother had caused others.

The EMTs swiftly recovered from the shock of what just happened. They helped the General onto the gurney. They saw that he was very pale due to blood loss and that shock was setting in. They speedily transported him out to the waiting ambulance. Winds went with the General in the ambulance.

Hal and Daniel stayed and handle everything with the MPs and the police. They would provide a full report of what just transpired, hand over the body and then join the others at the hospital. Angus and Russ were instructed to follow the ambulance to the hospital.


	32. Blood and Brotherhood

**Blood and Brotherhood**

* * *

**_Hospital – Private Waiting Room_****  
**

Greg had been sitting alone for what seemed forever in a fog not really thinking of anything other than the fact it had only been four days ago he was in this same room waiting for word on Sam. The trip over in the ambulance had been so very rough. Watching the heroic measures the medics took to keep Sam alive was exhausting.

Sam was a fighter. He was young and strong but was he strong enough to win this battle? Greg just didn't know. Patch seemed so stunned and unsure by the time they reached the hospital. It was disconcerting to see the fear in his eyes.

He was half listening to the activity taking place with the team at the high rise. They were good. Ed had the situation handled. Blaze's input on who the shooter was not surprising but the comment about bobble heads made him sick.

The team was just starting to head into the building. He could always count on Ed to lead them; they were a strong team. They would do what was necessary and pull together. He silently ordered them 'go careful, be safe'.

He couldn't bear to have anyone else hurt. He needed them here soon. They were always there for one another. He knew they wanted to be here for Sam, but first they would get the guy that shot him.

Greg stared down at his hands with Sam's dried blood covering them. He should really find a bathroom and wash them but at this moment that would be just too much effort. So he sat, head bowed, eyes closed and prayed that Sam would win this battle.

* * *

**_Hospital – ER Treatment Room_**

Dr. Fraser had been deeply shaken when he saw Sam and Patch enter the ER. All he was told before they arrived was that a man with a gunshot wound to the chest was arriving. He assumed it was gang related. The last time he saw this young officer was only a few hours ago and he had been laughing with his friend over a shaving mishap. The description of almost slicing his throat open was greatly exaggerated; it had been a tiny nick. Seeing him now like this was devastating. Sam was attending a funeral, how the hell was he shot.

Now he was doing everything in his power to get Sam stabilized the bleeding wouldn't stop. He'd lost count on the number of bags of blood they had hung. He normally shooed the medics out immediately but Dr. Fraser knew that he could not get Patch to leave under any circumstance. Nor did he really want him to leave. Patch had too much knowledge about Sam. He needed to tap into it to save this young man.

By the amount of bleeding he knew it was bad and he needed to get into surgery quickly. He needed the best surgeon though if he was going to make it. So he had placed a call to Bill Markson. It was his off day but he was the best so he pleaded with his friend to come in and take this case. Bill had agreed and would arrive in ten minutes.

All the monitors went wild. The nurse yelled "Code Blue."

Christ he was flat lining for the third time. How much more could his body take? They charged the paddles and shocked him. No heartbeat. Charged again, shocked again. Still flat line. Increase the charge and shock again. Beep, beep, beep. Thank god. Christ they were hanging another bag of blood.

He was too unstable to move to do CT scan or MRI so they brought the mobile x-ray in and he was now waiting for the results. Dr. Markson said it would be better than nothing. He needed to get Sam stable enough to move to surgery. The lead surgical team nurse was expected to arrive shortly for the exchange of information.

* * *

**_Hospital – Surgery Department Break Room_**

Heather walked into the surgery department break room. She was popping in to say hi to a few coworkers and grab a quick coffee before her shift started. The three nurses and one doctor in the room were glued to the TV set. She glanced at it and saw it was a report on the officer's funeral.

She turned away to pour her coffee and thought, sad day for the SRU officers. She had come to know and like the members of Team One over the past three nights. She had a special place in her heart for one very courageous blonde officer. That man had gone through so much. Today would be hard for him. She could see he felt so guilty he couldn't save his fellow officer.

She had grabbed her coffee and was turning back around to talk to the others when she registered bits and pieces of what the newscaster was saying 'a very distressing outcome … General Braddock shot … Constable Braddock shot by sniper … an Army Major and Sergeant killed …'.

The coffee slipped from her grasp and fell to the floor splattering everywhere. Her friend Beth turned to see what happened and saw that Heather was deathly white so she rushed over and grabbed her arm and guided her to a chair.

"Heather what's wrong?" All Heather could do was point to the TV. Beth didn't understand so she said "You mean the news report?" Heather nodded yes. "What about it?"

Finding her voice she said "Do you know which hospital they are going to?"

"Yeah, here, the officer is in the ER now. The General is still enroute I think. They'll be sending the officer up shortly. They are doing X-rays and trying to stabilize him for surgery. It's bad, armor piercing round through the chest. The medics lost him several times on the way in. They lost him once more in ER. Lost so much blood, almost bone dry so to speak by the time he got here." Beth realized the more she said the whiter Heather became so she trailed off. "Heather what's up dear you don't look good?"

Tears welled up and slipped down Heather's face and shakily said "Please god don't let Samtastic die. Which surgeon has he been assigned to?"

"Dr. Markson. They called him in special. He'll be here in a few minutes." Knowing something was really wrong she added "You know he's our best thoracic surgeon. If anyone can help the officer it will be Markson."

"I need to be assigned to the surgical team. I need to help with this one." Heather stated matter of fact as she quickly pulled herself together and headed out the door to find the nurse coordinator to make that happen.

* * *

**_Hospital – Private Waiting Room_**

The waiting room door opened. Winds, Angus and Russ entered. The General must have arrived Greg thought. Winds headed straight to where Greg was seated "Any word on Blondie?"

"No and Patch has not been in. I'm sure he is staying with Sam. He won't leave his side. Trip here was bad, almost didn't make it here. I assume the General is here now." Winds nodded his head as fear for Blondie clenched his gut. "How is the General?" Greg asked.

"He was pretty shocky when we finally left. Things got real bad in the church after you left with Blondie." Greg gave him a questioning look so he explained all that happened. "I really shouldn't have left, needed to give a statement to the MPs and police regarding the Major. But I figure they can find me here. I'm not going anywhere, our brother needs us now."

Greg simply nodded. Two men now sat silent, heads bowed, praying for miracles, their hands each covered in the dried blood of good men.

His attention was drawn to the headset again. Team One had just taken the subject into custody. It was in fact Merrill. Thank god he surrendered without harming any more of his team.

Greg turned to Winds and said flatly "The team got the sniper. It was the Corporal Merrill." He then shared with him the details the analyst found and the comment about bobble heads.

Winds just shook his head. the Braddock's didn't deserve what they suffered at the hands of those three bastards.

* * *

**_Hospital – ER Treatment Room - Sam_**

Dr. Fraser was wondering just where the hell the lead surgical nurse was as the door opened and Heather entered. Shocked to see each other he stammered out "Heather, you're the lead?" Hearing her name Patch looked up and at her.

Heather gasped when she saw Patch. His expression was beyond distressed bordering on destroyed. He was clutching to one limp pale hand. She heart wrenched and she wanted to comfort him but her priority was Sam. "Yes, how is he? Is he stable enough to transfer?" she asked assuming her most professional demeanor.

"I'm not going to be able to get him more stable than he is now, which is not stable. I've placed of a 40F chest tube. He's losing too much blood, signs of massive hemothorax and cardiac tamponade. I'm afraid if we don't move now he won't make it. Is Dr. Markson prepared?" Heather nodded yes.

Given the urgency they did the information exchange on the way to the OR. Patch followed all the way to the door never releasing Blondie's hand. At the doors to the OR area Heather gently made him let go. Seeing his pleading eyes she quickly said "I've got him. I'll be there. I'll take care of your Blondie" just before the doors closed.

Patch slumped to the floor in a heap and sobbed.

* * *

**_Hospital – ER Treatment Room – The General_**

Sternly looking at his patient Dr. Draper firmly said "Sir, you need to cooperate and calm down. You have a hole in your shoulder that needs attending to. You cannot be up. There is nothing you can do for your son at this time. Your pacing and ranting will not help him in the least. He is in the hands of our best surgeon. I understand you do not want to be put under. However it is up to me to decide the appropriate course of action. I will examine you and then determine what is needed and you will follow my recommendation."

Dr. Draper was an old and grizzled doctor who never took crap from anyone. A raging General did not faze him a bit. Let the man rant and rave. He would win in the end, he always did.

However he thoroughly understood the man's concern. He had conferred briefly with Dr. Fraser to get status on the man's son. The situation was dire. He would do all in his power to comply with his patients' desire not to be put under general anesthesia but his health would dictate the course of action in the end.

They were waiting to get the results of the scans of his shoulder to be sure there was no secondary trauma requiring surgical intervention. If it was a simple perforating injury they may be able to use only local anesthesia to close the wounds. But the General was impatient and pacing menacingly around the treatment room.

Keeping a patient calm until the results came back was not typically his job. But the General was scaring the poor young nurse to death. She was only a month out of training and had no experience handling the likes of this man. Give her a few more months in ER and she would know exactly how to handle someone like him. But for now she was too green.

So he had stepped in to settle the distraught father down. He was seriously thinking he should add a bit of sedative to the IV. The man was clearly overwrought to the point he didn't care about his own health.

The nurse peeked in the door tentatively and called out "Dr. Draper, the results are here." He hurried out to review them. Thank goodness he thought as he looked over the report.

He returned to the room followed by the nurse bringing the necessary supplies. "Sir, good news. Clean though, no damage internally. Simple suturing of the entry and exit wounds is all that is needed. We can do that with a local. Please sit down and we can get started."

Dr. Draper had decided the necessary supplies would include a mild sedative. The poor man was definitely distraught and needed some relief. It would be good to see if he had someone that could sit with him after he was finished, he shouldn't be alone.

* * *

**_Hospital – Private Waiting Room_**

They sat in silence each lost in their own worlds of swirling fear. The door opened and Spike, Wordy, and Lou entered. Greg preempted their questions with a simple shake of his head. They knew that meant no word yet. They were brought up to date on everything that happened in the church after they left. Wordy placed a hand of support on Winds shoulder when he retold about the scene with the Major. The man was clearly upset by it.

Noticing their still blood stained hands Wordy gently said "Boss, Winds, you need to wash up." They both looked at their hands sighed and rose heading to the men's room. It took some time to get it off, some blood under the nails and around the cuticles refused to leave.

When they return to the waiting room they found that Ed, Jules and Blaze were already there. "Did you go talk to SIU yet?" Greg asked surprised to see them already.

"Agent Stevens was assigned. She had us in and out in less than ten minutes. I like her" Jules said. "Any word on Sam or the General?"

"No, nothing on either" Greg told them. For the third time Winds related what had happened in the church and Greg gave them the only status he had on Sam, it did not look good. Lou offered to go get coffee for everyone and left the room with Russ and Angus. While they were gone Hal and Daniel arrived, they understood the quick shakes of the head as no word and quietly took seats. Hal didn't bother to give Winds a report about the aftermath in the church. He knew that could wait.

Everyone's coffee had turned stone cold. It had been two hours and no word on either Braddock. They mostly sat silent. Occasionally standing and pacing for a bit before returning to their seat. They were wondering where Patch was. Surely they wouldn't allow him to be in the OR, but he wasn't here. Blaze was about to go look for him when the door opened slowly.

Patch entered so slowly, his head hung down, his shoulders slumped. They all gasped at his appearance. He had shed his jacket at the church and his white shirt was stained with so much crimson it almost looked like a red shirt. Dried blood covered his hand and forearms nearly to the elbows. It was smeared across his cheeks and forehead. His eyes were blood shot and red rimmed and tear streaks still glistened down his face.

Blaze took one look and cried out "Oh god no" as he ran to Patch embracing him tightly. Winds was there a second later holding Patch and Blaze. By Patch's appearance and Blaze and Winds reactions they all assumed the worst but no one dared put it to voice.

Patch realizing what the others must have thought finally found his voice and shakily said "Blondie is in the OR. Has been for a while." He then looked into Blaze's eyes "I tried so hard. I don't know if it was enough. We lost him three times. It's really bad. I couldn't do more. I don't know if he can survive this one. Our little brother might not make it this time." He started sobbing as he collapsed to the floor. Blaze sank down with him and just held him as tears clouded his vision.

Blaze and Patch had been on the floor for over thirty minutes when the door opened and a young nurse hesitantly stepped in. "Family of Braddock?" she timidly said. She was completely startled when several voices loudly rang out "Which one?" She looked at her sheet "William Braddock, the General."

Since Blaze was still holding Patch, Winds said firmly "We all are, what is his status?"

She looked disbelievingly around. Could she give personal information to non-family members? They clearly were not all related. Her training did not prepare her for this.

Jules taking pity on the clearly frightened young nurse walked to her and said gently. "We are not directly related, but we are the only family either of them has here at the moment. Father and son were both injured. Please tell us the General's status so we may relay it to his wife and daughter who are currently enroute from overseas."

The nurse relaxed significantly. "General Braddock is currently resting in recovery. The wound was clean through with no additional trauma. The doctor stitched him up. They are keeping him in recovery while they finish the blood transfusion, start a course of antibiotics and because the doctor gave him a small dose of sedative to calm him down. The doctor would like to keep him overnight for observation but the General is refusing and threatening to leave recovery AMA."

A snort of laughter shocked the room, mostly because it came from Patch. He looked at them and only said "Like father, Like son." The nurse looked at the man on the floor and gasped. Her mind could not put together the combination of a blood covered man and laughter.

Her nurses training really did not prepare her for real life in an ER. "Is there anyone that is willing to try to talk some sense into the General?"

Wordy rose and said "Show me the way." He felt he probably had the best shot at it since they had spent several hours discussing so many things after Sam had woken and asked for him. They had connected and he knew that the General's current unreasonable state had to do with worry for Sam. He needed someone there to wait with him, he should not be alone.

As the nurse and Wordy left the room Winds walked over to Patch. "Buddy, time to get you cleaned up" he said as he reached out a hand to both men and pulled them up. The three left together to get Patch sorted out. While Blaze helped him wash off the blood, Winds had gone to the information desk to see if he could find something for Patch to wear.

* * *

**_Hospital – ER Nurse Information Desk_**

Nancy saw the bloody man enter the washroom with another man who had his arm around his shoulder guiding him. He looked a bit fragile. Who wouldn't when covered in that much blood. The third man walked up to her. "How can I help" she said compassionately. She loved working as the ER information nurse, she was empathic.

"My buddy needs something different to wear" Winds stated.

"I can see that. He's had a rough time of it" Nancy replied.

"You could say that. I need to get him out of Blondie's blood. It's too hard. Do you know where I might find something? Even an old pair scrubs would do."

She asked his size and told him to wait that she would be back in a few minutes. When she returned she had a clean pair of new scrubs. "These should fit. Is there anything else you need?" Nancy gently inquired.

"Yeah, we've all been here for hours. Is there any word on Constable Braddock's condition? That's Sam Braddock not William Braddock. We've already been briefed on the General's condition" Winds responded.

Nancy checked her computer and said "Nothing more than he is still in surgery. Dr. Markson is in charge of his care. He's the best surgeon in the GTA. Either he or the lead surgical nurse will be out when they can to give you an update. If I hear anything I'll come let you know."

Winds thanked her and went to help Blaze with Patch.

* * *

**_Hospital – Private Waiting Room_**

Nearly an hour had passed when the three returned to the waiting room. Everyone in the room turned expectantly towards the door, hoping to hear something. Several disappointed sighs escaped. The stress of waiting was bearing down heavily on the entire group.

Spike got up and walked to where Patch was sitting. The man clearly was not coping well. Cleansed of the physical blood but the images of what he had seen were clearly playing across his face in emotions. Spike sat down next to him and said with certainty "We all know you did all you could do. Which is a hell of a lot more than most. Sam was lucky you were there. It is now up to Sam to fight for it. He'll pull though, remember he's Samtastic."


	33. Braddocks, Fight, Extraordinary

**Braddocks, Fight to Live, Extraordinary**

* * *

**_Hospital – Private Waiting Room_****  
**

Wordy had returned to the waiting room around ten pm. It had been nearly five hours without word on Sam. When he entered he quickly reported "The General is doing well physically. The stress of waiting was getting the better of him. They upped his sedation a bit and he is sleeping at the moment. So I thought I'd come and check in here. As I was leaving the doctor told me the General's brother should arrive shortly. I'm glad, but I didn't know he had a brother."

The rest of Team One also didn't know. Sam didn't talk about his family. Beyond knowing his father was a General and he had a mother and sister they knew nothing.

Seeing the SRU team's shrugs and looks of 'I didn't know either', Blaze interjected "When I was on the phone with Colonel Sutton at the high-rise he informed me that he would contact Major Braddock so he could contact Mrs. Braddock and apprise her of the situation. From that I assume it will be the Major that is arriving" he finished.

"Ah so that is how Mrs. Braddock knew. I assumed Holleran had contacted her when he called to let us know that his wife and daughter were enroute" Greg simply said.

Wordy headed toward Greg and Ed and wondered how many brothers the General might have. The way Blaze had said he assumed it was the Major made it seem there might be more brothers. But he was distracted from further thought on that topic when he noticed Ed seemed to be struggling with something "Ed, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just _fine_" he said cynically. Wordy and Greg shared a troubled look across Ed's back.

Greg ventured "Eddie?" Ed just kept his head down in his hands with his elbows resting on his knees. The same position it had been for the last half hour Greg noted.

"Ed talk, what are you thinking buddy" Wordy said not liking the tone or implication of Ed's response.

Not moving Ed responded with a mix of anger and sorrow in his words "It's my fault. Sam wouldn't be here if I didn't let him talk with Tammy. My gut said no, but I let him go. On the way to the funeral I told Winds Sam was my responsibility now. I should have protected him better. So yeah, I'm just so _fine_ right now." Both Greg and Wordy understood his meaning, it was Sam's fine.

Greg shifted in his seat to face Ed head on and spoke "Ed, you did everything you could do. There is no way we could have known the Major was so sick that he hired a sniper with armor piercing rounds. Sadly, the truth is that if it wasn't today, it would have been someday soon. The man was too far gone to stop. At least today, we were there to help. Sam would not want you to blame yourself. You got both Murphy and Merrill. None of them can hurt Sam again. You did good. I know it hurts, we are all hurt, we are all worried. But we have to remain strong, stay positive. Sam will need us and we will be there for him."

Ed turned his head and considered Greg for a moment. Greg just nodded and patted his back. Ed then lifted his head and looked to Wordy. Wordy nodded with conviction agreeing with Greg's words and patted Ed's back too. Ed blew out a breath he had been holding for far too long.

Greg was right but that didn't mean he didn't still feel guilty. He liked Sam's word, it fit. He was _fine_ now but he would start moving toward _okay_ when they got positive word on Sam. That kid better make it. He finally nodded to both and said "Wish we would get some word, the wait is killing me." They nodded in total agreement.

* * *

**_Hospital – ER Nurse Information Desk_**

Nancy was checking the surgical status board on the computer for the umpteenth time. She wanted to have some news to tell the thirteen extremely worried souls waiting for word on Sam. She was startled by a new voice.

"Ma'am, can you provide us with the status for either William or Samuel Braddock?"

She looked up to find several attractive men staring intently at her. The men ranged from mid twenties to maybe early sixties she reckoned. Wow, she lost her ability to breathe. Trying to recover, she gazed at the man who had spoken.

"And you would be?" she finally got out knowing she could not release information on patients to just anyone no matter how good looking they were.

"I am Major Mark Braddock, William is my brother, Samuel is my nephew" the man replied and showed her his id.

"Okay. In that case, William Braddock is currently resting in outpatient recovery. Samuel Braddock is still in surgery. We have a private waiting room set aside for family and friends. If you would follow me I will show you to the room" Nancy said as she rose. She thought, jeezus, so many people. She'd never seen this many waiting for one person before.

* * *

**_Hospital – Private Waiting Room_**

The door opened and everyone stiffened, thank god, it was about freaking time most in the room thought. Confusion quickly followed. They were expecting a doctor or nurse but in walked a collection of military men. There was an Army Major, a Navy Commander, an Air Force Colonel, a Navy Petty Officer, an Air Force Warrant Officer, an Army Sergeant, an Air Force Corporal and a Seaman.

Jules immediate thought was '_impressive'_. As she scanned them it dawned on her that these men were all related. She looked past the uniforms and saw they were all formed from the same mold, one she instantly recognized. Strong erect military bearing. All had shades of blonde to light brown hair, their facial features were rugged and were alike in many ways but the most striking similarity was their eyes. Jules heart lurched as she realized they were all the same shade of Santorini sky blue. Exactly the same as Sam's.

Once the door closed behind them, the spokesman of the group said "Which one of you is Sergeant Parker?" scanning all the bemused faces in the room trying to discern who it was by simply looking.

"That's would be me and you are?" Greg answered as he stood up half knowing what the answer would be.

"Major Braddock, I am the General's brother Mark." The Major then introduced the other seven men, all named Braddock. The Major, Commander and Colonel were all brothers of the General, Sam's uncles. The remaining five were their sons; Sam's cousins.

Spike was staring mouth agape at all the Braddock men "Damn, Holleran wasn't kidding when he said that Braddock men were military men, generation after generation." Spike didn't realize he had said that out loud until all eyes turned on him. He blushed slightly but with a look of 'duh, just look' on his face and his arms out gesturing toward the collection of military men "I'm just sayin."

Team One and the JTF2 guys laughed lightly at Spike's antics. Quick grins also flashed briefly across all the Braddock faces. They knew they had this effect on people when they gathered en masse and in uniform.

The Major explained to the group that they had all immediately arranged short emergency leaves when they were notified what had happened to Samuel and William. They had all been shocked by the events and needed to be here to support both. In their haste no one took the time to change out of uniform. They had traveled as fast as possible from various bases and surprisingly arrived at the hospital at nearly the same time.

Mark Braddock then motioned to the Navy Commander and said "Erik and I are going to head over and check on William but the rest will wait here for word on Samuel. Have you heard anything at all on Samuel's condition?"

They all shook their heads no as Greg answered "No not yet. If we hear anything we will send someone to let you know." Although Greg thought the hospital would probably inform the General before them so added "If you hear, please send someone back to us." The Major nodded crisply and then he and Erik left the room.

The room was so full now, eighteen men and one woman waiting for word. There were not enough chairs for everyone. Hal worked his way over to Blaze. "Sir, I think that the guys and I should head out, give you all a little more space. With the security situation resolved, we should return to the base. Do you agree?" Blaze nodded thinking that would be the best. Hal motioned to Angus, Russ and Daniel that they were leaving. "Please let me know when you hear about Blondie" Hal said as the four left the room.

The other Braddock men moved further into the room and spread out among the others. Light conversation started between many small groups. In a fashion only Spike could get away with he was digging for information on Sam from two of Sam's cousins Kyle, the Seaman and Jeffery the Sergeant.

He found out that they hadn't seen Sam in so many years. They had thought he was always making up an excuse when he said he couldn't attend family events because he was in the field. They had thought it was because Sam wanted to avoid his father. They were totally shocked by the recent revelations and that Sam had actually been in the field. They all felt guilty that no one had realized what was going on.

Everyone was talking except Jules. She was sitting off in one corner by herself unable to engage in any conversation with men who were variations of Sam. It was too hard given her current emotional state. Her mind was adrift now recalling her reaction to Sam as she helped him with his shirt earlier today.

It was such a simple, innocent task. She had been shocked by the intensity of the heat that seared through her to her core in the mere second they locked eyes. It burned so bright hot that she had to break contact immediately for fear of being burned. It petrified her and excited her at the same time. She had never felt that for any man.

Jules could hear that he had been affected too. That hiss had nothing to do with pain. It was too sensual and he instantly sped out of the room under the guise of having to tuck his shirt in. Tears slipped from her eyes and her heart wrenched as she thought what if she never got a chance to figure out what it meant; to see where it might lead.

* * *

**_Hospital – ER Nurse Information Desk_**

Nancy had been checking and rechecking her monitor hoping for some update to give the group in the private room. It was so difficult for them to wait so long with nothing. It had been well over six hours now. She decided to check again, even though the last time she checked was only five minutes ago. Ooh thank god she sighed as she stood and headed toward the waiting room.

As Nancy approached the room and was about to go in she saw Heather making a beeline down the hall at almost a near run. How did she get down here so fast? Normally it would take them ten to twenty minutes to arrive after the posting the surgery was completed.

"Heather, what's the rush? You never come down so quickly after" Nancy asked noticing that Heather had barely bothered to clean up. That was going to distress them to see so much blood on her. "Heather, you should ..." She never got to finish as Heather nearly knocked her over to open the door and enter the room.

* * *

**_Hospital – Private Waiting Room_**

The door flew open. The group was so desensitized now to the door opening and it not being news that they were slow to look this time. Heather scanned the group, jeezus it had grown. There were so many military men. Christ they all looked similar to Sam and the General. She couldn't contain herself any longer as she blurted out loudly "Sam is alive."

Every head instantly turned to look at Heather. She almost drowned in the intensity of the relief that washed over her from the group. Spike beamed as he asked "How is he? I knew he would make it."

Heather only had a bit of information to share with them right now. She had run straight here to tell them the most important thing, he was still alive. So she shared what little she had "He is not out of the woods but he is stable right now. I won't lie to you, it is bad but he is a fighter. He has been fighting so very hard."

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears but she continued "The doctor will be down in about twenty or thirty minutes to give you all the details but I knew you all needed to know he made it through surgery. He is in post op recovery room now and will be there a while longer. Depends on how things go. They will move him to ICU when they determine he is stable enough for the move."

Patch ran to her and pulled her into a strong hug "Thank you, thank you, oh god, thank you for taking care of him."

Ryan Braddock, the Colonel asked "Has any one informed the General?"

Heather looked to the man, who had eyes the same as Sam's and said "No I raced here first. I knew they needed to know" her eyes shifting to Patch. She had said 'they' but really meant 'he'. She had to tell him first, she had to comfort Patch first. She had seen him drop outside the OR completely and utterly destroyed. Telling him had been her first thought.

Ryan said "I'll go let William know. You said the doctor will be down in about twenty minutes." Heather nodded yes, recognizing that Patch still had not let go of her, it was nice. Ryan continued "I'll see if they will let William come here. That way we can all get the information at the same time and the doctor only has to report once."

Heather thought that was a good idea. She said she would go with him to facilitate the General's move. She reluctantly extracted herself from Patch. "I'll be back with the doctor in a bit" she said as she left with the Colonel.

Several of the Braddock cousins with Lou and Spike went to grab coffee for the entire room. They all needed the caffeine boost.

A short while later they all were sipping coffee when the door opened admitting the General and his brothers. They had forced him to make the trip in a wheelchair. He had argued with them he was okay to walk but it was three against one, so he was in the chair.

Greg looked the man over and he was still very pale and there were dark circles under his red tinged eyes. He was glad the brothers had insisted. The past days had been an emotional rollercoaster for him and coupled with being shot the man needed some serious rest. A thought occurred to him. Moving to Wordy he whispered "Did you tell him about Merrill?"

Wordy shook his head no and whispered back "Didn't have the heart. He was too distraught over Sam. I'm not sure how he would take the betrayal. He said he liked the guy. It can wait."

Greg agreed. Sam was the most important thing at the moment.

* * *

**_Hospital – Post Ops Recovery Room_**

In post op with Dr. Markson, Heather said "Doctor, before we head over to give them the report I want to warn you. The group in the waiting room is fiercely protective of their family. They are not all related by blood but you will not find stronger bonds than those between your patient and his ex-JTF2 unit and his current SRU team. In fact the bonds he has with his old unit and team are probably stronger than his familial bond. You may dispense with procedure and discuss Samtastic's condition fully with them."

"They will stand for nothing less. Be completely honest with them, they will know if you are not, especially Jules. She has a sixth sense when it comes to Sam. Oh and listen to Patch, he knows what Blondie needs, if you don't believe me ask Dr. Fraser."

"Don't worry if Blaze and Ed rage at your news, it's just how they deal. Wordy will take care of those that need comforting. One last thing, look to Greg when you tell them the really bad stuff. He can help you calm and refocus them. Wait actually the last thing is, please don't be shocked if they laugh. It is how they connect and help each other deal. Spike will likely be your best ally there."

Dr. Markson just stared at his lead nurse. He had been astounded at her skill and efforts during that grueling surgery. Not letting anyone give up on the young man. It had been close. They had lost him twice more during the surgery. The last time, he was going to call time of death but she had berated him until he consented to keep trying to revive the man. After several more attempts he had amazingly come back. She had cried saying that she had promised to take care of Blondie and she was not going to let Samtastic die.

She had constantly alternated between calling the patient Samtastic, Blondie and Sam. It was confusing at first but after six hours he had come to accept it and chuckled inside each time. He just had to know her connection to this extraordinary man.

"Heather, you fought so hard for him. How do you know so much about him and these others?" She gave him the cliff notes version of her experiences with them since Monday. He shook his head in wonder thinking this is gonna be very interesting.

* * *

**_Hospital – Private Waiting Room_**

The tension in the waiting room had eased a bit after Heather's announcement and they were still intermingled in small groups talking softly. When the door opened all conversation stopped. They all stood and unknowingly took several steps forward.

The doctor was taken aback. Whoa, Heather had been right. The looks on all the faces screamed 'he is family, we care, we protect'. This was going to be daunting. Heather said not to hold back, nothing but full disclosure would do.

He cleared his throat before beginning firmly "I understand you are family of Sam Braddock." Nods from every single one of them. "I'm Dr. Markson, Sam is under my care. Before I begin, please may I have your names?"

Not something he ever did but he wanted to identify the people Heather had told him about and find out who Greg was because he might need his help according to Heather. They all introduced themselves. Damn that was a lot of military men named Braddock, family profession he thought; much like his own family, doctors for generations.

Markson started "I have both good and bad news. Please bear with me as I explain his condition fully to you." All bodies had tensed when he had said bad news. "Sam is alive but his condition is extremely critical. He is a fighter, which is good because he has a tough road ahead."

"I'm truly sorry it took so long to give you news. Surgery took longer than it would typically because we lost him twice on the table." Gasps, he saw fire flash in two sets of eyes but Greg calmed them down with a simple look, yep Heather was right.

He delved into the bad news "The last time I really didn't think he would make it. The penetrating trauma of the high velocity bullet created a pressure wave which caused damage to his internal organs. Sam's lungs were injured and he experienced significant hemothorax, which was responsible for the massive bleeding."

Dr. Markson had looked to Patch when he said that. He had nodded knowingly but the doctor realized the others didn't know what that was so he explained "A hemothorax is an accumulation of blood in the chest cavity outside of the lungs due to a rupture of the membrane covering the lungs."

The concern on their faces increased even if they didn't fully comprehend the medical jargon. They got the point and it was bad. He noticed that Wordy now had his arm firmly around Jules shoulders.

He stopped a moment to review his notes. Not because he needed to know anything but to allow them time to absorb what he had said. He took a breath and started again "Sam also experienced cardiac tamponade, which was caused by uncontrolled pericardial effusion, which is a buildup of fluid inside the pericardium."

The doctor went on to explain in detail the full extent of Sam's injuries. By the time he was done most of the faces had been white washed and several looked as if their legs might not hold them up. So much for laughing. Heather was wrong on that account but the news he had to impart was truly awful.

Dr. Markson wanted to tell them he would make it but knew he couldn't make promises he might not be able to keep so opted to say "Based on all of this, Sam is still in the fight for his life. But he is strong and has amazed me more than once today. Although I cannot promise you anything I am guardedly hopeful."

He thought to himself, had he not seen first-hand the tenacious strength of this young man in the OR he would have been preparing the family to say their goodbyes. But he was truly hopeful here. Time would tell. "Do you have any questions?"

Jules firmly asked "Can we see him?"

He replied "Typically we only allow one family member to visit in the ICU. Given the extraordinary circumstances, I will allow you to visit him three at a time for a few minutes each. He is still in post op. Once he is moved to ICU I will have one of the nurses take you to the ICU family waiting room."

"I would also like to forewarn you. The sight of him may be disturbing to you. I had to place several chest tubes and he is intubated due to the injury to his lungs and the ten broken ribs. He is in a medically induced coma. We will be monitoring his progress closely but I expect to keep him in that state for at least the next ten to fourteen days given the level of trauma his body has endured both today and on Monday."

Seeing the fatigue in all of them the doctor said "After you all have an opportunity to visit him, I will ask you go home and rest. If things are stable enough tomorrow evening I will authorize up to two people at a time to stay at his bedside at all times. It is against hospital policy but I'm a firm believer that patients benefit from having family close and talking to them even when comatose."

He saw they visibly relaxed when he said they could stay with him beginning tomorrow. Dr. Markson was not a religious man but he prayed to the powers that be this young man pulled through. So many would be shattered if he did not.

* * *

**_Hospital – ICU - Saturday - 2:30 am_**

It was nearing two-thirty am Saturday morning and the group just arrived in the ICU waiting room on the fifth floor. Getting Sam ready to move from post op to ICU had taken longer than expected. The ICU waiting room was much smaller than the one they were in before. It was a good thing no other families were in it becasue there were not even enough chairs for all of them.

The group decided that the Braddock family would be the first ones in to see Sam since several of them had to return to base unable to get more than a twenty-four hours leave. Also the General looked ready to drop; the man really needed some sleep but refused to leave without seeing Samuel first. The JTF2 buddies would be next because Blaze and Winds had been ordered back to base for debriefing on the entire situation. Team One agreed to go last.

Jules secretly wanted to be last. She might be able to finagle staying with him longer. She didn't want him to be alone even though the doctor said no one could stay tonight. She didn't realize that Spike had the exact same thought.

The General, Mark and Erik went first. The General's face turned ashen when he saw the number of tubes and wires attached to Sam. His brother pushed the wheelchair close to the bed then stepped back to give William a moment of privacy with his son.

William had shared with the family what had finally happened between them just before Samuel was shot. The timing of it tore their hearts. Their broken relationship had caused both of them too much pain to far too long but they all had hope they could mend it now.

The General clasped Sam's hand and spoke gently "Sammy, its Dad. I'm here son. I'm with you. Fight son, fight with all your might. You have endured so much, please fight this battle. I am proud of the man you are. I love you. Fight, come back to me son."

His uncles whispered a few encouraging words and then wheeled the General out. They stopped by the waiting room to let the others know they were taking the General to the hotel for rest and if he was up to it would bring him back tomorrow evening. Sam's remaining family visited briefly each whispering much the same words telling him to fight, he was loved and they couldn't wait to see him again before they too left the hospital to join the family at the hotel or return to base.

Blaze, Winds and Patch entered the room together. They had too much experience with Blondie being injured but never had they seen him like this.

Fresh tears entered Patch's eyes as he gently gripped and squeezed Blondie's left arm. "Blondie, it's up to you now. I did all I could little brother. You have so much to live for, you have a place to belong now. Fight for life. It is okay to say hi to Matt. He can help you but you cannot, I repeat, you cannot stay with him. You have to come back to us."

Blaze was so choked up seeing him he was barely able to speak above a whisper "Kid, those bastards can't hurt you anymore. Winds and I took care of them. Please chose to live. I have to go now but will be back as soon as I can. If you aren't awake when I return I will order you to wake up and you will follow my order without question, do you hear me son?" He wanted to gather him in a hug but could not with all the tubes and wires attached.

Winds was at a complete loss of words. The emotional storm raging to strong and deep so he had simply held tightly onto Blondie's hand while the others spoke. The three hugged each other before leaving the room. Patch promised to keep them apprised of Blondie's progress.

They popped into the waiting room to say goodbye. Winds finally found words and said to Team One. "We are officially handing our little brother over to you now. Please take good care of him. We know he can be difficult. Too many unacceptable risks but try please. If you need anything, if he needs anything we are just a call away."

They exchanged numbers, hugged and said goodbye to Blaze and Winds. Patch told them he would be by tomorrow regardless of whether the doctor consented to more visits just before he left too. Team One was now alone in the room.

Greg looked to his team and said "We will be here for Sam. We will help him get through this whatever it takes. He is family and we worked too hard to lose him now."

They all nodded firmly. He then said "Wordy, Ed and Lou you guys go first. Ed and Wordy, you need to head home after. Your families need you too." Ed gave him a look of resistance so he added "Ed you heard the doctor, no visitors until later tonight and that is only if he is doing well enough. Being in this waiting room or being at your home makes no difference to Sam but a great deal of difference to Sophie and Clark."

Ed nodded agreeing. The three headed into Sam's room. Although prepared by the doctor's warning the actual sight was hard to take.

Lou moved up first and stood staring for a few moments not sure exactly what to say. Finally a few encouraging words came to mind and he whispered them to him then stepped back. He was uncomfortable being in this room seeing such a strong man so helpless. It just wasn't right.

Wordy was next and he lifted Sam's hand placing it over his heart and said "Buddy, draw strength. We are here. We will not let you fall and we are holding tightly. You don't have to do this alone. We are here always."

Ed moved near and placed a hand lightly on his shoulder as a small grin crossed his face and said softly "Samo, I order you to live. It is okay to nap for now. You earned it and you need it. This is a good place to nap. But we need you so you can't nap for too long. You have to wake soon. When you get back we are having a rematch on the tactical course and you better match or beat your time or I'm relegating you to the truck. See ya soon buddy."

The three returned to the waiting room to let the others know it was their turn. Ed and Wordy quickly left for home but Lou spoke to Spike "Man, I'll wait here for you. We can leave together."

Spike didn't plan on leaving. He would find a way to stay but didn't want to alert the others to his plan. So he said "Nah man, you look dead on your feet. Go now, I'll catch a ride with Jules or Greg." Lou asked a second time if he was sure and got the same answer so he left the room. Greg, Spike and Jules headed for Sam's room.

The three had pretty much the same reactions the others had to Sam's appearance. Spike stared at the artificial rise and fall of Sam's chest and the tubing in his mouth. It was almost too much to bear but furthered his resolve he was not leaving him. In the bank he had promised him he would hang on and never let go and he intended to do just that as he clasped both his hands around Sam's limp hand.

Greg was standing at the door way. His hand unconsciously rubbing over his head and across his eyes. It was his nervous move. His rookie, the one they had worked so hard to accept and make a part of this family was in dire shape. It hurt too much to see.

He worried what would happen to his team if they lost him. He had told Ed to stay positive but it was so hard to do that looking at him now. He needed to pull himself together for the sake of his team, his family. They would need his guidance to get through this.

Greg slowly walked to Sam "Sam, your team needs you. I need you. You are family. I want you to think about how you felt Monday morning, the happiness. Hold onto that feeling. We will be here, if you need anything all you have to do is ask."

He looked to Spike and Jules and caught a look in each of their eyes. Nothing he said was going to get either of them to leave. So he decided to make it easy on them. "Guys, I'm going to take off now. Get some rest. Holleran said we have the next few days off but we need to return to shift on Tuesday morning. You need to be rested and focused by then."

They both responded "Copy that Boss." as he turned to leave.

At the door he called out without looking back "I know you aren't leaving unless they kick you out. Call me if anything changes." Spike and Jules shared surprised looks and thought 'how the hell does he do that, he always knows, always'.

Spike and Jules settled in. Jules stood near the head of the bed simply stroking Sam's hair. It was one of the few places on his body that wasn't impeded by wires and tubes. Spike sat in the only chair holding his hand. Neither needing to talk, knowing they just had to be there. The steady sounds of the beeps of the monitors and ventilator were the only noises in the room. No nurses bothered to kick them out.

Four am shift change came and the night nurse was entering the room with the day nurse. The day nurse was still processing the information from the previous patient when they walked in. She finished jotting down her last note and looked up at the next patient.

The clipboard clattered to the ground. Startled by the sound Jules and Spike jumped and looked towards the nurse. Tears could be seen in the nurse's eyes as she sadly said "No not again, dear god no."

She wiped her eyes and recovered her clipboard trying hard to get back to her professional demeanor. She cleared her voice and asked the night nurse for the patient's status. They did their pass down and the night nurse left the room.

The nurse addressed them "My name is Lois Clarry, I'll be taking care of Sam today." They instantly recognized the last name and gave her a questioning look. "Yes, I'm related to Sara, she is my granddaughter."

They nodded and Jules thought the world just couldn't get any smaller.

Nurse Clarry then said "I need to do my checks so I will need you to leave the room. I will allow you back in afterwards. Why don't you go grab some food and coffee? I will be about thirty or forty minutes." They nodded and left so she could care for Sam.

They returned to the room thirty-five minutes later. Someone had brought in a second chair and placed a pillow and blanket on each. It was a thoughtful gesture. Most likely nurse Clarry's doing. They sat down and resumed their vigil.

Never wanting Sam to feel alone they took turns sleeping. Both of them talked to Sam about nothing in particular; just saying whatever came to mind so he could hear a friendly voice and know he wasn't alone. Nurse Clarry checked in every thirty minutes and often brought them a fresh cup of coffee.

* * *

**_Hospital – ICU _****_–_****_ Saturday _****_– _****_3:00 pm_**

Near three pm on Saturday, Dr. Markson entered the room. He was not surprised to find two of Sam's teammates sitting vigil. He smiled, good. But he made the pair leave to get some food while he did his exam. He was surprised again by the state of his patient. He was doing far better than he would have ever expected. This man was truly extraordinary.

Nurse Heather had predicted he would do way better than average but he had doubted her. He was now glad he had not taken her up on the bet. Her infectious admiration for this man had the whole surgical team betting on how long it would take him to wake. Something the doctor typically frowned upon. But now he wondered who would win as he realized he might be able to reduce the sedation much, much earlier than he had originally planned.

He was finished with his exam but the pair wasn't back yet and he wanted to tell them personally his latest prognosis. So he took a seat and scrutinized the extraordinary young man in the bed. What was the name Heather called him, that's right 'Samtastic' it fit. It really fit. He smiled broadly, leaned back and relaxed as he waited for Samtastic's friends to return to give them the good news.


	34. Family

**Family**

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Main Suite – Saturday 1 pm_  
**

Mark walked out of William's room rejoining the family in the main suite. He grabbed a cup of coffee and sat with his brothers Erik and Ryan at the table. They looked questioningly at him "He's finally back to sleep, he looks terrible. From the short details he told us last night in the recovery room he and Sam have had a rough time of it. While I was in there, got a call from Yvonne. Her and Natalie's plane was diverted to Germany and they will be delayed. The earliest they can get here is tomorrow, but more likely Monday. I told her we had it covered. She was so relieved to hear we were all here. I promised we wouldn't leave until she arrives."

His brothers sluggishly nodded in response. Due to fatigue and concern, no one was ready to discuss anything heavy just yet. They needed their coffee infusions first. Most of the Braddock men were wrung out. Yesterday had been grueling, most of them had been up for nearly twenty-four hours, some more than that when they had finally gotten to the hotel around four am this morning.

By the time they got the rooms sorted out and taken care of other details it had been close to six when they hit the sack. Most of them barely slept in the past seven hours, plagued with worry. They had all eventually ended up gathered in the suite seeking coffee and the quiet comfort that comes from being surrounded by family.

Zach sauntered over to freshen up his coffee and stopped by the table. He put his arms around Ryan's shoulders and gave him a solid hug as he said "Hey dad, I truly appreciate you contacting my CO early this morning and getting my leave extended. He really wanted me to be part of that training flight. Thanks for making him see this was more important. I totally did not want to leave. Not until we see how Sam is really doing."

His dad simply nodded in response but noted the deep concern in his son's eyes and voice. Zach then looked over to the Commander "Uncle Erik, I know Kyle appreciates your calls on his behalf too."

Kyle overhearing piped in "Yeah, thanks again dad; after seeing Sam, leaving just felt so wrong. Sam needs us all."

He was extremely grateful for his father's intervention. As Kyle had hugged his dad goodbye early this morning just before he had to head out to return to his base, Kyle had completely broken down and started sobbing like a baby in his dad's arms.

After what the doctor explained and seeing Sam attached to all those tubes and wires and the look of his face, covered in hideous bruises and stitches he just couldn't leave. Sam was like superman in his eyes and it hit so hard seeing him like that. His dad had placed a few calls on his behalf, getting his leave extended for a full two weeks.

He took a sip of his coffee and thought, my current CO is just a prick on a power-trip. His CO had only authorized a twenty-four hour leave when Kyle had gotten the call. There was absolutely no reason he should have been denied the week leave he had requested. They were in port and would be for the next month or so with no critical duties to perform.

A small grin appeared as he thought; sometimes there were advantages to having a Commander for a dad. This was the first time he had ever allowed his dad to intervene. But Kyle was so glad his dad was able to swing more leave for him. Sometimes it was nice having a high-ranking officer for your father.

Sometimes it was a real hassle too. He was probably gonna pay for this in some way when he returned but he didn't care. Sam was worth any crap his CO would throw at him. Kyle would never tell his brother or cousins but it was Sam he looked up to the most. There was just something about him.

As Zach finished refilling his coffee and ambled back to where the cousins had congregated on the couches his mind wandered. It wasn't often the guys were all in the same place at the same time. The last time the five of them were together was three years ago just after Kyle had finished basic training.

One or more of the guys were usually missing from family events, while the female cousins were always there without fail. The guys often couldn't get leave or were in another country doing their duty. Wow he thought frowning, the last time the six of us guys were all together was just after Sam finished Special Forces training, before Sam was deployed with his JTF2 unit in Kandahar.

The frown was replaced by a smile as Zach remembered. Damn that was a great time. Sam had brought his best friend Matt along. It was the first time Sam had really let his guard down and enjoyed himself around family. Usually it was very awkward if Sam even bothered to come.

Sam would be somewhat relaxed with his cousins but whenever his dad appeared Sam would stiffen up and all emotion would leave.

But that time, it was different. Sam laughed and joked so much and only slightly stiffened when his dad entered the room. Zach remembered Sam letting him drive his rental truck. He recalled that he had just turned sixteen and gotten his driver's license the week before Sam's party. The three of them, him, Sam and Matt took off for several hours and when they came back they and the truck were covered in mud. Christ that was an amazing time.

The smile disappeared as Zach's thoughts strayed in another direction.

He had always wondered why Sam and Uncle Will's relationship was so different from their relationships with their dads. All their dads could be described as hard men. Hell, the sons probably could be described that way too. It was part of being a military man and came from a deep-rooted sense of duty. But they were all soft when it came to family; that was where it was safe to show their true emotions, no masks needed.

So it really confused Zach when Sam was so different from the rest of them and didn't have a warm relationship with his dad.

It was only last Christmas his brother Adam had explained to him why. Zach had been extremely pissed off and griping to his brother about Sam never coming to the family Christmas get together and that he was so sick of Sam using that stupid lie that he was in the field just to avoid his dad.

Adam had sat him down at the pond and told him about Sara and how that accident had changed Sam profoundly.

Of course he knew Sara's name but he and Kyle were too young to even remember Sara. Adam sharing the story had helped him understand a bit but he still didn't fully grasp why that would affect their relationship so much. As he continued to muse a pang of guilt hit him for accusing Sam of lying about being in the field all those years. How the hell did Sam survive six years straight in the field?

Zach reached a couch and startled Adam when the anger from his last thought had surged in him and he knocked Adam's feet out of the way so he could plop down. "Oww, hey Bro, that hurt. Ya just had to ask, ya didn't have to manhandle me so hard" Adam grouched with fake hurt as he readjusted his position on the couch and threw his legs onto Zach's lap.

"Sorry Bro, was just lost in my thoughts. I didn't realize you were such a pansy though. Getting soft in your old age?" Zach retorted.

That got a chuckle from several of the cousins. Just before Zach went to get more coffee Adam had been grousing that it was only four more years until he turned forty.

He was not happy about that for some reason. Scott had reminded him that he would turn forty a week before him so to shut up about it. The cousins were just kicking back, teasing one another and generally wasting time until they were allowed to visit Sam. They were getting antsy and wanted to leave for the hospital now but their dads had ordered them to stay here, so they stayed.

Zach was about to shove Adam's legs off his lap when there was a knock on the door. They all directed their gaze to Kyle and ordered him with their eyes to get the door; as the youngest of the group he was always forced to be the grunt. He thought 'damn lack of seniority' as he said "Fine I'll get it, you lazy asses".

The knock sounded again and he rolled off the couch and walked to the door. He opened the door and there was a cute woman standing there. He vaguely recognized her as he said "Yes."

"Hi, I thought I'd stop by and check in on the General." Kyle stared a moment longer then it hit him; she was the nurse that told them about Sam last night. He wasn't sure what she meant but he stepped back and waved her into the room.

"Hey guys, the nurse from last night said she is here to check on Uncle Will" Kyle said as he and Heather walked to the couches.

Strict manners training from their mothers had them all standing up by the time Heather had reached them. Scott was the eldest, by a week, and was always their designated spokesman when the cousins were en masse. So he said "Hello ma'am. I didn't catch your name."

Heather was amazed that these men all looked so similar to Sam. This family sure got lucky in the gene pool, especially those expressive eyes set in the hard planes of their rugged faces. Although out of uniform, in normal clothes she could see more differences.

They were each their own man. They each had their own style but they all exuded an air of confidence some might call swagger or cockiness. "My name is Heather Mills" she stammered out before getting a hold of herself and her own confidence reasserting itself.

Scott responded "Nice to meet you Heather. You were the nurse that told us about Sam last night, right?"

She nodded yes.

"I guess I should introduce this motley crew" Scott said gesturing to his cousins. "I am Petty Officer Scott Braddock, Seaman, Kyle Braddock is my brother. This is Warrant Officer Adam Braddock and his brother Corporal Zachary Braddock. Over there is Sergeant Jeffery Braddock. At the table enjoying their coffee are our dads, Major Mark Braddock, Commander Erik Braddock and Colonel Ryan Braddock."

Scott cringed inwardly when he realized he had given their ranks and full names. Damn he was so used to doing military introductions it was an ingrained habit.

Heather just smiled at the formal introductions. "Wow, so let me guess who's whose father" she said with a big grin taking a moment to really look at each one of them logging their names and faces in her mind.

She finally said "I'm guessing that Mark is Jeff's dad, Erik is Scott's and Kyle's dad, and Ryan is Adam's and Zach's dad."

They just stared, she was good, they instantly liked her.

Heather added "Oh and we can't forget that the General is Sam's dad."

"How'd you figure that out?" asked Jeff.

"Easy, I just guessed you all went into the same branch of the military as your dad" she giggled. A curious look appeared on her face as she asked "Are there any more of you?"

They shook their heads no.

Curiosity was replaced by a teasing look when she playfully said "Whew, good. I was beginning to worry that at some point our whole military will be headed by Braddocks?"

They all laughed with her. Each of them had often thought the same thing.

"If you don't mind asking, why are you here to check on Uncle Will?" queried Adam.

Heather answered "He didn't look good last night and I was worried about him. He has been through so much since Tuesday. I was happy to see him and Blondie were just taking the first tentative steps to building a relationship. The General looked so distraught. I thought he might need a little looking after today."

Confused looks crossed their faces and they wondered why she called Sam Blondie.

"How do you know so much?" Scott asked warily given the events with Sam his protectiveness was on high alert.

Heather read the confusion and realized they must not know everything that happened "Because I was here with them all from Tuesday evening through yesterday morning. I provided care for Samtastic in the night so Patch could get some sleep."

Her statement drew the attention of the fathers and the cousins wondered at the use of another nickname. What was up with that?

Mark stood up and walked over with a bemused look on his face "Apparently Will has left some things out of his report to me. Understandable given his state last night. Would you please share with us what you know?"

Heather nodded yes.

Then Mark asked "Would you like to sit here or at the table?"

"The table would be good, but would you mind if I checked on the General first?" He indicated that would be fine, so she went to his room.

Heather was happy to see the General sleeping and even happier when he did not wake when she check his wound, blood pressure and pulse. She checked for fever and was glad to see it was normal. She thought things looked okay physically except he just needed some good sleep. She took one more look at the man and quietly said before leaving the room "Rest now, your son is gonna need you when he wakes."

She walked out and grabbed herself a coffee. All the guys were now sitting at the table. It looked like some military counsel minus the uniforms.

Heather sat down and stated "Might be faster if you tell me what you know and then I can fill in the gaps."

Mark briefed her on what he had been told. Wow, some pretty big gaps. She wondered if it was her place to tell. She took a sip of coffee and made her decision, Sam would need all the help he could get. He had a long road ahead to recover not only from the physical injuries but that guy had suffered so much emotional hurt too.

She started "This is gonna take some time. I was the ER information nurse on Monday evening when Sam arrived via the army helicopter that offered to air evac him from Rouge Park." She then proceeded to tell them every single detail she knew. She took them on a horrifying roller-coaster ride of emotions. Heather was able to read every one as it played across the men's faces as they attentively listened.

Pride showed brightly when she related how Sam saved Sara Clarry, Greg and finally Jules and Frank during his calls with SRU.

Piercing pain and deep admiration was seen when she recited the events that occurred in Central Bank.

Amusement had shown when she described how his SRU team and JTF2 unit had broken the ice and bonded over funny stories of Sam.

Gratitude displayed when she related how those two teams had banded together and all they had done to care for and protect Sam.

Queasiness and anger appeared and she had to stop for a bit when Jeff, Scott and Adam had actually run to the bathroom to vomit when she explained what happened with Donner. Those three had been old enough to remember the accident, Scott and Adam had been 17 and Jeff was 14 at the time.

Anguish could be seen and tears flowed when she told them about how Sam reacted to the suicide note and how Sam had called out for Wordy for help and not his father when they woke him from the sedative.

Admiration for Team One's skills clearly showed when she told them how they had put all the pieces together and figured out how and why Plouffe was using Samtastic.

Joy and hope played across their faces as she described the morning Sam and the General had coffee together.

Pure unadulterated rage was exhibited as she told them what had happened to Blondie during his JTF2 time and what Murphy had done to Sam.

Grief and tears filled their eyes when she told the new details about Matt's death, how Plouffe had set Sam up to kill his best friend.

Profound respect and appreciation for Blondie's JTF2 buddies could be seen when see related the methods they used to help Blondie during his six years with them.

Curiosity showed up when she mentioned 'beauty'

Hysterical laughter ensued for some time when she described how Jules had iced Blaze's rage when he had made the connection to Plouffe.

Intense anxiety clenched their hearts when she told how the doctor had almost declared Sam dead on the table last night.

They were completely and utterly exhausted when Heather finished nearly two hours after starting. No one knew what to say. What had happened to Sam over the years in JTF2 and the events of the past five days were beyond what any one person should ever endure.

Many of them wondered just who they would meet when Sam woke up. Would he just be a shell of a man? Would he have enough strength to rebound? Would he resemble the intense but fun-loving cousin they knew growing up? So many unknowns; they were just glad they were here now.

"Shit, god dammit, Dad, how the hell does someone get away with doing all that in the Army? Shouldn't someone in Sam's chain of command noticed? It scares the fucking hell out of me that something like that happened undetected for so long. We all knew Sam was a target for shit, hell we all have been at one time or another are because of our dad's. But Sam always seemed to get the worst of it because his dad was a General. Seriously how could this happen?" Jeff raged uncontrollably.

He would have continued but Kyle quickly interrupted his rant; knowing that his ranting would just cause pain and not solve anything at the moment. Kyle looked to Heather and asked "So what's up with all these names you keep referring to Sam with? Over the past two hours you have called him Sam, Sammy, Samuel, Samo, Braddock, Blondie, and Samtastic. Does he have split personalities or something?" He gave her a lop-sided grin.

Heather thought that grin was another family trait as she replied "Nah, just everyone's got their favorite name for him. Confused the heck out of me too the first time I heard them, well at least four of them." She had recognized what Kyle was trying to do for Jeff so she shared her memory of asking for the Sam's name when they unloaded him from the helicopter.

They all laughed and some of the tension eased away. Heather thought, gosh they truly care for one another.

Kyle regarded Heather for a moment and thought, what an insightful and caring woman. She's gonna be an amazing wife and mother someday. He hoped she found someone that truly appreciated her.

* * *

**_Lane Home – 1 pm_**

"Dad, Mom wants to know if you want cheddar or Swiss cheese on your sandwich?" Clark called into his parent's room.

Ed had just finished showering and pulled on a pair of comfortable sweat pants. Damn it felt good to be home for a bit. He responded "Either, both sound good." Really both sounded good but he was tired of making decision at the moment so didn't. Pulling his t-shirt on he sat on the edge of the bed.

Clark walked in and sat next to him.

Ed was drained emotionally. The past days had been tough and they still had more ahead. He needed to recharge. He turned his head and looked to his son. Damn he was lucky. He had a great son.

He slung his arm around Clark's shoulders and pulled him close for a hug. "Missed you buddy. Sorry I was gone so much this week. I missed your concert too. How'd it go?"

Clark enjoyed the closeness with his dad. He was getting to an age where most kids start to pull away and he guessed he was too. But he had really missed his dad the past week so he let him hug him for as long has he wanted. He was worried about Sam too and the hug was comforting.

In the past few months, Sam had come over to the house a lot. His dad kept inviting him to dinner. He liked Sam and had started thinking of him as a big brother. Sam was always willing to hang out with him when he came; play a video game, toss a ball around or play street hockey.

Clark finally answered his dad "Missed you to Dad, but I know you were doing something important. The concert was awesome. Everyone played well."

"Guys, lunch is ready" Sophie called from the kitchen.

"Guess we shouldn't keep your mom waiting" Ed said as he stood and tugged his son up with him not releasing him from the hug.

They walked all the way to the kitchen that way. Ed was loath to break contact with his son. Watching Sam and his father struggle so badly had deeply affected him. Ed wondered how he would handle it if he was in the General's shoes. Thank god he was not.

Clark pulled away and sat down at the table. "Thanks mom, this looks great" he said just before he took a huge bite. Speaking with a full mouth "Tastes great too."

Ed watched his teenage son tear into his lunch. It reminded him of what Jules had described when Sam had eaten the lunch they had gotten him. Ed had been shocked when Jules told him Sam actually took the aspirin he had included.

He picked up his own sandwich and noticed Sophie had added both types of cheese.

Sophie smiled at Ed and said "Shelley and I talked last night and we decided to postpone the team picnic indefinitely. We can't have it while Sam is in the hospital. So we will wait until we know when he will be released. Then we will pick a new date."

God, Ed appreciated the way she was talking about Sam; making plans as if she knew for certain he would pull through. Her positive outlook always strengthened him. He smiled at her as he took a bite of his sandwich. Clark was right, it tasted great.

They enjoyed a nice, peaceful lunch full of ordinary conversation. Clark excitedly talked about music and his concert. He shared the latest song he was teaching himself.

Ed marveled at how different his son was from him. But then maybe not as different as he thought; the kid always stepped up and took care of his mom when he couldn't be here. They at least shared that trait.

Sophie's told them all about her latest catering job. How it was so funny when the geese had chased the little boy and he had run and jumped into his dad's arms for protection. But the force of the jump knocked them off balance and they ended up in the lake soaking wet but not hurt. The lunch conversation had been so normal, just exactly what Ed needed to rebalance himself.

They had all finished eating when Ed looked at Sophie and said "You're awesome. Do you know how much I love you?" Then he stood and pulled Sophie into a hug and kissed her passionately. As one hand slid down to her backside he whispered in her ear "Missed you."

"Eeewww do you have to do that in front of me? Get a room Dad. Going to my room to practice now" Clark said as he stood and quickly walked out of the kitchen.

Sophie and Ed just chuckled when Sophie leaned in and whispered amorously "Missed you too. We have a room upstairs, if we want to use it".

Ed's eyes glazed with steamy heat as he smiled and replied seductively "I'm all yours. Lead the way."

* * *

**_Wordsworth Home – 2 pm_**

Wordy was sitting on the floor in the middle of Allie's room holding his little girl with her head on his chest as she cried. "Ssshhh sweetie, shhhh" he crooned wanting to tell her it was all going to be okay, that Sam was going to be okay but he couldn't, wouldn't tell her something that he did not know for certain. So he just rocked her while he held her hoping it comforted her.

Allie had been upset that the picnic had been canceled. She wanted to see everyone but especially Uncle Sam. He wanted to shield his daughters from the pain of the world but sometimes he just couldn't. He tried to lessen it by using softer words like Sam is hurt; that the doctors are helping him; that he needs to sleep. He kept the stark harsh reality of the situation that Sam was fighting for his life; that the doctors had done everything they could now it was up to Sam to live or die; that he was in a coma and on a ventilator to himself. "Shhhh, daddy's here, shhhh sweetie, ssshhh."

Racking his brain for a way to help his little girl he didn't see Shelley come in. He recognized she was there as she knelt down next to them.

"Honey, Allie, I have an idea. Why don't we make Uncle Sam a get well card? You can draw him a picture. I think he would like that." The crying was starting to ebb so Shelley continued "You know how much Uncle Sam likes to color with you, so if you make him a picture he can remember all the fun he has with you when he looks at it."

That got Allie's attention. A small head lifted from its position over her daddy's heart and a little voice said through sniffles "Do you think he would like it?"

"Absolutely" Wordy said. "I could put it up in his room so he can see it when he wakes up from his nap." Wordy surprised himself with that choice of word 'nap'. But then remembered what Ed had said to Sam early this morning. It made him smile.

Allie saw her daddy smile which she took to mean that Sam would be okay. She sniffled a few more times and then crawled out of her daddy's lap and went straight to here coloring table and pulled out a fresh sheet of paper. "What should I draw for him Daddy?" she called out.

He was about to answer when Lilly and Holly came in. Lilly asked "What's Allie doing?"

"She's making a card and drawing a picture for Uncle Sam. When I go see him tonight I'm taking it with me to put up in his room. Do you girls want to make one too?" Wordy asked his daughters.

They nodded their heads yes and joined Allie at the table.

"Daddy do you want to make one too?" Lilly asked.

Wordy nodded and joined his daughters at the table sitting on the floor instead of a chair since their table was so low to the ground. He smiled wondering just what his teammates were going to think when they saw a hand drawn card from him hanging in Sam's room.

Shel stood at the door watching the scene before her. She had lucked out the second time around. Kevin was an incredible man, wonderful husband and great dad. He was manly and strong, a superb protector but also caring. He did so much for the women in his life.

She was constantly amazed at the lengths he would go to connect with his daughters. All the girly things he did to be a real part of their lives. He learned to braid hair, comforted nightmares, watched all the girly movies, played dolls and had tea parties. He had a huge heart and wasn't shy about sharing it. She smiled feeling so blessed.

* * *

**_Parker Home – 3 pm_**

Greg was washing the dishes he had used for lunch; another one all alone. Sometimes it was unbearable. The team wondered why he was always at the barn. He'd never admit it to them but it was because being here reminded him of his failures and the barn was full of his family. Here it was empty and cold; there it was warm and full of life.

He shook his head, man I'm getting maudlin right now. It must be because of everything happening with Sam and his father over the past few days. He saw the lost look in the General's eyes. He could sympathize with the feeling of screwing things up so badly with your kid. He had done it too.

His behavior resulted in his wife divorcing him and leaving with his son Dean. He hadn't seen Dean in so many years. It hurt so much that his son wanted no contact with him, thought he was still that appalling person. He had worked so hard to change himself over the years. Never would he ever touch alcohol again; the price of using it to deal with the stress of the job was too high and cost him too dearly.

As Greg was drying a glass his mind returned to the scene after the General was shot. Sam was struggling to breathe; calling the General dad without realizing it; the General's reaction and Sam testing the word softly once again. Then his response of 'good'; he had said good, not fine or okay. There was hope there. The glass slipped from his hand and shattered on the ground as he remembered Sam falling to the ground and the look of utter shock on Sam's face.

It saddened him to think that just as things looked like they could be mended that life had dealt them another terrible blow. Sam had to pull through; they deserved the opportunity to try. Then his mind turned, if there was hope for the General and his son; maybe, just maybe there was hope from him and Dean. He went to get the broom to clean up the broken glass. Maybe his relationship with Dean was only cracked not shattered. He decided there and then he would keep hope alive in his heart that someday he and Dean would be able to mend their relationship.

For now though, Team One was his family and he would do everything in his power to keep it strong. He should be heading to the hospital to check on Jules and Spike. Force them to go home for some rest so they stayed healthy. He would stay with Sam. He needed to check on Ed, Wordy and Lou too. They were all in need right now. All a bit off kilter with all that had happened over the past five days. He needed to help his family find their feet again.

He threw the broken shards in the trash can and headed for the door. He needed to be there for Sam right now.


	35. Food, Doppelganger, Waking

**Food, Doppelganger, Waking**

* * *

**_Hospital – Cafe - 3:30 pm_****  
**

Spike and Jules were looking at the unappetizing selection of food available in the hospital café. Jules decided that the fresh fruit, well fruit anyways, would be the best option when presented with the other choices. She grabbed an apple and banana from the rack and was heading for the cashier when she saw Lou. He was carrying two large green and orange cloth bags.

Lou was hoping to find them here before they actually spent money on crappy food. He had gone to the ICU to find Spike and the ICU nurse said Spike and Jules had just headed down to the café. He was surprised when the nurse said Jules was here too. Seeing Jules he called out "Hey Jules, wait. Don't bother with those. Got something way better here for you two."

Spike turned at hearing Lou's voice and saw the bags. Instantly he recognized those bags and a huge grin appeared, how he didn't know but he was grateful. "Lou man, buddy, how'd you manage that?" he said as he briskly walked to Lou.

They all met and sat at a large table. "What's in the bags Lou?" Jules asked.

Spike answered "The best food in the world. Man how'd you get this?" he asked again.

Lou replied "I stopped by your house around two today to see how you were doing and see if you wanted to head over here with me. I was surprised when your mom said you never came home last night. I guess I shouldn't have been. So I told her I was coming over here and I would make sure you called her. Do you realize how worried she was? Anyways, I explained to her that Sam was hurt and you must be staying with him. She was so concerned you would have nothing good to eat so she made me wait while she whipped up a small lunch for you. Man her definition of small lunch would feed the entire team."

"She's Italian, what'd ya expect" Spike said with pride in his mother. They pulled out the food, it smelled delicious. As they started to eat and make satisfied sounds they got several envious looks from others in the café who were eating soggy sandwiches or some mystery meat entrée.

They were nearly finished when Greg showed up. "Wow, some care package you got there" Greg said pulling up a chair.

"Spike's mom is a fabulous cook" Jules said swiping up the last bit of marinara sauce from her plate with a piece of fresh homemade bread and savoring the flavor. Hunger sated. "Boss, the doctor showed up about three. He kicked us out until he finishes his exam. He should be done soon."

Just then Ed and Wordy walked up, the ICU nurse had directed them to the café. Ed asked "Any news on Sam?"

"He had a quiet night and day so far" Jules said gently.

"Yeah, no issues, the nurse seemed pleased. Oh man, you won't guess who his nurse is" Spike finished energetically. A home cooked meal from his mom had done a lot to restore him and settle him closer to normal.

Wordy and Ed looked at both of them curiously but Wordy stated what was obvious "You two stayed? Who is his nurse?"

Spike got animated "Remember Sara?" Heads nodded and they shot looks at him like 'could we forget'. "Turns out Sam's nurse is Sara's grandmother. Can you believe it? What are the odds?" The four guys were stunned, truly what were the odds. They sat and talked for a while longer before Spike and Jules packed up the dishes and containers and they all headed up to the ICU.

* * *

**_Hospital – ICU Waiting Room - 4 pm_**

When they entered the ICU waiting room they found several of the Braddocks. Adam, Scott and Jeff were seated in the far corner. Adam stood and said "The nurse said the doctor will be in shortly to give an update."

Spike went directly to Jeff and said "How's the General and did the rest of you already leave? Kyle didn't seem too happy about it last night. He said something about his CO only giving him twenty-four hours."

Jeff noted the fatigued look on Spike thinking he looked like he hadn't slept at all as he responded "Uncle Will is finally sleeping. Dad didn't want to wake him, he needs rest. All the others are at the hotel still. Kyle's and Zach's leaves got extended with a little persuasion. We didn't want to overwhelm the ICU waiting room. I guess you could say we are the recon unit. Our orders are to find out how Sam is and report back."

Spike nodded and asked what he meant by a little persuasion which launched them into a conversation on the advantageous and disadvantageous of being the son of high-ranking officers.

When Jules entered the room she simply chose a chair away from the group and sat down still unable to converse with the look a likes. Her stomach satisfied exhaustion started to get the better of her. She leaned back and half closed her eyes as she waited for word.

Her mind wandered to all the little snippets of banter she and Sam had had recently. His sense of humor was unique, hell he'd called her a sexy sniper chick and lived, Anyone else would be dead where they stood if they tried that. He was one of a kind, special. Her mind then started thinking of his current state and it made her so sad.

Scott noticed Jules sat apart from the rest just like last night. He wondered if she was uncomfortable around so many men. Maybe they intimidated her. That probably wasn't right given that she was the only female SRU officer. But what was it? Why did she ignore them?

He watched her closely. She was thinking about things that pleased her. The emotions clearly played across her face. Then it changed, she now looked distressed and forlorn like something important had been taken away from her. He decided to try and talk with her. Perhaps he could offer some little comfort or maybe lighten her mood.

Jules watched as Scott approached. His stride was so like Sam's. Of them all he looked the most like Sam. They could almost be twins but he was definitely an older version maybe ten years or so she thought. Their hair was the exact same shade of blonde and cut in much the same way. Although Sam's was a bit longer. The way he sat reminded her of Sam too. He was even wearing a green jacket and grey t-shirt almost exactly like the one Sam wore the night they had sat in her Jeep talking and drinking Timmy's after the call involving the cop who beat his wife.

Scott could feel tension all around her so tried to think of something to say to break the ice he settled for "I'm Scott, Scott Braddock. You don't see lady SRU officers often. That's kinda sexy. If I remember correctly your name is Jules. Is that short for Julia?"

He was stunned by her reaction. Jules instantly stood and stared directly at him. She stabbed him with daggers shooting from her eyes, anger pouring out of her. He saw her hands were clenched ready to strike and her lips were tightly pressed together and her face had lost all color.

Christ what had he said that upset her so much? Oh crap tears were forming in her eyes now and her body began to quiver slightly with anger and she was so rigid. Holy hell what did he do? He broke eye contact and looked over to her team searching for help. His eyes landed on the one they called Wordy. "Wordy?" he said in a voice that clearly demanded attention.

Wordy heard his name called and looked over to where it came from and saw Jules. He was on his feet in an instant and positioned himself between the two, mostly to protect Scott, Jules looked ready to strike. He looked at Scott and angrily said "Just what the hell did you say to her?"

That got the attention of everyone in the room. The rest of Team One, with the exception of Greg was instantly planted in front of Scott with looks of protective brothers ready to beat the crap out of someone that hurt their little sister. Greg had promptly taken Jules by the arm and urged her, none too gently, to the other side of the room. He was attempting to get her to relax and calm down.

Scott was dumbfounded as he looked at Jules then the guys in front of him "I just introduced myself, asked her about her name" he stammered out. They asked him exactly what he said and he told them. Dawning hit Team One as grins started to appear and their bodies relaxed.

Adam and Jeff quickly joined Scott. They could see Scott was flustered and that didn't very often. He was always rock solid. "Christ, I'm sorry, what the hell did I do? She looked ready to kill me and also like she saw a ghost or something."

"Man you couldn't have picked a worse thing to say to her right now. I'm surprised you're not out cold already. If she had had a gun on her you would be staring down it" Spike said with humor lacing his words. He then explained that those were almost the same exact words Sam had said to her the first two times they had meet. It was a slight variation but essentially the same thing.

Scott nodded listening to Spike but was looking over at Jules. For a reaction like that there had to be something more, something deeper. Heather had said something about her having a sixth sense with Sam. He really scrutinized her; this bore consideration. Then a thought struck him, hhhmmm could it be? He was going to watch her closely.

Greg was able to calm Jules down after about five minutes. She knew she would need to apologize to Scott for her reaction, but not right now. He had unknowingly hit a raw nerve with a sledge hammer. She herself didn't quite understand her reaction so an apology would need to wait. As she was thinking this over the doctor entered the room. Her thoughts instantly returned to Sam.

They all noticed that Dr. Markson walked in with a huge smile on his face. This was gonna be good news. "Good afternoon. I have some very positive news. Sam has been stable and improving significantly over the last twelve hours. All signs indicate things are going amazingly well. So well, that barring any complications I am now considering reducing the sedation much earlier than expected."

"I expect to remove all but one of the chest tubes in the next day or so. If all goes well the final one will be removed a few days after that. He will remain on ventilation for at least the next three or four days; his lungs still need the time to recover. When I remove it and he successfully breathes on his own I will begin to reduce the sedation. If all goes well he should be awake sometime in the next five days. I can tell you his progress so far has truly astounded me."

Greg asked "What types of complications?"

"There are a few but infection is the biggest worry. An infection of the lungs would be most likely. We will watch closely for that" the doctor replied. "Based on this, I will authorize up to three visitors at a time. The nurses will be instructed that it is okay for you to stay unless they need you to step out for any reason. Once he is off the ventilator he will be moved to a regular room. I will put in standing orders that visitors are allowed 24/7. But please keep in mind Sam will need his rest. And even with this progress I need to remind you that he had incurred serious injuries and it will be a long path to recovery."

Relief washed over everyone. But Ed asked the question all of Team One wanted to know but was afraid to ask "What are his prospects for a full recovery and return to work? Are there any injuries that would prevent that?"

The doctor considered the question for some moments then sighed "I can't really give you a solid answer one way or the other. Yes the injuries will mend given time. It is his lungs I'm most worried about. The damage was bad. Stamina is important in your line of work. Only time will tell if they recover sufficiently. I wish I could be more positive than that but I expect you would want the truth."

Team One did not let the final bit dampen their spirits. Sam was a fighter. He survived too much too often. He thrived when others failed. He would do so again. They would help him recover. And if the worst happened and he could not rejoin the team they would help him build a new life. But that was for later, for now he was doing amazing.

Greg pulled out his phone to give Holleran an update. Ed did the same calling Blaze. Spike called Patch. Jeff called the Major to report Sam's status. The group then sat down and determined a plan so at least one person was with Sam at all times.

While most were doing that Jules pulled Scott aside feeling more in control she needed to apologize so said "I'm sorry, I ..."

Scott interrupted her and said seriously "No need to say anything. I get it. Sam's very important to you." He caught the flash in her eye and thought nail head meet hammer, wow that's intense. But he continued without any pause "My words were too similar to Sam's, hit you wrong. I'm the one ..."

She interrupted him now and said "Yeah you could be his doppelganger, same look, same walk, same words, same grin, same etc. You are even wearing the same jacket he has. It freaked me out." She went on to explain the other ways she found them alike. She ended with "It is really scary how much you two are alike. Most of you look similar, you can see the family connection but this" as she waved her hands in his general direction "this is just too weird, almost like you came from the same parents."

Scott shrugged and said "The jacket, my Aunt Connie gave to us. She gets all the guys the same present every year. The jacket was a gift from several years ago. As for doppelganger, more like he's mine, I'm eight years older."

Then he decided to pull her leg a bit, to make her smile so he switched to a long suffering hurt voice and he said "Yeah as for having the same parents? The guys have teased us over the years at how much we look alike too. Suggesting that we actually have the same father. It might be true. How else would we look so alike?" He sighed deeply like it hurt too much to consider.

Jules mouth dropped open but she quickly closed it at that implication. It was too shocking to think about infidelity like that. "No way" is all she could get out. He shook his head yes and put on a hurt look and frown. She reacted to that by saying "Your fathers are brothers, strange as it may be that you two look so much alike that has to be the reason."

He started saying in a hurt voice "Yeah, well it could be, but then again ..." he couldn't keep it up and he switched to a playful mischievous voice, cocked his head to the side and smiled "... but then again, it could be because Sam's mom Yvonne and my mom Ann are identical twin sisters."

She slugged his arm hard, spun on her heel and stalked out of the waiting room to Sam's room.

Damn that hurt, she hits hard he thought as he roared in laughter. He liked Jules, she was a spitfire. That woman would be a good match for Sam too bad they were team mates that would complicate things for them. He rejoined the group making plans on who and when they would sit with Sam.

* * *

**_Hospital – Sam's Room - 17 Days Later_**

Jules was the lone watcher tonight. She sat in the reclining chair just looking at Sam and letting her mind wander. The team had just got off an eight day rotation and had the next two days off. They had worked the extra days because the other teams had worked so much overtime covering their shifts when they were at the hotel with Sam and at the hospital just after he was shot.

The team had returned to work two weeks ago. It had been strange to go out on calls without Sam. Ed had actually called out for Sam to be Sierra One a few times. The team didn't tease him about it. They all missed Sam and found themselves expecting him to be there sometimes.

Morning workouts were dull, no one joked around. Debriefings were always subdued. They were basically going through the motions. They did their jobs, they continued to protect others but their minds never quite let go of thoughts of Sam. There was a big hole in the team. Greg and Ed were running trials tomorrow for Sam's temporary replacement. No one wanted to do it but it was necessary.

Jules was thinking now about everyone who cared about him. She had gotten to know several of the cousins' well. Those first twelve days she had spent 'watch' time with each of them. She found she liked them, especially Scott and Zach. She had finally forgiven Scott for teasing her. It actually took the Commander and the General to validate that they indeed had married identical twin sisters for her to believe Scott.

At the beginning everyone had talked non-stop to Sam so they learned a lot about each other and Sam. But now it had turned into mostly watching. They would recount their days and a few tidbits here or there but it was mostly quiet.

The first two weeks the Braddock men had taken the largest portion of watch time especially when the team returned to work. But now only Scott and the General remained. The others had to return to their duty stations. Kyle and Zach were the last two to return to duty. Sam's mother and sister had been here for many days. But his mom had taken ill, partly due to the stress and the General insisted they return home and she reluctantly agreed.

Blaze and Winds had only been able to come twice as they were engaged in training with their new unit and were to be deployed soon so that was critical. Patch had returned to work but managed to stop by on a daily basis even if it was just a quick pop in to say hi to Sam. That was easy for him because his work brought him to the hospital on a daily basis. He was usually accompanied by Heather. Those two were cute together she thought.

The General declared himself fit for duty on the fifth day after being shot. You'd never guess he had been shot a short time ago. But the Commander-in-Chief insisted he take a full month to recoup. Jules chuckled at how that had pissed off the General. But then he realized it gave him undivided time to sit with Sam so he relaxed a bit.

Scott had somehow wrangled additional leave. He called in some favor he was owed by the Admiral. Jules didn't quite get it but didn't push for him to explain. He still had eight days before he would have to return.

Jules stood and paced a bit. She walked to Sam and ran her fingers through his hair. It had become routine for her now she didn't even give it a second thought. She blew out a breath and said "Come on Sam, time to wake up from your nap, we need you, we miss you."

Everyone had taken to calling Sam's coma a nap after Wordy shared what Ed had told Sam that first night. She looked over at the wall covered in little girl artwork. Wordy's girls seemed to draw something new every day. She laughed when her gaze landed on the one Wordy had drawn. Between Shel, Sophie and Spike's mom, in the first week the watchers never had to worry about eating hospital food. There was always something delicious either waiting or delivered to them.

But it had been a long seventeen days. They started counting Day 1 as the Sunday after the shooting based on the doctors new prognosis he had given him on that Saturday evening saying Sam should be awake in five days. Plans didn't go exactly like the doctor or they had wanted.

Infection and fever had set in and they had to keep Sam on the ventilator much longer. They had transferred him from the ICU to his own room nine days ago after they had finally successfully removed the ventilator. The first time they tried to remove it eleven days ago, he was not able to regulate his own breathing.

That had scared the crap out of Spike and Adam who were with him at the time. They had to intubate him again. Two days later they tried again and Sam had struggled at first but his breathing had luckily evened out enough that they didn't have to intubate him again. But even now he needed to be on oxygen. Three days ago they were finally able to switch him from the full mask to a nose cannula.

The chest tubes were all gone as were the stitches in his right arm and above the eye. The incision on his chest from surgery to remove the bullet and fix the internal bleeding was healing nicely. His face although still a bit pale was no longer was covered in bruises or abrasions they had healed and disappeared.

He looked peaceful sleeping. The bruising on the rest of his body had almost completely cleared as well only a bit yellowish across his chest. His wrist was no longer swollen and the latest x-ray showed solid progress in the mending of his bones.

However, the scans on his lungs were not quite what anyone wanted. Between the initial damage and the infection it had taken its toll. Dr. Markson was amazed that the group refused to be anything other than positive even with each setback Sam experienced. They had eliminated the sedation medication entirely nine days ago. But it was now Day 17 and Sam still had not woken up.

Jules continued to stroke his hair as she stood by his bed musing.

Scott had come to the hospital tonight because he thought Jules might like some company, at least for a little bit. They got on well and spent most the time sharing stories of Sam. He could tell there was something there by the way she gazed at Sam. But either she didn't know or was unwilling to share her thoughts on that subject.

He stopped just outside and was about to enter the room. He watched Jules through the small window in the door as her words drifted lightly on the air landing in his ears.

Jules stroked Sam's hair as she gazed down at his face, his beautiful face. "Sam please wake up, show me those gorgeous blue eyes. We miss you. I miss you. The days are no fun in the truck. No silly banter. No one calling me a sexy sniper chick. No one to tell me brushing his teeth is more important than eating then giving me his WOW smile. No one to argue with in debriefing. You need to wake now. Please wake up."

She leaned down and kissed his forehead softly and caressed his face. Tears in her eyes when she kissed his lips lightly. She wiped her eyes and whispered "Please I need you. I'm not sure what this is. What it will be? It scares me but I know I need you to live."

Blues eyes fluttered open then claimed brown ones. Deep yearning gently flowed between them as a dry raspy whisper of a voice longingly reached out "Jules."


	36. Day 17 & Allie

**Day 17 &amp; Allie**

* * *

**_Hospital – Outside Sam's Room – Day 17 _****  
**

Scott was rooted in place. He felt the push-pull power of the attraction between Jules and Sam. He was an extremely observant man, a skill that served him well in his job. But even the most clueless person could not mistake the desire that was communicated with one breathy word.

Man, Sammy had it bad for this woman. As glad as he was that Sam was awake he refused to interrupt the two of them in this moment. He quickly turned around and placed himself in front of the door effectively covering the little window affording them privacy.

As he stood there he thought Sam needs a few minutes of quiet before the coming storm. The onslaught of medical staff and visitors once they know he has awakened. Jules and Sam, yeah they were a match for one another. Just like he and his wife Laura.

Jules and Laura were alike in many ways, but where Jules was a spitfire, Laura was calm always able to cool tempers with a quiet word or touch and bring harmony to a situation. They both were petite, Laura only five foot even, and had brown hair but Laura's eyes were blue. They both only had older brothers and lost their moms when they were teenagers.

Laura had been his salvation. He missed her and their nightly calls just didn't cut it he needed to see her now. Especially after he witnessed Sam and Jules. He pulled out his phone and pressed number one on his speed dial "Hello babe, was thinking of you. Sam is awake, I'd love for you two to meet. Why don't you book a flight and join me here. Maybe you could get on the next available one. I still have eight days leave." Scott made plans with his wife for her to join him.

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room_**

Sam was aware of only one thing, Jules. The rest of the world did not exist. He had heard her words begging him to wake. He'd felt her fingers running through his hair, the kiss to his forehead and the soft caress of his face. Then she kissed his lips and told him she needed him to live.

It was so damned hard but he had finally forced his eyes to open. Desire, craving, a hunger so deep surged through him as he stared into those beautiful sable eyes. He had no breath, his throat was arid, knowing he could only get one word out he had called her name.

The way he had said her name shot straight to her heart and soul. Never had she heard her name said with such aching want and need as if life depended on it. All they could do was gaze at each other, eyes bolted in place, unwavering. No words needed. Everything communicated with the eyes.

She had no clue how long they simply looked at each other. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours or even years. Time had no meaning. It was as if they were linked; their souls sheltering each other.

Then the coughing started. First one, but quickly followed by another, rapid fire, unrelenting.

Sam couldn't catch his breath between coughs. The pain in his chest increased with each racking cough. The monitors all started beeping wildly and alarms sounding off. Jules was scrambling for the call button. Scott raced in the room, saw what was going on and pivoted to run for the nurse's station.

Sam was gasping for air between coughs and his lips were tinged blue by the time the doctor and nurses showed up. Jules backed away to let them work. Scott came up next to her and placed his arm around her shoulders. They watched silently as the medical staff worked to help Sam breathe.

The coughing fit was subsiding now. They had replaced the nose cannula with the full mask allowing him to get more oxygen as he gulped air through his mouth. The blue tinge fading away leaving only paleness. They had raised the bed to make breathing easier. Sam lay back, eyes tightly shut as he concentrated on breathing. Mentally pulling on years of training and focusing on sniper breathing to calm his racing heart and lower his blood pressure. The monitors slowly returned to their normal beeps.

Coughing ceased. Sam gradually reopened his eyes and scanned the room. He saw a doctor and two nurses, Jules and Scott. Scott? The doctor was speaking to him. He missed what he said so adjusted his eyes to the doctor and gave him a questioning look.

The doctor seeing the confused look on Sam's face decided to backtrack. "I'm Dr. Markson. I've been taking care of you. Can you tell me your name?"

Not the twenty questions game Sam thought. God he hated this part of waking up in a hospital. It was too hard to breathe to answer. He was afraid he would start coughing again and that hurt too much to repeat. The pain was only now ebbing to a somewhat manageable level. So he motioned with his hand to write. The nurse handed him a pen and her clipboard after flipping the paper to the unused backside.

He gripped the pen and wrote Sam Braddock. He looked at his wrist, wait wasn't it sprained? He clenched his left hand into a fist and rotated the wrist. It didn't hurt, it wasn't swollen, his grip less strong and a little unsteady but no pain. He wrote 'how long have I been out?' and showed it to the doctor.

The doctor had watched Sam test his wrist. Saw the recognition that it had healed then the concern for the amount of time that had passed. Yep, he thought reading what Sam had written. He said "You've been out for quite some time young man. It's been nineteen days total heading into the twentieth day."

Sam blanched at the number of days. Nearly three weeks. Never had he been out that long before. The longest was when he did that cliff diving in ops training and that was just over a week. Man people were gonna be pissed at him for laying around so long.

Then he looked at Scott. What the hell was he doing here? Why the hell does he have his arm around Jules? That little burst of emotion exhausted him. He lay back and closed his eyes. Why couldn't he breathe right? Why was it so difficult? It took so much effort. The doctor was talking to him again.

"What do you remember?" he asked

Damn twenty questions he was too tired to play. Digging down for strength he put pen to paper and wrote 'everything, funeral, Tammy, General shot, EMTs, me shot, by sniper I think, then nothing til now, no more questions, tired, level 9'. All energy spent, his hand dropped to his side as his head lolled to the side and he tried to keep his eyes open.

Jules saw part of what he wrote. Glad that his memory was intact. That was one of the things they worried about. The lack of oxygen when they lost him so many times had worried the doctor and there was a small possibility of brain damage. Thank god he remembered. But he looked so exhausted by the simple act of sitting there and writing a few words. He couldn't keep his eyes open. There was pain etched on his face.

Dr. Markson turned to Jules and Scott. "I need to have you leave the room while I examine Sam."

"Sam, we'll be just outside the door man." Scott said to him and guided Jules from the room.

* * *

**_Hospital – Outside Sam's Room_**

Once outside he said "We better let the others know he is awake. They'll have our heads if we keep it to ourselves much longer." So they pulled out their phones and began notifying the others.

Jules first call was to Greg "Boss, Sam just woke up. The doctor is with him now. He was alert and remembers everything. He is having a very hard time breathing though and is in pain." That last bit of information concerned them both. Greg told her that he would inform the rest of the team and they would be on their way over shortly.

She hung up and slid to the ground with her back against the wall and eyes closed. Waiting had been so hard. Now it was time to see how bad it was and what he needed to do to recover. Jules needed a few moments to regroup as she relived the feelings that surged through her just before Sam had started coughing. This is unknown territory she thought, no idea how to proceed. Damn glad we get a chance to figure it out. A smile played across her face as she thought a single word, Sam.

Scott had called the General. He had been both delighted and concerned and promised to be there as soon as possible. He tasked Scott with calling the rest of the family and Sam's old unit. So he started to dial his dad's number. Maybe he could pass off the chain of communication to a few others, he didn't relish retelling the details of Sam's awakening over and over. He conveniently left out the part between Jules and Sam. That was their private moment not meant to be shared or discussed by others. In the end, his dad agreed to contact his uncles and they would communicate with the cousins.

He just had to call Blaze now. As he started to dial Patch rounded the corner. Must be here for his daily visit Scott thought. He smiled, this was gonna be nice to see. "Patch, good to see ya. I see you gave Heather the slip today." Patch gave him a 'give it a rest' look. Scott and Patch had become friends and harassed one another mercilessly over the past weeks. Scott's favorite target was the burgeoning relationship between Patch and Heather.

"Guess who just woke up?" Scott said and was promptly blown away by the relief and pure joy that engulfed Patch's face. He was damned glad he never teased him with this. He almost had once but Jules punched him hard in the stomach when he suggested it to her. She had called him a daft idiot and a few more colorful things for even thinking of teasing Patch that way. She was absolutely right given Patch's reaction now.

"Really, you're not joking with me are you?" Patch said warily. Scott shook his head, not joking. It was amazing to watch the emotion play out across the man's face. "How's Blondie doing?" Patch asked cautiously. Patch had seen the scans of his lungs and understood things the others didn't.

"Doctor is with him now. Seems to be having a bit of trouble breathing, could just be the result of the coughing fit he had. He was very tired too, wrote level nine."

Concern clouded Patch's face for a moment but cleared it quickly. No reason to worry the others until the doctor finished his exam. Time to celebrate Blondie woke up. The rest could be dealt with later.

Seeing Jules on the floor he bent down and gave her a huge tight hug. Exuberance flooding his voice "Our guy is back. He's back. Any bets on when Blondie will be griping about getting out of here? I better call Blaze and Winds. They'll want to know even if they can't be here. Gotta call Heather too. He's awake. Finally awake."

Jules just stared at him as he started to make the calls and smiled. Boy he babbled like Spike does when he gets excited. Then she thought about his question. Probably wouldn't be long before the complaining began given all the stories she had heard about Sam and hospitals. She would bet three days max.

Within thirty minutes the hall outside Sam's room was filled with all of Team One, Patch, Scott, the General and Heather. The General was pacing back and forth unable to stand still. Not a patient man he was chaffing to see Sam. What was taking the doctor so damned long?

Another fifteen minutes passed but the door finally opened. Dr. Markson exited and was a bit surprised to find them all there. Although he wondered why he was surprised, he shouldn't be. If the others didn't have duty to perform this hallway would be packed to the rafters with Braddocks, JTF2 buddies, SRU teams and hospital staff. This young man had an entire ICU staff, ER staff, Surgery staff and the eighth floor thoracic department nurses cheering for him. He lost count of the inquiries into his health status on a daily basis from them all.

He looked at them as the door closed behind him "First let me say, Sam has indeed awakened from the coma. However, he was in significant pain so I gave him a strong painkiller and he is now sleeping. The nurses are prepping him now to take him to radiology to get a new scans of his lungs."

"Overall his health looks good but he is having some difficulty breathing. Talking is out of the question for the moment as it may trigger a coughing fit. He should be back in his room in about an hour. It is past visiting hours but you all can stay to see him. Please make your visit brief, he needs rest still. Tomorrow I'll check in and review his progress. His lungs are very sensitive right now; please do not engage him in conversation" a thought quickly crossed his mind knowing this group he added "or laughter."

They nodded with knowing smiles and parted so the doctor could pass. The door opened again and the nurses were pushing his bed into the hall. They looked at Sam. He looked the same, like before, but they knew he was actually just napping now no longer in a coma. He was getting better. Team One, Patch and the Braddocks filed into the room to wait. Heather had to return to the surgery department as she was still on shift. Patch agreed to stop by and update her later.

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room_**

Sam was returned in forty minutes. He was still sleeping as the nurses reattached the monitors and left the room. It was a very tight fit with nine people standing in the small private room, almost claustrophobic but no one wanted to leave. They were speaking in soft undertones so as not to disturb Sam's rest as they waited.

Nearly an hour later Spike noticed Sam stirring. He quickly tapped Lou's shoulder as he moved forward toward the bed. That alerted everyone and within a minute the bed was surrounded on three sides with people shoulder touching shoulder looking at Sam.

Sam slowly woke sounds of the incessant beeping getting on his nerves. He thought how the hell are you supposed to rest with that damn noise? Then he sensed he was not alone. He was in a small enclosed space. He felt trapped, surrounded, and vulnerable.

Anxiety crept in and took hold. He mentally shook himself. I'm in a hospital not there. Not there. NOT there. Hear the beeping idiot. Hospital, smell the disinfectant. You are in a hospital. Hate them but better than there any place is better than there. God I don't want to be there.

Dread continued rising as the sense of being surrounded and watched closely increased. Trapping him, surrounding him, watching him writhe and scream at the top of his lungs in pain. Laughing at him as they took turns with the needles had been one of the worst things they did. He was helpless, defenseless and could not stop them. God he didn't want to remember that.

Hospital you are in a damned hospital idiot. YOU ARE NOT THERE. Nightmare thoughts continued filling his head. No not there, hospital, hospital please, not there. He needed to see what was causing his sense of entrapment if he had any hope of quelling the anxiety and stopping the terror that was quickly taking over any rational thought.

Heart racing, he knew he had to open his eyes. But he was terrified of what he might see. Maybe his mind was playing tricks and he was really still there? So very afraid to make it real he kept them shut tight as panic continued to rise.

Everyone was eagerly watching for him to open his eyes but the smiles on their faces started to slip. They saw beads of sweat form on his brow. His body shook ever so slightly and the heart monitors started to beep at an increased pace. Patch realized what was going on. Damn he should have remembered he should have known better.

He quickly stepped back as far as he could get from the bed and immediately ordered the others "Give him space, back away now. Move completely away from him NOW."

Everyone instantly complied understanding it was important by Patch's reaction but not knowing why. Assuming a tone they had not heard him use before one that conveyed a mix of authority, safety, and comfort Patch said "Blondie, you are not there. You are in a hospital. You are not there. Stand down. You are not there. Open your eyes. Stand down."

Spike moved forward and started to reach out to take Sam's hand so he would not feel alone. Patch instantly grabbed him and pulled him away before he could reach it. He shook his head no fervently and frantically whispered. "Do not touch him if you want to live. He in is a fight or flight mode now and he always chooses fight. Trust me, even in his current state he'd snap your neck before you knew what hit you."

Spike stared at him eyes wide open with a look of complete disbelief. Patch was deadly serious.

Patch saw his words had made no impact on Blondie and was getting scared. How do I reach him? He repeated himself "Blondie, stand down. You are not there. Open your eyes." Still no impact.

Jules recognized panic in both Sam and Patch. She stepped closer to Sam but still out of range heeding Patch's warning and said tenderly "Sam, it is Jules. You are with friends. You are with family. I'm here. It's okay. Relax please. You are safe with me. It's Jules. This is real. Look at me please."

Her soothing voice filtered through his panic and his mind accepted what she said. Gathering courage Sam little by little opened his eyes. Erratic heartbeat slowing closer to normal as he registered the faces around him. Family. Jules. I'm not there. Thank god I'm in a god damned hospital. Painful quick panting breaths turned to slower shallow breaths. He felt the adrenalin ebb from his body and the tension retreat slowly as he focused solely on Jules.

After several minutes he began to look at each person in the room trying to read them. Sam read so many different things from tense and aware, compassion, steady concern, full comprehension, alarm, apprehension, and totally freaked out. Damn he felt bad for freaking out Spike. Thank god he saw no pity.

The thing that impacted him the most and allowed the final bit of fear and panic to recede was each of them without reserve looked at him with acceptance not judgement. Taking a few more moments to steady himself he wiped the sweat from his brow. He smiled slightly but they couldn't see that with the oxygen mask over his mouth. Then he cocked his head to the side and lifted his hand to wave hi to them.

Everyone started talking to him at once. They stopped, then all started again. It was hilarious to watch but he didn't dare laugh. It might start the coughing again and he was not going to do that again.

Finally they got their act together and determined the pecking order of who got to speak first. Hugs, back pats and well wishes, glad your back, no more napping allowed, etc. cascaded around him. It felt good, really good. But it exhausted him too. Just sitting there listening exhausted him. Sam didn't like that one bit. Within a short time his eyes kept slipping closed no matter how hard he tried to keep them open.

"Sam it's okay to rest now. I'll be here all night. The guys are going to head out shortly but it's okay for you to rest. I'll be here when you wake in the morning." Jules said softly as she stroked his hair. That sounded so good to Sam. She'll be here all night, she'll be here in the morning was his last thought before slipping off to peaceful sleep.

As soon as Sam was asleep, Spike turned to Patch and said "Explain what just happened please."

Scott interrupted "He doesn't have too. It doesn't matter." He had a suspicion what it was about and loathed to hear the details. It would be too excruciating to hear. Panic like that only comes from intense torture.

Patch looked at them all and said despondently "I should have remembered. I was just so happy he was awake. I forgot. Blondie never shared the full details and I will not tell you what I do know. It's enough to say it has to do with his time as a POW. Just know it is not PTSD. The two other times it happened were very similar to this. A combination of pain meds muddling his thinking, a very small room and Blondie being surrounded by people."

His tone turned severe and firmly stated "I'm completely, utterly, absolutely serious about not approaching him when he is like that. The last time this happened an orderly was stupid enough to lay a hand on Blondie's shoulder after I told him not to touch him. Blondie broke the man's arm, dislocated his shoulder and nearly choked him to death before we could restrain him and he was in worse physical shape than he is now when that happened."

Team One's reactions were a mixed bag to this statement but most seemed shocked. But not the General, Scott or Ed they each responded at the same time "Special forces training." They looked at each other and nodded.

The group stayed a while longer; each staying long enough to satisfy their need to know that Sam was sleeping soundly. They left focusing on the cocky tilt of his head as he waved hi to them. God it was good he came back to them. As they left they told Jules that they would be back in the morning and that she should try to get some sleep too.

Alone with Sam now she returned to his bedside and brushed her hand over his head. She leaned down and whispered in his ear "You intrigue me. You are a complicated man. You make me feel things I have never felt before. I think we are in for an interesting ride. It won't be easy but it will be worth it. See you in the morning Sam." Then she lightly kissed his cheek goodnight and settled into the recliner and fell into the first sound sleep she had had in three weeks.

In the wee hours of the morning Sam awoke. He turned his head to find Jules sound asleep in the chair. Pain had awoken him but he decided to wait a bit to call the nurse in. He didn't want to wake Jules. She looked so peaceful. He noted the dark circles under her eyes. She needed rest. He wondered how much she had slept in the past weeks. Didn't look like much. He enjoyed just gazing at her. He felt like a school boy with a crush. But this was more than that wasn't it?

Sam hoped he correctly read in her eyes what he thought he saw and it wasn't a figment of the pain meds. They made thinking hard and he sometimes got confused taking them. One of the reasons he avoid them was he hated not being clear headed. It was too dangerous for him and others when he was not clear headed. He did hear her though, he is sure of that. She did kiss him, twice, once on the forehead and once on the lips. She was stroking his hair, god that felt good.

This was going to be complicated. They were team mates. Not allowed to have a relationship. Could he give up the team to be with her? Would she give up the team to be with him? The team was their family. Could he risk it for Jules?

Pain finally getting more than he could handle he pushed the call button. As he waited the answer to his question came to him. It was a resounding YES. He would risk everything for a chance at life with Jules.

He was startled when the night nurse quietly said "Sam, what do you need?"

Sam reached for the pen and paper from the table next to his bed and wrote 'pain meds'. She was gone and back in less than two minutes. She saw the deep edges of intense pain around his eyes. Why did he wait so long she wondered? He would heal faster if his body didn't have to deal with pain too.

"I'll talk to the doctor tomorrow. Let's see if we can get you on one of those pain med pumps so you can self-administer smaller doses as you need them. It will keep you from going to extremes and you'll feel less out of it with the smaller doses."

Sam simply nodded as drug induced sleep quickly overtook him relieving the pain.

* * *

**_Hospital – Sam's Room – Day 1 of Recovery _****_– _****_Morning _**

Sam felt the warmth of a very small hand holding his hand as he woke. As he blinked his eyes open he saw a delightful sight. Standing on a chair next to his bed holding his hand and staring at him with sparkling eyes and a lovely smile was little Allie.

"Daddy, Uncle Sam is awake. He's done napping now. Do you think he wants to color with me? Did you see the pictures I drew for you Uncle Sam? Did they make you happy?" she pointed to the wall.

He turned to look. It was entirely covered in colorful drawings. He smiled and nodded yes.


	37. Control & the Order

**Control &amp; The Order**

* * *

**_Hospital – Day 1 Recovery – Sam's Room _****_– _****_8 am_**

Wordy walked into view and said "Allie, Uncle Sam just woke up. He can color later but not right now sweetie." He picked her up and settled her on his hip. "Besides, we have to go, your mom is waiting for us. I promised her we would be just a few minutes. Give Uncle Sam a hug goodbye." He leaned close so Allie could give Sam a sort of hug around the neck. Then he put her down on the floor. "Mom is right outside the door, go wait with her, I'll be right out."

Wordy and Sam watched as Allie waved goodbye then skipped happily from the room. Wordy turned back to Sam "I hope you don't mind. I had to bring her. She has been so worried and constantly begged to see you."

Sam picked up the pen and paper. 'What a nice way to wake up. Thank you for bringing her. Tell her I can't wait to color with her'. He smiled as he turned the paper to show Wordy what he wrote. Wordy saw the smile, they had replaced the mask with the nose cannula sometime during the night.

"I'll be back later. We just stopped by on our way to the movies. The theatre is playing a special double feature of Sleeping Beauty and Beauty and the Beast today only. Promised to take the girls. Oh and Jules just left, said she would be back later tonight. The General will be here later this morning. The rest of the guys will be in sometime in the afternoon, we didn't want to overwhelm you with visitors first thing this morning."

Sam nodded appreciating the thought and waved as Wordy left the room.

Alone in the room he laid his head back and took stock. He looked at his right arm. Stitches gone, new scar. He ran his hand gently above his right eye, gone too. He wondered how bad the scar was, if it was visible. He looked down at his chest and pulled the gown away to view the almost healed incision. Oh well what's one more scar at this point.

A funny thought struck him, he could star in a movie called Sleeping Beast. He was pretty messed up and Jules did kiss him just before he woke up. Still looking at the scars on his chest he noticed the bruising is almost gone. All things considered he felt fairly good but very weak.

He didn't like feeling weak and his damned breathing was still labored. My lungs must have been hit hard he thought. God he needed a shower and to brush his teeth. His mouth felt like cotton and tasted like old leather. He hit the call button.

He was more than surprised the nurse agreed to the shower but with some conditions. In the past he usually had to fight tooth and nail with nurses about it until Patch intervened or he simply ignored them and did it anyway or left AMA. Her condition was he was not allowed to shower unaccompanied.

An orderly had helped him walk to the shower and sit down on one of those stupid shower stools due to his weakened state. He was completely out of breath by the time he reached it and legs were like jelly. The orderly stood close by in case Sam faltered.

Which unfortunately he did, He nearly passed out when the water hit his face. When the world came back into focus the orderly was holding him upright in the shower. It was damned embarrassing but overall worth it to shower.

When he was finished brushing his teeth he was happy to see they had a pair of his sweat pants and one of his old loose t-shirt for him to wear instead of the hospital gown. Someone must have brought those for him. It felt better to be in his own clothes. He needed help to get the pants on.

But refused help with the shirt. He could get his own damned shirt on he thought fiercely. Getting the shirt on was painful and slow but at least his could raise his arms above his head without help and he was allowed to do it by himself. The soaked orderly just waited patiently for him to finish. He was surprised by this too.

This was a strange hospital. Usually they controlled everything forced him to do things their way on their time. By the time he was helped back into bed he was utterly exhausted and the pain level was back to needing meds but he was in a good mood.

As the orderly finished reattaching his oxygen from the portable tank to the wall outlet the nurse entered the room with small machine she attached to the rolling IV pole. "Good morning Sam. Dr. Markson ordered a self-administering medication pump for you."

She first reattached his IV line she had removed for his shower. Then she attached the pump line to the IV line. The nurse explained to him how to use it and how it was locked to certain dosages over a set period of time. She cautioned him to not let it go to long in between doses; he would get out of here faster if he kept the pain under control.

The nurse finished saying "So give it a try now, just push this button to release the dose. All that moving with your shower and dressing had to hurt. Also remember to let me know if it doesn't bring the pain to a manageable level. The doctor ordered the dosage set very low and frequent but if you need more I am authorized to give you a boost."

Sam pushed the button. He had never had one of these before. He felt more secure being in control of the meds. He relaxed a bit as the small amount of meds entered his system, just enough to take the edge off. He gave her a genuine smile and thumbs up as a form of thanks and closed his eyes needing to sleep.

Heather and Patch had been so right the nurse thought as she left the room. She recalled the hastily called meeting early this morning between the eigth floor nursing staff, Patch, the General, Heather, Dr. Markson and Dr. Fraser. Patch had insisted on some things that were way out of protocol.

Dr. Markson was resistant at first. Patch said that Blondie would do better, heal faster with some control and would be less likely to leave AMA if he wasn't fighting the system. The General firmly backed Patch's position and told them that Samuel was irrational when it came to hospitals so if they wanted him to stay and receive proper care they would follow his recommendations. Dr. Markson had finally agreed after Dr. Fraser explained Sam's condition when he left the ICU AMA the morning after the gang war call.

The main rule they needed to follow was to allow Sam as much control and freedom to move about as safely possible, do things at his pace and by himself. To find safe compromises if necessary in order to accommodate to his requests. To allow him to wear his own clothing and dictate what and when he ate among other things.

She smiled recalling that the pump had been her idea and Patch had hugged her when she suggested it. She told them about this morning and that she could tell he hated asking for pain meds and would wait until he could no longer manage it. With the pump he could manage his pain without having to appear weak to others by having to ask for them. She giggled when she remembered what Heather had said, that they were going to add that to the pain management section of the _Proper Care and Feeding of Samtastic_ manual.

* * *

**_Hospital – Sam's Room – 11 am_**

Sam woke again knowing someone was in the room. He looked to the chair and his body automatically stiffened. He mentally chided himself and forced himself to relax. Would that ever stop? Probably not he realized. His dad was smiling at him. "Good to see you son" the General said as he rose and ambled towards the bed.

Sam smiled back at him. Hoping it wouldn't start a coughing fit Sam softly and carefully said between breaths "Good … to … see … you … dad."

The General leaned down and they wrapped arms around each other and hugged. Years of sorrow, mistrust, hurt and anger started to melt away as they held on. The General finally released him and pulled the chair close. Reconciliation and rebuilding started. It would be slow and missteps were highly likely given their stubborn natures and ingrained behaviors. But for now it was good.

The General did all of the talking. Sam responded with written words, hand signs and nods as they quietly discussed many things. The General shared all that had happened in the past weeks including what happened in the church after he was shot. How all his uncles and cousins had shown up and stayed watching and talking to him for weeks. That one surprised the hell out of Sam and explained why Scott was here. He went on to tell him how his cousins had forged some friendships with his SRU team members.

Looking at his watch and realizing a full hour had passed and Samuel was looking rather drained, eyes blinking closed more often the General ended with "So Corporal Merrill's court martial has been scheduled in six weeks. You don't have to attend but if you want to I'll make arrangements."

"Also your mother and I would like you to come home for a time once you are released from the hospital before you start rehab. Think on it, no need to answer now. You look like you could do with a rest. I'm going to grab something to eat while you get some shut eye. I'll be by later tonight." He leaned down and hugged Samuel again then left the room.

Sam was considering all the General had said as he dosed himself and closed his eyes. It would feel awkward being home. He hadn't spent more than one night there in the past seven years. That one night was the night he returned from Kandahar after Matt's death. The night he asked his dad to contact Commander Holleran to see if there was a place in the SRU for him.

His dad had not liked it one bit and they had argued long and loudly. The argument ended with the General yelling at him, telling him he should remain in the military where he could make a real difference and Sam storming to his room. It had angered Sam so much he left early the next morning without talking to his father. But his dad had made the call, thank god he made that call he thought as he slipped off to sleep.

* * *

**_Hospital – Sam's Room – 3 pm_**

Sam woke needing to use the facilities badly. He was alone thank goodness. He sat up and swung his legs off the bed. He removed the oxygen and pushed himself to a standing position. He grabbed the rolling pole for support and because it had to go with him and slowly started toward the bathroom. He had finished and was making his way slowly back.

He was dizzy from lack of air, sweat beading on his forehead from exertion and legs so shaky. He made it two steps past the doorway of the bathroom before his legs started to give way. He was so spent not enough energy to make it to the bed. Before he hit the ground strong arms caught him.

Sam looked up through fuzzy eyes and saw Ed and Scott on either side of him. They helped him back to bed and got him situated putting the oxygen back on. Neither one said a single word and did not berate him for being an idiot for doing it without assistance.

He avoided looking at them. He was embarrassed, he hurt, he was pissed and he hated feeling so weak. Fortunately he didn't have to show further weakness. Sam reached for the button under his covers and undetected dosed himself. The small amount of control that offered soothed his frayed nerves.

Ed and Scott both read Sam's body language as they helped put him back into bed. They knew he was beating himself up over needing help for such a short distance. They thought, give yourself a break kid, you've been out for nearly three weeks. What did you expect? But they remained silent to allow him time to collect his thoughts.

After a time Scott piped up trying to lighten Sam's mood "Hey twin, you're not gonna believe how stupid I was." He then animatedly told what happened with Jules in the ICU waiting room. Scott was happy Sam laughed with him and Ed but was a bit concerned when a small coughing fit ensued. Sam seemed to handle it okay. It must not hurt too bad he thought.

Thank god he had dosed himself Sam thought, laughing and coughing fucking hurt.

Scott continued "Jules a spitfire Sam. I really like her. Gonna take an exceptional guy to win her over. No one ordinary will do for her. By the way, never got to tell you. I married Laura. She's on her way here. I wanted her to finally meet you now that she is safely married to me. Wonder if she is gonna freak as much as Jules did when she sees my doppelganger."

Ed chimed in "Just hope she doesn't wish she had married the younger better version." Sam shook his head at the comment.

"Why do ya think I just said she gets to meet him now that she is safely married to me? I may be stupid but I'm not that stupid" Scott quickly rejoined but only he and Ed laughed.

Ed noticed Sam had a tight look and did not laugh. Then he remembered what the doctor had said about making him laugh, as bad as talking. So he launched into a simple, dry story about Clark and the song he was teaching himself. A little later Scott excused himself to head to the airport to pick up his wife.

When it was just the two of them Ed said "You doing okay? Looks like it hurts and you are having trouble breathing. Anything you need Samo?"

Sam wrote 'ok, no'.

With a cheshire cat grin Ed said "Good thing you said ok. I know what fine means now. We're gonna have to talk if you tell me you are fine."

Sam stared at him, Who told? He was gonna kill them. Damn no hiding now.

Ed was watching his reaction "You can blame Winds. But really you can be honest with me too. I understand what it is like. We all do. Maybe not to the extent you do. But you can't tell me that each one is tough regardless of how many. I know. It costs us each time. I will be here if you ever need to talk. About anything. Understand?"

Sam was still somewhat unsure but nodded yes.

Just then Sarge, Wordy, Lou and Spike loudly entered the room dragging chairs with them. Lou and Spike arguing over some TV show characters. Lou thought the love relationship between the two characters was contrived and had no place in the show. While Spike thought it fit perfectly and wanted to see more of it. They agreed to disagree, liking the show overall. They all settled into the chairs and said hello to Sam.

The guys talked sports and general topics for a long time. Sam only listened. He was enjoying the bit of normalcy hanging out with the guys. Well as normal as he could get hanging out in a hospital. He just wished it was easier to breath. It was taking a lot of physical effort to move air in and out and was wearing him out.

Then the guys started discussing some of the calls they had recently. Sam started growing agitated the more they talked about work. Greg saw the change in Sam and deftly steered the conversation back to non-work topics. He wondered what was at the root of that of his agitation.

Dr. Markson showed up around four-thirty and kicked everyone out while he examined Sam. Looking at the output report from the pump he said "So I'm glad to see you are using the pain meds. Is the dosage sufficient to cover your pain?"

Sam answered honestly nodding yes and wrote 'manageable'.

"Based on your most recent scans, I will be sending in a pulmonologist tomorrow. You have some real work ahead of you. It's going to be painful and exhausting work. So keep up on the meds and it will go easier. If it gets too much and you need either a boost or dosage upped I expect you to tell me. Understood?"

Another nod yes but he thought, why do I need a lung doctor? I know it's not good but is it really that bad?

"Based on the pulmonologist's findings tomorrow we will put together a plan to determine when you can get out of here. It really depends on how quickly we can wean you from the oxygen. It should be okay to talk now, but take it slow. A little coughing is actually good for your lungs but not coughing like yesterday. According to Patch you know your limits, I'm asking you to stay within them to speed your recovery. Do you have any questions for me?" Dr. Markson concluded.

Only one thing mattered to Sam at the moment, the source of his agitation when the guys were discussing work. His one fear. He slowly, one word at a time between breaths he got out "Will .. they … heal … enough … can … I … get … back … to … work?"

Dr. Markson faced him squarely and replied "Truthfully, I'm inclined to tell someone in your condition to prepare to have to change careers. I do not know if your lungs will ever recover enough to maintain the stamina you need for your job. I'm sorry I can't offer you assurances or the words you want to hear. I will help you as best I can but reality is tough to change and the scans show significant damage. Only time will tell."

Sam was floored. He knew it was bad. He just didn't think it was this bad. Sam grabbed the pen and paper from the tabled and quickly wrote then showed it to the doctor.

"Are you sure?" Dr. Markson asked.

Sam nodded emphatically yes.

Seeing his face pale Markson asked "Are you okay?"

With no emotion, in shock, on autopilot to cover his real feelings Sam spoke "Fine."

Feeling bad he had to be so blunt with this young officer Dr. Markson turned and quickly left the room closing the door behind him.

* * *

**_Hospital – Outside Sam's Room – 5 pm_**

Dr. Markson addressed the group "Sam has requested no visitors at all and you will honor his wishes."

Stunned faces stared at the doctor.

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room – 5 pm_**

Sam pressed the button again. He rolled to his side and curled into a tight ball his arms around his knees holding them to his chest. It hurt his ribs like hell in that position but he just didn't care anymore. Hot tears silently rolled from his eyes.

Why did bad shit always happen to him? Was he such a bad person that he deserved it? He had killed so many. Maybe he did deserve it. Why does everything he loves get taken away? He couldn't live like this.

* * *

**_Hospital – Outside Sam's Room – 5:01 pm_**

"Why the hell doesn't he want visitors?" Ed shouted.

"Lower your voice, there are other patients. I had some hard news for him to take" and he told them what he had said to Sam. "I'm sure he just needs time alone to come to terms with it."

The guys were dumbstruck to hear the prognosis and more than a little worried Sam wanted to be alone.

Looking at the faces wanting to reassure them the doctor said "Just give him time alone. It's tough news but he said he is fine."

Ed, Wordy and Greg picked up the word.

Greg asked "Is fine your word or did Sam actually say he was fine?" nervous to know the answer. Spike and Lou confused by Greg's question. But if he asked the answer must be important.

"He said fine ..."

The doctor did not get to finish as Ed stormed passed him into Sam's room closely followed by Greg, Wordy and a confused Spike and Lou.

* * *

** _Hospital – Inside Sam's Room – 5:02 pm_**

"Braddock you are going to be OKAY. And then you will move to GOOD. That's an ORDER! Do you hear me?" Ed bellowed so loudly it reverberated in the small room.


	38. Wait, Listen, Challenge

**Wait, Listen, Challenge**

* * *

**_Hospital _****_– _****_Outside Sam's Room _****_– _****_5:03 pm_****  
**

Jules had been approaching Sam's room when she saw the rest of the team storm into it. She ran at full speed wondering what had happened. She ran around a stunned Dr. Markson and into the room passing Lou. She came to a dead stop next to Spike.

Dr. Markson stood taken aback for several moments by their action and just started to move as Jules ran past him into the room. What the hell were they doing? His patient had demanded privacy and he would make sure he got it, wasn't he supposed to allow Sam control. Why were they ignoring what Sam requested?

He stopped in his tracks at Mr. Lane's loud outburst. Jeezus that man was loud. Just what the hell did he mean by it? He started to move forward again only a few steps outside the room.

* * *

**_Hospital _****_– _****_Sam's Room _****_– _****_5:03 pm_**

Lou had stopped just inside the door as Jules ran past him. He was startled by Ed's yell as he looked at Sam. He instantly pivoted back to the door. He saw the doctor about to enter and gently but firmly pushed the man from the room as he said "Dr. Markson, Sam needs his team now, we have it covered."

Then he closed the door and locked it, effectively barring anyone else from entering the room. Lou refused to allow anyone else see Sam in this vulnerable state. His protectiveness for his teammate in high gear. It was bad enough they had to witness it. He steeled himself and turned back toward Sam and moved to stand next to Jules.

Sam was curled in a fetal position on the bed. Tears streaming down his face. A completely desolate look on his face. No sounds emitted. He had no reaction to Ed's words even though the entire hospital probably heard them. Sam hadn't even flinched.

The six of them looked to each other. Holy hell, what were they going to do? Sam clearly needed help but no one knew what to do.

Jules quickly turned her head away unable to bear the hopelessness she saw in his eyes.

Greg tried to reach him calmly saying "Sam, Sam, can you look at me?"

No response.

Spike's unsure voice called out "Hey buddy, it's going to be okay, talk to us."

No response.

Wordy moved forward, afraid to touch him, not wanting to spook an ex-soldier after Patch's warning last night. He squatted down lowering his face level with Sam's trying to make eye contact but they were unfocused and unseeing even though they were open. He whispered "Sam, what do you need?"

No response, not even a blink.

* * *

**_[Army Base Helopad] &amp; Hospital – Sam's Room _****_–_****_ 5:10 pm_**

After watching for a few minutes, knowing they were completely out of their depth with this Ed walked to the far corner of the room away from Sam. He pulled out his phone and quickly dialed a number. After four rings it was answered.

_["Blain, here."]_

Ed's hard edged voice urgently said "Blaze, how do we get through to Sam?"

_["What?" Blaze replied confused at the strange question but hearing the urgency.]_

"We need your help man. Sam is F.I.N.E. How do we get to him?" Ed said instantly.

_[Crap, what the hell happened? Knowing it was bad if Blondie was fine and Ed was calling for help. Needing to understand the circumstance Blaze quickly said "Explain what happened."]_

"The doctor just told Sam that his lungs will not heal enough to return to work. Sam requested no visitors but told the doctor he was fine. We pushed past the doctor into his room and found Sam curled in a tight ball arms locked around his knees. His eyes are open but unfocused and he is completely unresponsive, almost catatonic." Ed explained quickly.

_["Aw shit Blondie, no not this, don't do it" he said choked with emotion. But realizing he needed to help he pulled himself together cleared his throat and stated firmly "You need to stay with him. Do not under any circumstances leave him alone. I repeat do not leave him alone for even a second. This has happened only once before. Matt had to sit with him for three weeks."]_

Not liking where his thoughts went, remembering what Patch had said in the waiting room the night of the gang war. Something about Matt sitting with Sam for three weeks to keep him from eating a bullet. Ed angrily interrupted "Blaze, are you saying what I think you are saying?"

_["Yes" he stated flatly.]_

"God damn it. Would he really?" Ed raged then asked in disbelief. The team was staring at him now.

_[Blaze responded with raw tightly held emotion "The night Matt found him just like that he sat with him for several hours waiting for us to return. All the while Blondie never moved with his eyes wide open. Worried about him but not realizing the severity of his state Matt finally decided to come find us. Luckily we had just arrived and we were right outside. We almost lost Blondie because he was alone for less than two fucking minutes. Thank god Matt was fast enough to save him."]_

_[Blaze took several ragged breaths trying to regain control as he shared his memory. "In those few seconds Matt left him alone, Blondie had found my reserve gun. I kept hidden in my bunk. Didn't think anyone knew about it. When Matt and I walked back into the room Blondie was seated on the floor by my bunk and had the gun pressed firmly and directly to his heart. He had the safety off and his finger was on the damned trigger just about to squeeze when Matt dove at him and knocked it away. The bullet went into the wall."]_

The rest of the teams' apprehension was increasing exponentially watching as Ed's whole body tensed and a hard look locked into place as he listened to what Blaze was telling him. What the hell was Blaze saying?

_[Rage at all the unfairness and crap life had thrown at Blondie and that he was unable to be there to help Blaze's voice changed to anger "God damn it, I can't get there. We are deploying now, just waiting for the pilot. Never leave him even if you think it is a totally secure environment. Leaving him alone was Matt's only mistake and we nearly lost him. Remember, Blondie is Special Forces trained and resourceful. He knows too damned many ways to kill and die that only take seconds."]_

Ed's mind was racing through everything he has learned about Sam in the past weeks searching for anything that might help. "Can Patch help?" Ed asked hopefully.

_["Patch does physical wounds, this freaks him out. He doesn't handle it well; scares the shit out of him and he is too emotional to be of help when Blondie is like this. Remember his panic in the ravine?" Blaze responded.]_

Ed didn't remember he wasn't focused on Patch at the ravine so he asked "What did Matt do? What worked then? What brought him back?" Ed was desperate for guidance on how to proceed.

_[The line was silent as Blaze brought forward those memories. They hit him like a ton of bricks. He hated those memories with a passion. Shit this was not going to be easy for them. He hoped at least one of them was strong enough to do it. _

_Blaze never understood how Matt had managed. He had to leave the room. Everyone except Matt had left unable to deal with it. It was too gut wrenching, but it did work. _

_"Before I tell you I need to know, how bad is it physically? Is there even the slightest chance of full recovery? If the answer is yes then what Matt did might work. If no I'm at a total loss on how to proceed" Blaze said hoping there was a tiny sliver of hope.]_

"The doctor said that the scans showed significant damage and he should prepare for a change in career. He told him that only time would tell and that he didn't know if they would ever recover enough" Ed answered wondering why that would make a difference.

_[A flicker of optimism laced Blaze's words spoke "Based on that you have a small hook to try and drag him back with. It is going to be excruciating painful to do what Matt did. I could not bear it and had to leave. If anyone on your team can do it, I think it will be you. I do not think the others can handle it. Their emotions show too plainly on their faces."]_

"What do I need to do?" Ed questioned with trepidation. He had heard the hope in his voice but dreaded what his words implied. What the hell did Matt do that Blaze couldn't handle? That man was solid.

_[It sounds easy but it is not. You need to wait, listen then challenge him.]_

What the hell Ed thought? What was so painful about that? Confused, Ed asked "What do you mean wait, listen, challenge? Why is that not easy?"

The team was getting antsy they wanted to know what was being said. Ed's side of the conversation made no sense. What was Blaze saying? They needed to do something now. Sam had not moved a muscle and tears were still falling. Concern showed readily on their faces as they looked at Ed. Ed noted their concern but focused on what Blaze was saying.

_[Blaze explained "Wait with him. Wait until he is ready to talk. He will talk eventually but you have to give him time to process inside first. Don't push him to talk, just wait until he is ready. With Matt it took three weeks before Blondie was ready to talk. You cannot leave him alone during this time. He is too vulnerable and that is when he is likely to take actions none of us want."]_

"Do you think it will take that long this time?" Ed asked.

_["I have no idea how long it will take him this time. But when he starts to talk just listen to him. Let him pour out his fears and his agony. Listen impassively. Do not judge. Do not pity. Do not try to rationalize what he says. Just accept. I'm praying you can bear his pain. That you will not allow the things you hear to change your view of him. That you can just accept him as a man, one who has endured and come out stronger not someone who is damaged and is to be pitied."_

The line went silent for several long moments. Ed could hear Blaze breathing heavily. It sounded like he was trying to calm and collect himself. He was about to say something when Blaze exhaled deeply then started to talk again.

_[Exhaling deeply Blaze said "This is very important. You cannot show emotion, especially pity; that will send him over the edge. That is why I had to leave. The part I could not bear, only Matt was strong enough among us to listen. You need to be very strong to hear the excruciating pain that comes out and not react. When he started talking about what those bastards did to him with the needles he saw my face and read the horror at the atrocity and pity I was feeling for him. He went berserk and tried to grab my knife, screaming he wanted to die."]_

Ed blanched. Could he do this he wondered? Could he hear Sam tell how he was tortured and not show emotion? He resolved that he had no other choice. Sam was important to them and if that is the only way to bring him back he would do it. So he said simply "I will do what is necessary to help Sam. I will listen. What do you mean by challenge him?"

_[Calm again more positive inflection in his words Blaze instructed "When he is done talking he will ask a question. With Matt, Blondie talked for five hours straight. When he was done he asked Matt why he couldn't just die. That finally threw Matt for a loop. He was at a loss for words, what to say. I had finally schooled my emotions and come back in the room just in time to hear his question. That's when I threw out a challenge to him."]_

"How did you challenge him?"

_["I challenged him to live. Made him see that if he died the bastards had won and that his living was the best way to get back at them. That he hadn't survived three months of torture to just roll over and die and let them win. Made him see that every day he lived and saw the beauty of life was a symbolic 'fuck you' to the bastards that hurt him so badly."_

_"That is when Matt created beauty and helped Sam find a way to put the hurt away and find the beauty of life. That first six months was hell and we had to help him when he faltered but eventually he thought less of it and just moved on with living. But it was that challenge that pulled him back."]_

Ed's mind was still reeling from all Blaze said not seeing the challenge right in front of his face when he said "Would beauty help now? I'm not seeing that challenge working again. It's not the same circumstances."

_["Beauty won't work unless Blondie asks for it. Patch has it, get it just in case. Your hook to bring him back is that the doctor said he did not know, that time would tell. Those indicate there might be a sliver of hope. All Blondie needs is a flicker of hope to pull himself up again."_

_"Challenge him to prove the doctor wrong, prove the scans wrong. If he starts asking how he can do that you have him hooked and he will come back. His mind will begin to focus on meeting the challenge. He is stubborn and will lock onto it with all his strength. You will see it in his eyes. Blondie's eyes tell all. His masks do not work on his eyes. Help him find ways to win this challenge."]_

He could do that. They could do that. "Copy that" Ed said with conviction hearing the optimism in Blaze's voice and a small feeling of relief trickled through his body. He now had a tactical plan. Not an easy one but at least he had a plan.

_[There were sounds of a helicopter warming up in the background as Blaze said "I wish I could be there to help. I'm counting on you to keep Blondie safe. Please bring him back from the edge. I gotta go now, gotta board the bird. Have Blondie call me when you get him back to okay." he finished his voice choked with emotion.]_

"Thank you Blaze. We will bring Sam back. He will be good." Ed stated firmly and ended the call.

* * *

**_Hospital – Sam's Room _****_– _****_5:30 pm_**

The team all looked at Ed anxiously as there was a knock on the door. Jules went to the door and called out "What do you want?"

"It's me Scott and the General. Why is Sam's door locked? What's going on?" Scott asked concerned.

Jules turned to Ed and Greg "Boss, do I let them in?"

Greg looked to Ed questioningly. He had spoken to Blaze and may know better. A slight nod yes from Ed and Greg said "Yes."

Jules opened the door a fraction to ensure it was only them. Then said "Quickly" as she opened it just enough for them to enter the room. She shut and relocked it as soon as they entered.

Ed had taken this short distraction to consider how much he should he share. It was one thing to know generally Sam had once wanted to die but quite another to hear the details. He decided some things should stay private. So he decided to explain only what was necessary for the tactical plan. He looked at each of them and then back at Sam for a moment. He still hadn't moved. He motioned for them to all huddle close so he could whisper.

He started "We need to wait, listen and then present a challenge. Blaze says we cannot leave him alone for even a second until he accepts the challenge or we could lose him forever." Ed relayed how they should proceed to help Sam. Having an idea how to help, determination registered on their faces by the time he was done.

He finished "Remember, when he starts talking if it is too much for you to bear and you cannot listen without displaying emotion you must leave the room. We do not want to put him or ourselves in danger." He had reiterated this point several times as he told them the plan. They all readily agreed to the condition, understanding the gravity of consequences if not the actual details surrounding the reason why. No one wanted to be the cause of Sam trying to harm himself.

They turned as one to look back at Sam. He had not moved. His eyes still open. Wet tear streaks were slowly drying on his face. They silently lowered themselves into the chairs wondering how one person could have so much crap thrown at him in such a short time. Spike rubbed his hands over his eyes to quickly brush away tears that threatened. The wait began.

* * *

**_Hospital – Sam's Room _****_– _****_9 pm_**

Sam was still locked in place. The others had alternated between sitting and pacing. Ed thought over everything Blaze had said trying to draw a plan for himself personally to be able to school his emotions. The only one he was now worried about showing was anger. Could he keep that under control?

The General just sat thinking. His current state reminded him so much of how Samuel reacted after Sara's death. This scared the shit out of him. How unfair life had been for Samuel. It seemed like every time he was happy shit happened. When would this stop. Hatred flared in him when he thought of the man responsible for Samuel's current condition. As Merrill's image rolled through his brain the urge to pop off that man's head for doing this to his son consumed him.

Scott was just staring at Sam when he noticed a push button dangling just off the bed near Sam's hand. His eyes followed the cord that ended attached to a machine on Sam's IV pole. He knew what it was. An injured mate of his had one before. He rose and looked at the monitor. It told him how often it was allowed and when the last time it was dosed. It was way past time. He grasped the button and pressed it. Sam was in enough pain he didn't need more. This was some small thing he could do for his cousin. He noted the time on his watch and set his timer for the next dose.

The entire group noticed what he did. Jules rose and gave him a hug and mouthed 'thank you'. So engrossed they had all been in their thoughts no one had realized he hadn't received any pain meds. There was a knock on the door. Greg rose to see who it was. At the door without unlocking it he said "Who is it?"

"Dr. Markson. What the hell is going on? Unlock this door now."

"I'm sorry we cannot do that right now. Sam is fine with us right now. We will make sure he is okay." Greg knew the doctor would have no clue what he meant but it wasn't for him to understand. "If we require anything we will let you know" Greg concluded with an air of authority and went to sit back down.

The doctor did not know what to think. This was all so strange. After Mr. Young had forced him out of the room he had been called to an emergency. He had just returned and the nurse said no one had come out and the door remained locked.

His patient had asked for privacy but his team insisted on ignoring it. His TL yelled at him and he did not kick him out. In fact Sam was not making any ruckus trying to get them to leave. His Sergeant just said he was fine with them now.

Maybe Sam decided he really didn't want to be alone that he needed the comfort of his team to accept the fact he could not return to the same job or to say goodbye to his team. He blew out a frustrated breathe and said "Okay, I'll inform the nursing staff not to come in unless called." He turned and headed to the nursing station still baffled by this.

And they waited.

* * *

**_Hospital – Day 2 Recovery – Sam's Room _****_– _****_1 am_**

Over the last eight hours no one had spoken more than a few whispered words. They watched Sam looking for any indication he was coming out of it. He had not moved at all, arms still locked around his knees. Sam's eyes never closed, they blinked occasionally but did not focus on anything. Scott made sure that Sam got a dose of pain meds on the allowed intervals.

Spike had spent a great deal of time thinking on the one sided conversation. Ed was holding something significant back. He looked extremely troubled by what he had heard. He was about to ask him about it when fresh tears started falling from Sam's eyes. It hurt watching his brother in such pain.

Softly he said "Buddy we are here. When you want to talk, we will listen."

No one expected an answer so they were surprised when Sam haltingly said "Every … thing … I … love … gets taken … away … from me. I can't … live … like this … it … always … hurts. May ... be it's … punish..ment … for … every … one … I've killed."

Spike had opened his mouth to respond when Lou clamped his hand over Spike's mouth. Bent to his ear and barely whispered "Just listen." Spike nodded and Lou removed his hand. Sam's first few words gave them an indication of how hard it was to just listen and not to respond. But they held their tongues and just listened.

Sam continued to spill his guts out hesitantly one or two words between breaths. He talked of many things including the guilt he felt about killing so many people; describing many of the most horrific kills. How Murphy and his buddies had beaten the crap out of him every opportunity they got. How scared he was the entire time he was in Kandahar. How no one but his unit had given a damn if he lived or died. How he felt he failed the unit when someone died because he couldn't cover them. How he wished Matt had not stopped him because he wouldn't have been alive to kill Matt.

He did not move a muscle as he talked. His body locked into place as misery poured out of him.

Listening to the content of what Sam was saying was agonizing but also the manner of his speaking. He could only get a few words out at a time before having to gasp for air. That tore at their guts. Ed glanced at the clock and noted that Sam had been talking non-stop for the past two hours. His pace of speech was heartbreakingly slow. If he had been able to speak normally it would have been a thirty minute monologue. He began to worry if Sam could win the challenge he was going to propose. God he hoped so.

Everyone was holding it together fairly well on the outside. Following Blaze's rule of showing no emotion and just listening. That is until Sam started telling how he was tortured describing in brutal detail every depraved, debauched, cruel and merciless thing they had done to debase and dehumanize him.

* * *

**_Hospital – Outside Sam's Room _****_– _****_3 am_**

Spike was the first to leave the room. His eyes wide, shocked and body shaking. He had never heard of such inhuman things. He was followed closely by Jules. She stood still in the center of the hall a blank look on her face not really able to comprehend someone could be put through something like that. Before long Lou and the General joined them in the hall looking shell-shocked as they leaned against the wall for support.

When Wordy exited the room he collapsed on the floor unable to contain the quiet sobs. Jules pulled from her stupor at the sound wrapped her arms around him and comforted him for the first time. It had always been the other way around. She did not want to know what had driven Wordy to this point. So she just held on.

Greg quickly left the room. His face ashen he headed directly for a trash can and vomited. He had stayed as long as he could; trying to be strong for his rookie. But when Sam started to tell how they tortured him with needles he could take no more. The General placed a hand on Greg's shoulder in support. Spike handed him a cup of water. He rinsed his mouth and then turned to look at everyone in the hall.

No one said a word. No one thought any less of any of them for leaving the room. They moved and all sat on the floor with their backs against the wall opposite Sam's room. They stared at the door deep in their own thoughts.

Patch had just gotten off a long and grueling fifteen hour shift. He hadn't had time to even eat today. They went from one crazy call to another. He was exhausted. He had finally checked his text messages after he dropped his last patient off in the ER and saw one from Blaze saying 'give beauty to Spike'.

He thought it a bit odd but was happy that Blaze had thought it was time for him to pass the torch to someone else. With his love of technology Spike would be the perfect the caretaker of beauty. Beauty might need some repairing soon, it was so battered.

Patch rounded the corner at the eigth floor nurses station intending to check on Blondie before he headed home. He was looking at the floor as he thought; so glad they agreed to follow my recommendations. Blondie would heal much faster. A smile plastered to his face as he recalled the nurse's idea for a pain pump. Why the hell had he never thought of that before? She had been surprised when he hugged her.

He looked up and saw the group sitting on the floor in obvious distress. He knew those looks, people about to vomit and in shock. Same looks he, Blaze, Winds and Mason had had so many years ago. Aw shit, they told him about his lungs. He put two and two together, they had talked to Blaze. As he slid down the wall next to Spike he thought accept the challenge buddy.

He reached into his pocket and withdrew beauty. He placed it in Spike's lap without saying a word. Spike looked at him. Patch turned to look at Spike. "Beauty is in your care now, so is Sam. I hope he never needs it again."

Spike was surprised to hear him call him Sam and not Blondie. Patch understood the questioning look. "It's time. That part of his life is too painful and needs to be buried for good. He needs to move forward. Please call me Jim."

The group heard the exchange. They all most definitely agreed he needed to move forward and by god they would do everything in their power to help him get back to the team.

* * *

**_Hospital – Sam's Room _****_– _****_5 am_**

Scott had not wanted to hear the details but he could not abandon Sam. There was nothing he could do as a seventeen year old to help him when Sam suffered Sara's loss. He was old enough to know how much it had changed him. But there was something he could do now. He could be here. He could bear his pain. He would accept him for a man that endured such harm and came out amazing not damaged. His stomach churned at the details but he kept his face completely blank.

Ed's anger was roiling and he struggled so hard to keep his face impassive. He could do this. He would do this for Sam. If Sam could withstand the actual torture he could stand listening to him tell about it. From what he surmised Matt must have realized that letting Sam say it out loud helped purge it from his mind.

It was therapeutic to talk about bad things. Isn't that what Dr. Luria told him during the annual mandated psych evaluations? How the hell had Sam passed a psych eval? How was he not totally screwed up on a daily basis? That kid had strength of character.

Then he thought back to Sam's first months on the team. He could see it in hindsight. Sam had been hurting. He was trying desperately to hang on, to find normal, to rebuild, and to find purpose. It was clear as day now. He wished he had seen it then and not heaped more pain onto the load Sam was carrying.

Ed noticed Scott press the button again. Thank god he had recognized what that button was for. He noticed a slight change in Sam's tone and tuned in more closely to what he was saying.

Sam was now talking about how he was finally feeling like he was making a difference. How he liked helping people up close and not being just a long range killer. How he had felt proud of himself being able to save those two in the bank when he was able to connect. How it felt so nice to be part of a team that did so much good. How happy he was he belonged somewhere he could begin to live.

It pleased Ed immensely to hear Sam start on a positive path. That the team was important to him and he had purpose. This has to be a good sign. Ed looked at Sam closely wanting to see any little sign of him coming out of the catatonic state he was in.

Sam's eyes had been unfocussed the entire time but they shifted and drilled directly into Ed's eyes clear and focused when he said "But … that is … all … gone now. Everything … I … love … gets taken … away … from me. One … damned … bullet … from a … mad man. … I can't … do the … job with … lungs like … this. Why … is it … always … so hard? … Why can't I … just … die … already?"

There was the question! Didn't matter what it was. Sam was done talking. Next step, challenge him.

Ed look directly back at him and stated clearly and firmly "Because you are going to be okay. Because we won't let you give up. Because you will rejoin the team and continue to make a difference. Because you are going to prove the doctor wrong."

Please let me see it in his eyes. Blaze said I would see him accept it in his eyes. He just has to ask me how. Gauntlet thrown, waiting silently for it to be picked up. Ed maintained eye contact, Sam not wavering either.

Scott waited with baited breath watching the powerful stare-down. Wordlessly Scott urged Sam to ask a single question. Just one damned question. Come on you can do it. You are so strong. Grab on to it. Please ask how.

Sam stared directly at Ed. He challenged him. How the hell could he challenge him over this? Was he just sadistic? The doctor said he wouldn't have the stamina to do his job. Why the hell would Ed challenge him on this? It was impossible. The doctor said there was significant damage. Why was Ed being so cruel? Just more shit on par with everything else in his life, constantly hurt.

He just stared. He couldn't break away. Ed didn't break away. What the hell was Ed doing?

The doctor's words rushed back in tumbled over one another. Sam's mind had to sift them, put them in the proper order and hear them in the correct context. Aw shit, his brain had twisted things again. The doctor said 'do not know', 'I will help', 'tough to change'. He said tough not impossible. He said 'only time will tell'.

Three things happened in quick succession.

A spark ignited in Sam's eyes.

His arms unlocked, released his knees, his body unfurled.

Sam said "How?"


	39. Heather & Jim, Needles, Tag Team

**_AN: Graphic warning _****_– _****_this chapter contains a flashback dealing with torture that is not left to your imagination_**_. I do prefer imply and leave it to your minds to create certain details but I had many requests to write about the needles to give details why it would be so hard to hear. So since this is my first fiction I decided to try my hand at it (scares me a bit that my mind could be so dark and come up with this stuff - eewww)._

_Apologies to those that don't like to read this kind of detail. **The story will read fine if you skip that section entirely** because there is an implied thought before the flashback section and a lead back into present day that work whether you read the torture scene or not. The torture scene is clearly delineated as a flashback, so you can easily recognize and skip it if so desired._

* * *

**Heather &amp; Jim, Torture, Tag Team, Slow is Smooth …**

* * *

**_Hospital – Elevator &amp; Eighth Floor Nurses Station _****_– _****_5:30 am_**

Heather was feeling happy this morning. She was waiting for the elevator to open up on the eighth floor. She had just finished her shift and she was on her way to visit with Sam knowing that Patch would likely be there. Oh darn, she thought, I gotta change that. Jim, Jim, Jim she said in her head three times as memories of last Friday night came to mind.

They had gone out on their first official date. Patch, I mean Jim had been so attentive, They had so much fun. Over dinner he turned serious and told her 'Heather, I really like you. I know this is quick, but I've learned life can be short so to not waste time. I want a future with you'.

She had been overjoyed by his words because she felt the same way. She had responded 'Patch, I …' but that was as far as she got when he interrupted her. He said 'Patch is my past; please call me by my given name Jim. I want a future with you and want to be Jim now'.

Heather understood perfectly what he meant by it. All the time they had spent together helping Sam, she could see the pain the past caused him. He needed to move forward. He loved Sam and the other guys and would always be there for them but he needed to put the hurt of the things that happened over there away. He had kissed her deeply then. Her lips tingled even now as she recalled their first passionate kiss. Ding. The door opened to the eighth floor.

She was repeating 'Jim' over and over again in her head. She would eventually make the change but she was still so used to calling him Patch. She stopped at the nurse station and smiled broadly at the nurse that had suggested the pain pump. The elation that suggestion had brought to Jim was palpable. What was her name again? She racked her brain, that's right Bettie.

Heather beamed brightly as she said "Hello Bettie. Have you seen Jim and how's our Samtastic doing?"

Bettie looked up from her paperwork. Heather saw concern written on her face. "Bettie?" Bettie just shook her head, raised her arm and pointed in the direction of Sam's room. Heather hurried in that direction, something was not right.

Bettie dropped her head into her hands again. She had arrived on shift at four am to find an extremely confusing and upsetting scene outside Sam's room. None of the nurses were allowed to enter his room per Dr. Markson's orders. One of the night nurses said the doctor told Sam he would never be able to do his job again and all hell had broken loose.

His team had barred everyone from entering his room since five pm last night. But about three am they started to trickle out looking overwrought. She had seen them in the hall sitting against the wall. She had never seen a mix of those emotions on people's face before and wished she never had.

* * *

**_Hospital – Outside Sam's Room _****_– _****_5:30 am_**

Heather's heart dropped to the floor. The looks on all their faces as they stared at Sam's door scared the hell out of her. Jim was sitting there with an odd mix of horror and begging on his face like he was trapped in another time and place. Greg looked like he was about to hurl, he was so white and still, none of his usual control. Spike's wide open eyes had a strange wild panic but faraway look to them.

Jules had a completely blank look and had her arm around Wordy's shoulders. That was strange; it was always the other way. Why was she the one comforting him? She couldn't see Wordy's face it was down and buried in his hands. The General's jaw was set tight in rage but his eyes read deep abiding sorrow. Lou looked as if something precious had been shattered and fragmented in too many pieces to mend.

God no, he couldn't have, what would have caused it? She knew he was having trouble breathing but he was going to be okay. Right? Was the damage even more than the doctor thought? He had woken up he was okay. But their devastated looks.

He didn't ... no he couldn't be gone. He fought so hard. Oh god she was afraid to know the answer to the question that would not quite form. She forced herself step by step to approach Jim. She knelt down in front of him and clasped her hands around his where they rested on top of his bent knees.

Jim registered someone in front of him. Warm hands gently held his. He focused on the face. "Oh Heather, he …" his shaky voice softly called out but didn't finish his statement choked off by a sob emitted from his throat.

She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly. Tears fell from her eyes for two reasons. Seeing Jim in such pain and the implication of the words he was able to get out. She just held him as he quietly cried.

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room _****_– _****_5:30 am_**

Sam said "How?" As his body uncurled his eyes closed losing contact with Ed. He rolled onto his back. He opened his eyes and focused on the ceiling above him.

Scott and Ed turned and looked at each other. Hooked! They had hooked him. Thank god they had him on the line. Now they just had to reel him in without losing him. It was a tenuous hold they had at the moment. But they had hooked him.

Elation quickly turned to uneasiness. They realized they had been so focused on getting him to this point of asking a question that they had failed to prepare an answer. The hook could be lost with one wrong word or one wrong emotion. Sharing a look each knew the other was scrambling to come up with something to say.

Scott finally ventured "Sam, we will find a way. Your family, all of us wants this for you as much as you want it. We won't let you fail. Not gonna lie, it will be hard work but I've never known a Braddock who was afraid of hard work when they had a goal to achieve."

Sam did not realize Scott was in the room. Until now he only thought Ed was here. That is all his mind had registered until Scott had spoken. He looked at Scott. He saw a potential reflection of himself as he scrutinized Scott. A weird thought entered his head. Would he look like that in eight years?

Agony rushed through him. Would he even be here in eight years? A large part of him still wanted to die. Part of him would be dead if he could not return to the work that had become his salvation, his path to living. Being half alive was not an option. Been there done that. Never will allow it to happen again. So he either got back to work or he would end it fully.

Sam realized that Scott must have heard everything he had said. He didn't know why he had to say it aloud but he did. He had to give voice to every damned inhumane, vicious, sadistic and savage detail. Losing his grip of the present, his eyes glazed over as the horrific memories slid back and took root again in his mind.

* * *

**_Graphic warning: _****_Flashback _****_– _****_Terrorist Camp Somewhere in Afghanistan_**

_He was stripped naked and forced to kneel on the hard packed desert soil with rocks biting into his knees. Arms outstretched as if on a cross. Chained and stretched to the limits pulling muscles taut; any tighter and his shoulders would dislocate. _

_Left to blister in the sun for hours. He was so thirsty. How many more blows to the head, ribs, kidneys and stomach could he take? How many more times would they stomp on his feet, grinding the tops of them into the rocky soil, how many toes had they broken? _

_Why couldn't he just pass out and escape some of this pain? Head hung down to his chest blood dripped from his dry split lips and lacerations inside the mouth. His eyes almost swollen shut. His jaw and ribs ached from so many blows._

_Oh god not the whip again. He saw it again. Long thin strips of leather with several strands knotted at various lengths. The bastards stood there and taunted him verbally all the while threatening him with the pain the whip would inflict. _

_They said he was a failure for getting caught. That no one cared whether he lived or died. Told him no one was coming to rescue him. They repeatedly declared that he was a pitiful, discarded, unworthy animal that should be punished for just being born._

_At first his mind resisted and fought their words. His unit would come for him. Matt, Blaze, Winds, Patch, and Mason would protect him like he protected them so many times. Matt would come, surely Matt would save him. But after days turned to weeks that turned to months and the torment repeated continually and no one came to save him he had started to believe. _

_He was worthless, unlovable, tainted and he should just die. But he never died. They cruelly took him to the edge of death again and again but never let him reach the final release from his suffering._

_Sam stared at the whip as the strands swung gently back and forth, almost mesmerized by them. He tried so hard to use his training to put his mind somewhere else. But then the hand holding the whip pulled back and the lashes hit him with such force. _

_Pain lanced across his back with every powerful strike. He clenched his jaw refusing to cry out as they ripped open his back. Then they started on the chest. He could not swallow every sob. More and more started to escape his throat which caused the strikes to increase with fury. They wanted to hear him howl out in pain; moans and grunts were not enough for them._

_They released his arms and he dropped to the ground. His blood soaked into the earth beneath him. Sam tried to curl up to protect himself. They viciously grabbed his feet sending sharp shards of pain racing through them. They drug him across the burning, rocky ground into a small fetid smelling room. His back and chest flayed open from lashes of the whip now embedded with rocks and dirt. _

_He lay there beaten, bloodied and not a piece of flesh left unbruised._

_Arms and legs violently yanked and spread out to their full X extension then tied with coarse biting ropes to the stakes in the ground in that tiny room. Wrists and ankles quickly became bloody, raw and several layers of skin scoured off from struggling for release. _

_Disgusting laughter increased the more he thrashed against the bindings that held him tight. This time tied face up. Other times tied face down. He was wide open, defenseless, vulnerable, helpless and unable to curl to protect any part of his body._

_The bastards completely surrounded him and kicked him brutally with steel toed boots. Their malevolent chortles rang in the air at each one of his pitiful screams. No part of his body was spared from the kicks; head, arms, legs, torso, privates. _

_Ears ringing from the last kick to the head, through the slits of his battered eyes, he could see his blood splattered and stained the toes of their boots._

_Then they brought out the needles. Each held dozens of long thin needles. They took sadistic pleasure in jabbing them into him over and over again. Stabbing everywhere. No place left untouched; even thrusting them into private areas, especially there. _

_Their excitement reached fevered pitches when they debased him by targeting him there because his shrieks of pain amplified tenfold. They always stopped short of letting the blackness take him to oblivion and relief. They kept him locked in a cycle of unrelenting pain for hours on end._

_When they tired of the game or he was close to falling into blackness they left him to whimper and writher in pain tied down, exposed, terrified and covered in hundreds of needles. The bastards would return to kick him often, ramming the needles in further. Embedded so far they had to press down hard on his flesh to reach a tip or use tweezers to dig down and rip them out so they could be used again the next time._

_Sometimes after the daily waterboarding they would leave him in a pool of water. Dozens of the metal needles made contact with the water and acted as conduits when they apply electric cables to the puddles. Shocks coursing through him produced raw screams from him and sickening laughter from the bastards._

_One bastard took particular pleasure in pretending to care. He always looked at him with pity. His mind would fall for it every time; needing desperately to have someone care. His mind muddled by constant pain and starvation. But his look of pity would turn to a revolting sneer as he heated the needles to a glowing red. _

_In a soothing voice he would tell him it was to sterilize them so his wounds would not become infected. Then the bastard would giggle wickedly as he drove the burning hot needles slowly and deeply into his stomach causing him to vomit only bile. No food or water in his system._

_He suffered so much excruciating, unrelenting pain, inflicted for the sole purpose of providing amusement for sadistic bastards. Never asking him for information. They taunted him telling him that they knew he was JTF2 but never asked for information. Just constant merciless, inhumane torture perpetrated for fun._

_**End Flashback ****– ****Return to Present**_

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room _****_– _****_6 am_**

Scott had been forcefully calling to Sam since he saw his eyes start to glaze over. He could tell Sam was someplace else and it was bad. He needed to break him loose and bring him back to the present. He didn't dare touch him in this state, he did not have a death wish. So he called and called and called, tried to get Sam to hear him "…hear me SAM."

Sam was slowly pulled back to the present as he finally heard his name. Panting for breath, head pounding, the room spinning but starting to come back into focus. It was Scott calling him; he was not there. Memories fresh in his mind Sam found Scott and looked pointedly at his eyes, probing.

He would not be able to take it if he saw pity. If there was pity he'd end the relentless torture now and they could not stop him. He could handle anything but the shame of seeing pity. There was no honor in pity, only humiliation and failure.

It was his fault he was captured. He should have been more aware; he was special ops for god's sake. He should have never been taken. He knew the crap Murphy pulled, he should have been prepared. There was no excuse for not being prepared. He would never make that mistake again. Sam was prepared now if he saw pity. He had registered five ways he could do it right now. Three would be quick and painless; two would be messy and a slow painful death but still effective.

He continued to probe Scott's face.

Scott did not break eye contact even as fear increased in the pit of his stomach at the force of Sam's stare. Sam was searching for something. He was not sure what. Scott was afraid to show the wrong thing so he iced all emotions and adopted an expressionless look. Hoping that was the right thing to do.

Ed was worried. He saw Sam glaze over and sat silently as Scott tried to drag him back to reality. There was a bit of relief when Sam connected with Scott's eyes. But it was short lived. He could see that Sam's thoughts were turning dark. He saw the almost imperceptible flick of Sam's eyes to several parts of the room as he looked at Scott. His eyes had narrowed and were wary and his body looked ready to react almost like a caged animal readying to attack.

He needed to break Sam's dangerous train of thought. Adopting his TL persona and voice of authority he used on hot calls he said "Sam, we need a tactical plan now. One that gets you back to the team. Do you copy?"

The oddity of Ed's words pulled Sam from his deadly thoughts and he turned to face Ed confusion evident as he said "A … tactical … plan … back … to the … team?"

Speaking the concept out loud as his mind latched onto it with vengeance. Something familiar in the sea of confusion he was swirling and drowning in.

Scott instantly thought what a brilliant way to put it Ed. Sam's mind excelled at tactical planning. A huge smile threatened to settle on his face but he quickly tamped it down and remained poker-faced. His watch beeped. He reset it and reached forward to press the button.

Sam saw his action and pinned him with a look of curiosity. In a nonchalant voice Scott said "It was time. Gotta keep the pain in check so you can heal."

Wholly confused, not sure what to think or say Sam looked toward the window. Aw crap, his mind was all over the place like a fish trying to dislodge a hook by thrashing to and fro. He saw the sun peak over the horizon. It was sunrise? What the hell?

Crap, how many more days did he lose? With Matt it had been three weeks. He was so fucked up. He closed his eyes trying to regain some semblance of balance. Thoughts running wild and unchecked he mentally grabbed onto three words 'challenge' and 'tactical plan'. He clung to those as his mind quieted and distilled his thoughts.

Ed had challenged him. Ed had said he needed a tactical plan. Ed had said he was going to be okay. Ed said he wouldn't let him give up. Ed said to prove the doctors wrong. Ed said return to the team.

Wanting to stay in the rational world Sam opened his eyes and watched the sun rise till it was well above the horizon. Could he come out of the dark? Could he rise? His throat too raw to speak Sam opted to point at the clock and gave Ed a questioning look.

Ed had watched the internal struggle and was glad to see Sam point to the clock. Understanding Ed said "Only the one night. It was five pm when we found you. Most the team and the General were here until about three am. It's nearly six-thirty am. I think the team and the General are still in the hall. Do you want them to come in and help with the tactical plan?"

He hoped Sam would say yes. The others needed to see Sam was beyond the talk section moving toward accepting the challenge.

Sam wanted them to come in but wondered why they left. Shit, no he didn't wonder why. Matt had told him what he did last time and the unit's reactions. Oh crap could he face them? Did they think he was broken and damaged, someone to be pitied? His thoughts started down the dark path again. Registering four more methods; damn this room was full of them. It would be so easy to end it here.

Ed quickly said with the same authority he used earlier "Samo, stop. Stop now." Sam blinked and looked at Ed guardedly.

Getting Sam's attention again Ed continued with firm conviction "Yes it hurt them to hear what you said. But that is because you are family. They care. What hurts one hurts all. They do not feel sorry for you. They understand the events in your life, things you had no control over, have caused you to endure some intense brutality. But you are a good man, one sorely tested and proven stronger as a result of what you withstood. Strength forged in fire. Each one of us is proud to call you brother, friend, son, family."

Ed's words were something Sam wanted so badly to hear. But could he believe them? Were they true or just said to placate him? He was afraid. He so wanted them to be true. Courage, he needed courage. His mind was racing again, fear reaching up and grabbing at him, lacing it's filthy tendrils into the rational part of his brain trying to drag him back down into the pit. Damn he couldn't stop it.

This was exhausting Scott thought watching all the emotions play out in Sam's eyes and across his face. If I feel this way I can only imagine how exhausted Sam must be. He could see fear creeping in now and taking hold. He was damned glad Ed was here. They were tag teaming. Scott wondered how the hell Matt did it alone.

A quick look at Ed communicated 'my turn now'. "Sam, hey Sam look at me." Sam turned to Scott. "Alright, I got an idea cuz. Why don't we take this real slow? Have them come in one at a time, alone. Give you an opportunity to settle with each one separately. You take as much time as you need with each to satisfy yourself of their feelings. How does that sound? Do you want to proceed that way?"

One at a time? Yeah he might be able to manage that. He gave a slight nod.

"Okay, good. Now you are in control. Who first?" Scott asked feeling slightly relieved.

Sam wanted to respond but his throat was raw and parched from hours of speaking. He motioned with his hand for a drink. Ed rose and poured him some water. He handed it to him then placed his hand on Sam's shoulder and gave him a 'you can do this' look.

He drank the entire glass and asked for another. Sam drank half and handed it back. Ed placed it on the table and sat back down. Sam inhaled as deep as he dared to, trying not to increase the pain level in his chest. He exhaled and said "Lou." Less lethal Lou was always calm his face passive. He hoped Lou was a safe choice.

Scott rose and said "Okay. I'll go get Lou. Ed will stay with you. I'll be gone a few minutes. Need to let them know what happened since they left. Are you okay with that?"

Nerves were beginning to fray and irrational thinking was catching hold telling him he would be hurt again. He hesitated in answering Scott. Scott stood patiently waiting for Sam to say it was okay. Giving him compete control.

As he tried to regain rational thought, he shifted on the bed to ease muscles stiff and sore from so many hours locked in place. When he moved white hot pain from broken ribs seared through his chest. He flinched and hissed and his stomach started to clench. There was nothing but water and bile in it. He was trying hard to control the nauseous that billowed up.

Ed saw Sam pale and the sweat bead on his forehead. He was instantly up and at Sam's bed with the plastic basin. Sam vomited until it was nothing but dry heaves. Both Ed and Scott held him upright on the bed.

When he finished heaving Sam was gasping for breath. They ease him back down when the heaving stopped. Scott quickly wet a cloth and ran it over Sam's face and around his neck. Scott rinsed the cloth and placed it at the back of Sam neck.

"Ok?" Ed asked worried about the gasping.

Sam shook his head no. It fucking hurt! He could not regulate his breathing and dark spots danced in his eyes.

Ed saw the struggle. "Samo, look at me. Sniper breathing. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release" Ed said as he placed his hands on either side of Sam's head and quickly turned him towards him so his own face was inches from Sam's.

Sam locked eyes to Ed. Ed released Sam's head and dropped his hands.

"That's right. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release."

Sam begged Ed with his eyes not to stop, needing the words and guidance to breathe.

"You got this buddy. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release."

Sam grasped Ed's hand as tightly as he could manage.

"I'm not going anywhere. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release."

Sam relaxed his body slightly as oxygen started getting in.

"You're doing good. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release.

Sam relaxed his death grip on Ed's hand.

"Almost under control. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release."

Sam communicated gratitude with his eyes.

"Ready for me to stop? In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release."

Sam shook no.

"Hard work huh? In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release."

Sam nodded yes.

"You afraid of hard work? In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release."

Sam shook no.

"Good because it's gonna take a lot to get you back to the team. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. We will not fail you, you will succeed. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. Got that, no other option than to prove the doctors wrong. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release. You are not called Samtastic for nothing. In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release."

Sam stared and decided to trust Ed's words.

"You ready to accept the challenge? Ready to work your ass off? In. Hold 2, 3, 4. Release."

Sam nodded yes.

"Good! Now the first step is for you to tell me out loud you accept the challenge."

Sam reached for the push button to dose himself unable to speak yet due the level of pain still coursing through him. Allowing the meds to enter and take the edge off he focused on breathing without Ed's help now but holding Ed's gaze the entire time.

Ed saw him press the meds and waited for Sam to gain control of his pain. Liking the clarity and determination he saw light in his eyes. Damn Blaze is right; you will see it in his eyes.

Scott watched spellbound as Ed helped Sam control his breathing and then presented him with the first step. He had never seen anything like that before. The fact that Sam looked for help and received it boded well he thought. He could tell Sam trusted Ed on some level. It was a trust born from mutual earned respect.

Pain ebbing to a manageable level Sam inhaled carefully and spoke slowly but with no gasp of breath in between words "I accept the challenge."

"Good. That was good. Four words in a row. Progress already." Ed smiled and his eyes reflected pride for Sam's first accomplishment.

Sam smiled shyly at the praise.

Scott smiled "So Cuz, still want to do it smooth and slow?"

"Yeah" Sam responded. He still was raw needed to take it slow. Knowing he could be easily pulled back to the pit of despair and definitely not wanting to go there again.

Scott went toward the door.

Sam turned back to Ed. Scott's words triggered a memory. He recalled of one of Ed's favorite sayings. One he used often when the team was training to get them pumped up, focused on the task and working together as one to accomplish the goal.

"Hey Ed" he said to get his attention. Ed looked at him. Sam smiled. Ed was curious.

Sam said "Slow ... is smooth … smooth is ... fast …"

Together they finished with broad grins "fast ... is lethal."

* * *

**_Hospital – Outside Sam's Room _****_– _****_7 am_**

As the door started to open everyone in the hall froze. Each thinking much the same thing, what was happening in there? Was Sam done talking? Had he accepted the challenge? They had been out here for about four hours. They instantly recognized it was Scott and his face did not look distressed, exhausted but not distressed.

As the door closed behind him he said quietly "Challenge accepted" as a smile broke across his face.

They were on their feet instantly and headed for the door. Scott put up his hand and said "Hold." They stopped where they stood. Scott then explained to them what had happened since they left; not repeating any details Sam gave. Just general topics until he got to the part about his feelings for SRU.

"So, the thing that threw him to the edge is that you all" looking at Team One "are important to him. Working with you gives his life purpose. He feels he belongs, that he makes a difference and it is a place he can begin to live. If he cannot rejoin the team he would rather die" Scott said.

"What does he mean begin to live?" Spike asked.

Jim just looked at him and cocked his head with a look that said 'put it together, think man'.

"Ohhh, got it" Spike said releasing a shuddering breath. "So we are going in one by one. Who did he ask for first?"

Scott nodded at Lou. "Can't tell you how long it will be before he is ready for the next. But if you could have three cups of coffee handy when I come out again it would be fantastic. I know I need some and I'm sure Ed could too. Sam is bushed but I think he wants to get this over with before he rests so it would be helpful for him too. Even if it is not strictly allowed yet."

Scott and Lou entered the room. The General, Greg and Wordy said they would take care of getting the coffee for everyone. They headed off to the break room. Jules and Spike walked a little away from the room. "Jules, I'm worried" Spike said nervously.

"Why?" Jules asked.

"You know me. My face always shows my emotions. What if I show something that sets him off or throws him over the edge?" he replied as he started to pace in a circle and run his hand through his hair.

Jules considered what he said for several moments. "What do you feel right now?"

"So many things" he answered honestly.

"What is the main feeling? Can you pinpoint it? she queried.

Spike continued to pace sorting through his emotions and trying to figure out what was foremost. There was sorrow, dread, amazement, anger, and others. But what did he feel the strongest? He finally stopped pacing and looked at her "Relief and Hopefulness."

Jules smiled. "Focus on hope solely. Bring it to the forefront. Keep it locked in your mind and it will display on your face. Sam needs to see hope."

Spike hugged her. He could do that. Hope. He would show Samtastic hope. God he loved this team. They were always there to help each other when they needed it most. He finally released Jules when Greg rounded the corner with coffee for all.

Jim and Heather had sat down next to the wall when Lou and Scott went back into the room. Heather gently asked him to explain just what was going on. They spent several minutes in quiet conversation as he told her of the past and what he thought happened here tonight. He wasn't completely sure seeing he had arrived when they were already in the hall and he adamantly refused to ask any of them for details. Once in a lifetime was one too many times to hear those details.

Heather looked at Jim with care and tenderly said "Jim, it's time to go. Sam's team, his dad and cousin can handle this now. It's time for you to move forward. Lay this burden down. You can help Sam with his physical recovery, but this, this is covered. Let's get you home, you are exhausted."

Wordy had overheard the last of what Heather said. He thought Heather was right Patch, no Jim, needs to let this go. They will all eventually need to let it go. Sam was theirs now. They would take care of him.

Moving to stand in front of Patch Wordy said "Jim, she's right. Time to go. We will put the pieces back together and help him begin to live. You need to begin to live too." He reached out a hand and helped Jim to rise then pulled him close and hugged him. "Thank you for saving Sam at the church, because of you he has a chance to live."

Jim and Heather said their goodbyes to them all. They assured them they both would be around to help Sam with figuring out a tactical plan for recovery. Arm in arm with Heather's head resting on Jim shoulder they headed for the elevators. Time for Jim to build a life with Heather.


	40. Settling with Lou, General, Wordy, Spike

**Settling with Lou, the General, Wordy &amp; Spike**

* * *

**_Hospital – Day 2 Recovery – Inside Sam's Room _****_– _****_Settling with Lou_****  
**

Just before Lou entered Ed had shifted his position so that he could keep an eye on Sam without being too obvious but close enough if need be. He wanted to be able to detect if Sam was slipping and be able to intervene quickly if necessary.

Lou entered the room not sure what to expect nor exactly sure how to react. He wondered why Sam had asked for him first. He felt they were probably the least well connected. Maybe that was the reason. Maybe he was the safe one.

So he decided to simply be himself and treat Sam as if it was any other day. Then he tried to think of one thing that connected them in the past few months. Ah that's it, he would go with that. He, Sam and Spike joked a lot about in the locker room. He and Spike were awed how he handled those situations; he was able to do something no one else on the team could do.

Pulling the chair close to Sam's bedside and sitting down he said "Morning. Good to see ya. Gave us quite a scare, but I see you've got it worked out. I can't wait until you get yourself back to the team. Gotten used to having someone around that can settle Jules down. Man she hits hard. You always seem to know what to say to her to stop her. My arms thank you."

Sam assessed Lou's body language and looked closely at his face. It was just Lou. Nothing out of the ordinary. Well except for the tiredness around his eyes. Lou was normal but it felt awkward for him. Sam wasn't sure how to respond. "Yeah … well …" he started.

"Buddy, save your breath right now. I can see it's hard for you to breathe at the moment. We'll have plenty of time to shoot the breeze getting you back into shape" Lou injected seeing Sam wasn't sure what to say.

It had to feel uncomfortable to know people had seen you at your lowest point. "I'm not gonna stay long. Just needed to see for myself you are alright. You look like you could use some sleep."

"So do … you" Sam responded more normally.

Lou stood and looked down at Sam "We good man?"

Sam nodded yes.

"Okay, then I'll see ya tomorrow. We got to get that tactical plan put together but I think we all need to sleep on it first." He patted Sam's shoulder then headed toward the door. He turned back to Sam and said "Who do you want next?"

Sam thought then said "the Gen … my dad." Lou gave him thumbs up and left the room.

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room _****_– _****_Settling with the General_**

The General entered the room with four cups of coffee. He was hesitant for the first time in his life to meet the eyes of his son. All the pain and misery Samuel had endured had been because of one man's vendetta against him. It had been hard to hear what Samuel had gone through and he knew he had not heard the worst of it. He could take no more and had to leave the room when Samuel related how he began to accept the bastards' verbal abuse and believe that he was an unworthy animal that should be punished for just being born.

Sam involuntarily tensed as the General entered the room. His body unconsciously moved into an upright soldier position. He held himself still, as if at attention and watched the General closely trying to get a read on him.

The General had known many soldiers brought to their knees and broken beyond repair that had gone through much less than his son had. He needed to figure out how to proceed. So he used the distraction of handing out the coffee to Ed and Scott to gather himself and determine his path forward.

He was so proud of Samuel for many reasons. He glanced at Samuel on his way to give Scott his coffee. He wondered just how the hell in his condition did he sit so erect and still. It had to hurt very much to do that. Yet Samuel did it. He was amazed by the depth of his strength and control. Samuel was so resilient and capable both physically and mentally.

Decision made. Pride would be the emotion he would display but care and concern would be demonstrated through actions. Samuel did not need to see concern on his face. Samuel needed to see that he was proud of him and that he felt he was strong and whole. But Samuel needed to be cared for too. His health was fragile right now.

Sam was hesitant to see his father. Would he view him as damaged goods? Yesterday they had tentatively started putting things back together. His dad admired strength. He recognized now that he had always unknowingly striven to be what his dad expected. After their talk, he realized that he had only ever showed strength and stubbornness to the General trying to win his father's respect, to be loved, valued and deemed worthy.

That was one of the many reasons he had joined the military even though at the time he didn't recognize it as such. It was also one of the reasons he had asked him to intervene so he could go into Special Forces early with Matt. He had thought that if he could be a good soldier maybe, just maybe his dad would want him.

So now he was uncertain. After showing such weakness, would his dad want to have him now? Would he see shame and disgust in his father's eyes? Would his dad care even a little bit or had his weakness destroyed the little progress they had made yesterday?

"Samuel. Son. How are you doing? Do you need anything?" the General asked in a strong clear voice letting pride show as he handed him a cup of coffee.

Wow this was hard to comprehend Sam thought. His dad looked at him like he was proud of him. His dad's questions gave him pause. He was asking about him. He cared? Sam reached out for the coffee.

The General sat in the chair that was right next to the bed. He blew on his coffee, took a sip and waited for Samuel to reply not rushing him. He could see Samuel was working through his emotions and trying to come to some decision.

He realized the more he interacted with Samuel just how alike they really were. Steel-hard cores with strong exterior shields that hid and protected their softer caring parts.

They were different too. He was glad of that; so glad that Samuel had gotten a strong dose of Yvonne. He had her brightness and ability to laugh and use humor. It would be a mix of those qualities that would help him now. Strength would not be enough. Samuel would need to laugh too.

Sam brought the coffee to his face and sniffed. It smelled good. It was the second time having coffee with his dad. He liked this. He could get used to this he thought. But could they accept one another for the men they really were, flaws and all? Was it time to allow his dad to see the real Sam? Was it time to let the shields go and admit he needed help? God he hoped he was making the right decision.

"Sir. … Dad … could be … better … hurts so much … pain … ful and … hard to … breathe … so very … tired." Sam said consciously relaxing his body and dropping his mask allowing the real pain and utter exhaustion he was feeling to show. Hoping he would not see rejection or disgust in his father's face.

"Let's see if we can do something about that son. I'll do whatever you need. Just let me know what you need son and I'll do all I can to make it happen. You are so strong but I need you to know we all need help now and then. There is no weakness in needing help. Let me help you please" the General told Samuel.

His father's words were like a cooling salve calming and soothing a burning old wound. A calmness he had never known settled around him and began to work its way to the inner reaches of his soul. It showed on Sam's face and body.

Ed and Scott watched the interaction. Both ready to intervene if necessary. Their bodies were so tense. But the look that crossed Sam's face relaxed them immensely. Good. Ed thought two down four to go as he sipped the much needed coffee.

Scott thought hallelujah. Could the Braddock clan finally become whole again? The tension between those two had always been a bone of contention. It had broken a very long history of strong father son relationships. They had all tried for so long to help them to repair it but nothing had worked. As horrible as all this was a small part of him was glad it happened because it was repairing their relationship.

The General saw how his words affected Samuel. Very much like when Samuel had called him dad at the gazebo. Oh thank god he thought. Then he really looked at him. He looked so very tired, exhausted, thoroughly and utterly spent and in lots of pain. He needed rest and he needed it now. He was pushing himself too far but he held back from saying anything. Samuel needed to be in control of this.

Sam looked at the coffee he held. He wanted to blow on the hot coffee to cool it but was too hard. He needed the caffeine boost it would give him but he needed it to cool first so he just held it. He still needed to talk with Spike, Wordy, Jules and Greg. Those were going to be tough for various reasons. Who should he choose next?

"Samuel, I'll be back in one moment" his dad said as he rose and walked quickly to the door. He returned and had a cup in his hand. He approached the bed and took the coffee from Samuel's hand and poured part of it into the other cup. He handed him the new cup, placed the old one on the table and sat down in the same chair.

Sam looked into the new cup he held. He grinned. Coffee poured over a cup of ice. He took a small sip of coffee. It tasted okay for hospital coffee, certainly not as good as an iced capp. but it would do for now. He nodded thanks to his dad and got a smile in return.

So who? He continued to muse as he sipped his iced coffee. He had narrowed it to Wordy or Sarge. Spike was out for now. His emotions showed too readily and it might be hard to see the barrage of emotions he would show. Jules was out for now too. It would kill him instantly if he saw pity on her face. He was not ready to confront that possibility.

Wordy or Sarge? Wordy might be best. He had already shown acceptance back at the hotel. He worried about seeing Sarge. Had he lost his job due to his actions? Would he see him as too unstable to be part of SRU a risk to the team? What he knew about Sarge gave him a flicker of hope that would not be the case. But he was not quite ready to find out.

"Wordy … next" Sam said.

The General rose "I'll go get him. I'll be right outside if you need anything Samuel."

As he approached the door Sam said "Stay … please" as he looked at his dad.

General Braddock turned and clarified "Do you want me to stay in the room when Wordy comes in?"

Sam nodded yes. Scott sighed. Sam heard him and looked at him. Scott beamed and mouthed silently back to him 'good'.

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room_****_– _****_Settling with Wordy_**

Okay I can do this Wordy was steeling himself as the General beckoned him to enter the room. Just think how I would handle one of my girls. Well not quite. They were all softer, gentler, innocent little girls and needed different things. Sam was a full grown man who had actually lived a nightmare not just dreamed one. What did Sam need right now. He thought to that day with him in the hotel. Got it.

Sam was finally feeling a little jolt from the caffeine. Amazing how effective it was when a body had not had any of it in weeks. As Wordy entered he was feeling a little apprehensive but of all of them he felt the most sure that Wordy would not judge him that he could accept him. Especially given how Wordy had invited into his home last Christmas.

Wordy stopped at the foot of the bed and placed his hands on the end rail and leaned over a bit. Sam saw him stretching his back. God they had all been here so long. Shel and girls must be missing him. Sam spoke first "Did Allie … like the … movies?"

Wordy chuckled "Yeah. She begged us to buy the DVD of Beauty and the Beast since you gave her Sleeping Beauty last Christmas. Then said she wanted to watch them with Uncle Sam. I hope you like Disney movies because her list was about ten long when I left yesterday."

Sam responded "I'd watch … anything … with her." Sam almost told him about his idea for Sleeping Beast but stopped himself quickly because he would have to reveal Jules kissed him. Instead he said "Tell Shel … thanks."

Wordy looked at Sam curiously. This was not going in the direction he initially planned but it was good. Probably better than what he was going to say. He had planned to ask Sam what he needed like he had done in the hotel room. So he said "Tell her thanks for what, buddy?"

Sam looked at him with gratitude and said "For giving … me … your … Time."

Wordy knew exactly what Sam was referring to. They were thinking along the same lines. He replied "Always." Wordy then launched into telling Sam about the girls reactions to the movies. He was wrapping up as told him how Lilly had teased Allie. She said that Allie wanted to be Snow White but only if Sam was Prince Charming.

The room burst into laughter. Oh god he wanted to laugh so badly. Sam was clenching his jaw tightly and holding his arms around his ribs to protect himself if the laughter started. Wordy felt bad instantly as he saw Sam trying not to laugh.

"God I'm sorry I wasn't thinking. Shit, I caused you more pain." Worry and regret for his actions clearly showed.

Sam got himself under control as the others quickly stopped hearing Wordy's apology.

"It's … ok … no … worries" Sam grinned seeing an opening to relax Wordy by slightly changing his version of a Disney movie. He haltingly told them about his concept of Sleeping Beast, changing up and inserting Allie for the role of Jules based on how he had woken up to Allie holding his hand yesterday. He had the room rolling in laughter. Ed had piped in and said it should be called Napping Beast. More laughter from them ensued.

It felt nice. It felt almost normal. He kept his arms protectively around his ribs in case he laughed and he pressed the button. Speaking that much completely wore him out. The meds were slow to take effect. Actually he was wondering where the little surge of relief was, it didn't come. He thought maybe exhaustion was the reason and he wondered if he had enough energy reserve to talk to the next three. He had to get through this, he would find a way.

As the room quieted down Wordy said "Ready for Sarge, Jules or Spike?"

Feeling in a marginally lighter mood he thought he could probably handle Spike's emotions now. "Spike" he said.

Wordy headed for the door without another word. Ed and Scott shared a look. So far so good. They were making good progress. They both knew that Spike might inadvertently say something using the wrong words or react in a manner that would set Sam off. They were still not out of the woods completely so they stayed alert. All it would take is one wrong emotion or word.

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room_****_– _****_Settling with Spike_**

Wordy exited the room. Greg, Jules and Spike looked at him expectantly. "He's doing better. He still has humor but he is still fragile and in lots of pain. Go carefully. Keep it light and positive" he told them.

Lou looked at him and asked "What was all the laughter about? Real good to hear it but curious."

Wordy quickly shared Sam's idea for a movie. They all chuckled. Jules privately thought, nope not Allie, that role is mine, as she remembered the kiss she gave Sam.

Greg piped up "So who does he want to see now?"

"Spike" Wordy replied. Spike's face grew worried.

Jules reminded him "Hope and maybe optimism. Focus on those." Spike hugged her again and headed for the door.

In his head he repeated hope, hope, hope, trying to make that the only emotion. Then the word Samtastic hit him. Jeezus that's right this is Samtastic. Samtastic can do anything. A true huge grin covered his face as he bounded into the room.

"Hey Samtastic, I looooovvvve your idea for a movie but we gotta get you a hot leading lady. Who should it be?" he said with enthusiasm.

So totally not what he expected. Sam was taken aback by Spike's optimism and energy. He sat there his mouth open like a fly trap for several seconds before recovering and closing it.

Spike continued to rattle on taking the concept to absurd levels and suggesting all kinds of leading ladies. Ed, Scott and even the General made suggestions. Sam could only watch, soaking in the cheerfulness and positive vibes around him. It was doing wonders for lighting the dark corners that still lingered in his mind; making them gray and not pitch black.

He had finished his coffee and stared longingly down into the empty cup wishing for more. The old half full cup appeared next to the empty one. He looked up to see his dad holding it out. He exchanged cups and took a drink of the now cooled coffee.

His dad just cocked his head to the side slightly and returned to the conversation offering up another actress to play the part. The gesture was not lost on Sam. His dad was taking care of unvoiced wants and needs without making it seem like a big deal. How the hell was he doing that?

Sam's attention was drawn back to Spike as his whole body got very animated with the track he was on now. It was nice to see someone so charged with life and innocence. Spike was older than him but still so kid-like. He hoped Spike never lost that quality. He hoped he would never experience the horror life could bring and lose that joyfulness.

Spike could see that Sam was so tired and he could see pain etched around his eyes even though he had smiled. He still had Greg and Jules to meet with. So he decided it was time to cut it short. That way he could finish with them and get some much needed rest. "Samtastic, I think I should stop hogging your time and let you talk with Jules or the Boss. Which one do you want me to send in?"

Which one? Both represented potential doom. Which was worse at this moment? No job or no Jules? He had been driven to this point with fear of not working. The edge to that had been dulled somewhat by the reactions of his team. If he couldn't do the job anymore it would suck big time but he knew he would not lose Ed, Wordy, Spike or Lou. It would be hard to find something else to give life purpose. But he'd done it once; he could probably do it again with their help. They would help if it came to that. Of that he was damn certain.

But could he live without Jules? It was so new, only a few waking hours realization for him. He now knew there was a hunger so deep between them that he would starve without her. He couldn't bear it if she rejected him. His earlier thought that it would kill him instantly surged back to his mind.

Yes that was where the real danger lies. It scared the hell out of him to know her reaction. How much had she heard? What did she think of him? He thought of the banter they shared in the truck. He hadn't realized the underlying push-pull between them in those conversations but now it was clear in his mind.

Sam now understood his overwhelming need to protect her when they were on a call. It had hit him on the first call where Ed had assigned him to Sierra One and Jules was negotiating with the subject. His heart raced and he had trouble calming himself as he saw the gunman start to point the weapon towards her.

He had taken the shot without Boss or Ed giving the order. They had ranted at him for hours in debriefing over that one after he returned from SIU. They went on and on about how SRU was different from the Army and they were subjects not targets. It was the one time he felt absolutely no guilt at all for disobeying protocols or taking a life. That had confused him and that was what he was really focused on as they yelled at him.

All he had done when they were finished was nod. He didn't even respond with his pat answer of 'Yes Sir, won't happen again'. He had come to the conclusion as they yelled he couldn't respond because if it ever came down to it again, he knew he would do the same damned thing. Jules would always be placed before any subject. Luckily SIU had judged it an appropriate use of lethal force even without the order being given.

His mind settled and he chose. He could probably make it without the job. But that life would not be worth living without Jules. "Sarge" he said so quiet and tentatively.

He pressed his button. Again he didn't feel the relief it usually brought. His pain kept increasing. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes trying to control it and gather strength to tackle the meeting with his boss.

* * *

**_Hospital – Outside Sam's Room_**

Spike was in the hall in moments later. He looked at Greg. "Boss he wants you next."

Greg saw something cross Spike's face and he was a bit unsettled "What's wrong?"

Spike said "Nothing really, just a weird vibe I got when I asked who he wanted next."

"What was it?" Jules asked.

"Well it took him sometime to decide. It was like he was considering two evils."

They both glared at him 'evils'.

"Sorry that's not the right word. It was like he was deciding who would be worse."

Crap they glared at him again. How could he say this without Jules slugging him?

"The looks crossing his face, he was really worried how you two would react I think. It was kinda like, I don't know, like he could not bear to be seen as less by either of you. Like it would hurt him a great deal if you rejected him because of what you saw and heard."

Oh good Jules dropped her arms and stopped glaring at him.

Greg and Jules looked at each other. Jules good at profiling had one thought pop into her head. "Boss, do you think he's worried about losing his job. Being seen as unstable because of all of that has happened since he appeared at SRU HQ the morning after the gang war?"

Greg rubbed both hands over his head and across his eyes several times. He didn't want to admit to any of his team he had had thoughts along those lines. Not even to Ed, though Ed probably already knew, he was special that way. But he especially did not want to let Jules or Spike know he was thinking this.

They would bite his head off. But the entire team's safety was his primary concern so yes he had to consider that possibility. So he said "Let's just focus on getting him through this crisis. That's what is important now. That is the priority right now." He pushed himself off the wall and headed to the door.

Jules and Spike shared a look. Spike spoke what they both felt "There is no way in hell I'm letting the boss remove Sam from the team."


	41. Trust, I'm Okay, I'm Great

**Trust, I'm Okay, I'm Great**

* * *

**_Hospital – Day 2 Recovery – Inside Sam's Room_****  
**

Greg brushed away the thoughts Jules had brought forward as he entered the room. For now it was important to get Sam back on his feet. The rest they had time to figure out. His physical recovery time would give them ample time to assess if there were any psychological issues to be worried about.

It was nice to see he had good visits with Lou, Wordy and now Spike. He assumed it went well with his dad because he had stayed in the room with Sam. He was feeling more positive, his team was getting grounded again. Necessary because they were on shift tomorrow. The scene that met him in Sam's room was both touching and upsetting.

The General was next to Sam's bed his face close to Sam's. His hand rested lightly on the side of Sam's face in a fatherly caress trying to ease and comfort. The General was speaking in hushed under tones, his voice not carrying beyond their tight bubble.

Greg recognized signs of intense pain on Sam's face but also that he looked to his father for support. They had started to reconcile. They had forgiven and beginning to accept one another. That was a magnificent sight to see aside from the pain on Sam's face. The pain he saw upset him. He looked to Ed who was seated in a chair not far from Sam. Ed gave him a look that communicated 'the General has it covered'.

When Spike had left the room the General saw Samuel lay back and close his eyes. Samuel had not said a single word when Spike was in the room except to say Sarge when asked who was next. He had watched the play of emotions and could tell he was conflicted about something.

The General had risen from the chair as soon as Spike headed for the door. He had gotten very close to Samuel intending to see if he could help with the conflict. What he saw close up was not good. Pain was etched too deeply.

In a hushed tone he said "Son. I can see you are in pain. You need help with that." Sam opened his eyes and found his dad so close to his face.

His dad raised his hand and brushed the side of his face. Sam flinched away and closed his eyes trying to control the pain. He could do this he didn't need help it was just pain he told himself.

"Have you been pushing the button?" the General asked.

Sam opened his eyes. The General saw the same intense pain and annoyance.

"Yes" he bit out, like he'd been asked a stupid question. Sam had no clue why the pain was so intense he had been pressing the damned button regularly trying to stay on top of the pain like the nurse instructed. Why weren't the pain meds working?

His dad brushed the side of his face again. A new crest of pain hit him and Sam did not flinch away this time. He closed his eyes and leaned his face into the comforting touch. It hurt so badly.

"What's the pain level?" the General asked quickly.

"Ten" was all Sam could manage to grind out between clenched teeth.

"Trust me to help you" his dad whispered so only Samuel could hear.

Sam's breathing was nothing but short shallow breaths as yet another wave of pain slammed into him. Sam's hand reached out for his dad. It was beyond his control now.

The General saw the motion of Samuel's hand and quickly gripped it giving him an anchor.

Sam squeezed with all his might as a grimace seized his face and he barely ground out "Help." He forced his eyes open.

General Braddock saw pleading and trust reflected in his son's eyes. "Hold on son. Helps on the way" the General softly crooned.

Turning to Scott the General urgently said "We need the nurse now."

Scott was out of the room in a flash. Running passed a startled Greg and outside the room passed a surprised Jules, Spike, Wordy and Lou. They exchanged looks wondering what was going on in there.

The General turned back to Samuel and continued to speak softly to him and stroke his face trying to get him to relax and breathe through the pain. Sam continued to mangle his dad's hand with the sheer power of his grip as the pain overwhelmed him.

Nurse Bettie rushed into the room followed closely by Scott. She checked the pain pump monitor then the vial. She said calmly "It's out; has been for quite some time. He hasn't been getting any pain meds for several hours. I'll be back quickly." She left the room at a fast pace.

Ed was out of the chair and hastily moved close to Sam "Hang in there Samo." Christ could this kid not get at least one little break.

Scott stood on the opposite side of the bed. "Cuz, so sorry I didn't notice it was out. Hold on relief is coming." Scott was mentally kicking himself for not watching that.

Greg stood just inside the room but well away from Sam giving him as much space as possible. It was terrible to see him in pain. He wished the nurse was back already. He was about to go see what was taking the nurse so long when Bettie reentered the room with a middle aged woman.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Eva Larsson, Sam's pulmonologist. I understand we are having an issue with pain control." The doctor had been on her way to meet with Sam when a very upset nurse arrived at the station. She quickly got the gist of what happened and told the nurse she would take care of it.

The General offered "He needs relief now. What can we do for him?"

She looked to the patient that was so beyond the ability to maintain control of his pain and moved forward to quickly make her assessment. When she was done she looked to the man who spoke before, father she guessed and directed her comments to him.

Speaking rapidly Dr. Larsson informed them "I'd like to do a nerve block now. It is a simple procedure that will give him complete pain relief for days. He needs to have the pain adequately controlled so he can breathe deeply and cough. This shallow breathing will cause more problems and slow healing of his lungs. Later we can determine if it needs to be repeated or if oral meds will control the pain. Do you authorize the procedure?"

All four men loudly said "Yes" astonishing the doctor. Dr. Larsson swiftly left the room to make the arrangements. Two orderlies returned to his room within two minutes and took Sam out followed by the General. Greg and Ed went into the hall to update the team. Scott sank down into a chair totally exhausted.

Scott's phone was vibrating. He took it out of his pocket and looked at the number display. Oh shit he thought. "Hello babe. I'm so sorry I didn't call."

_["No worries. Is Sam doing better?" Laura asked.]_

"No he is not doing well right now. I can't leave him. I don't know when I can join you. I'm so sorry."

_[Laura was saddened to hear Sam was not doing better. She could hear the worry and fatigue in her husbands voice. She spoke reassuring words of comfort to him for several minutes. She ended saying "Don't worry about me I'm fine right here. You take all the time you need. Sam needs you right now. I'm glad you are there for him in his time of need. I wish there was more I could do."] _

Scott's tension had flowed at a steady speed out from his body replaced by calm as he listened to his wife. Laura always knew the right thing to say. Scott spilled out all that had happened, all his worries, how happy he was Sam and his dad had reconciled and his wish that all his cousins could be here to help Sam with his recovery.

When he finished their conversation and he finally hung up the phone he felt refreshed. Talking to her always restored him. He thought damn glad I finally got up the nerve to ask her to marry me. He had been intimidated by her father. It was not an easy thing to do to a Braddock but given who her father was it was understandable.

* * *

**_Royal York Hotel – Main Suite - Laura_**

Laura sat on the sofa with her feet tucked under her. Worry etched into her face. She had never heard so much aching in Scott's voice before. She hadn't met Sam yet but could almost physically feel the desperate need in Scott to be there for is younger cousin.

Scott had shared with her the details of Sam's past during their nightly phone conversations over the past weeks. She needed to do something to help. But what could she do? A thought struck her as a smile removed the worry. Yes she could do that.

Taking out her phone she hit #2 on her speed dial when the call was answered she said "Hi dad, do you have a moment to talk?"

* * *

**_Hospital – Procedure Room_**

Dr. Larsson had finished the procedure and looked down at the young man and asked "Better?"

Sam's face was smooth and relaxed now as was his entire body "Yeah" he sighed.

"Good. Now remember this should last for several days. We need to have a conversation about what you need to do to get those lungs of yours back into shape. But for now I need you to be diligent and the first sign you feel pain you let me know. There is no need to be in pain. You got that? What is your level now?" she asked.

Sam replied "Level two but … mostly just aching muscles … in my arms and legs. … No pain with … breathing." He was happy he was able to breathe and speak more normally now. That felt awesome. He gave her a big smile as he said "Thanks doc."

His beautiful smile was wonderful to see. "Okay, well let's get you back to those friends of yours. They looked pretty darned worried. They'll be happy to see you doing better. Although I want you to keep it short with them. No more than a few moments just to reassure them. You are exhausted and need some rest. Got it?"

He nodded yes ans she continued "I'll be by tomorrow to discuss your recovery plan in detail."

Sam looked at her liking her positive manner so asked "Will they ... recover enough … for me to return … to work?"

She looked directly in his eyes and said "A lot of that depends on you. Based on what I see it will be hard but not impossible. But if you do _exactly_ what I tell you and work hard I'd be comfortable saying you have a high probability of making that happen. You just have to want it badly enough."

Sam soared into the light, darkness obliterated from the corners of his mind.

* * *

**_Hospital – Outside Sam's Room_**

The General had returned to Samuel's room when the doctor took Samuel in to do the procedure. She told him it would be about an hour before Samuel would be returned to his room. So he decided to return and wait with the others. Rounding the corner of the nurse station he saw the tired rag tag bunch milling in the hall. These people cared so much for Samuel and he was truly grateful.

A little over an hour later the group tensed when they saw the orderlies were bringing Sam back.

The team had all risen from the floor. They steeled themselves not knowing what to expect. The bed stopped in front of the door as one of the orderlies went to prop it open.

They were blown away by what they saw and heard.

Sam gave them all a bright smile and said "Hi, pains gone … I'm okay now … doc says I have … to rest. Boss, Jules can I … talk to you … tomorrow?" He yawned and they could see he was barely keeping his eyes open.

Flabbergasted by the one-hundred eighty degree change in his rookie Greg stammered out "Sure Sam. We will be by after shift tomorrow".

Sam pulled strength from deep down to open his eyes fully and pointedly looked at Greg and said with conviction "Boss I'm gonna … make it back to the … team. Don't fill my spot."

Greg smiled and replied firmly "I believe you. Your spot will be waiting for you no matter how long it takes. Rest now, we'll talk later."

Ed moved close and with a mixture of wonder and still some worry and said "Do you want me to stay?"

Sam gave him a tired lopsided smile, eyes closed half way and said "Nah, I'm good now. … Thanks. You all need … sleep. Ya can't be napping … on the job … tomorrow."

They could see that sleep was about to overtake him so the team quickly told him see ya later and that they would be back after shift tomorrow. The orderlies pushed a sleeping Sam into his room followed by the General and Scott.

Greg looked at the team and said "Resilience! I've never seen anyone with resilience like that" and shook his head. He knew Sam was gonna make it back. There was no doubt now. Damn proud of the kid he mused.

Spike was beside himself with joy "Soooo glad to see Samtastic on the mend."

Wordy looked at them all and said "We ought to go. Sam's right we need sleep. Ten to one we catch Ed napping tomorrow." Everyone laughed at that and they started making bets on who would be caught napping and where as they left the hospital.

On her way out with the team Jules thought I'll grab a few hours of sleep then pop back here before shift starts. I'm not waiting another full day to talk to him.

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room_**

As Sam slept the General and Scott discussed a plan of action. Sam needed to be out of a hospital. He would recover faster. Whatever Dr. Larsson had done or said had made a significant impact on Sam. The light had returned to his eyes. They liked her and made an appointment to talk with her before she saw Sam tomorrow. For their plan to work they needed to find out what happened and to get her on board.

Scott looked at the General and said "Uncle Will, you should go get some sleep. I'll stay with him."

The General looked at Scott and said "No, I'll stay. You look dead on your feet and your wife is waiting for you at the hotel. You know you never want to make her angry. Might cost you dearly. You're a brave man to marry her." He chuckled as he sat in the recliner and pulled the foot rest up.

Scott blanched a bit at that thought then smiled broadly. He rose and told the General he would see him tomorrow morning. He took one last look at Sam and headed out the door.

The General took a long look at Samuel. It felt damned good to finally have his son back. He then leaned the chair back closed his eyes and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

**_Hospital – Day 3 Recovery – Inside Sam's Room – 2 am_**

Sam woke slowly. He could hear someone quietly enter his room. He opened his eyes a slit to check who. It was Jules. The General was asleep in the recliner but no one else was in the room. Jules was cautiously moving nearer to his bed in the darkened room.

He opened his eyes and said "Jules."

It startled her a bit, she thought he was sleeping but responded "Sam" and quickly closed the distance to the bed.

He smiled. She smiled. His stomach roared. They chuckled quietly not wanting to wake the General.

She said "It sounds angry, better feed it."

Remembering the truck conversation he replied "Would if I could." He gave her a begging look reminiscent of that day and said "You wouldn't happen … to have a … power bar to share?"

She dug in her purse and pulled one out. "You probably shouldn't eat this. You haven't had anything solid for so long. Can your stomach handle it? You should be careful. Just sayin." She said as she gave him the look and waggled it just out of his reach.

He just gave her his WOW smile.

She gently tossed it to him as she said "Hey soldier, think fast."

He opened it and took a very small bite. Jules was right, he should be careful. As he nibbled on the bar only eating a few bites of it they quietly enjoyed their push-pull banter. Jules checked her watch and couldn't believe that two and half hours had gone by.

She rose from the chair and said "Gotta go. Can't be late for morning workout." Then with a mischievous glint to her eyes and humor lacing her words added "Ya know how that makes Ed feel no one is respecting his authority. Don't want extra cleaning duty."

Sam laughed lightly and grinned.

Jules smiled back to him "I'll see ya after shift with the guys. Okay?"

Sam nodded his eyes turning serious and finding hers. With a rough huskiness to his voice said "Jules. Thanks for coming. … It means a lot … to me."

She lightly slugged his arm. "You better get yourself better fast and get back to the team. Spike is driving me nuts. I need you to run interference or else he's gonna be bruised" she teased trying to cover the sensuous reaction his husky voice had elicited in her. She gave him a quick hug and lightly brushed her fingers through his hair "See ya later Sam."

He watched as she exited the room. Sam sighed deeply and his body relaxed completely. He had been so afraid she would reject him.

The General smiled inwardly not changing his breathing appearing to all to be asleep. He had overheard their entire exchange. Not want to eavesdrop but not wanting to interrupt them more he had pretended to be asleep. Samuel had it bad for her. Jules had it bad for him. That would be an interesting relationship. Samuel was happy, that made him happy.

Sam settled back on the bed and closed his eyes and said "Dad, … I know you're awake … and yes, I'm happy. … I'm great. … I finally belong."


	42. Eventful Day

**Eventful Day: Meeting Laura, Home, Laura's Dad, the Proposal, Greg, Jules, Team**

* * *

**_Hospital – Day 3 Recovery – Inside Sam's Room – 6 am_****  
**

The General woke with a start his heart racing. He scanned the room and settled down. He saw that Samuel was peacefully sleeping. He inhaled and exhaled several times to calm the erratic beating then finally blew out the last breath as it returned to normal.

That damn nightmare had been playing in his mind for the last three weeks. Seeing Samuel fall to the ground next to him in the church courtyard over and over was tearing his heart out. Seeing him sleeping soundly now without the furrow of pain that had been constant felt so good. Maybe this image would stop the nightmare.

He chuckled to himself when he remembered last night. Just how the hell did Samuel know he was awake? More even how had he known to answer 'yes he was happy'? Their connection must be deeper than either thought. Like when he knew what Samuel was thinking about the coffee. But damn, he had visual clues for that, Samuel didn't. The level of trust his son showed him by allowing him to overhear the conversation with Jules staggered him.

He was feeling good this morning as he pulled out his phone and looked at the time. Yes she will be awake. I need to hear her delightful voice. He dialed his favorite number. When she answered he said "Good morning beautiful. Want some good news?"

_["Well good morning to you too handsome. Been hoping you would call. Yes I'd love some." Yvonne answered brightly.]_

"I'm bringing our boy home. Soon."

_[Yvonne excitedly said "Really how soon. Tell me about it. How is he really doing?"]_

The General spent an hour conversing with his wife telling her about what had happened but shielding her from the most painful events. She never needed to know how badly her son had been hurt; it would shatter her heart. He focused on how Samuel's team had been there for him.

She had laughed so hard when he described Spike's antics. When he told her about little Allie and 'Prince Charming' and the wall full of colorful drawings she insisted he take a picture and send it to her. Then he shifted to the plan that Scott and he had come up with "So, if the doctors and Samuel agree we should be headed home in the next day or so."

_["I've missed him so very much Will. Please do what you can to convince him to come home for a bit. Should I prepare his room or one of the guest rooms on the first floor?" she asked.]_

"Given his fragile state right now, stairs are out of the question. Guest room would be best. Scott and Laura are coming too at least for the remainder of his leave. Has five or six days left I think" the General responded.

They concluded their call swapping 'I love you' and 'see you soon'. After he hung up he looked again at Samuel, smiled and rose to go get some coffee before Dr. Larsson showed up.

* * *

**_Hospital – Outside Sam's Room – 7:15 am_**

The General took five steps from Samuel's room when he saw Scott and Laura rounding the nurse station heading for the room. He was carrying a tray and she had a large bag. As they got closer he said "Good morning" and moved to hug Laura. "It's been way too long since I last saw you. Just after your honeymoon I think. Looking lovely as always."

Laura hugged him back and blushed lightly. She held up the bag and pointed to the tray and said "Thought you might like some breakfast sandwiches and some decent coffee." She lifted one of the cups and said "Black two sugars right?" as she handed him a large cup of Timmy's.

"Thanks" and he sighed taking a long drink.

"How's Sam?" Scott asked.

"Sleeping peacefully still. Woke for a bit in the night but went back to sleep no problem. He was so exhausted he will probably sleep most the day away" the General answered as they headed toward Samuel's room. "Yvonne is preparing rooms for you. Hope we are successful with the doctor."

Scott stopped Laura before she could enter. "So now you remember you married me. No regrets about not getting the younger better version" he said in mock sternness then laughed.

She knew that Scott's mom and Sam's mom were twin sisters, she liked them both. But come on. If he and his own brother Kyle didn't look like twins no way would he and his cousin looked like twins. The Braddock 'boys', as she referred to the collective of bothers and cousins were always teasing her with their warped sense of humor. Always trying to get a rise out of her and make her lose her calm. It never worked she was always smooth and steady with them; unflappable even.

This so had the earmarks of one of their silly, boyish long cons. She didn't quite get the point of this one. It was a weird one for sure but they did have an odd sense of humor. Adam and Jeff had even gone so far to set it up calling her to tell her about one of Sam's teammate's reactions to meeting Scott. Telling her how confused it made Scott. Rarely was Scott confused. Although she didn't get this one yet, she also didn't believe it for a minute. How gullible did they think she was?

So she simply smiled and said "Knock it off already, not gonna fall for it. You two are cousins. How alike can you really be? I'm sure you and the 'boys' are pulling my leg. You and Kyle look like brothers but not twins. So as cousins, I doubt Sam and you look that much alike. I mean come on you have different fathers and all."

Scott just shrugged his shoulders and cocked his head looking at her "I'm not lying babe. Don't say I didn't warn ya" then he strode in before her.

Just as she started in the door she heard the General say "Morning son. Sleep well?" She thought good he's up; looking forward to meeting him finally.

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room – 7:20 am_**

Laura walked in and looked toward the bed. She stopped dead right next to Scott "Holy f'ing crap" she blurted out loudly. Her hand flew to her mouth not believing what came out. She never cussed. She was starring open mouthed at an exact copy of her husband albeit slightly younger. The bag of breakfast sandwiches dropped to the floor. She turned and slugged Scott in the arm.

"Ow'" Scott yipped and was dumbfounded. What the hell just happened? Where was his calm, sweet, unflappable wife? Sam and the General laughed at Scott's reaction. The look on his face when she hit him was absolutely priceless. He was totally confused. Not an easy thing to do with Scott. Of all the cousins Scott was the cool collected one. He was rarely confused; it happened but not often. Sam braced his ribs with his arms unable to stop laughing.

Laura was scrambling to regain her proper, calm demeanor. "Sorry, I … but damn" shocked at another cuss word out of her "… I mean darn … my god" yet another "my goodness … you two are the same … you sure you don't have the same dad?" Then she blushed totally red realizing what she had just implied. She slugged Scott again even harder then started to speed from the room thoroughly embarrassed by her reaction and outburst.

Scott quickly wrapped his arms around her stopping her from leaving and hugged her tightly. "It's alright babe, but I did warn you" and he planted a big kiss on her. Sam and the General were still laughing. It took Scott a good five minutes talking in hushed tones to her before she calmed enough and would turn around and face the General and Sam.

Sam and the General had eventually quieted down as Scott talked to Laura. The General had retrieved the bag of sandwiches and was munching on one. Sam was sipping the iced capp they had brought for him and looking longingly at the sandwich but unsure if he was allowed to eat yet.

When Laura finally faced them Sam smiled brightly and said "Morning Laura. … I'm Sam. … Nice to meet the lady … that can confound … Scott with … a single touch … rather hard to do" with an implication on the word 'touch' to really mean 'jab to the arm'. He extended his hand to her.

The pink blush had not completely left her face and she moved forward thinking the 'boys' are never gonna let this drop. She will be teased from here to eternity for losing her calm today. But she smiled sweetly and ignored his hand as she pulled him into a gentle hug.

As she hugged Sam Laura said "We've been so worried about you. It is so nice to finally meet you. Sorry for my reaction it totally shocked me that you are his doppelganger." Then she released him from the hug and they exchanged a few more typical pleasantries one does when meeting someone for the first time.

Scott was still rubbing his arm as he watched Laura closely. Damn that hurt. The General voiced his very thought "She and Jules would get along perfectly. Both have a solid right jab." More laughter ensued and Laura joined in as the pink blush increased.

It was this scene that Dr. Larsson walked into. She smiled. What a huge difference from yesterday. "Good morning all." She looked at the General and said "My office said you wanted to talk to me."

Sam gave his dad a questioning look "What? Why?"

The General stated calmly "I want to take you home. I want you close. I want to help you recover so you can return to your team. I want you to be out of a hospital. But we need the doctor to agree it is in your best interest and help make the appropriate arrangements."

Sam stared at nothing. 'Home' was the only thought in his head. He was pulled from his single thought with several voices calling his name. He shook his head and looked at his dad "I'd like that" and sipped his ice capp.

The worry that had been increasing in the General as Samuel was unresponsive for several minutes disappeared immediately. He looked to the doctor "So is it possible? What do we need to get Samuel home?"

Laura sat back and watched the four of them discuss and decide on a plan. She liked how the doctor was so willing to help. She asked where home was and when told Ottawa she said she had several contacts there who would help. She would arrange for a light duty nurse, respiratory therapist and all necessary supplies.

Dr. Larsson looked directly at Sam "So Sam, the only condition is that you need to agree to do everything as I instruct. I mean everything. No I'm special forces I can do anything crap. This includes keeping the oxygen on 24/7, except for bathing and keeping your pain level to less than five."

"You will not heal properly if you do not have the right oxygen level and cannot breathe deeply and you cannot breathe deeply if you are in pain. I know your type, hate pain medications but in this case they are your best friend. They will help you get back to that team of yours. Got it?"

Sam said "Got it doc. … Thank you." He really liked her no nonsense but positive manner.

Looking at the General she said "I also need you to bring him to my office for a recheck every three days at first. I know it is a long distance but I can see that maintaining the nerve block might be the best way to handle Sam's pain at least for the first few weeks."

"Not a problem only an hour flight each way" the General stated. "Assuming it is okay for him to fly." She nodded yes and they discussed a few more items and made plans.

The doctor concluded "We will get things rolling. I think we can get you out of here in two or three days. We just need to see how long the block lasts and do one just before you leave. Sound good?" Everyone nodded yes.

The doctor was almost out of the room when Sam called after her "Doc." She stopped at the door and turned to face him. "How long will … it take to … recover?"

She considered his question "You've done a lot of tactical planning right?"

Thrown off by the question Sam answered "Yeah, why?"

"If someone asked you to give a definitive answer on how a scenario would go given many variables, how would you answer them?" she responded.

Sam reflected on what she said and understood perfectly. She could not give him an answer. "Got it. … too many factors … plan, execute and adjust." He was good at that. He could do that. She smiled in answer and left. Sam looked at the three in the room "Gonna rest now" then laid back, closed his eyes and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room – 1 pm_**

Sam woke after a very long nap. He looked around and found that Laura was the only one in the room. She was busy reading a book. "Hi."

Laura looked up and said "Hello, have a nice rest?" Sam nodded. "Scott and your dad headed out to get things rolling. I offered to stay in case you wanted company."

Sam's stomach roared. "Wow sounds angry you should feed it." Sam snorted and smirked. She looked at him questioningly. He slowly explained what happened when Scott met Jules and now how she said nearly the same thing as Jules did. They laughed. She told him that she thought the 'boys' were pulling a prank on her telling her about Jules reaction. She said she couldn't wait to meet Jules.

They enjoyed a pleasant conversation with Laura doing most of the talking. She shared how she and Scott had met and how long it took him to finally pop the question. Giggling she finished "Yeah he was so intimidate by my dad. I thought he'd never ask."

"I can understand that" Sam said seriously. Then he asked "So how … is the … Commander-in-Chief?"

"Good thanks, he sends his regards to you and hopes you recover quickly. He was really upset to find out about all the stuff that happened to you in Afghanistan. He really blew his top. I've never heard him raving so loudly. I think several heads are going to roll by the time he finishes the thorough investigation. He said something like that should never have happened to one of his soldiers and he is going to make sure it can never happen to anyone else."

Sam was surprised by that "I thought … everyone involved was … dead or being … court-martialed. What else needs … to be investigated?"

"Not sure, not privy to all the details. I was just at home the night that he got the call from your dad and couldn't help to over hear him as he yelled. Thought the roof was going to come down he was so loud. He thundered around the house the whole night." She shuddered remembering the maelstrom of that night.

Remembering his roaring stomach from earlier she said "Hey, you want me to check with the nurse to see if they have something you can eat, broth or jello or something?"

Sam said "That would … be nice." Laura popped up and headed out the door.

He thought about the investigation wondering if there might be more to it than one psycho that hated his dad so much. Sam wondered if he should attend Merrill's court martial. Man he is sick. Sam was musing on why he managed to attracted so many mad men recalling each Donner, Murphy, Merrill and Plouffe when Patch entered.

"Hey Sam. God it's good to see you awake and not in pain. How ya doing?" Patch said.

Sam looked at him curiously he called him Sam not Blondie. Never had that happened. From day one with the unit it had always been Blondie. "I'm good Patch." Sam saw a strange look cross Patch's face "What's wrong?"

He shifted on his feet not wanting to hurt Sam's feelings but needing to say it "It's just, well, ya know, umm, I …"

"Spit it out … man, just say it" Sam said concerned for a man he considered his brother. Something was definitely bothering him.

"Call me Jim please" Patch said hurriedly and looked at Sam with uncertainty.

"Sure, Why?" half knowing what he was going to say. If it was that, he felt the same way.

"Gotta move forward. Need to leave the hurt behind. Not the brothers just the leave the past in the past. Patch is past. Jim is future" he looked to Sam waiting for his reaction hoping he did not hurt him.

"I understand. … I agree. … Jim" Sam opened his arms. Jim moved forward and they hugged. As they hugged Sam softly said "Is Heather your future?"

Jim pulled away quickly and looked at him in shock "How the hell do you always know things? You know them even before I do."

"Just special I guess." Sam smiled mischievously as he saw Heather in the doorway "So is … Heather the one?"

"Yeah, I know it is quick. We only have had one official date but I already bought a ring. I carry it with me everywhere. I'm trying to decide how long would be long enough before I ask her to marry me. I hate having to wait. I would do it today if I could" Jim said in a frustrated voice.

"Then do it" Heather responded firmly.

Jim pivoted instantly to the door a shock wave bowled through his entire body.

He reached in his pocket and withdrew a small velvet box, dropped to one knee and murmured "Heather will you be my future? Will you marry me?"

"She skipped to him wrapped her arms around him "Yes, most definitely yes!" and kissed him.

Sam could only stare. That totally was not what he expected. He just wanted to tease Jim when he saw Heather in the doorway. He was happy for him, for them. They were a perfect match for each other.

Laura returned to the room to find two people she didn't know kneeling on the floor and kissing passionately. She looked to Sam as she skirted around them. "Uh I leave you alone for a second and …" she waved her hand towards Jim and Heather, who were aware of no other at the moment. Laura was unsure just what was going on or what to say.

Sam looked to Laura and saw she had broth and jello "Yum, that for me?" reaching for the jello.

Laura absentmindedly handed it to him as she continued to stare at the couple on the floor.

"Spoon?"

Still gaping in awe at the couple locked in a passionate kiss on the floor Laura moved a spoon in Sam's general direction.

Sam reached out for the spoon "Jim just asked … Heather to marry … him… she said yes" he said before taking a spoonful of jello. Laura managed to find the chair and sat down smiling at the spectacle.

Jim and Heather finally registered where they were. They stood and turned toward Sam. Heather beamed brightly. Jim beamed just as bright as he said "She said Yes."

Sam took another spoonful and said "uh huh, … I see that."

Then a thought crossed Jim's mind "Did you? You knew she was there!"

"uh huh" Sam said through another bite and smiled.

"I should kill you for that" Jim said in a brotherly teasing threat.

"Why? … She said yes" Sam laughed as another spoonful went into his mouth. God he was starving. Laura was now in a fit of giggles watching them.

Heather ran to Sam's bed and hugged him "Thanks Sam."

"Least I could do" he peered down at his empty jello cup wishing there was more. "Ya know where … they keep … more of these?" he asked her and gave her a boyish grin.

"Sure anything for Samtastic. Be right back." In no time at all she returned with half a dozen. She plopped them down on his table then handed him one.

Sam looked at the two of them as Jim put his arm around Heather's shoulder "Congrats. So when's … the wedding?" and dug into the jello.

The four of them talked for quite some time. Sam mostly listened and polished off all six of the jellos. They decided they wanted to marry quickly but were going to wait until Sam was well enough to be Jim's best man.

Sam hated that he tired so easily. He laid back and closed his eyes intending to just relax for a few minutes. Jim noticed that Sam had fallen asleep. So he and Heather excused themselves and asked Laura to tell him they had said goodbye and they would be by sometime tomorrow.

As they left she called out to them "Congratulations you two."

Laura thought that they would enjoy sharing that proposal story for years to come. She picked up her book and settled back to read a bit. She looked at Sam, what an interesting man. So much like Scott but Scott's the one for me. Laura turned to her page and began reading the epic story; it was long, slow in parts, but mostly good.

* * *

**_Hospital – Outside Sam's Room – 7 pm_**

Team One had an uneventful shift. They were all extremely glad for that. A day spent patrolling with no incidents; almost unheard of. They had all showered and changed quickly so they could head over to visit with Sam. They piled into the minivan express as they called Wordy's car. They decided that Greg would go in alone and then to allow Jules time alone too. Then if Sam was up to it they would all visit with him.

Greg knocked on the door lightly and opened it to peer inside. "Okay to come in?"

Scott strode over and opened the door "Sure, he's still asleep though. He had an eventful day today." The smile on his face dispelled any worry that those words would have typically caused.

Ed asked "How so?"

Scott not wanting to wake Sam walked into the hall with the team. He then related the story of meeting Laura. Jules just growled at them when they started teasing about the right jabs but they stopped after she hit Spike.

"Ow. I didn't even tease you. Why me you should hit Ed he was the worst?" Spike grumbled playfully.

He then told them about Jim and Heather's proposal. Finally he shared with them the conversation with Dr. Larsson and that Sam had agreed to the plan to go home for a time. That news made the team both happy and sad. They understood the need and that it was best for Sam. But they would miss him while he was gone. As Scott was telling them all the details that he and the General had worked out today the General opened the door.

"He just woke up if you want to visit with him" the General stated as he joined them in the hall. Greg moved forward to go in.

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room – Settling with Greg_**

The only two in the room were Sam and a young lady sitting with her feet tucked under her in the recliner. She looked up when he entered.

Sam said "Boss. This is … Scott's wife Laura. … Laura this is my … Boss Greg Parker."

"Nice to meet you Laura" Greg said.

"Likewise sir, Sam has lots of nice things to say about you" Laura asserted. Sam blushed slightly. "I think I'll head out and let you gentlemen talk" she unfurled and slid her feet into her sandals and strolled from the room.

Greg grabbed a chair and pulled it near the bed while assessing Sam. He looked tired but not in pain, thank god. There was a glint in his eyes and calmness to his face. "How are you holding up Sam?"

"I'm good sir. Amazing … what no … pain can do … for you" Sam simply said.

Greg just nodded his head. How to approach the subject? Head on may be the best approach. He rubbed his hand over his head. Sam saw the motion.

"Boss. I know … you are worried … for the team. … Do I pose a risk?" Greg tried to interrupt but Sam stopped him putting up a hand and saying "I get it … I do. … If I was in your … position I would … have to consider … it too. Coming back … physically is not … guaranteed. … As much as I … wish it could be … there are too many … variables. I plan to … work very hard … to make that happen. … Coming back is … important to me … so I am willing … to do anything you … need me to do … to prove that … I'm not a risk … to the team."

Sam had had a long conversation with his dad and Scott regarding this subject so Sam was prepared. Even though he didn't really think he needed it he would even agree to sessions with a psychologist if that is what Greg needed him to do.

Greg considered what Sam said for a long moment. He was good at profiling, at reading people but Sam was always tough to read. He had so many masks he could slip on to fool people. But the eyes, the truth was usually there in everyone if you looked close enough. He looked at Sam and Sam locked eyes with him. It was like the kid knew what he was thinking.

What he saw reflected in Sam's eyes was yearning, rationality and strength. Rubbing his head again Greg finally declared "Let's play it by ear Sam. Focus on the physical right now. That's a long, hard road. In a few weeks let's talk again. I really want you to make it back. But you are right it is my job to protect the entire team."

"That said, you do know that it would also harm the team if you don't make it back. So I expect you to do everything in your power to get back to us. We need you. You are part of our family. But you need to know, even if you don't make it back you will never lose us. We are your family now no matter what. You belong. Whatever we can do to help we will. You understand?"

"Copy that" Sam stated with determination.

"Ready to talk with Jules?" Greg asked

Smiling Sam said "Yeah." Greg headed to the door.

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room – Settling with Jules Again_**

Jules entered the room smiling at Sam. "Missed ya in the truck. Lou is just not as fun to talk to as you. I see they brought you jello. What's your favorite?"

She stood at the head of his bed and unconsciously stroked his hair. Sam relished the feeling and made no comment about it.

"Bored huh? … Not a fan of hockey. … Green" Sam responded and off they launched into the multi-leveled conversation.

A few moments into the conversation she realized what she was doing to his hair. She stopped and went to the table to get him green jello and a spoon. She handed it to him and he smiled broadly. They were getting very comfortable being in each other's company but the fission of heat and something more was always just below the surface.

They were enjoying their conversation very much. At one point they had five different topics going at once. So absorbed in each other they didn't realize how much time had passed until there was a tentative knock at the door. The General stuck his head in and said "Everything okay in here? If so the others would like to visit a bit too."

Sam looked to his dad a bit sheepishly and said "Yeah, Send … them in."

Spike, Wordy, Lou, Ed, and Greg all entered. Sam asked where the General, Scott and Laura went. Greg told him they went to eat some decent food and Scott would be back later tonight to sit with him.

"So, you played matchmaker today huh" Wordy declared. Sam just laughed.

"You're going home for a bit. Glad to hear" Lou stated.

"Should be interesting. … Haven't been … home for more than … one night in the … past seven years. So much has changed … in the past few weeks. I'm not really sure … what to expect. Looking forward … to seeing my mom … though. The General … said she would be … here now but she … got sick so … he had to send her … home. Scares me … a bit to go home" he confided to the team.

"Can we come visit?" Spike asked hopefully.

Sam replied "Up to the General … and Mom. I'll be … back every three days … for the first … few weeks. I'll wrangle … a visit to the barn … if I can. Gonna … miss seeing you … guys every day. … Keep the peace … while I'm gone and … don't get a temporary … you like better than me."

"Never gonna happen" Spike, Wordy and Lou all said at once. Everyone laughed.

"No one can replace Samtastic" Jules offered lightly and smiled at Sam.


	43. Tired, Justice for Blondie, JSTF & Mason

**Tired, Justice for Blondie, JSTF &amp; Mason**

* * *

**_Hospital – Day 7 Recovery – Inside Sam's Room – 9 am_****  
**

The last three days had been exhausting. The barrage of tests that Dr. Larsson wanted done before he went home had left him so fatigued he just slept in between them. He barely ate anything. It was too much work so he mostly opted for just broth, less energy needed to drink than chew. He hated feeling weak and helpless like a new born kitten. It was really grating on his nerves.

He was so tired he didn't even really speak with anyone that came to visit. He mostly listened and usually nodded off to sleep without meaning to. In fact, yesterday in the late afternoon, Commander Holleran and one SRU officer from each of the other teams had stopped by to check on him.

It was just after he was brought back from the pulmonary function tests. He had been so short of breath and light-headed afterwards he could not even respond and fell asleep within minutes of them entering the room. He felt bad about that. When he woke later Scott had assured him that they understood.

The team had stopped by after shift each night. They could see his fatigue so never stayed long. Only enough time to tell a bit about the day and let him know he was missed and offer encouragement. However, last night they took one look at him and simply wished him a good night. They could see he was in no shape to talk or listen.

He looked at the clock and saw it was nine am. He had been asleep for a solid thirteen hours and he still felt dog-tired. He was not looking forward to today either. A few more tests had been ordered but at least the first wasn't scheduled until eleven. He was so ready to leave but he had to finish the tests today and wait until tomorrow for Dr. Larsson to do another nerve block. It controlled the pain so well but only lasted three days and the doctor insisted he had to stay until tomorrow. He didn't fight it.

Their plan of out in two or three days had adjusted to five. It frustrated him but he had been a good patient and followed her instructions to the letter. He smirked to himself; well to be honest it had been easy too, since he was mostly asleep. Had he been awake he would have been agitated at the delay.

Sam was so looking forward to the shower that was promised him. He just hoped he had enough energy to do it. The orderly was due in any moment but he was alone at the moment. Laura had just left because he would be showering. Scott and the General were busy with arrangements for tomorrow.

But he thought a little solitude felt good. He was enjoying the quiet. They had removed all the monitors and there was nothing left to beep. His hands were not encumbered with the darned pulse oxy meter now. They only checked him on their rounds now with the portable one.

It would be nice to get rid of the IV at some point but until he was eating properly and all meds he needed were available in oral forms the doc said it stayed. He was fine by that. She had promised him that he would not have to see a single needle ever. The nasal oxygen annoyed him. He wanted it gone now but obeyed and kept it in place.

Sam's phone vibrated on the table. He looked at it wondering if he should make the effort to reach for it. It vibrated a second time and he pushed himself up and grabbed it. "Braddock."

_["Hey Blondie, great to hear your voice. Hang on a sec."_

_Yelling to someone in the distance. "I got him. Finally got a connection. I got him on the line."_

_"Hey, we've been outta range for so long. Didn't know if you tried to call Blaze. How ya doin? Blaze has been beside himself after Ed's call" Winds rattled off._

_Sounds of running in the background followed by skidding feet on gravel and a thump._

"_Blondie, how are you?" Blaze urgently said out of breath.]_

"I'm good … good … letting me go home … with the General … tomorrow" Sam replied.

_["Wow so you are escaping the hospital so soon. Great news. Must be doing well then otherwise they wouldn't let you go" Winds said happily._

"_That's great to hear Blondie. Going home with the General, that's gotta feel a bit odd. But I'm so glad to hear that you are open to it." Blaze responded. He was ecstatic, Blondie said 'good'.]_

"Yeah, well … the General made … it happen. … Otherwise … I'd be … stuck in … here a … long time." his voice lacing with some despondency. Getting a hold of himself he changed the subject and said with real happiness "Patch … asked Heather … to marry him. … She said … yes."

_["No way, you're just making that up. Patch is a confirmed bachelor like Blaze and me" Winds responded incredulously.]_

"No really. … Saw it … with my … own eyes. Did … it in my … room here." Sam then haltingly related the entire event. Blaze and Winds were laughing uproariously by the time he finished. "Hey guys … one thing. When … you see … or talk … to Patch. … Call him Jim. … He's moving … forward" Sam did not need to explain the meaning to them. Sam was tiring out from just talking. As much as he wanted to talk to his buddies he would need to end the call if he was going to have enough energy to shower.

_["That's good to hear. About time we all did. Winds and I just gotta finish this mission first. Kind of personal" Blaze replied. Then he mentally kicked himself for letting that last bit slip. Would Blondie catch it? Yeah it was Blondie, he would. Damn.]_

"What … do … you … mean … personal?" Sam struggled to get out really bushed now.

_["Ya know better than that Blondie. Can't tell ya a thing about a mission. Just I'll be happy when we accomplish it. The rest of the guys wanted me to say hi for them. When we get back. We will check in on you. Say hi to Jim for us. You're sounding winded buddy. We're gonna let you go now. Just keep moving forward okay. See ya soon" Blaze ended.]_

"Bye." Sam wanted to say so much more. He wanted to dig for information. What mission would be personal? It was a strange comment. But further contemplation flew out the window when the orderly walked in the room and asked him if he was ready to shower. "Absolutely" was his one word answer.

* * *

**_Temporary Base Camp in Afghanistan – 1730 local time (0930 Toronto time)_**

"Blaze was that Blondie?" Hal asked as he walked up to the command tent.

A huge smile on his face Blaze responded "Yep. Sounds winded but in good spirits. Thank god. That team of his pulled him through. Can't wait until we finish up here and I can go see him. I got a few people to thank. Did we get the intel we need yet?" Hal shook his head no.

Winds and Blaze talked for several minutes marveling at the fact that Patch had decided to marry and that Blondie actually agreed to spend time at home. Then the conversation turned serious about moving on. Both agreed they needed to do this one last thing then they could put that hurt behind them. This they owed to Blondie.

"Sir, Captain Blain" a tense voice called.

Blaze turned to see a young blonde headed kid jump out of a jeep and approach him holding a folder. His mind raced back to the first day he met Blondie as he watched the kid walking toward him. Warmth flooded his heart. Thank god he survived. Cold ice then washed through his veins as his mission reentered his mind. He shook his head and responded "Yes Private Vyne."

"Sir we have the location. The recon confirms it is the targets you are ordered to take out" he said waving the folder at him.

Blaze and Winds shared a rock hard single-minded look and Blaze said "About damn time. Ready to go mete out some justice for Blondie?"

"Been ready for six long years. Glad we finally found those fucking bastards" Winds responded.

They grabbed the location information and their weapons then raced for the Humvee with Hal, Russ, Daniel and Angus.

* * *

**_Navy Base – Halifax – 1700 local time (1500 Toronto time)_**

Kyle was thinking as he cleaned the latrines for the umpteenth time. He had known his CO would be pissed about the extended leave but this was getting ridiculous. Twelve days of continuous grunt work in addition to his normal job. But he'd make the same decision again if he had to. It was worth it to be there for Sam and his cousins

He just wished he could have been there when Sam woke. No one quite knew how Scott had managed to get more leave without any intervention but they were all glad he did. Scott was providing everyone nightly updates with the exception of that one night six days ago.

Scott and the General had arranged for a conference call the next night with the all the guys and uncles. Scott explained he could only bear to repeat what he had to say once. He had not gone into much detail but they all could tell it was bad.

Normally Scott was steady as a rock and that had thrown him for a complete loop. They all could hear the breaking emotion as he tried to retell a portion. The only reason he was telling them was because he and the General felt Sam would need their support during recovery and they would need to know what to watch for. Sam was a strong man but very fragile at the moment.

That had been six days ago. The reports since had been better. Sam was still struggling to speak normally due to the damage to his lungs and he was very tired. They were all happy that Sam was going home soon.

As he was finishing his CO appeared in the doorway. "Seaman Braddock."

He immediately came to attention and replied "Yes Sir." He thought what the hell am I gonna have to clean now?

"You have orders to report to the Special Forces Base in Ottawa by 0900 hours tomorrow."

"Sir. Yes Sir." He said confused "Sir the reason?"

"Orders come from high up. Some Joint Special Task Force that you were called for. You will get details upon arrival at the base. You are to report to a Colonel Sutton. Transport has been arranged. You leave at 0300 tomorrow" explained his CO.

"Yes Sir." He took the sealed envelope his CO handed him then watched as he turned and left. He looked down at the envelope. It was blank on the outside. He broke the seal and pulled the single sheet of paper from the inside. It told him when, where and who to report to. The code name of the JSTF mission was 'Recovery'. He was perplexed.

It wasn't stamped top secret or anything so Kyle pulled his phone out and dialed his brother. "Scott, I just orders to report to the Special Forces Base in Ottawa for a Joint Special Task Force by 0900. It is really strange. No details. Why would they want me for a JSTF mission? I'm just a low level naval communicator. Do you think I should contact the General?" he said with anxiety in his voice.

_[Hearing the unease in his brother's voice Scott said "Settle down bro. Not sure what it's about. But you are the third call I've gotten about this. Jeff and Zach called me just a few minutes ago. They got the same orders. This is strange. Hang on bro, got another call coming in" Scott said._

_"Braddock here." [listens] "Yes Sir." [listens] "Any details Sir?" [listens] "Sir. I was due to help transport my cousin home tomorrow at 1600." [listens] "Understood Sir."_

_Scott switched back to the call with Kyle "I'll be damned I just got the same orders. I was supposed to help get Sam home tomorrow. Gonna have to let the General know about my change. I'll let you know what the General says bro."]_

His voice confused Kyle said "This is too weird. Four of the five of us getting the same orders."

_["Hang on again, another call it's Adam. Bet it is five of five" Scott said._

_Switching calls Scott answered "Adam, let me guess ordered to report at 0900 tomorrow to Special Forces Base in Ottawa for JSTF Recovery."_

_"How the hell did you know?" Adam responded._

_"All five of us got the same exact orders. I'm going to talk to the General. Call you back if I find something out. Got Kyle on the other line. Need to calm the kid down it's freaking him out." He hung up with Adam and switched back to to the call with Kyle._

_"Yep, Kyle make that five of five. I'll let ya know what I find out. I agree it's very weird. If I don't call back at least I'll see ya tomorrow at 0900. Later bro" Scott concluded.]_

"Later" Kyle hung up wondering just what the hell was up.

* * *

**_Hospital – Day 7 Recovery – Inside Sam's Room – 5 pm_**

Sam was glad all the tests were done. Luckily they were all so easy. During the first one he fell asleep as he lay there for the CT scan. He was so worn out from the exertions of getting a shower he was so out of it that the poor technician had become worried. It took two orderlies to help him back to the bed. The second one they just left him in his bed and he fell asleep during the ultrasound.

They did not explain the third one to him like the others except to they would give him a small sedative via the IV and told him he would be out for about an hour. He thought that sounded good but wondered what the procedure was.

He figured it out when he woke up and found that the IV location had been changed and the tell-tale cotton balls taped tightly to his inner arm. Dr. Larsson was true to her word. He would see no needles so they had put him under for the simple tasks of moving the IV and drawing blood. He felt like a complete wimp but he loved that doctor. Someday he would be able to handle it but not right now it was too raw.

So now it was five pm and he had basically slept another day away. But he was feeling less tired. His mind wandered back to his conversation with Blaze. Just what type of mission would be personal? Missions were never personal. They were always cold and calculated and necessary for national security. His stomach growled as Jules walked in the room.

"What is it with you and not eating Braddock?" she said lightly. She pressed the call button when she didn't see any food in the room for him.

"What are you … doing here? Aren't … you still on shift?" Sam responded.

"Nah, Boss and Ed let us go about an hour ago. They and Wordy are doing the final selection of your temporary replacement. They kept putting it off. I don't think they really wanted to do it" she said dolefully.

"Are they any … good?" he asked.

"Two of the five are pretty good. Both ex-military" she replied. The nurse popped in and Jules asked for food for Sam. The nurse left and they continued the conversation.

"What are their names … I might know them?" Sam inquired. He noticed he was able to speak more words in a row. Man sleep must have done him some good.

"Hank Maslyp and Robert Tanger. I think Hank was Navy and Robert was an MP in the Army. Ring any bells?"

Sam shook his head no.

As she was telling Sam their names Scott walked in. "Did you just say Hank Maslyp?" Scott asked.

Jules looked to Scott and responded "Yeah, you know him?"

Scott shifted a chair so it faced both of them "Yeah, didn't really get on with the guy. Bit of a jerk. Think he left service several years ago. Not sure why, maybe not his cup of tea. Why? How do you know him?"

"He's one of the … finalists for my spot. … Anything the team … should be aware of?" Sam asked giving Scott a pointed look that said 'will he protect them'.

"Nothing I can think of just runs his mouth when he shouldn't is all. Hey Sam, I stopped by to tell ya I won't be with you and Uncle Will tomorrow. Been ordered to a meeting at 0900 tomorrow. No idea how long I'll be." Scott did not want to worry Sam. So he did not tell him all the cousins were called in. He still had not been able to talk to the General.

"Has the General been in this afternoon?" Scott asked lightly.

Sam adjusted in the bed sitting up a bit higher "Wouldn't know … just woke … up. I feel like … Rip Van Winkle … with all the sleeping … I've been doing. I did get to talk to Blaze today. Winds called my cell. They are still on a mission. It was strange."

"Strange how?" Scott asked prickled.

"Nothing really … just odd phrasing … said the mission was kind … of personal … would be happy when … he accomplished it. … Just odd … for Blaze" Sam said using a dismissive tone.

A nurse brought Sam a light dinner saying the doctor order he eat it all. He looked at the bland food and sighed. Did they purposefully try to make it so unappetizing? He spooned a mouthful of what looked like mashed potato into his mouth. Totally tasteless might as well be flour paste. Maybe he should just ask for more broth.

While he slowly ate following the doctor's orders reluctantly Jules told them about the hot calls the team had today. The first one a woman took a zoo keeper hostage. She was a vegetarian and was upset that the keepers were feeding the lions meat. They were able to resolve that one peacefully. Sam thought I'd like to be one of those lions right about now as he ate a spoonful of soft mushy peas.

The second one Spike was excited about because he got to use babycakes. A disgruntled worker put a homemade bomb in the CEOs office. Spike disarmed it without any issues. But that was the reason he wasn't here right now. He was still trying to get carpet fibers out of the treads. She also said that Lou had a date tonight so asked her to say hi for him.

Sam had finished his dinner and Jules could see he was exhausted again. So gave him a big hug and told him to get some rest. Just before heading out the door she said "Sam, the team is planning to swing by tomorrow if we are not on a hot call to say goodbye before you leave. Sleep well."

As she walked to the elevator she was wishing that Scott had not shown up. She had wanted some time by herself with him before he left for god knows how long. Sam had gotten deeply under her skin. She didn't think she could go for long without seeing him.

After Jules left Scott rose and said "Will you be okay alone for a bit? I think the General was planning on being here around ten but I need to go pack and tell Laura good bye."

"Yeah sure. Tired … anyways, gonna … sleep. If I don't … see ya tomorrow … just wanted to … say thanks for … everything cuz." Sam looked at him meaningfully. His look conveyed more than his words ever could. Scott and Ed had played a huge part in keeping him alive that night and Sam was extremely grateful.

"Anytime cuz. But let's not repeat that. Ever! Okay?" he looked at him sternly. "You come even close to feeling that way you call me. Do you hear me?" Scott directed.

"Yeah. Got it." Sam said and smiled. In the back of his mind he thought hope it never happens again. Scott hugged him and called out goodbye as he left the room.

Sam leaned back, closed his eyes and Blaze's comments filtered into his mind again as sleep over took him.

* * *

**_Hospital – Day 8 Recovery – Inside Sam's Room – 1 am_**

The General slipped quietly into the room around one am. He had been gone longer than he had intended. He had to deal with an issue with a mission that went south. All the soldiers made it out alive but two had been injured. Also one of the ten targets, the leader had gotten away. He had been upset to see the names of the injured.

It took all his control not to bellow when he demanded to know their exact conditions. The poor new Corporal sent to provide him the information was scared by the look on his face. He had finally relaxed when the details came in that the injuries we not life threatening. However one would require some down time to recover. He had made arrangements to bring them both back within the next three days.

He had ignored twenty-seven calls from his nephews. He knew why they were calling but he could not give them the details they would ask for over the phone. Tomorrow morning would be soon enough. He sank down in the chair. He only had a few moments to sit with Samuel. He had to leave for the base in an hour. There was a light knock on the door.

The General rose to answer it. "Sergeant, you made good time. Is your team in place?"

"Yes Sir."

"Good. I'll be leaving within the hour. You will be in charge. You have the list of approved visitors?"

"Yes Sir. Along with photo IDs" the Sergeant said tapping his front pocket.

"I will return by 1400 tomorrow. I'm trusting you to keep him safe" the General said in his command voice.

"Yes Sir. It's my honor. Blondie saved my ass many times over there."

"What's your name Sergeant?"

"Murchadh-Ailpein Srònaich'O' Naoimhín. But everyone just calls me Mason Sir."

A long ago image came to the General's mind. A younger version of his man bruised and sleeping in a chair. "Mason sat with Samuel years ago after the building exploded didn't you?"

The Sergeant gave the General a stunned look wondering how the General could know that but replied "Yes Sir I did. Blondie saved my life that day."


	44. Sunshine and Gorgeous & JSTF Recovery

**Sunshine and Gorgeous &amp; JSTF Recovery Underway**

* * *

**_Hospital – Day 8 Recovery – Inside Sam's Room – 7 am_****  
**

The sound of soft laughter filtered into Sam's awareness as he awoke slowly. He recognized the laugh, it was Laura's. There was another gravelly voice quietly speaking that sounded familiar too. He opened his eyes to check if his suspicion was right. What was he doing here? Damn nice to see his ugly mug but what was he doing here?

They hadn't recognized he had awoken until Sam said in a groggy voice "Mason, what … brings you here?" Laura and Mason turned to Sam.

"Good mornin Sunshine" Mason teased as he walked toward the bed a huge grin emerging. When he reached it he gave Blondie several soft pats on the shoulder.

Sam rolled his eyes at the 'Sunshine' name and responded with their well-worn reciprocal taunt "Mornin Gorgeous."

Mason had often called him Sunshine because of his sullen disposition after returning from other units. Sam had always retorted with Gorgeous as it was so opposite of the man's grisly features. "So … what are … you doing … here?"

"Orders. The General had to return to base early this morning to deal with something. He didn't want you left alone. My unit was assigned to provide protection while he was gone. Also with your cousin gone we are to assist with escorting you and the General home later today. Can say I was damned glad to get the opportunity to see you again. Been way too long Blondie" Mason explained.

Sam thought about what Mason said and realized that he was surprised that the General hadn't left sooner. He was always such a busy man. It struck him that his dad had made him the priority for as long as he could but his job was too important not to require him. But he had made sure Sam wasn't alone. With the way he was feeling about his own state of weakness it made him feel both cared for and irritated.

He looked at Mason and said "What's it been … like three … years now? Yeah … way too long. … How you doing?"

"Yeah right about that long. Really missed you all when I left the unit. Doing good, keeping busy. My unit rotated back about six months ago. Been nice to have the down time. But itching to get back out there. Heard you left and joined SRU. How do you like it?" Mason responded.

Sam and Mason visited and for a long time. Sam slowly speaking and sharing his experiences with the team and how he felt about his work. Mason shared highlights from his last three years with many funny anecdotes about his current unit.

It felt good to catch up with each other. Mason had left their unit in the middle of the second tour. He had been promoted and assigned his own team. Mason knew about what happened with Matt and how painful it was for them all so did not bring that subject up.

As they finished talking about the past Mason began to wonder just what landed Blondie in the hospital. It was so hard to listen to his labored breathing and halting words. He hoped it was just a short setback and that he would recover fully.

Mason had heard some rumors but command was being very tight lipped. He had been grilled extensively and aggressively by some special investigators for nearly sixteen hours two weeks ago about his time with the unit. They wanted every detail he could provide about Blondie. Something was definitely up. Especially since a Special Forces unit was providing protection detail for a 'civilian', albeit ex-JTF2 member. It was beyond strange.

Not wanting to pry but hoping Blondie might be willing to share he ventured "So buddy, how'd you end up here? SRU must be one dangerous job to land you here."

Sam provided Mason the cliff notes version omitting certain details of what had transpired in the past thirty-one days. As Sam related the details it hit him that it had been a full month. Damn he thought, a full month. No wonder his muscles were so weak. A full month in bed. He had a lot of work to do to get back into shape.

Mason listened to what Blondie related and a burning rage was building in his gut. He was glad that Plouffe was dead or else he would have been charged with murder very shortly. He wished he had known what Murphy had been doing to him too. He would have beat the holy crap out of the guy if he had known. Then Merrill, court-martial and life behind bars was too good for him. He hoped the guy died soon.

It made total sense now why his unit was assigned. He wanted to talk to Blaze so badly. To thank him for taking care of Blondie. To reassure him it was not his fault that Merrill shot him. He knew Blaze too well, he knew he blamed himself. Always did when someone under his command or protection was hurt.

Mason knew that Blaze and Winds had made it their personal mission to try and find the terrorists that had tortured Blondie. As the years passed they never gave up. They followed every lead. Those two were tenacious but the terrorists always eluded them.

The last he spoke to Blaze was just before Blaze was promoted. He had told him that he would never give up, He vowed he would remain in the field until he accomplished his task or died trying because Blondie deserved justice. That's why at the rank of Captain, Blaze was still in the field.

When Blondie finished Mason said "Christ man. Can't you get at least one break? Have you talked with Blaze since you woke up? I'm sure he would want to talk with you. He'd want to make sure you are alright."

"Talked to … him yesterday. … He and Winds … are on a mission" Sam replied.

Mason saw the weird look when he had said mission. "You look perplexed by that" he said in a questioning tone.

Sam responded "A bit … just odd words. … Out of character … words Blaze used."

"Like what?" he queried.

"Missions were … always business, necessary … but he said this one … was kind of personal … would be glad when … it was accomplished. … Those are weird words … for Blaze to use. … Been bugging me … since he said them. … Something telling my gut … there is more to it" Sam expounded.

Awareness dawned in Mason. Damn they finally found the bastards. Should he tell Blondie? No he would let Blaze do that if he felt it necessary. So he said "Probably nothing. Hey gotta go check on my guys. See ya later though." He ruffled Blondie's hair and said "Need a haircut Sunshine. Getting too long and girly."

"At least I have … hair, Gorgeous" he retorted as Mason left the room. Sam was in good spirits. He was getting out of here today.

* * *

**_Special Forces Base – Conference Room A – 0900_**

All the Braddock cousins had arrived early and were shown to conference room A. They were surprised to find they were the only ones in the conference room as it approached nine am. Surely a Joint Special Task Force would require more than just them. It was odd, way beyond odd. They all had an uneasy feeling.

At 0900 on the dot they all instantly came to attention as the Commander-in-Chief, the General and all their fathers entered the room. Although they were all extremely confused they wore blank professional masks.

"At ease gentlemen. Take a seat please" the Commander-in-Chief ordered. They quickly complied and sat in a parade rest manner as the Commander and others took seats too. The Commander looked to Scott and said "How's that daughter of mine?"

"Good Sir" Scott replied with a small smile.

The Commander launched right into it "So you're all wondering why you have been ordered here. Several things have come to light recently that need to be addressed. After speaking with the General several weeks ago I formed a Special Investigations unit to look into and review the service history of Master Corporal Samuel Braddock. The findings are astonishing and beyond pale. The things that occurred should never have happened."

The cousins gave each other quick glances.

He continued "As the Commander-in-Chief the buck stops with me and I assume full responsibility. I wish to apologize to the entire Braddock family for allowing that to happen to Samuel. In addition to Corporal Merrill, there are several others that will be brought up on various charges in relation to the incidents. New procedures will be put in place to ensure this can never happen again to any soldier."

Shock showed on several of the cousin's faces as the Commander kept speaking "I understand that due to actions taken by Major Plouffe, Corporal Merrill, Sergeant Murphy and previous incidents in Kandahar that Samuel is in a rather precarious state of health."

Nods of affirmative were given from all around the table.

"I have been told on good authority that it would be in his best interest to have the support of his family to ensure his full recovery. Therefore, I have formed the JSTF Recovery to which you all have been assigned. Your sole order for the duration of this mission will be to do whatever is necessary to assist with Samuel Braddock's full recovery. Any questions?" the Commander concluded.

Speechless. Totally and utterly astounded. None of the cousins spoke. They just stare for several minutes.

Scott finally gathered himself and asked "On whose good authority?" He couldn't believe his Uncle Will would ever be audacious enough to request such a thing from the Commander-in-Chief.

He replied "My daughters' of course" and smiled broadly.

Scott's mouth dropped open. He quickly closed it and nodded to the Commander unable to speak. Damn he loved his wife. She was audacious and kindhearted enough to ask something like that.

* * *

**_Hospital – Inside Sam's Room – 3 pm_**

Team One had been very glad today was slow. They all wanted to see Sam off today. At two-thirty Commander Holleran told them they were considered off duty for the next few hours. Team Two would cover. They had promptly headed to the hospital. They arrived about fifteen minutes ago to find an almost fully dressed Sam sitting on the edge of his bed.

He looked up and grinned when they entered. He had been trying to put on his shoes by himself and it was not working. His ribs wouldn't let him bend far enough and it was tiring him out. Jules had walked directly to him and simply started to put his shoes on for him. No words spoken about it.

Now fully dressed Sam said "I'm gonna miss … seeing you guys … every day."

Wordy interjected "Same here, but you're going to work hard to get back to us. It's for the best."

Spike piped up "You got to be back here every three days. You better stop by the barn."

"Will if I can" Sam replied. There was a knock at the door and the nurse peeked in.

"Hey Sam, the General just called. He was delayed but should be here in about five minutes" Bettie informed him. He nodded in response and she left.

Sam looked at each one of his chosen family and smiled "Thanks for … everything. I'll … be back soon." Sam then looked at his temporary replacement and said "Rob, keep them … safe for me."

Rob just inclined his head in a 'will do' manner.

Jules had called Sam this morning before his nerve block procedure to let him know who they selected. The Sarge and Ed had been undecided between Rob and Hank. Both were very good. But then Wordy had overheard the two, Rob and Hank, discussing the position during a break yesterday.

Rob understood that the position was temporary and expressed his hope the injured officer would make it back. Whereas Hank had told Rob that it was doubtful anyone could recover from injuries that bad. Hank was absolutely sure it would turn into a permanent position and he was the right man for the job. Their decision was made for them. Rob, definitely Rob.

Seeing that the General would be here shortly the team had given Sam a round of hugs and well wishes and were readying to go as the door to Sam's room opened.

Sam was staggered and wordless when he saw the General and all five of his cousins enter his room in full dress uniform.

JSTF Recovery was underway.


	45. Bike Ride to SRU & Memories of Recovery

**Bike Ride to SRU &amp; Memories of Recovery**

* * *

**_Four Months Later: Enroute to SRU HQ_****  
**

Sam bounded down the stairs and out the door of his apartment building. He put on his helmet, slung his gym bag over his shoulder and unlocked his bike. It was four am and not a soul was around yet. He hopped on his bike and started down the street.

He loved the solitude and gentle promise that this time of day held. He was looking forward to this day. It was a long time coming.

As he slowly rode he reflected on his path back. It had been hard. So very hard that there were times he wanted to give up. But his family, all of them biological, unit and team never gave up on him. Their actions and words showed him that he was cared for, accepted, valued, strong, and worthy. His soul had healed as his lungs healed.

He thought back to the day he got to leave the hospital.

* * *

**_Memories of Recovery_**

The day the General and his cousins had arrived at the hospital en masse to take him home to Ottawa was the start of 'JSTF Recovery'. Sam and Team One were awestruck when they found out Laura had contacted her dad and arranged for all his cousins to be there for the duration of his recovery. That he had made it their mission to ensure they did everything necessary to assist him in attaining a full recovery. Sam thought sometimes it was nice to be related to high ranking officers; and you couldn't get any higher than Commander-in-Chief.

Commander-in-Chief James McFergus had visited him at his father's home a week after he arrived. Sam had been embarrassed and upset that he was unable to stand and give the man the respect his position deserved. He had opted to sit as erect as possible and salute even though he was no longer in the military.

The Commander instantly told him to be at ease. Then shocked Sam completely when he saluted him. He then pulled a chair close to Sam's bed and they had a very long private conversation. He had apologized to Sam for allowing such things to happen to him while under his command. Sam saw the honor and dignity of the man and could see how he had earned the right to be the Commander-in-Chief.

McFergus shared with Sam the results of the investigations and the names of those who would be brought up on charges and the reasons. Sam had flinched at the some of the details uncovered, things he never knew. The Commander then handed Sam a list of the Honors, Decorations and Medals that he would be awarded based on a thorough review of his service record and informed him there would be a public award ceremony. Sam declared repeatedly that he didn't deserve them; he was just doing his job and wanted no ceremony. Commander McFergus relented on the public ceremony but insisted on a private one.

A week later it took place at home with all of Sam's family, Blaze, Winds, Jim, Mason, and Blaze and Mason's new units present. Team One had been invited but they were unable to make it due to work. Sam was secretly relieved. It was uncomfortable enough to have his family and old unit there.

He didn't want the commendations for two reasons. One it didn't feel right to receive commendations for taking so many lives. The second was he was just doing his job following orders and protecting his unit. Doing that was expected it was not noteworthy.

He had confided his reasons to Scott and Adam. Scott told him that for the first reason Sam needed to change his thinking. He was not being honored for taking lives but for all the innocent lives that were saved by his actions.

For the second, Adam said he understood how Sam felt. In many ways all Braddock's felt the same when it came to duty. But then he said Sam's circumstances were extraordinary. What he accomplished in his two tours would be more like someone serving ten tours. That was something that was way above and beyond and should be recognized.

Sam accepted the change in thinking to the first reason but would not budge on the second. He was just doing his job. Period.

The day of the ceremony was the day Sam found out that Blaze and Winds had been injured in their mission. Sam was upset when Blaze showed up walking with the assistance of a cane and Winds had a fresh scar across his forehead just below the hairline.

Blaze told him the cane was only temporary while he got the strength back into his thigh. After the ceremony they shared with him how they had been injured when the mission went sideways. Several additional targets showed up unexpectedly and although Russ was a good long distance marksman he just wasn't as fast as Blondie. Two targets had gotten off shots before Russ got them. One hit Blaze in the thigh and one grazed Winds.

Sam then asked Blaze what he had meant by the mission being kind of personal. It had bugged him ever since Blaze had said it. Blaze explained who the targets of the mission were and how long they had been looking for them.

He had been taken aback to find out that they had been pursuing the bastards all these years. He never had a clue they were doing that. Winds was pissed off that they did not get the leader but vowed they would get him one day, they were still searching.

Sam felt troubled that they would do this just for him, put themselves at risk in a mission just for him. But then the General informed him that this group had been responsible for repeated atrocities on over two dozen soldiers from various nations.

Their continued pursuit had been sanctioned by several governments including his for many years. The terrorists had killed twenty of their captives over the years. Only seven including Sam had made it out alive. Of the seven three had committed suicide.

Sam sat staggered in utter disbelief when he found out that men from the Central Bank call were held by those bastards. He could understand their level of despair. Sam had had a conversation with his dad afterwards and asked him to make sure they were getting any help they might need. The General assured him he would take care of it.

That had led to a later conversation between Sam, the General and Sarge regarding counseling for Sam. He had reluctantly agreed. The General and Sarge had contacted a therapist.

Dr. Dawn Tansy had determined the best course would be a concentrated treatment plan. So he had been scheduled for three sessions per week for six weeks. The therapist always came to the General's home. At first he was very resistant and simply sat there the entire session silent. They could make him go but they couldn't make him talk. He knew he had promised the Boss he'd do anything to prove he was not a risk to the team but actually accepting he needed this type of help was galling to him.

So he sat mute for six sessions. He had spent those sessions thinking about Matt. He slowly realized that Matt and his unit had filled this need for him for a long time. So in the seventh session he began to open up. When he explained how Matt had helped him, Dawn commented that Matt would have made a natural therapist. That made Sam smile. Dr. Tansy listened and helped Sam refine his existing strategies for dealing with all the issues.

She helped him understand how his child's mind could mix things up after such a trauma. Dawn helped him come to terms with all the lost years. She even listened as he described the torture he had been through.

He shared with her feelings and memories of that time he could never bring himself to even admit to Matt. She had simply held his hand then helped him understand that they were normal feelings. Dawn told him that he had done and exceptional job of coping with all he had been through. She helped him define a plan of action should the memories cause him problems in the future.

Near the end of the fifth week of sessions his nightmares had stopped almost completely. At the end of the scheduled sessions Sam asked for three more weeks of sessions. She obliged. He now had her name in his contacts in case he felt the need to talk in the future.

Dr. Tansy had given Sarge the reassurance that Sam was indeed stable and a solid asset to their team. She told him that Sam had developed remarkable and appropriate coping mechanisms over the years and he did not suffer from PTSD. She affirmed that there would be no risk to the team. Sarge told him that he was very proud of him for consenting to the sessions, doing the necessary hard work and that he was looking forward to when he returned to the team.

* * *

**_Enroute to SRU HQ_**

Coasting a bit Sam sat up and looked around. He noticed he was at the point to choose the fast path via the streets or the long path via the park. He checked his watch. He had been so eager for this day he had left as soon as he finished his cup of coffee. He had time to take the longer path through the park. So he veered to the right. Sam was enjoying the brisk breeze on his face as he rode through the park.

Sam thought in many ways the mental rehab was much easier than the physical rehab. The physical is where his cousins focused and they had made him laugh and cry throughout the grueling process.

They pushed him hard, very hard and demanded more of him than he thought he could give. They picked him up both physically and emotionally when he faltered and had truly reached the limits of his endurance and they encouraged him to keep going.

As he pedaled smoothly through the tree lined path Sam inhaled deeply and slowly released the breath marveling at the ease with which his breath now came as he recalled one of the worst days.

* * *

**_Memories of Recovery_**

Jeff had found him half way up the twenty step staircase. Sam had been despondent for over a week at his slow progress and inability to walk without stopping to catch his breath every step or two.

In his stubbornness he had decided to try the stairs on his own but failed miserably. He was having a full blown self-pity party. He sat there crying angry tears because he could not make it up more than ten of the twenty god damned steps. Sam had been so exhausted he could not stand at all. Even with Jeff's assistance his body refused.

Jeff recognized Sam was solidly locked into a feeling of total defeat and was ready to give up. So instead of getting his cousins and carrying Sam down the stairs and to a chair, Jeff had gone all drill Sergeant on him and made him crawl up the stairs to the top. Sam had alternated between cussing Jeff out and bawling like a little baby all the way to the top. It took over an hour to make it up ten fucking steps crawling. But when he got to the top every one of his cousins was there to support him.

Over the next few days they were all downright ruthless. They made him trek up and down the stairs hundreds of times per day. By the sixth day he was able to walk up them slowly holding the hand rail without stopping or gasping for air.

That had been the first major hurdle his cousins helped him get over. He faltered many more times and they were always there to put him back on course. His cousins each had their specialties and ended up focusing on different areas of Sam's rehab but all supported each other as they helped Sam. He was seeing a side of the Braddock clan he had never really known and he liked it.

Zach and Kyle ensured that he took multiple daily walks. They started as simple five minute walks inside the house that left him completely winded and needing to sit down. The day he finally made it to the end of the driveway and back without needing Kyle or Zach to hold him up had both elated and depressed him.

He kept going because they would not allow him to stop even when he got cantankerous. Over time as his lungs healed they moved to longer distances and eventually moved to jogging. In the last month of rehab it had turned into ten mile long jogs.

Kyle focused on helping Sam regain his long distance and endurance while Zach ensured that Sam recovered his ability to pour it on for short bursts of speed. They all knew that both were necessary for his job.

Sam and Kyle were equally matched in distance running by the end. They left Zach in the dust on long runs and would tease him he needed one of his fighter jets to keep up with them. Zach retorted that he would best them in short sprints and he did. Zach could not be caught by either of them in short distance sprints.

* * *

**_Enroute to SRU HQ_**

Sam reached for his water bottle and took a long drink then replaced it. He adjusted his gears as he came to the moderate hill in the park. Not even close to the steepness of the red trail. This was such an ant hill in comparison he thought no challenge at all.

On his next day off he would have to check out the mountain bike trails here in Toronto find something challenging. He wondered if anyone on the team would be interested in mountain biking. Perhaps he could talk Jules into coming with him. She liked a lot of outdoor activities. Maybe this could become something they could do together.

If so it would give them an excuse to spend off duty time together. No one on the team would question it if they had a common hobby. As he easily glided up the hill with no effort Sam mused how very much things had changed in the past months and smiled.

* * *

**_Memories of Recovery_**

When he was still in just the walking stage with Kyle and Zach he started to get belligerent after several weeks because he was completely bored seeing the same terrain over and over. That is when Adam, who was an avid mountain biker, suggested riding bicycles too.

The General had outfitted them all with a mountain bike. Adam made him ride for hours but he enjoyed it. It started with multiple short rides on flat paved surfaces but as he improved they went for longer and more challenging trail courses.

He enjoyed it so much he did something stupid on his first attempt of the red trail. During that long ride Sam was enjoying the sereneness of the woods and breeze on his face so much he had not paid enough attention to his physical state. Adam saw signs of exhaustion and kept asking if he was okay and Sam would say yes.

Sam laughed as he recalled he paid the price for his inattention. When three quarters of the way up the trail exhaustion hit him with full force and he passed out. It was just him and Adam on that ride. Adam reacted quickly when he crashed and hit the ground.

Adam checked him over. Luckily other than exhaustion he did not injure himself. Sam could go no further so they just sat there in the middle of the trail. Actually Sam laid there for quite some time before he could even sit up.

As he lay there exhausted Adam was trying to figure out how to get him home because neither of their cell phones had reception. They had been sitting there for about two hours because Adam would not leave Sam alone to get help. Sam was still nowhere near being able to ride back when four very rattled cousins rode up the hill.

His cousins were upset because no one could get a hold of them and they were over an hour late returning. Sam was admonished for not following Dr. Larsson's rule about not over doing it. Zach and Kyle rode home quickly to call off the search party the General had wanted to put together when Sam didn't arrive as expected. The others sat with Sam for another hour while he consumed several power bars, an energy drink and several waters.

From that day forward Scott insisted that they take a satellite phone and at least two cousins had to ride with Sam. Sam agreed to the conditions because he had found that he absolutely loved the fresh air and feeling of freedom riding a bike gave him. He steadily improved and the day he finally beat Adam to the top of the red trail he knew he would make it back to the team.

From that moment on he worked even harder to the point of exhausting his cousins daily. He grinned when he recalled how all six of them fell into bed early each night and slept soundly due to fatigue. Each of his cousins had thought they were in peak condition. But by the end of rehab they were almost as astonished in the positive changes in their physical condition as they were in Sam's.

* * *

**_Enroute to SRU HQ_**

Sam crested the top of the park hill and stopped the bike for a moment. He closed his eyes and imagined the view in the daylight. It was beautiful from this point. He had run in this park many times before his injuries. He took a quick drink and checked his watch; still lots of time to get there. He breathed in deep through his nose enjoying the woodsy smells.

The smell made him recall his last phone conversation with Ed. They had talked a lot about hunting and fishing. Something they both enjoyed. That is when Ed had invited Sam to join him and Wordy on their annual camping trip in three weeks.

Ed had joked that Wordy needed at least one weekend per year doing just manly things and that no teacups or tiaras were allowed. So they always roughed it and they only ate what they caught or shot. They liked to hike deep into the woods and do some rock climbing too. It sounded like fun and he was looking forward to it.

Sam got on his bike and started to coast down the other side of the hill. Thoughts of rock climbing brought back the memories of the obstacle courses Jeff put Sam through.

* * *

**_Memories of Recovery_**

Jeff with Kyle's help put together a small obstacle course in the back yard early on that focused on agility and lower body. But they didn't have a climbing wall, rope climb or rappelling area. After the first month home Jeff made Sam go through the little course daily.

After three weeks of running the course Sam commented that his upper body strength had severely deteriorated. He wished the obstacle course had something to help with that because his job often required him to climb or rappel. Jeff quickly arranged for Sam to use the Special Forces obstacle course on base.

Sam remembered that first day on the course two months ago when Jeff had taken him. Shortly after they arrived the General had called Jeff to his office for some reason and he had left him alone on the course. Sam had stared at the thirty foot climbing rope for a long time.

It had been one of his favorite parts of the obstacle course when he was here for Special Forces training. As he grasped the rope and tried to climb it a group of new Special Forces recruits had stopped nearby. Sam had been annoyed at his inability to get to the top. He only got a quarter of the way up the rope before losing his grip and falling to the ground.

He mostly ignored the heckling and taunts as he lost his grip and fell for the tenth time. This time only making it only a few feet up the damned rope. Their mocking jeers were doing nothing to improve his mood as he fumed at himself for his failure to do such a simple thing as haul his ass up a damned rope.

Their insults continued non-stop as he sat on the ground gathering his strength readying himself to try yet again. Vowing he would get to the top no matter how many attempts it took. He would not let the damned rope beat him. As he stood up and grasped the rope for the eleventh time he recognized a familiar face walking towards the jeering recruits. It was one of the training instructors he had really liked when he was a recruit years ago.

The instructor instantly recognized him too. Sam could see the scathing look he gave the recruits just before he yelled loudly across the yard to him. "Braddock all your records on the course still stand. Not a single one has been broken in seven years. Glad to see that an armor piercing bullet to the chest is not going to stop you. I expect to see you back in fighting shape in no time."

The heckling had instantly stopped. Not that it mattered one way or the other to Sam but at least it was no longer a distraction. He nodded in acknowledgement to the instructor then grabbed the rope and tried again. Only made it a quarter of the way and ended up on his ass on the ground for the eleventh time.

As Jeff walked toward the course he watched as Sam fell several times. He could see the determination in his face but Sam needed a break. So when he reached him he handed him a bottle of water and said "Break time remember docs orders."

During the break Sam related the incident with the recruits and the instructor to Jeff and an evil grin came across Jeff's face but he refused to comment why. The next day they went to the course and all the recruits were gathered there. The instructor that called to Sam addressed the recruits and introduced them to their new obstacle course instructor, Drill Sergeant Braddock. The recruits all paled considerably as Jeff gave them a hard look.

Turned out the reason the General had called Jeff to his office was to inform him he had finally gotten the transfer he had applied for six months ago to be a Drill Sergeant for Special Forces training. He would not officially start until JSTF Recovery was complete. But after Sam had told him what had occurred Jeff had requested to be assigned to this group of recruits as their obstacle course instructor.

Jeff was absolutely merciless on the recruits taking them all down several pegs. It had angered him that they would mock someone instead of trying to help them. He felt there was no honor in that type of behavior. So the first few days he ran them hard and pushed them to a point that they saw the limits of their own abilities. Jeff broke them down and then built them back up into mates that worked as a team and helped each other succeed.

During those first days, Sam worked alone and concentrated solely on his nemesis the rope. Once Jeff had achieved his desired result with the recruits he pulled Sam in. He had him work the course with the group of recruits for seven weeks.

In the beginning Sam was nowhere near capable but did his best. The recruits encouraged him and Sam had enjoyed the camaraderie that comes with working with a group. They had all cheered mid-way through the third week when Sam had finally made it to the top of the rope. It still irked him he had not attained his same speed at ascending the rope. It was something he was still working on.

* * *

**_Enroute to SRU HQ_**

Sam's phone vibrated. He slowed and pulled it from his pocket and answered without looking who it was "Braddock"

_[Morning cuz, thought I'd call and wish you good luck today" Scott said.]_

"Good luck for what?" Sam replied.

_["Don't you do your requals today?" he asked.]_

"Nah, that was yesterday" Sam responded.

_["Wow thought it was today. So how'd ya do?" he asked with a voice that said he already knew.]_

"Passed everything" he said simply.

_['Why didn't you call last night and tell me?" Scott said with annoyance.]_

"Cause I didn't want to interrupt you and Laura. So anything you want to tell me?" Sam asked knowingly and suppressing a laugh.

_["Don't tell me you knew? You did didn't you? Dammit how the hell do you always do that cuz?" Scott blustered.]_

Sam burst out laughing "Ain't gonna tell you all my secrets. So did she tell you?"

_["Yeah, she did. I'm excited and scared. Not sure if I'm ready to be a dad" Scott confided.]_

"You'll be great. Laura will be a great mom too. I'm happy for the both of you. Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?" Sam asked.

_["Both, she's having twins" Scott said amazed.]_

Sam's foot slipped off the pedal and he put the brakes on to stop "Wow. That I didn't know. Awesome."

_["Aw crap gotta go, morning sickness, she's throwing up. Talk to ya later cuz" he said and quickly hung up the call.]_

Sam thought back to all the things that Scott had done for him over the past months. He had built an extremely strong bond with him. It was scary how they could almost read each other's minds.

In those rehab months Scott had recognized things Sam needed before he even knew. He laughed as he thought 'paintball'. That sure pulled him out of the blues. He started pedaling again as he remembered.

* * *

**_Memories of Recovery_**

At the beginning of the third month Scott hatched a plan to get Sam away from home for several hours two or three times a week. Scott could see he was going stir crazy and in the doldrums. He knew that Sam needed to have some fun away from all the grueling physical workouts.

Scott knew that Sam also needed to keep his shooting and tactical skills sharp to return to the team. In addition to fighter jets, Zach was qualified to pilot the General's private jet and there was a wonderful little outdoor gun range and paint ball course a half hour flight away. So Scott arranged to have Zach fly the guys there and back several times a week.

One of the guys, usually Scott would spend an hour or two at the gun range while Sam refined his skills with various weapons. Then all the guys would head over to the paintball course and engage various games. Sometimes they would team in twos or threes and other times go individually. Their favorite though was when there was another group and it could be the Braddock Boys against the other group.

Thanks to Sam's tactical plans they always blew the other team away. In retrospect it was really no competition given the vast amount of experience Sam had. But Sam enjoyed exercising his tactical skills.

The cousins strengthened their bonds while they provided a fun opportunity for Sam to get some physical exercise and keep his tactical, shooting and stealth skills honed. The flights there and back home were usually filled with riotous laughter as they joked around or relived the antics of the paintball games.

Scott also realized that Sam needed to keep up his hand to hand combat skills. He knew that Blaze was in rehab at the base so he arranged to have Blaze and Winds take charge of that aspect of Sam's rehab. They would both benefit from working together.

Blaze or Winds came to get him every few days. They took Sam to the base gym to work out with weights, the heavy bag and practice take-down maneuvers. Sam enjoyed the time with them. Their sessions left him sporting bruises but it helped him release frustration too. He still liked using the heavy bag for that purpose.

When they were done at the gym for the day they often swung by the Raven and had a cold beer or soda before taking Sam back home. It was during the times just hanging out together Sam had finally got Blaze to stop blaming himself for Sam being shot by Merrill. It took a lot of effort to get Blaze to realize there was nothing he could have done to prevent it.

Sam also realized that in all the years he spent with the unit he had never really had down time with them before. Getting time together away from missions, helped each of them begin to leave the past behind and move forward. Sam liked that their friendships deepened and broadened as they got to see different aspects of each other.

* * *

**_Enroute to SRU HQ_**

Sam left the park. He was getting close to the barn. His anticipation was growing. His stomach growled. Damn, I was so excited I forgot to eat. Jules is gonna tease me if it growls during workout. He thought I could stand to lose a few pounds.

However, he was hungry so he stopped and pulled out a power bar from the outside pocket of his bag. As he took a bite and hopped back on the bike he wished he could have one of his mom's awesome omelets. Then several random thoughts entered his mind as he thought about his family and team.

* * *

**_Memories of Recovery_**

His mom was a wonderful cook and took great pleasure in making everyone's favorite dishes. She constantly fussed over how much weight he had lost while in the hospital. She was pushing food at him at every opportunity. He had never eaten so much.

Although with all the physical efforts he needed tons of calories and was hungry all the time. His mom had taught him how to make several dishes so when he return to his apartment he would not have to eat take out only. His favorite was making omelets. They were simple and versatile. Over the months Sam had slowly regained the considerable weight and muscle mass he had lost.

With all the mouths to feed everyone pitched in. As part of recovery they had assigned him KP duty by the third week. The first month he had to sit down often as he washed dishes but they knew that it would give him a sense of pulling his own weight and not being an invalid.

Kyle had often slipped in and helped him finish the dishes faster so Sam could join him and Zach playing video games. But in the evening he preferred to play chess with Scott or the General so he had finally hooked Kyle and Zach up with Spike. The three of them loved the same online game.

Sam stayed connected with his team through frequent phone calls. They missed him badly but understood he needed this time to reconnect with his family. They respected his decision to remain at home for the duration of his rehab. He missed them all very badly too but most especially Jules.

Jules and he spoke at least once per week. Usually for several hours. It had become a ritual that they would each grab a coffee and sit outside on their porches while they conversed over the phone. Jules said it made her think of the times they spent talking in the back of her jeep. That had made Sam smile.


	46. He Belongs

**He Belongs**

* * *

**_Arriving at SRU HQ_****  
**

Sam coasted the last bit of distance still enjoying the cool breeze on his face. He was looking forward to this day he repeated to himself for the umpteenth time. He hadn't seen any of the team for four months. He popped the bike up on the sidewalk and hopped off pushing it to the rack. He locked the bike and removed his helmet.

Taking a glorious deep breath with no pain and blowing it out he looked up at the barn. Here, this place is where family is and it felt so good. Here he could continue to see the beauty of life. Here with his family he belonged. He truly belonged.

He felt that sense of belonging when he had come by yesterday to do his requalification tests. They were done by Commander Holleran and Sergeant Cray yesterday while Team One was busy on a hot call. Sam couldn't wait to see Ed's reaction on his times. If he was pissed before about him breaking his time record by five seconds it was gonna be fun to see how he reacted when he found out how much time Sam had shaved off the record now.

He opened the door and strode confidently in adjusting the gym bag slung over his shoulder. He stopped at the front desk and saw Winnie was engaged in a call. He stood there calmly waiting until she finished. She finished but was still looking down at the paperwork on the desk so he softly said "Good morning Winnie."

Her head shot up in a flash surprise in her eyes. Sam grinned mischievously and put his finger to his mouth and whispered "Shhh I want to surprise them, are they in the gym?" The team was unaware that he had requal'd yesterday and he asked Holleran and Rollie to keep it secret. He wanted to surprise the team today.

Winnie nodded yes, smiled broadly and whispered back "It is so good to see you. Welcome back Sam."

Sam gave her a huge grin "Thanks." Then he stealthily moved toward the gym.

She watched as he walked towards the gym and thought I've never seen him look so well.

* * *

**_SRU HQ – Gym_**

Out of eye sight of anyone in the gym Sam overheard normal banter complaining about Wordy's choice of DVD.

"We have had to watch that too many times in the past months. Why do you keep picking it?" Spike complained.

Wordy responded "Because I like it."

"You like a Disney movie? I thought it was because your girls liked it" Greg said.

"I just like it okay. It reminds me of …" Wordy didn't complete his sentence.

Jules interrupted "Leave him alone. I like it too. Wordy can choose it any time" as she mock threatened to hit Spike.

"Okay, okay. My arms can't take anymore. They are black and blue" Spike said as he backed away from Jules.

"At least you don't bruise as vividly as Sam. He looks like a melted box of crayons when he bruises" Lou laughed. They all laughed.

Ed piped in with sarcasm "Shhh Shhh, Oh goodie it's starting" as the first strains of Snow White started.

Sam stepped into view and said "So you're not watching Napping Beast" and gave them his WOW smile.

His eardrums were blown away by Spike's screeching and the yells of "Sam" from the others as he was engulfed in hugs from all six of them. After several moments they settled back down.

Greg noticed the bag slung on his shoulder and was the first to speak. "You're back?"

Sam smiled broadly the light reaching his eyes "Yeah, I passed my requals yesterday. The Commander and Rollie took me through them. Wanted to surprise you all."

From behind him Holleran said "Passed them with flying colors. We got some new records. Welcome back Sam."

A course of welcome backs came from the team along with more hugs and backslaps. The team felt complete.

Ed asked "So you requal'd? What was your time on the course? I distinctly remember telling you that I'd bench you if you didn't requal with a better time on the course."

Sam looked directly at Ed with a cocky tilt of his head. Then with self-confidence exuding in his voice he gave Ed a lopsided grin and said "Can't bench me, shaved three minutes off the best time."

The team looked astonished and congratulated him.

Ed looked amused and thought damned cocky kid. But Sam had a right to be cocky, he had pushed himself hard to get back. Most would not have made it at all. And those few that did would certainly not have done it in four months' time and returned in better shape than before.

Mirroring Sam's stance and tone Ed said "We'll see about that Braddock. Just remember when you're the democratically elected leader you get to make autocratic decisions." They both laughed and Ed gave him several shoulder pats and added "Good work Sam. So glad you're back. I need you to help me whip these guys into shape."

"Sounds good. Just gonna go get changed for workout" Sam said as he headed for the locker room.

* * *

**_SRU HQ – Locker Room_**

As Sam opened his locker and looked at the only picture attached. It was of Matt and him. He smiled and wordlessly mouthed 'miss you, thank you buddy'. He turned and opened his gym bag and withdrew several pictures. As he attached them to his locker he felt glad that he had decided to stay at home the entire recovery time, it allowed him to get to know his family. He missed the team badly and was very happy to be back to this family too. He was so lucky to have so many people who he cared about and who cared about him. Life was good.

He attached one of him and his dad and smiled. The General had returned to work as soon as they had arrived home but Sam got to see him frequently as he did not have to be out of the country. He enjoyed coffee with him most mornings. Sometimes they talked but mostly sat in silence reading the newspaper and enjoying a closeness they had never known before.

The cousins and his mother were conspicuously absent for morning coffee. They must have known it was how father and son were trying to reconnect. They also enjoyed playing chess together. Evenly matched they both loved the strategy needed to play well.

It wasn't all pie and ice cream though. They were both stubborn men with strong ideas and found that they still clashed loudly over some things. But they had developed a true sense of respect and regard for one another. Now any heated argument was mended after one or the other had calmed down sufficiently to be reasonable.

Next he added one of him and his mother. Sam thought reconnecting with is mom was easier. She beamed at having a house full of guys. But most of all she loved having Sam home. They spent time nearly every evening talking and laughing in her sitting room.

Her brightness and sense of humor helped pull him out of some very black moods. Late in the third month he had confided his feeling for Jules to her and the obstacles to having a relationship with her. She had been contemplative and said that it might take time but if it was meant to be it would happen.

He added two more pictures. One was of him and his five cousins. They all had huge smiles on all their faces and arms slung over each other's shoulders. The second was all the Braddock men, fathers and sons plus Blaze and Winds.

Both pictures had been taken last weekend after a paintball war of epic proportions. The Braddock Boys took on a team consisting of all four of their fathers, Blaze and Winds. They had spent the entire day there and played five games. The 'boys' had barely won three to two against the 'old men'.

In the fifth game, the last two players left had been him and his father. They fired at nearly the same time but Sam was a fraction of a second faster and his aim was truer. Sam's shot was a solid heart hit and his father's shot had barely grazed Sam's left arm.

His dad had looked at the paintball stain on his chest and then called Samuel Badass 2.0. Everyone burst into laughter that did not quit for quite sometime. On the way home Kyle had suggested that they make it an annual event. Sam liked that idea. Next year he might invite Team One. It would be interesting with three teams going against each other.

He grinned. The inside of his locker now looked like the other guys. He had pictures of family now. The only one that was missing was one of Team One. He planned on making sure to get a picture next weekend at the Team BBQ picnic.

Shel and Sophie had been so happy to be able to finally pick a date for the picnic. Wordy told him that Allie talked non-stop about Uncle Sam coming home. Sam reached into his bag and withdrew a colorful drawing and attached it too. Looking at it made him happy.

His phone call with Scott rolled through his mind and a thought struck him. One day he hoped to add more pictures. He stood there imagining a picture of Jules taped to his locker and maybe sometime later pictures of and artwork from a son or daughter.

Scott was right. He had it bad for Jules and they would make a good match. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Time. Just need time to make that work and grinned.

Realizing he had taken so much time reminiscing he was now late for workout. He quickly changed and headed to the gym.

* * *

**_SRU HQ – Gym_**

Sam walked back into the gym taping up his hands heading for the heavy bag with the grin still plastered on his face.

Ed looked at the clock five-twenty am. He piped up in a mock serious voice "Hey Samo, you're late."

Without missing a beat Sam laughed and replied with a solid smile "Sorry boss, won't happen again."

The room erupted in laughter.

Wordy, Greg and Ed, shared a quick glance with one another. The entire team was smiling and laughing. It was so good to have Sam back. The rest of workout was spent in happy banter and teasing.

When Sam went to the weight station and began to workout Jules could not keep her eyes from roaming back to him. His chest and arm muscles were huge now and he looked so well.

Sam caught Jules checking him out and smiled and winked at her.

Jules quickly looked away and started talking to Wordy about Allie. But her internal monolog said 'he is under my skin, wish I could kiss him again, damn better get myself under control'.

As they finished the workout and the team headed for the locker rooms to shower and change into uniforms Greg called out "Briefing in twenty minutes. We have protection detail at the Royal York hotel today for David Graham, billionaire human right crusader and his wife."

He got a chorus of "Copy that" back.

"Hey Eddie, hold up a second" Greg said wanting to get Ed's input on today's call.

"What's up?" Ed asked.

Greg rubbed a towel over his head and said "I'm truly glad that Sam is back but the timing is bad. Tomorrow would have been better" Greg said.

"You're worried about the location. You think it will cause a problem for him?" Ed asked seriously.

"I don't know? I spoke at length with his therapist when he completed the mandatory sessions and she assures me all is okay. Not sure if the Royal York will bring up bad memories. I couldn't bear it if it caused him any more pain. I had wanted to ease him back into the team" Greg responded with concern in his voice.

"The Royal York has bad memories for all of us. I'm sure he can handle it. It is just protection detail. Should be a no brainer, all the reccy was done for us. But why don't you just make Sam your second today. That way you can keep an eye on him and make sure he is okay" Ed suggested.

"That sounds like a great idea. I'll see you in about forty-five minutes. I know you have to head home to grab a suit." Greg smiled as he headed to the locker room and thought damn glad Sam made it back to the team, to the family, he truly belongs.

.

* * *

**AN:** **If you enjoyed this story you might enjoy the Beauty of Life world of my own creation.** I have completed and published the first book in my Beauty of Life series and I'm halfway through writing my second book Solace. My Beauty of Life series _somewhat_ follows the world I have created here **with**_ necessary changes_, **NEW content, and NEW twists and turns**.

****FORSAKEN: ****_On the Edge of Oblivion  
_****_Beauty of Life, Book One_****_  
_by Laura Acton****

**Is now available as an ebook or paperback on Amazon.**  
(note: Kindle ebooks can be read on computers, tablets and phones with a free reader app from Amazon - NO Kindle required.)

**Come meet Daniel** **William Broderick**, Alexandra 'Lexa' McKenna, Jonathan Hardy, Nicholas Pastore, Dante 'Loki' Baldovino, Abraham 'Bram' De Haven, Raymundo Palomo, Tia Walsh, Walter Gambrill, Brody Mikhail Hunter and the rest of your favorite characters (the General, the Broderick cousins, Blaze, Mason, Patch, etc.). Delve into a complex world of courageous men and women riding a roller coaster of emotions and danger. Explore the nature of relationships and bonds developed and strengthened in the face of adversity.

**Forsaken Summary:**

Dan Broderick is on the edge of oblivion. After a friendly fire incident, his heart and soul were ripped to shreds. He chose to leave Special Forces when his unit, men he considered brothers, turned their backs on him. Dan returned to Toronto where he hoped to find the beauty of life and make a difference as a sniper for the Tactical Response Force. Will his new team pull him back from the edge or be the reason he slips into oblivion?

Alpha Team is the elite team of Toronto's Tactical Response Force. Five men and one woman with a rare familial bond, help each other cope with the dark side of humanity as they keep the citizens of Toronto and each other safe. Their team balance is knocked off kilter when an unwanted, new teammate is forced on them. Will Alpha Team's resentment of the new member prevent them from recognizing the wounded soul in their midst before it's too late to save him?

* * *

**FORSAKEN ****contains 80% new content** combined with some tweaked/expanded parts of previous stories. Forsaken begins with Dan's meeting with the General to exit the military. There is an all new way that Dan first meets the team and Lexa (JAM fans should like this way a lot).

**Continue reading for a sneak peek of ****FORSAKEN:** _**On the Edge of Oblivion **_**...**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**_July 10  
Afghanistan – General's Office_**

The barren, brown landscape within his view, exactly matched the wasteland where his heart used to be. He was an empty, scarred shell of desolation. Everything worth anything in him had been blown away on May twenty-sixth.

He couldn't bear the pain of living with what he'd done. After weeks of investigation, the review board had cleared him of fault, but he would never forgive himself. It was his fault no matter what anyone said. The guilt and remorse weighed heavy on him.

Brody was dead and it was his fault. His bullet had blown away the person that meant the most to him in this world. His best friend, his brother, the man that saw him for who he really was and accepted him, faults and all. The man that had saved him countless times and wouldn't let him fall into darkness was now dead, at his hand.

Master Corporal Daniel William Broderick stood at rigid attention before the General's desk as he waited for the General to join him in the office. The window to the outside world was the only place he allowed his eyes to go.

He didn't dare look at the desk. It would be a reminder that he had no one now. No one. He was alone again. Not that he needed a reminder, it was an ever-present thought in his head. One that was unrelenting, mocked him and demanded that he end it all.

No one would mourn him, like they mourned Brody. The world would be a better place without him. He was a failure in all ways that mattered. He failed to protect Sara, Brody, Ripsaw, Yankee, Shy, Buzz, Dutch, Gambit, Unicorn and a host of others. They were all dead because he failed.

The past six years had been purgatory, but at least he hadn't been alone. Brody and the unit had made it bearable. Now that was all gone. Brody was dead and his unit brothers had turned their backs on him. Not that he blamed them. He had committed the greatest sin of all, he'd killed one of their own.

He was back to being alone in this world. Everyone and everything he ever cared about was ripped from him once again. The first time it happened, he was only nine years old and his whole world changed one summer afternoon. Dan had lost everything dear to him in a blink of an eye when he failed to protect his little sister Sara. His parents abandoned him. His father wished it had been him that died instead of Sara.

And … for the past six years, his father had tried to kill him—of that he was sure. It was only through the efforts of his unit that he'd survived.

The deep aching pain of Brody's death threatened to overtake Dan again. He wished that he had access to a weapon, any weapon, so he could end the pain. But he'd been locked in a cell for the past six weeks which was devoid of anything he could use to end it. He'd also been watched by guards around the clock.

When in his cell, he was allowed nothing more than his t-shirt and shorts. There was only a mattress on the floor—they didn't even give him a cot. He was given only things that could be eaten without the use of utensils. His cell didn't even have a toilet. He had to ask to use a toilet and was escorted to the facilities by four armed soldiers who always looked at him with disdain.

He'd tried to escape once, hoping that they'd shoot him, but they only tasered him. They took joy in taunting him, calling him killer and murderer, and zapping him so many times that he'd blacked out. When he woke up, he was back in his cell. There was a new set of guards after that.

The new guards also looked at him with disdain. It was also mixed with pity. Disdain he could handle, he deserved that for what he'd done. Pity, on the other hand, he could not handle. Pity dredged up so many more horrific memories for him and made him want to kill the guards with his bare hands.

Dan pushed back down the memories of his three months of torture at the hands of terrorists that pity evoked. Those memories had been locked away for four years and needed to stay that way. Brody had helped him lock them away in a special place and move forward. The unit had helped too. Especially his unit Commanding Officer, Blaze.

Blaze had been the embodiment of a father that Dan so desperately wanted. It had taken time to build a bond and trust between them. Trusting was never easy for Dan after being discarded by his natural family. But he'd come to trust Blaze and thought of him as a father figure. The bullet that had blown away Brody, had also severed that bond of trust.

When Dan woke in the hospital six weeks ago, Blaze wouldn't even meet his eyes. None of the unit would. After confirming that Brody was dead, no one spoke a single word to him. After the first three days, they never came to visit him either.

Dan had felt a connection with each of his unit buddies. They were all brothers, their bonds forged in the fires of hell. Bonds that Dan thought could never be broken—but they had, his bullet blew those bonds away.

Everyone had deserted him again. And it was all his fault, just like before with Sara. His natural family and now his chosen unit family were gone. There was nothing left for him here. Nothing. He needed to leave—to go far away.

Dan clamped down on his deep, aching pain, grief and shame. He firmly affixed his mask. It wouldn't do to let anyone know the pain and guilt he felt—not that anyone would give a damn. But he needed his shields firmly in place so his weakness wouldn't show. Especially not to the General.

He could never allow the General to see his vulnerability. The man would use it against him. The General had been making his life hell for six years and Dan knew if he showed weakness, the General would twist the knife in deeper.

The General wanted him dead and had been trying to kill him for six years now. Somehow, he had always managed to survive, even when the odds were against him. General Broderick wanted him to die in service to his country so the General could maintain the illusion of family honor.

That fact was one of the reasons Dan wasn't dead yet. Oh, he wanted to die, there was no disputing that fact and he would eventually find a way to die and end his pain. But before he did that, Dan wanted to stick it to the General first—cause him some pain of his own in return for all the pain the General had caused him over years.

Ending his military career would be the first step in doing so. Dan would throw back into the General's face all that the General held dear. He would break with generations of family tradition and leave the military. The fact he was doing so under the cloud of being the one responsible for the death of a soldier in a friendly fire incident was simply icing on the cake. It had actually facilitated his early exit from Special Forces and the military.

As he continued to stand a rigid attention, Dan wished the General would hurry up and get in here. The faster he got this over with, the faster he could leave this place. He needed to leave and he needed to shed this tan uniform. A uniform that had renewed his life ten years ago—when he met Brody in boot camp—but then ended it six weeks ago when he killed Brody.

* * *

_**General's Office – Outer Office**_

General William Arthur Broderick strode into his outer office where all his staff were located. He'd been delayed by a critical meeting with Colonel Thomas Sutton. He disliked making Daniel wait but there was no way around it.

Everyone stopped what they were doing when the General strode in. What was happening today would be food for the gossip mill. Several of them thought they were lucky enough to have first row seats and were looking forward to the many beers would be bought for them tonight as they would recount what was about to happen.

For the past six weeks, gossip regarding the friendly fire incident that resulted in the death of Master Corporal Brody Hunter was rampant. It had shocked the Special Forces community. So many wanted to see Master Corporal Broderick brought up on murder charges and felt that Dan Broderick was being given special treatment because he was the General's son. Others were more compassionate. They were quick to defend Broderick's actions as an unfortunate accident.

It was clear from all accounts that Broderick had been given the all clear to fire. The only unknown was the how and why of Hunter's presence in the target zone. Many who wanted charges filed believed that Dan should've noticed that he was firing on a friendly. Especially since Hunter and Broderick were in the same unit.

Stopping in front of Corporal Merrill's desk, the General asked, "Do you have the paperwork ready for Master Corporal Broderick?"

"Almost, Sir," Corporal Cody Merrill stated as he stood. He held out the file to the General. "It has been prepared exactly as you requested. I just need to finalize the voluntary reactivation paperwork. It will take me a few minutes."

"Is the Master Corporal waiting in my office?"

Corporal Merrill nodded. "Yes, Sir. Been there for about twenty minutes."

General Broderick reached for the file.

As the General took the file from him, Merrill relaxed a bit, but only a bit. The General was an imposing man. He wasn't nicknamed Badass for nothing. The General was the epitome of military bearing, through and through. He was a hard man from everything Merrill could see and knew about the man.

His face didn't show his years, the chiseled angular lines and firm square jaw still attracted attention from females. Even in his mid-fifties, the General's military-cut hair was still golden blonde. Merrill thought that gray and white hairs were probably afraid of General Badass, so didn't dare try to sprout on his head. The General's eyes were a deep shade of sapphire blue that could, when the General was angry, freeze a soldier in his place with the piercing intensity. When the General dressed-down soldiers, his voice alone could cut a soldier to shreds, it could be icy and unyieldingly hard.

No one doubted the deadliness of General Badass. His physique was still muscular and well-toned—nothing had gone soft on the General. It was suggested he could probably still best many of the younger soldiers in hand-to-hand combat. General Broderick had been a Special Forces sniper before he was promoted to lead Special Forces. His record for distance, accuracy and speed had only been supplanted by his son, Master Corporal Broderick.

Merrill knew that General Broderick had come up through the ranks rapidly and became a Brigadier General at the age of thirty-four and a full General by forty. There was talk that his path had almost been guaranteed with the connections of his late father, Brigadier General Arthur Broderick.

The General looked a lot like his late father, just like the Master Corporal looked like a younger version of the General with a few slight differences. Merrill knew this because he had done his research and because the Broderick family was well known in military circles. They were a military family and were in every branch, Army, Navy and Air Force. For at least eight generations back, maybe even more, every Broderick male joined the military. They served with honor and distinction and either died in the field or were eventually forced to retire.

Not a single Broderick had ever left the military when they were still able bodied.

Until now.

Corporal Merrill watched the General head towards his office. The General's son was breaking with tradition and leaving the military. Merrill was glad of that. It resolved his problems. He wouldn't have to deal with Major Plouffe anymore. Cody was glad to be finally free of that man's machinations.


End file.
